Breathe in

Breathe out

In

Out….

That’s what Sungjong was thinking of as he listened to Myungsoo’s breathing. His head would rise and fall as Myungsoo’s chest did.

Myungsoo…

What was he to do about him? There was no doubt in Sungjong’s body that he was in love with Myungsoo. They things he felt with Myungsoo made him feel so alive, so wanted. It wasn’t like that with Sunggyu. Yes, He loved Sunggyu and yes at one point he was in love with him as well but the things he felt with him and the things he felt with Myungsoo were as different as day and night.

Sunggyu was the day that brought joy and laughter to him. His smile was as bright as the sun and his love as warm as a summer’s day.

Then there was Myungsoo, as cold and mysterious as the night. The sight of his intense stare sent shivers up Sungjongs spine like a cool night’s breeze.

The two were so different. A part of Sungjong wished he never met Myungsoo. It wishes that things could have stayed the same. It wishes that he said yes to Sunggyu’s marriage proposal and that they got married and lived happily ever after together like they should have. But then, there was another part of him that tells him that this was all meant to be. That he was meant to meet Myungsoo. That Sunggyu wasn’t meant for him as a lover. It tells him that Myungsoo is everything Sungjong has wanted and more. It tells Sungjong that he should be happy and that’s all that Sungjong wants at this point. He just wants to be happy. He wants to feel the kind of love that consumes you inside out. That makes your toes curl from happiness and Sungjong believes he’s ready for it. But then it comes. The Guilt, the self-hate and that’s what pulls him back. That’s what makes him tell Myungsoo no. That’s what makes him realize that he isn’t ready yet, that he isn’t deserving enough.

And that’s how he made up his mind. He needed to get away from it all. Away from everyone and everything that had thrown him into this spiral of confusion. He would leave. He would leave and think about everything that has happen and will happen. He will clear his head and most of all he will find a way to love himself once more because as they say, ‘How can you love another, when you can’t love yourself?’

So for himself and for Myungsoo he will leave. He will learn to love himself and accept everything that has happened. Then maybe he will comeback.

‘Yes’ Sungjong said to himself. He looked up to take one last look at Myungsoo’s face. He silently pulled himself out of Myungsoo’s embrace and placed one last sweet kiss on his lips.

“Goodbye” He whispered and left the room and the man that was most probably his soul mate behind.

------------------------------------------------

Myungsoo woke up to a feeling of emptiness. He slowly opened his eyes and was greeted with a dark cold room. The little pitter patter outside let Myungsoo know that it was raining. Myungsoo sighed and turned his head to face Sungjong. But… there was no Sungjong.

Myungsoo’s eyes widened and he quickly sat up. Fear began to creep up inside him. He rushed out of the room and down the stairs when a sudden sob stopped him in his tracks. He swallowed the large lump in his throat and followed the heartbreaking sobs.

There in the kitchen sat a heartbroken and crying Hoya with a teary eyed Woohyun next to him. A letter placed in each of their hands.

“Where’s Sungjong?” Myungsoo didn’t even recognize his own voice. It sounded way to groggy and scratched.

Hoya looked up as tears streamed down his face. “He, he l-left.” Hoya choked out.

The news was such a shock to Myungsoo that he fell to his knees. He stared at the two in disbelief.

“Wh-what?” He choked out. A gloomy looking Woohyun stood up and walked over to Myungsoo a closed envelope in his hand.

“This one’s for you.” He said with a hoarse voice.

Myungsoo stared down at the envelope and with a shaky hand took it.

With an uneven breathe he opened the letter and began to read.

Dear Myungsoo,

                Well as you’ve noticed by now I’ve left. It has nothing to do with you or Sunggyu or anyone else. I just needed to get away from everything. I’m not telling anyone where I am and I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone. I need time to heal by myself, I need to learn how to love myself once again and stop despising myself. I know it might be selfish of me to ask you this but I have to favors to ask you. The first, I ask if you could take care of my brother and Woohyun. Watch over them while I’m gone. I know Hoya is going to take the news bad and Woohyun will put up a strong front for him but deep down inside he’ll be breaking. Please watch over and help him.

My second favor is even more selfish and you have to promise to me that you’ll try to do it.

I ask that you try to forget about me. Try to move on and find someone new. You’re a handsome guy so I’m sure people will be lining up for you. :) I know that this will be asking a lot from you but still I ask you to do this.

Tell your sister and Kiki that I’ll miss them and now that I only want the best for you because.

I Love You.

Love, Sungjong

Myungsoo’s grip tightened and the paper in his hands began to crumple. Myungsoo was mad. He couldn’t believe Sungjong. He tells him he loves him and then he wants him to move on? Screw that. Myungsoo would keep the first favor but the second? Hell NO! He would never give up on Sungjong and he was determined to welcome him back with open arms when he returned no matter how long it took him.

Myungsoo wiped the tears away and stood up tall. He looked at Hoya who was still balling before he looked to Woohyun. He had been staring at Myungsoo the whole time. Myungsoo nodded and walked over to him gripping him into a tight hug and that was all it took before Woohyun broke down.

‘You better hurry your up Lee Sungjong, you have a whole bunch of people waiting on you.’

 :) ahhh I really love this chapter.