I bolted, suddenly awake. . Damn this. I was so frustrated over the worse dreams of my life. Just when I thought I'd be fine with everything. I'd have to think it over. Just when I felt safe, the universe starts to question me again?

Prom was horrific. I was more comfortable rather than trying to impress people with my dress. I didn't bother with being prom King or Queen. The basketball team had my back no matter what in any case of competitions, but really being prom queen nor king as everybody else would imply, was not necessary at all. I know mum may be disappointed but It's a phase I went through. At the age of discovery, my parents talked to me. That kind of talk. She was in tears, mum sobbed silently in the kitchen. My dad looked out the window when I looked the way I am. I did what I wanted. Even moving to Korea, after being chosen when I first auditioned. They have already accepted me. Did they ever hold so much grudge against me? Every decision I made?

And Kris.

Kris.

He knows that I am what I am. He does, doesn't he? I am still Amber. I have feelings for him. For us.

It was already four in the morning and I really tried my best to fall back into deep slumber but I was wide awake.

It was probably the insecurity. Yeah maybe that. Even deep down inside me I know I can be myself be a girl-

But what if the dream does happen? I would still need to put on a show for the company, the unnies would still make me wear things like that. He would question me , with my outfit. Oh my god. like last night. My comeback to his compliment gave. . Really? I would wear his  clothes? Who the hell says that to her boyfriend? What if we go on a date and I look more of the guy than he is.

.

. . .

*****

Author's note: The problem at it's purest form, ladies (any gentlemen?) 

Congratulaions to all those who had the hint it was a dream! Sending my apologies to those who got so confused especially with the rather disturbing lady vixen at the end.And yes, double update :*