JINHAE

Lay and I sat on the grassy slope of the hill, facing west. As we watched the sun setting, making the sky turn a dark blue hue once more to give way to the night, we shared the sweets that his mother had sent from Hailesia, his hometown. He watched me as I took my first bite of the peach tart from the basket. I sunk my teeth into one of the crusty edges of the pastry, letting it fill my mouth. I chewed thoughtfully and one bite was all it took for me to realize what a good cook the mistress of the Healing Nobles was. Flavor just burst into my mouth and the pastry was perfect. I was at a loss for words as my eyes widened. I’ve never quite tasted anything like it before.

Lay tilted his head, his smile wavering as he eyed me with concern. “Do you find it to your liking or is it…” his voice trailed off. 

“Are you kidding me?” He was taken aback by that. Wiping off some of the crumbs around my mouth, I looked at him. “This is, by far, the best thing I’ve eaten in my life!” I told him and he chuckled in relief.

“It is?”

I nodded gladly at him. “It sure is,” I assured him with a full mouth. “I’ve never eaten anything this good even in the human world.” I took another bite.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said, taking one tart from the basket for himself.

I shook my head. “I don’t simply like it. I love it!”

“Mother would be happy to hear that.”

“Please, tell her. These tarts are the best. I wonder why they couldn’t make it this good where I come from.” I smiled. “Is this magic?”

He shook his head, looking affectionate. I’d bet he was thinking of his mom when he said, “No, it’s not. It’s just love and caring.”

I softened when he said that. “You must really love your mother, being sweet and caring,” I told him with a pang of envy.

Since I was little, I’ve always wanted a mother, our mother. When father told us that she was gone, I was really distraught. Shinhye handled the situation well compared to me. As she claimed during our birthday, we shouldn’t miss someone we’ve never met. “Life goes on. Just because they’re gone, it doesn’t mean you should stop striving,” she told me when she found me crying fourteen years ago. She was really smart, but hard-hearted even at a tender age. She was my twin, we shared the same face, but sometimes, it’s hard for me to believe that. Where I was weak, she was strong and the other way around, but she’s mostly the strong one. I envied and admired her at the same time, but I never resented her. We were twins because we complemented each other and we were perfect that way.

I saw Lay’s eyes twinkle for the first time. “You’re right. She’ll probably be the only woman I will love the way I do.”

Wow. The way he said the words rendered me speechless. He said it with such ardor that made me wish to have a son like him in the future. I diverted my gaze to the horizon, watching as the last rays of the sun disappeared from my sight. I found myself asking him this: “What is she like?”

I saw him lay down on the grass from my periphery, putting both of his hands under his head. He looked up at the sky longingly, but he looked blissful. He must miss her. “Mother…” He let out a quiet laugh, glanced at me then returned his gaze above us. “She could be the most understanding person I know, not only to me and my father, but to other people as well. She’s kind-hearted and never fails to smile. Seeing her that way was enough to make my days in Hailesia. She is and always will be my sunshine.”

“That’s really nice. She must really love you.” I glanced at him.

He grinned. “I know she does. You should meet her.”

I nodded. “I’m looking forward to that.”

“What about your mother? What is she like?” he asked me and I felt a nonexistent lump forming in my throat. Once again, the question why father left Elyxo with me and Shinhye without taking her pestered my mind. “Well?”

I lowered the tart I was currently nibbling on and stared at the grass. I looked at him then. “I don’t have one. I mean, I’ve never…” I sighed deeply. “I’ve never met my mother.” We never did.

“How can that be?” he asked innocently.

“It means what it means. I never saw her, much less meet her…ever.”

Lay got up then and I felt him giving me a light squeeze on the arm. “I’m sorry to hear that. I-I shouldn’t have asked…uh, I’m sorry, Jinhae.”

I waved him aside, chuckling. “What are you apologizing for? You didn’t know, besides, it’s fine.”

He seemed sadder than I was. I guess he could feel how I’m really feeling. I forgot that he had that ability. “You’re not sad?” he asked out of courtesy.

I nodded. I didn’t like lying to him. “Sometimes, I ask myself why. I sought for answers when I was in the human world. My understanding about the matter changed when I came here and learned the truth about my identity, so don’t worry about me. I think I understand now.”

“What was it like…living with the Lake Guardian without a mother?”

I giggled. “Normal.”

“Normal?” he repeated with inflection. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I stood up. “It’s pretty much as easy as breathing. He’s the dad, I’m the kid. He talks, I listen. Normal relationship, except that he discouraged my extra abilities,” I said without pause just like when I would talk to Shinhye.

Lay slightly shook his head. “You lost me there.”

I chuckled bitterly. “What I mean is that, I can’t lose what I never had. I never knew what a mother is until I started going to school when I was four, wondering why everyone else had that female counterpart of a father holding their hands as they walked while I didn’t. I was happy with my father.” Though I really wanted to sound happy, my words were at odds with it. I laughed. “Besides, Shin never failed to take the role of a mother. I missed her already.

Lay arched a brow at me. “Shin?”

“Yes. Shin as in short for Shinhye.”

“Who is Shin?” he asked.

“My sister,” I said then regretted it the moment it escaped my lips. I slipped again and in front of the same person. Gah! Stupid loose tongue!

He arched a brow at me. “You have a sister?”

I laughed nervously. “Well, yes, but she’s not really my sister.”

“That’s confusing.”

“I know. She’s my closest friend from the human world and she’s very mother-like. She takes care of me, too, like a sister. I really miss her already. I wonder when I’ll get to see her,” I said unstably. 

“I see,” Lay said and nodded. He smiled slightly. “Thank goodness for Shin then. Wouldn’t she be looking for you then?”

I nodded. “I’m sure she is.” And I can’t wait to see her. I laughed. “You should meet her.”

He joined in and laughed. “I must.”

I packed up and took the basket of tarts as I stood up. I looked at the rolling mountains at the distance. “We should get back, I think.” I grinned at him. “Dinner awaits.”

Lay arched a brow at me. “You’re still hungry?” He seemed incredulous.

“Well, yes,” I answered cautiously. “Why?”

He shook his head, but fought laughter. “Nothing.”

I pouted. “Tsk!”

Unable to hold it in, he burst into laughter. “You sure could eat.”

I glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I rolled my eyes then. “You shouldn’t comment about girls’ appetites either. They don’t like that.”

“No wonder I don’t have a girlfriend?” he surmised.

“Yeah! Right on!” I said, chastising him.

He stood up, dusting off his pants. He then ruffled my hair. “Let’s go.” He gave me a gentle shove and I saw a smile playing around his lips before I looked away.

I nodded. “Yeah. Let’s”.

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