"KRIS WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

 Kris stood as soon as he heard his name. At three in the morning, he was wide awake, no need for his alarm or the manager to wake him up. Apparently last night wasn't a nightmare, it was reality - a situation where some things never left his mind, with not even two minutes of sleep. On the way to wherever he had to be, Kris felt bittersweet. He needs a breather.

Kris was in a mood that made him drag himself, though as an entertainer he had to put on his handsome face that he always bragged about. Kris had to dance and rap and be such an amazing idol that most girls would fall for. But really, the inside - felt far away from the world.

So Amber really is like that? He's like that. Like that with someone else.

Victoria. A girl.

And here I am. Kris, the Canadian dude. The bro.

A guy.

And right now it was a clichéd " another beautiful day" where he had his mind flying around in the cloud of thoughts. Kris had himself dragged all the way to China for a few long hours of promotion.

" There he goes again. If we're not in Korea, we're in China. But on some days Kris just leaves us and heads to his own world." Chen commented on how his hyung was thinking deeply that his forehead started to bead with sweat.

Tao approached his hyung grabbing a piece of tissue, "Hyung, don't hurt yourself from thinking too much. You're starting to have cold sweat." Tao said and dabbed the forehead of his hyung.

Kris stood from his bench as soon as the quick touch up was finished and walked towards the door.

"Duizhang. Stop." Someone from behind stopped him from leaving the room, not until he looked as to who it was. Xiumin stood, waiting for the people to leave the room, making Kris walk back inside, away from the door.

"Please move quickly, we will begin the talk show in a few minutes." The last one to leave said before closing the door receiving a nod from Xiumin and the duizhang himself for assurance of their presence.

"Tell me honestly alright? And answer me properly." Kris was half shocked, not knowing of what Xiumin wanted from him.

"Tell me what's wrong? Why are you like this? " Xiumin's face was filled with worry and was ready to understand with what he was about to hear.

"L-like what? " Kris put up his front, using what he's been learning from the company.

"Kris, don't act. You're terrible at that. And I know you're in a terrible mood. Now as a hyung, I need to know. You may be duizhang. But I'm your gege, the one who's supposed to be helping you when you can't sleep, eat, and perform well." Xiumin explained quickly.

Kris was touched by the words of his teammate, aware that Xiumin noticed and was there to help him.

"I-I found out something. And it's about someone I like. I already had a feeling that it would be that way , that he's like that, but I think I just may believe in it. No matter how terrible it is."

"In shorter terms..." Xiumin started rolling his hands, knowing that they had to run to the stage after this talk.

"The person I like is different. I like him as he is. But I need something to at least confirm everything so my mind would stop overacting and my heart wouldn't stop pumping blood for my body." Kris said and pulled on the door.

"So go ask him." Xiumin said as he kept up with Kris' pace. Kris' face said it all, the corner of his lips dropped in a frown, his head bent slightly- his eyes following his footsteps as soon as he realized that he didn't really have the time nor the courage to actually such a thing. Xiumin felt bad as well. Kris was never really like this when he was sad.

"You know, I'd love to do that. But I'm not in Korea right now. And the courage isn't in me..." Kris shook his head walking up the flight of stairs.

"Can't text him?" Xiumin pushed the thought of communication even if they just reached the floor near the stage.

"I'm busy, Am- I mean he's busy ." Kris wanted to fall down the 3 flights of stairs after almost spilling the beans as to who he likes. STUPID. STUPID KRIS. THAT WAS CLOSE

"It's also bothersome. I don't even know If I can face...him. " How do you even face a person when you know something that's nerve-racking. Like the fact that Amber ... Kris couldn't even finish the sentence- the thought of her, the thought of him being that way, made Kris breath short.

"Lights, put them a bit higher. The late comers are here." The person with the clipboard announced in his walkie-talkie with frustration.

" Duizhang,, we need you to look your best. We have a show to attend to. We'll talk about this when we get back to Korea or later at the dorm." Xiumin sad like it was really normal to say those things. Really, it is - the boys only have time to talk properly once they land in a country after a long schedule.

"Cue, Kris and Xiumin!" The lights behind the curtain blinded Kris making him raise his hand over head. He didn't want to move away from where he stood. It was too frustrating. The many things ran through his head until he felt his back being pushed.

"Duizhang. Smile and Wave!" Xiumin pushed the tall guy as he tried to follow the other boys before them.

Even without the right of backing out, even with a heavy feeling inside of him, Kris smirked the iest smirk, smiled the sweetest smile and waved as the fans screeched at the sight of him and the boys. The fans smiled, all the girls kept on screaming their name. The random girls screaming 'Kris, wo ai ni ' sending a vibe that kept Kris calm, wondering how would it feel if that he screamed those words just for him.

*****

"You're still stuck thinking about him?" Luhan said as he moved about the cramped room. The dorm in China was a bit smaller compared to the one they had in Korea, but that didn't stop Luhan and Xiumin from squeezing themselves in one bed to hear what Kris had to say. The tall boy had a lot in mind.

" So what if he's different?" Luhan said as he placed a pillow on his stomach.

"Look, sh-, the person I like is someone I'm not sure of, okay? Don't over react about it." Kris said wanting the two other boys off of his bed.

"Kris, you were the one who was zoning out earlier before the show. You already told me like one-fourth of what I needed and not needed to know. So why say you're not sure of the person?" Xiumin breathed in and continued what he had to say.

"Why would you be so unsure of the person? You've been practically moved, going out of your mind, just to keep composed during the show, when in reality I feel like you wanted to grab a flight with Korean Air and ask him the truth as soon as you land." Xiumin.

" I-I..."

"I' m just really - TOTALLY CONFUSED."

" Could you even imagine yourself turning gay cause of a person? Or something I don't even know. I don't even know If I have to be a guy to like he-that person. Do I have to be the girl? Do I even consider myself gay? Does that person like girls more? Does that person like guys ? Does she even like me? How on earth am I supposed to love when I don't even know where I'm supposed to be. GOODNESS. I'M SO LOST." Xiumin and Luhan watched Kris talk with his voice rising in frustration but it didn't end there.

"I don't even know if I'm supposed to be a guy... or will I be a gay just for that person to love me. You guys can tease me about it but I tell you, it's harder than you think. I don't know what to ask that person. Do I have to push through with this? Should I just quit if I'm going to be confused like this?" Kris sank down with a pillow on his chest, the two other boy's eyes following the problematic boy's face.

"You must really like the person." Luhan said in a as-a-matter-of-factly tone, it served as an assurance as to the bottom line of Kris' problem.

"You turned gay for a person? But I don't get it. It's either you're the gay one, or the other person is gay? Then you said 'her' -I'm so confused." Xiumin almost gave up in understanding but he knew better. As a hyung, he had to support Kris.

"I said her... because I don't know if ...the person is a guy or a girl." Kris tried to avoid the situation to say who it was. Who am I to say if Amber is a guy or girl? Even I want to know the truth.

"But originally, is the person a girl or a boy?" Xiumin raised an eyebrow, close to feeding his curiosity.

"What will a secret be if it's told?" Kris grinned showing of his small toothy smile toward his hyung.

"KRIS! YOU ANNOYING CLIFF-HANGER. JUST JUMP OFF A CLIFF!" Luhan felt like suffocating Kris with the pillow he had but the deer boy didn't really have the strength compared to the tall dragon. Xiumin's face fell flat on his palm as soon as he still didn't get the proper answer.

"Whatever it is. Whoever it may be, I know I'll find out. But this is a first, Kris. You're actually confused over a person. To the point where you can accept the fact that you may have to be gay in order to be with that person." Xiumin said moving on to his own bed.

"But isn't that sad? You had to be gay or something else that you're not for that person to love you. That's bull dung." Luhan commented on what the eldest had to say.

"I just need to confirm it. Of all the things that person made me search for it had to be where he's so different. He had something almost close to a scandal. I don't even know if they're together. " There goes my heart again.  Kris sighed and knew he had to get some sleep. He had to be presentable for the fans. He had to look his best, if ever somebody from Korea planned on watching him. Slowly his eyes dropped, but still his heart was aching at thought of Amber liking someone else.

*****

"Thanks for treating us dinner unnies!" Luna hugged both Amber and Victoria, coming from behind them.

Victoria smiled at the loving Luna until the other girls ran in front of them to go through a store. Her eyes trailed to the one beside her, the one who wouldn't let go of the hand phone, still stuck in the message.

Amber's been going back and forth- between Minho, an International friend, and the new message button.

For the past forty minutes, Amber had her eyes on the screen.

I thought he's going to work today-

"Amber. We're going this way. Are you okay?" Victoria laid her hand on Amber's back to guide her. Secretly checking the screen of Amber's phone until she finally placed it down and watch were she went.

"I'm just bothered. I was expecting a message or a call from somebody today. Apparently, still nothing" Amber said smiling breathing a sad sigh as soon as Victoria nodded and moved ahead to unlock the door to their place.

                Text to: Bro ( Kris ^^)

                Bro? Where are you now :(