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As the single tear rolled down his right cheek, he knew the answer to his own question. Hana doesn’t need to say anything. No clarifications were needed. With just her reactions, everything was crystal clear.

His lovely face contorted in pain as he spoke. “You do love him.” His heart was breaking into a tiny million pieces as he searched for her eyes. There was this tiny voice in his heart wishing that she’d deny it. Because if Hana will deny it, then Luhan might as well try to believe that she doesn’t really love him.

A simple ‘No’ from her would decrease the pain in his heart.

“What’s the big deal about that? Everyone has the right to love. Eventhough I seem to be perfect, I’m just a mere human too. Humans fall in love. Maybe I should also try it sometimes.” Hana tried to brush it off. She tried to make it seem as if it was nothing to her.

*She really loves him.* Luhan frowns. “But why him?” He couldn’t help but question her about why she chose to love someone like Kyungsoo. Eventhough Luhan doesn’t want to, he couldn’t help but compare himself with Kyungsoo. And he’d eventually come up with something like he was better than him.

Hana didn’t answer his question. She couldn’t find the right words to describe why her heart choose that certain wide eyed boy. Liking someone has no definite reason. But if he’s going to ask her the what she liked about Kyungsoo, a whole day wouldn’t be enough to number all of them out.

 “You’re my Hana. And I’m your Lulu. It should be like that. Hana it should be like that. There’s no more room for Kyungsoo.” Luhan tried to convince her.

“Kyungsoo.. he’s my Pororo.”

Luhan held her shoulders. Trying to get her attention. “Why are you being like this? I’m your fiancé! You should only look at me.”

Hana sighed. There was no way of telling Luhan the truth without him being hurt in the process. “I never agreed with the whole fiancé thing. You were the only one who wanted it. I thought if I would ignore it, then you’d finally stop.” She explained.

“I thought that as time flies, you’d learn how to love me. I thought you’ll be able to accept me. But I can still give you time. You can still learn how to love me.” Luhan tried to smile. “Your parents want me for you. And they know that I’m going to marry you. And I’m going to do that.”

“But I’m not going to marry you.” She mumbled silently. It was as if she didn’t want to say it. She didn’t want to. But she has to.

Luhan’s tears streamed down his eyes. His voice cracked as he spoke to her. “I… I’ve been by your side for years. I know your favorite food…. your favorite color…. the insects that you hate. I also know that you wanted to be a ninja before. I know everything. Hana, I’ve always been with you. Sticking so close to you. I’ve always been here. Waiting patiently for you. And him? It wasn’t even half a year. How could you forget about me and fall in love with him so easily?”

“Am I not good enough?”

“Just what is it that you like about him? Was it his eyes? Do you like guys with big eyes? Just tell me and I’ll go and have surgery on my eyes to make it bigger.”

“Or maybe because I’m too childish. Do you want me to change that? I can do it. I’d do anything for you. So please just give me a chance.”

She didn’t answer. She didn’t want to hurt him more. Luhan was someone special to her. He was special. He was more than a friend but less than a lover. Luhan was someone Hana should always look out for. That was who he was to her.

“Please ..like me instead.” Luhan begged as he hugged her as tight as he could, as if he never wants to let her go. Entrapping her fragile body inside his slender arms. “Please just choose me.” His tears, still pouring out from the corners of his eyes.

“Luhan you know I can’t ..do that.” Hana tried to find the right words as she slowly released herself from his hug.

Hana turned to face him. Her eyes stared at his. And she saw that he was in such a deep pain.“Let’s stop this. I don’t want you to get hurt Luhan.”

“But you’re already doing it. What if he doesn’t like you? Hana you’d get hurt! I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want you to cry. Just choose me. I won’t ever hurt you. You won’t cry if you’re with me.”

Hana slightly froze. He was right. *What if Kyungsoo doesn’t like me? In the first place, he likes Yoonjo. The Yoonjo which was the exact opposite of her.* Hana thought with a small sigh. Now that she thought about it, there was no way from him to like her. But that doesn’t stop her from loving him. “If that happens.. then.. it’ll happen.”

Luhan wiped his tears like a kid. His eyes were red and puffy. He turned to her with a brave look on his face. “This is not the end. I won’t give up. I’d still continue liking you. And I will always visit you. If I could, I would even build a tent outside your room so that I’m the first person you’ll see everyday. Maybe, just maybe you’ll start falling for me when that happens. I’ll only give up if you are married to him.” He told her. “I’ll still love you Hana.” He gave her a meek smile.

"Like before, you'll still be my number one."

…

Dinner. Hana sat across the long table. Alone. She had no one to eat with after all. All the maids and servants are strictly told not to eat unless she has finished eating. That’s how it was. That’s how things work in the mansion. It’s all about formality and stuff. The sad part is, since she went home, she hasn’t shared one meal with Kyungsoo yet.

Hana arranged the table napkin at her lap as she waited for her food to be served by Kyungsoo. He was her personal chef after all. A small smile appeared in her lips as the thought of seeing him for a longer period of time hit her.

Pacing steps arrived. That was none other than him. Hana thought in amusement. It was evident in his footsteps that he was rushing.

“I’m sorry it’s late. Did you wait long?” He asked her as he placed the contents of the tray he was carrying on the table.

Hana shook her head. “No. I’m not that hungry so it’s okay.”

Kyungsoo smiled. “That’s a relief.” He mumbled loud enough for her to hear as he arranged the setting of her food. “I prepared the carrot soup that you asked for. I hope you like it.”

Hana gazed at him as he prepares the soup she asked for. The truth is, she wasn’t hungry. She just wanted to see him. So she just asked him to prepare something easy. Just to have an excuse of seeing him. And as she gaze at him, she wondered, *I really wonder how you entered my heart. I didn’t even notice the existence of my own feelings. You just suddenly barged in and refused to go out. Rude.* She thought with a small pout.

Her eyes were still not leaving him. And she finally realized how familiar his shirt was. It was that shirt. That ing shirt which caused Luhan a terrible heartbreak. “Your shirt..” She pointed out.

Kyungsoo sheepishly smiled. “I decided to wear it today.”

“You look good.” Hana nodded. She wasn’t wrong. It really looked good on him. Just like how she imagined.

Kyungsoo blinked several times. “Did you just say that I---“

“I …I mean you look good because of the shirt. It’s the shirt.” Hana emphasized her lie as she stared at the shirt. And it reminds her of Luhan and what he had told her earlier.

What if he doesn’t like you? Hana you’d get hurt!

She stared at him for the nth time, watching his every move.

And for the first time in her life, she wished she could read minds. If she could only read what was going on inside of this guy’s mind then everything wouldn’t be as puzzling as it was right noq. Everything would be easy. But it wasn’t. She couldn’t read minds. She couldn’t even guess what he was thinking about.

Was it about school? His friends? or was it Yoonjo? She will never know unless she asks him.

And that’s when she found herself asking himself a question she should never have asked.

“Kyung, do you like me?”

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