WARNING: LONG CHAPTER AHEAD! READY YOUR TISSUE BOXES IN CASE YOU SNEEZE!

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No one’s POV

Baekhyun pushed Luhan off the couch until the front door, while the dog kept barking on Luhan. Luhan, who’s much more stronger and bigger than Baekhyun, didn’t know what to do and just let himself get pushed by the younger boy.

“Go away, hyung!” Baekhyun shouted, his eyes piercing Luhan. “You’re going to be late for your flight.”

SLAM!

Baekhyun slammed the door in front of Luhan and rushed back to you. You had your face buried on your hands, so you weren’t aware of what Baekhyun just did. Or maybe you were, but it doesn’t really matter.

“Stop crying.” Baekhyun groaned, pulling your hands harshly from your face. “You’re a pathetic loser.”

“Shut up.” You spat, “I know. I don’t care.”

“What’s the real deal with you and Luhan hyung anyway?” Baekhyun asked, his eyebrows huddled together. Yeah, he knew the answer yet he wanted to hear it straight from you. Who knows, if this Luhan was fond of telling tales.

“Ex-boyfriend.” You blurted. “Oh shoot. Did I just say… that?”

Baekhyun nodded.

“Urghhhh…” You growled, kicking your legs and slamming your arms wildly on the couch.

“So, it’s true?” Baekhyun snorted, “And hey, that’s not how you destroy the couch!”

“What’s true?” You stopped being hysterical. “Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. Let me count my laughs. I think those were three.”

“That you and Luhan hyung were in a relationship.” Baekhyun scoffed, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “Ah… since when did you learn to count? Should I give you an award for counting your laughs, huh?”

“Yeah. Were.” You mumbled, “How did you find out? Did Jongin tell you?”

“Nah…” Baekhyun shook his head, “Of course, Luhan hyung told me. I thought he’s lying and playing around because maybe he did like you and he wanted to get you from me because you’re my wife. But I guess, he wasn’t lying after all.”

“Tch… bastard.” You rolled your eyes.

Baekhyun smiled and reached his hand out to your tear-stained cheek. He rubbed his thumb harshly and pinched your left cheek, real hard, leaving a bright red mark.

“Awww… what the hell, Baekhyun!!!” You grimaced, trying to pry his hand off your cheek. “Why don’t you just pinch yours? Why mine? You ugly piece of duck!”

“I was just trying to cheer you up.” Baekhyun released your cheek and laughed dryly. “You really look uglier when you cry. If I didn’t know you, I’d probably think you’re a 60-year old e with a deformed face.”

“Eeesh! What do you think of yourself?” You shouted in rage, “Do you think you’re handsome?”

“Yes.” He smugly replied.

“Damn you.”

Your POV

I hate Luhan. Super duper mega ultra boomba hate! The hatred I felt for him when we broke up, multiplied into a gazillion fold! Why did he even bother to apologize to me?

I DIDN’T ASK FOR IT!

Now, Mr. Angel Lulu, you think we’re good now because you have apologized to me? Hahahaha. No. We’re more than enemies now. I hate you more and more and more. I can’t wait to see you suffering.

And also Baekhyun! This ugly piece of jerk who thinks he’s so handsome he can beat Won Bin. Ehem, Byun Baekhyun, before you hurt your pride, I suggest you back out now.

I’m still the handsome-st ever. I don’t care if I only made up that word. I don’t care. I’m more handsome than Won Bin, or anyone in the world.

HANDSOME LEE SOOJI OPPAR.

Not your oppar.

Oh foot, wait. I’m Byun Sooji.

“Yah! Are you alright?” Baekhyun gaped at me before he opened the front door to leave for his schedule. “You’ve been laughing like a drugged seagull for the past … twenty seven minutes?”

“Oh… was I? Bummer. I forgot to count my laughs.” I . I don’t know where I got the count-your-laughs pun but it’s really working with pissing off people. I tilted my head and examined his look, nodding my head subtly.

“Checking me out?” He smirked.

Hmm… maybe

“Come… come…” I motioned him to come forward.

“Tch… I knew it.” He cockily laughed and walked forward, closer to me. I nodded my head and examined him again. “I know I’m very handsome and gorgeous but please don’t check me out face to face. It creeps me out.”

“Done talking?” I raised my eyebrow. “You looked good from afar. Now… you’re far from looking good.”

Baekhyun leaned back and scoffed bitterly. HOHOHOHO. Take that, er.

“Of course I don’t look good.” He smirked and his heels. He fully opened the door, got out and before he slammed it close, he said, “I look best.”

“CONCEITED JERK! I HOPE YOU GET STUCK ON THE ELEVATOR WITH A DEVIL!” I yelled, hoping he could hear me. So conceited! Apart from Jongin, he’s the only conceited person I’ve ever met. He’s even more conceited compared to Jongin.

He’s not even as handsome as Luhan.

Wuuuut. Why that retard again?

Okay… maybe it’s about time I tell you about me and Luhan. I mean, it’s been a long time since we’ve been talking about this bastard and no one knows what really happened. You guys must be hating him like hell now but after you hear this story…

YOU’LL HATE HIM MORE! Please insert evil laugh from Gargamel and Yzma here.

How Luhan and I met…

10 years ago

I was shipped off to China that time. My dad had a business trip to China that time and I tagged along. Of course I was left alone in the hotel room with some bodyguards, I guess. Or maybe not because I was able to get out of the hotel room.

I was really bored. I wanted to play. I want a playmate.

Whenever I’m in the SM building, all the trainees there would play with me during their free time. Even those who have debuted too. But here in China, I’m so alone.

“Pfft…I should go back to Korea now.” I sighed, sitting on one of the grand staircase’s steps.

“Hi!!!!!!” Someone crouched in front of me. I looked up and saw this doe-eyed Chinese boy who’s probably years older than me. And then he started speaking to me in an unknown language.

I gaped at him. What was he talking about? I didn’t know. He kept babbling but I didn’t understand a single word.

“I don’t understand you.” I spoke softly, of course in Korean. His eyes lit up and he laughed.

“You’re Korean!!!” He chuckled, “I’m so sorry. I was speaking in Mandarin. I thought you were Chinese so I was worried when you weren’t replying. I almost thought you were mute.”

He can understand me?

PLAYMATE ALERT!

“I can speak.” I smiled. He took my hand and pulled me up but unfortunately, instead of pulling me up, I was dragged down to the next steps. Thank God, there were only a few steps before the floor but then I scraped my knee. And it’s all because of this Chinese boy’s fault.

“I’m so sorry, kiddo.” He bit his lips, kneeling down to check on my wound.”I didn’t mean to.”

I sniffed and felt hot tears coming out from my eyes. I’m wounded. UWAAAAAAAH! My flawless skin is now flawed!!!! My knee. My poor pretty knee.

“I’ll take you to my mom. She’ll know what to do.”

“My mom’s not here. So I’ll just clean the wound myself, okay?” He smiled at me, holding an alcohol bottle and a container of cotton. He asked me to sit down on the chair and I did.

I kept on crying, because my knee is wounded. I cannot accept this.

“This would probably hurt a bit.” He said as he soaked the cotton ball on alcohol. What’s going to hurt? Alcohol? How? Hahahahahahahaha! Alcohol feels cold on the hands, how would it hurt m—

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed as soon as the alcohol-soaked cotton ball made contact with my skin. It stings. It’s painful. So painful. I think I’m going to die. “AAHHHH STOP STOP STOP PLEAAAASE! PLEASE STOOOOOP.”

“Does is hurt?” He smirked and pressed the cotton ball harder, cleaning the blood. “It doesn’t, riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!”

“STOOOOOOOP.” I shut my eyes and kept on crying. “I hate you!”

So that’s how we met. We didn’t get each other’s names but after four years we met again when we saw each other in school. He was in his first year of high school and I was in seventh grade, together with Jongin.

How we both found out that we were the kids who met in China? Simple, he looked precisely like that doe-eyed Chinese jerk who wounded my knee and tortured me with alcohol.

I introduced him to Taemin and Jongin and because they’re guys, they clicked! And those two derps always wanted an older brother, so they easily accepted Luhan into the group.

The four of us became inseparable. We always hung out at Jongin’s house, especially me. Sometimes I even sleep over the Kim’s residence. However, despite our closeness, I never told them about my real identity.

All they knew was that I am Lee Sooji. Born on 1994. South-Korean. Period.

How I started liking Luhan…

3 years ago

He flashed a big bright smile in front of me.

SO STUPID!!!!

Okay, here’s the best part. Let’s just pretend that up to now I still like Luhan.

How I became Luhan’s girlfriend…

2 years ago

I was really popular in school. Yeah, very very popular. More popular than your EXO oppars. I was in my junior year of high school with Jongin. Taemin was in his senior year. And Luhan was in his first year in the university.

And because I was out of my mind. Duuuuun… get out of yer mind!!! I had my hair cut short. My hairstyle was the typical Korean guy hairstyle. Sunny’s The Boys hairstyle to be exact.

That caused the riot.

Not only boys fawned over me.

Even girls.

I’m not bragging off or anything, but it’s true. They thought I was some flower boy so they immediately had a crush on me. When they found out that I was a girl, it died down a little.

But never stopped.

“Sooji-oppaa!” They squealed.

EWWWW. CREEPY.

I was really creeped out that I wanted to transfer to another school. But I was like a lost puppy to Jongin. Wherever he was, you’d find me behind him. And he didn’t wanted to transfer, so I didn’t.

“That’s alright, Soojina!!!” Jongin chuckled, rubbing my back. “OPPA!”

“YAH!!! KIM JONGIN!” I slapped his arm.

“Dude, seriously, they’re probably suffering from glaucoma!” Taemin tutted, rolling his eyes. “You? Pretty? Handsome?? HELL NO.”

“Agreed!” The dark chocolate man inserted his hands in his pockets.

“Yah! Yah! Yah! Stop bullying our baby.” Luhan defended me. And I instantly blushed. Damn you, Luhan!

“Our baby? Or your baby?” Taemin guffawed. “Hyung, just confess already! Who knows, some of her classmates might be her boyfriend soon.”

“Or some of her fangirls!” Jongin seconded, high-fiving Taemin. “SOOJI OPPA!”

“GOO AWAY!!!” I growled, shoving Taemin and Jongin out of the practice room. “Eeeesh… stupid people.”

“I like you Sooji-ah…”

And I guess you know what happened next…

However, we weren’t that sweet sweet couple. You can call it below normal because it seemed like we weren’t in a relationship at all. Just best friends. But we went through dates and exchanged endearments with each other.

At first it was awkward because he is four years older than me. I’m pretty sure he felt like a e because he’s 20 and I was 16 that time. So I made sure not to make him feel that way. It was a secret relationship, a secret between me, Luhan, Jongin and Taemin.

We were really happy. As in, happy, happy! 

But our relationship was short-lived.

(Play!) How me and Luhan broke up…

It happened in a rainy night in October. He told me to meet him behind the SM building, where the back door was located. I thought he was going to tell me something important so I rushed to the location, not minding that I had neither umbrella nor raincoat.

“Yoo deer-p!” I greeted him and almost slipped when I accidentally stepped on a puddle of water.

“YAH! Be careful!” He held my wrist. “Are you alright?”

“No. I need to go to the hospital! My bones are broken and I can’t walk.” I sarcastically replied, “So… what are we going to talk about?”

He looked me in the eye and shook his head. “Why didn’t you bring an umbrella? Do you want to get sick?”

“I was in a hurry, stupid!” I rolled my eyes. “But yeah… if I get sick then I do have a legit reason for ditching school tomorrow.”

“Sooji…” He trailed off, his expression grew heavy.

“What?”

“L-le-let’s break up.” He said quickly and avoided my eyes.

I snorted and laughed. “Are you kidding? Ewww Luhan! Old-school prank. Doesn’t work with me.”

“I’m serious. Let’s break up, Sooji.” He said in a cold voice. The coldest voice I’ve ever heard from anyone. Even colder than the winter.

"You're kidding." I faked a laugh, covering my ears. I didn't want to hear more of this.

"Listen, Lee Sooji!" He pried my hands off my ears,“I don’t like you.”

“What?” My voice cracked. I had my face down, watching the puddle of water get mixed with the salty tears from my eyes. “B-but why? L-luhan what did I do wrong? Should I start initiate skinship? Should I be more caring or what? Lu… what did I do?”

“Nothing. I just don’t like you.” He still tried to avoid looking at me. “I lied when I said I liked you. I didn’t want to be your boyfriend. I just wanted to play around.”

“A-Are you serious…?”

I admit, I’m not the perfect girlfriend. I wasn’t the normal kind. It’s very hard for me to express my emotions so instead of doing it in a normal way, I do it my own way. I thought Luhan was okay with it. But maybe not.

Now that he wants to break up with me.

“….”

“MOTHER OF CHICKENS!” I yelled at him, “JUST TELL ME THE DAMN REASON! WHY??!?”

“I don’t like unfeminine and ugly girls.” He spoke with no emotion at all.”I just played with you, got it! What part of that could you not understand? You think you’re pretty just because your classmates liked you so much? Well, to me you’re the ugliest creature alive. I’m surprised that world hasn’t exiled you for being so ugly!”

Unfeminine and ugly girls?

I can accept that I’m unfeminine. But ugly? Screw you Luhan! I’m a girl! I’m sensitive, okay. Just damn you! Kill yourself.

I’m ugly??!?!?!

“Lu—” Before I could even call out for his name, I was left alone, soaking in the rain.

A/N: Okay!!! long dramatic chapter guys! Sorry it's long and full of drama eww! This is probably the last drama chapter! The next ones are FLUFF COMEDY TROLL VMOGMNOEGMOEMF :D And this is long because I have exams next week so I won't be updating!!! ^^ Wish me luck guys :)))) oh and let's just pretend lulu loser is bilingual since young XD

@Hismystericsmile: Wala. Di pa naman warfreak si Baekhyun. DI PA XD

@Tarsier: nakakaiyak kang bakla ka! T____T KA DIYAN! jusmeyooo! WEEE BAEKJI!! ang cute. Ay ano daw? UWI NA! jk. Hindi pwede kasi may Tarsier na! KAISOO! MAITIM AT MALAKI MATA :>

@Promi53ToB3li3v3: Sure ^^

@MsTrollolol: Sorry T___T Don't worry. You guys should ready new stomachs because I'll make them crack!  JOKE! Hmm... she didn't!

@sunflee_: HOHOHOHOHOHOHOIHJ baek to the rescue!!!

@pandagirl753: awww izzokay! what about now???

@ehminnie_18: LASING KA BA?! pmsl. awww gusto mo ng tissue na madumi na??!?!? yung naka kalat sa lapag ng banyo? :> lol

@lei-jjang: Yiiiie baek baek kumikidney care ang peg. I care you care we care kidney care ahahahahahaaha XD Shuuuuur!

@Vip0202: Weeeeeeeelp D:

@capitalHS: Don't die yet!!! But this chapter is drama :(( A few comedy on the side but.... monringrgiorng well hahahahha 

Oh yeah and peeps, this has been staying in my folder for God knows how long! I always forgot to post it up, so now I am! HOHOHOOHOHO

you can check the foreword page for the bigger version :D