“What time did you sleep last night?” Kris asked and Yixing just stares at him. “Xing?”

“Huh? Oh. Uhm around 1 am in the morning.”

“Why?”

“Because I was watching tv.” Yixing lied. He was chatting with Luhan till late last night, trying to calm his friend down. Luhan was crying again last night and he was cursing about Kris too, but Yixing didn’t tell Kris about that.

“What show did you watch?” Kris asked.

“I don’t even know.” Yiixng said. “I was just flipping through the channels.” He said and smiled.

“Oh yeah, you’re coming for practice later right?”

“Of course.” Yixing nods. “Kris?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m still liking you, you know?” He asked and smiled.

Kris stares at him and chuckled.

“Teacher’s here!” Someone shouted and everyone went back to their place.

Yixing can’t concentrate, one, raging headache that seems like a daily routine now and two, Kris. He didn’t know what to feel about him now, whether to continue liking him or to just forget about it.

His eyelids felt heavier and heavier. Yixing blinked a few times and he closed his eyes. He wasn’t falling asleep, he just feel like closing his eyes. He out a few seconds later and the next thing he knows, he’s in the doctor’s office.

“What happened?” He asked Luhan which on the side of his bed.

“You just out like that.” Luhan said. “And when the teacher called your name you didn’t response, so Kris brought you here.”

“How long was I out?” He asked.

“Around 4 hours.” Luhan said. “Look over there.” He said and pointed at Kris.

Yixing looked at him and laughed a little. He was sleeping on the couch with an awkward pose and Yixing couldn’t help but laugh.

“I think he likes you.” Luhan said.

“I’m just a friend Luhan.” Yixing said. “A friend that just happens to comfort him when he’s sad.”

“Yixing…” Luhan held his hands. “When are you telling the truth to everyone?” He asked.

“It’s not the time yet.” Yixing said. “I still have 5 months you know.” He said and smiled.

“5 months…” Luhan started tearing up. “Only?”

“5 months is a long period of time if we spend it carefully.” Yixing said.

“Yixing…”

“Huh? What 5 months?” Kris suddenly woke up and rubs his eyes. “This place is so comfortable.”

“Uhm… Nothing…” Luhan said and got up.

“Hey, you gave us a scare there you know.” Kris said and held Yixing’s hand.

“I’m fine.” Yixing said. “Just a little tired I guess.”

“Stop stressing yourself so much.” Kris said. “You’re kinda making me feel guilty you know.” He said and Yixing chuckled.

“It’s not because of you.” Yixing said and shook his head. “I’m just a little weak nowadays.” He said and smiled.

“I guess I’ll leave the two of you alone...” Luhan said and smirked. He walked out of the doctor’s office and Yixing scowled at him.

“Didn’t you go see the doctor the other day? What did he say?” Kris asked.

“Huh?” Yixing tried to act dumb, he wanted to avoid the conversation.

“Did you tell him about your constant headaches?” Kris asked again.

“Yeah… I did…” Yixing nods slowly. “He says it’s just the heat.” He lied.

“Ah okay…” Kris nods. “Come on, I’ll get you home.” He said and Yixing looks at him.

The whole journey back to Yixing’s home was silent and Yixing was feeling a little awkward with Kris. Kris didn’t feel anything was wrong but Yixing was keeping his distance. For Yixing, he didn’t want Kris to feel bad after he’s gone. In fact, he was trying to get distance with everyone because he didn’t want anyone to miss him once he’s gone.

“You’ve been awfully quiet since this morning.” Kris said.

“Have I?”

“Yeah.” Kris nods. “Very.”

“I guess I’m just tired.” Yixing replied.

“Take care of yourself will you? You’re making me worried.” Kris said and Yixing flinched.

“There’s nothing to be worried about.” He said and smiled weakly. “I’m fine.”

“You’re keeping something from me aren’t you?” Kris asked.

“What?”

“I can see that you’re keeping a secret from me.”

“I am not.” Yixing said. “Why would I do that?”

“You sure?” Kris asked. “I’ve known you for more than 4 years, I know how you normally are.”

“I’ve changed.” Yixing said. “Probably not in a good way.”

“Yixing.” Kris stopped walking. “Be the old you. I miss the old you.”

“I can’t…” Yixing said and continue walking. “Things are different now…” He whispers but Kris didn’t hear him.

Kris stood and stares at Yixing. His friend changed, is it because of him? His friend, the friend that used to be the noisiest, the craziest and the most committed friend, what happened to him? Kris felt that something was off, but he don’t know what.

“Luhan, did you realize something is wrong with Yixing?” He called Luhan that night and asked.

“Why do you ask?”

“He’s so tired nowadays, he’s so quiet suddenly. Did something happen?”

“No.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

“No.” Luhan lied. He wanted to tell Kris everything but he promised Yixing not to. “But if there’s really something he would tell us, we’re his best friends remember?”

“Yeah…” Kris agrees. “I really hope that he’s fine though. It’s hard seeing him like this all the time.”

“I know right…” Luhan sighed and said. “Well if that’s all, I’ll see tomorrow then.”

“Alright. Bye.” Kris said and hung up.

He walked towards the balcony and he sighed. Did he make the right decision in saying no to Yixing?

“I like him but I don’t think I want to engage into another relationship yet.” Kris mumbles to himself. “Yixing changed… Because of me?”

Kris couldn’t sleep that night. He was sure that something was happening to Yixing and he and Luhan is keeping it from him. He knew something was off, but why didn’t the two of them tell him?

---

“Yixing, you’re advised to not go to school anymore.” Yixing’s doctor said.

“But I can’t. I have things that I need to do.”

“It’s for the best.”

“It’s only been two months… I’m strong enough to go.”

“Yixing…”

“Please? I promise I’ll be extra careful.”

“Do you have a friend that can take care of you everywhere you go?”

“Yes.”

“Just, be careful Yixing.”

“I know.” Yixing nods. “Thanks doctor.” He said.

Yixing sighed while he walked out of the hospital. Two months passed just like that, he is getting weaker, and he knows it. Band practices are hard for him, he can’t even lift his instrument anymore, and only Luhan knows about it.

“Yixing…” Luhan looked at him.

“It’s great seeing the others practicing hard like this.” Yixing said while smiling.

“It’s because everyone’s pumped up and they’re all ready for our concert night.” Luhan said.

Yixing smiled weakly.

“I don’t think I’m performing this time.”

“But why?” Luhan stares at him.

“I can’t.”

“It’s your last time…” Luhan said, trying hard to hold back his tears. “It’s our last time. It’s our last year here.”

“Then I want to be down stage looking and cheering for you guys.” Yixing said.

“Yixing please.”

“Luhan, I’m not supposed to be in school anymore. Doctor said I’m not fit at all to be in school.”

Luhan kept quiet. “You still aren’t telling everyone?”

“It’s best to not tell them.” Yixing said. “I don’t want them to get sad because I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going?” Kris asked, appearing from nowhere.

“Nowhere.” Yixing said and blinked. “Who said anything about leaving?”

“You did. A few seconds ago.”

“We’re going to have lunch. Wanna tag along?” Yixing asked, trying to change the topic.

“I’ve been dying to hear that sentence!” Kris said and smiled. “I’m starving.”

Yixing smiled, all he wanted now was to spend the time he has left with his friends. 

“Oh yeah, I wanted to tell you guys that… I’m going on a student exchange program!” Kris said.

“Where to?”

“Germany!” Kris said.

“For how long?” Luhan asked.

“Probably two months.” He said.

Luhan looked at Yixing but Yixing just smiled.

“Have fun there then.” He said.

“I’ll bring back presents!” Kris said.

“When are you going?” Luhan asked.

“Tomorrow. You guys wanna come send me off?” Kris asked.

“Nope.” Yixing said and smiled. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“Whyyyyy? It’s not goodbye forever.” Kris said and Luhan glanced at Yixing.

Yixing flinched. “I just don’t feel like saying goodbye.” He said. “Want to make you feel guilty for leaving us here alone!” He joked.

“Aww I’m already feeling guilty.” Kris said and laughed.

Luhan took out his phone and texted Yixing, they can’t talk when Kris is there.

“This could be goodbye forever if you don’t tell him now.” Luhan wrote.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” Yixing texted back.

“Are you guys texting each other?” Kris asked, looking at the two of them.

“No. Why would we do that, that’s stupid.” Yixing lied and laughed.

Luhan can do nothing but stares at his friend, he sighed and smiled. Maybe that’s the reason that Yixing is his best friend.

---

“So, where’s Yixing?” Kris asked while video calling Luhan.

“Uhm… He’s next to me.” Luhan said and moves the laptop.

“Hey Kris.”

“Whoa, why are you in the hospital?” Kris asked.

“It’s nothing.” Yixing lied. “I fell and fractured my foot. So the doctor said that I need to undergo operations and bla bla bla.” Yixing lied.

Yixing didn’t have much time left. He’s getting weaker and weaker day by day. But that didn’t stop him from being the happy person he was, he still talks like nothing happened. His friends from school came to visit, all of them were feeling sad but except for Yixing, the only one smiling and joking all the time.

“Are you alright now then?”

“Of course Kris.” He said. “I’ve been sleeping for the pass 30 hours. Blame the drugs used.”

“30 hours? What are you, a koala bear?”

The two of them were laughing and joking all the way and Luhan just sat the corner, secretly crying. He knows that Yixing really loved Kris and Kris, he’s still unsure about himself.

“When are you coming back you idiot?” Yixing asked.

“Who’s the idiot you’re talking about?” Kris asked.

“You?”

“You’re mean.” Kris pouted. “Next Friday.”

“Ha. I can’t wait to get my souvenirs.” Yixing said.

“I’m not getting them for you.”

“I don’t care, I want chocolates.” He said.

“I have something to tell you.” Kris said.

“What?”

“Wait till I’ve come back, then I’ll tell you.” Kris said and Yixing froze.

He didn’t know if he can still wait.

“Just tell me now.”

“Nope. It’s a surprise.” Kris smiled.

Yixing smiled too, but on the inside, it hurts.

“Oops, gotta go! I’ll call you again okay?”

“Okay… Bye. I’ll be waiting you know.”

Kris smiled and nods. Yixing ended the call and he shut down Luhan’s laptop.

“Luhan…” Yixing said with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I know…” Luhan went over to Yixing’s bed and hugs him. “It hurts me too.”

“If I don’t make it, tell everyone I love them. Tell Kris, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that!” Luhan said and pats Yixing’s head. “You’ll make it.”

Yixing shook his head and smiled weakly. “I know this myself Luhan.”

“Oh Yixing…” Luhan was already crying together with Yixing. “I’m sorry…”

A week passed by and it was already Thursday. Yixing was lying on his bed, staring out of the window.

“Hey there.” Luhan said and opens the ward door.

“Hey hey hey.” Yixing greeted him with smiles.

“Kris is coming back tomorrow.”

“I know.” Yixing said and smiles. “I want to see him so badly.”

“Patience dude.” Luhan chuckled. “It’s only a day.”

Yixing laughed.

“I’m tired.” He said.

“Then go to sleep.” Luhan said. “I’ll be here with you.”

“Thanks Luhan. Thank you.”

“I’ll wake you up when it’s time to take your medicine then.” Luhan said and Yixing smiled.

“Thanks Lulu, you really are the best friend ever.” He said and closed his eyes.

Luhan began doing his homework and was busy for the whole afternoon. He keep glancing at Yixing to check if he’s still breathing. He was relieved to see Yixing’s chest moving up and down every time he check. Kris called and Luhan told him that Yixing is still sleeping. Kris told him that he’ll call the next day when he reaches and their conversation ended.

Luhan glanced at the clock again and he realized that it’s time to wake Yixing up. He walks to Yixing’s bed and gently shook him.

“Yixing? Time to wake up now.” He said. But Yixing did not move.

“Yixing?” Luhan began to panic. “Zhang Yixing! Wake up now! Yixing!”

Still no reaction.

Without hesitation, Luhan ran out of the ward shouting for help.

---

“Hey there, miss me?” Kris asked when he saw Luhan.

Luhan looked up, eyes puffy and he looks tired.

“You alright there?” Kris asked. “You look terrible.”

Luhan ignored him and pulled his arm.

“Where’s Yixing anyway?” Kris asked, looking around.

“We’re going to see him now.”

Kris was curious about Luhan’s behavior. His friend was never like that.

“You’re scaring me, what’s happening?”

“Just follow me.” Luhan said and pushed Kris into the taxi he just hailed.

The journey to the hospital was silent and Luhan’s face was expressionless the whole time.

“Where are we going?” Kris asked.

“Hospital.”

“Yixing’s still there? That clumsy kid, I knew things like this would happen.” Kris said and Luhan just kept quiet and continue staring into blank.

The reach the hospital 15 minutes later and Luhan just lead the way. Kris followed behind blankly, still unsure of what had just happened. They walked to the emergency room and kris could see Yixing’s family outside, crying.

“Luhan… What is this?” Kris asked. “What happened?”

Luhan looked at him and looked back to the emergency room. He shook his head and tears began falling to the ground.

“No…” Kris said. “Don’t tell me Yixing…”

“He had brain cancer Kris, it was too late when he found out.” Luhan finally said.

“No…” Kris took a step back. He didn’t believe all this. “This is not true…”

“He left this in his backpack.” Luhan said. “For you.”

Kris looked at what Luhan had gave him, it’s an envelope, a sky blue envelope, the color that Yixing likes most.

Kris’s legs gave in and he kneeled on the ground. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“He didn’t want you to worry, in fact, he didn’t want anyone to worry.” Luhan said.

Kris was crying. He didn’t even try to hold back those tears, he just cried.

Yixing’s gone, the one that loved him, the one that treasured him is gone, the one that he loved, is gone.

“Why didn’t you wait for me Yixing? I wanted to tell you that I love you…” Kris said, wiping his tears away. “I didn’t even get to let you know that I love you…”

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“I’m still liking you, you know?” He asked and smiles.