Earlier that night, Amber already left the living room for privacy. Thirty minutes of silence between all members and it wasn't until a scream was heard coming from her room. Victoria's eyes widened, looking at her teammates for clues only to be stared right back.

" I thought it ended already." Krystal placed down her phone, shocked. Everybody now had their attention on Krystal. she was the only one who knew and if they were more than teammates, family, she knew she had to spill out the news.

"Amber has been like that for weeks. She's been having a hard time to sleeping properly." Her voice was soft continuing, "She wouldn't admit it. She said she'll open up soon but when I stay up later than her, I catch her dreaming and her dreams are really off." Nobody had a clue. Of course they wouldn't. They were used to Amber, immune to her antics and uniqueness. Although, they were not as sensitive as to how everybody else saw her.

Krystal rolled her eyes, "Her gender. her . THAT. Whatever."

It was an awkward silence that filled the room rather than full concern.Krystal didn't know how to put it. Victoaria on the other hand, had doubts about her self, how they would handle it,"If we can't do anything about it, somebody who understands her more than us?"

"We can't really contact her sister right now, can we?" Krystal wanted to give it a shot but right now, Amber needed physical attendance.

"Henry?" One said, out of the ordinary.

"Definitely out of the list." Krystal blocked the idea off. It made sense, he was one of the reasons why she was in argument with Kris.

"Minho oppa?" Luna tried again, only to be interrupted by Sulli saying, "Kris, then."

"We can try but that's really hard. They are in an argument and as if he'd bother to pick up."

If it was December her face would have frozen over, but the fall was just getting in with a cold wind she must get used to. It had to start by having no muffler as she looked for Kris guided by city lights.

Luna wasn't kidding when she saw a figure leaning at the edge. Amber didn't know how on earth she'll be starting the conversation.

"You're here?" He must have heard the gravel as she walked closer and greeted her.

"Ah..." Speechless wasn't the word to describe it. Her mind ran through the things she has done. She was expecting Kris to look but he didn't sound like himself. She was afraid of what was to come. Maybe it was how it was all bottled up, or how scared she is in facing reality.

"Minho, oppa. I-"  was what Amber muttered before she broke into tears, slowly hugging her brother like friend.

"Not happy to see me?" Minho only hugged her closer, trying to cheer her up. It didn't work, her tears only flowed freely. It was a moment where she had to take it out of her system.

"It's okay to not be okay. I won't stop you from crying."

"Thank goodness. I guess I'm scared. I still don't know how I'll face Kris." Her hand gripped on his shoulders, her chest heaving. "I didn't know what to do! I was so lost in myself. I'm still afraid of how he'll see me. How my dad couldn't accept it. Oppa, I thought it was over but it just rushes back on the top of my head." She no longer hid herself on his shoulders, her face seeing the city lights that was left on to paint the dark sky. "When I look around, the fans, the company takes out that monster and hugs it like it's not the devil."

"It's because it's not the devil. Amber, this side of you. It's up to you." Minho created space between them, looking at her tear- streaked cheeks.

"You think. Cause it's not. There's even a contract for it."

"Then use it to your advantage. Most idols would love to keep a side of themselves personal. " Amber let Minho do the talking, her mind blank. For once this entire time, she was able to rest her mind.

"You know it should be Kris here tonight." Just like that, she was stiff again.

"Don't be afraid of him Amber, in fact you should trust him even more. Give him the chance to have you to himself. Open up, if not like this then whatever surprising side you have in you."

Amber only stared at him. But Minho was right.

 After the my worst side that I shoved in his face, unknowingly. Kris didn't deserve any of this.

"He may be angry now but Amber, I'm telling you it's all part of it. Have a little faith. Cause I have faith in the both of you. You don't see it but I think Kris can handle what you call yourself monster."

            Text to : Kris

                        Are you mad?

            Text to : Kris

                        I'm so sorry. About the entire week. The Henry thing.

            Text to : Kris

                        Can we talk?

Back in her room, 8 in the morning, Amber finally felt the wave of exhaustion hit her when Minho left. She was on her bed half asleep since she sent the last message. She didn't feel the vibration but noticed the four letter name on the screen.

           Text from: Kris

                        I'm going to China. Talk later when I land.

Amber was wide awake from then on. She tried to wake up the others but Victoria was the only one who was utterly bothered by Amber's heavy weight.

"Can we train today? For whatever show. Anything."

"Later. It's too early."  Victoria grabbed a pillow covering her face from Amber's small talk.

"Now. Please. I'll pay for everything. Including breakfast." Amber shook Victoria's bed, lied down on her and took away the pillow.

"Please. For our performance to be better. For me to be okay again. " Amber said punching her with the pillow.

"Unnie is treating! Everybody wake up!" Sulli's voice rang from the door, her weight crushing Amber and Victoria on the bed.

"Thanks Sulli" Amber half smiled, Krystal and Luna pushing past the door and joining the pile.

"No more! No more! You're all so heavy!" Victoria looked at her ceiling shouting to be heard between everybody else's laughter.

The entire time they were practicing, right after her treat for everybody,  Amber tried to distract herself from her phone. Thinking when Kris will land, when she'll call her.

"You already said he's in China. He won't call. " Krystal crushed all hopes. Amber looked away and back, thinking whether or not Krystal's personality was a blessing or a curse. It made her have less hope, less expectations, less hurt. And that was good, wasn't it?

"He can be busy. He can even be moving in permanently." A curse, especially with her sarcasm that sounded so real. Amber just ignored everything, including her phone and focused. 

*****

Author's Note: For reference, the one between the two lines, italicized, the first few paragraphs of this update is what happened when Amber left. So if Amber is in her room in the previous chapter, this would be the rest of fx getting straight in the living room like a family.