I look at my phone once more to make sure I got the floor and room number correct that Jungkook sent me. He also gave me his brother's number in case I have any trouble finding my way around Busan but I still admittedly felt a bit awkward after our first meeting.

Keeping my eyes on each door, I jump when the one I was about to pass by opens and someone that I know walks out. It's Jungkook's father.

''Good morning.'' I greet him and when I straighten back up, there is a moment of confusion on his side. ''Uh, I'm Jungkook-Oppa's girlfriend...''

His face brightens up. It somehow feels like I'm looking at Jungkook. ''Ah, yes, of course. ________-ie, I remember. I was just taken aback.''

''Didn't Jungkook-Oppa tell you that I would be visiting?'' I glance at the door his father just came out of. Didn't they know?

''No, no, no, he told us. It's just been so long since I last saw you, I was surprised.'' He explains, smiling sheepishly.

''Ah, yes. It's been four years, that's only understandable.'' When Jungkook's family came to watch his musical, I had left before his father arrived. ''Is Jungkook's mother resting right now?''

He looks at the bouquet of flowers I was holding. ''No, she is wide awake thanks to a very important call. You can go on in, I'll be right back.''
I nod and wait for him to leave but he just looks at me with a smile. I give him a questioning look. ''You already dropped the formalities with my son?''

I did but did I just do so in front of his father? My eyes widen in horror.

Jungkook's father laughs, taking me off guard. ''I'm sure Jungkookie must be happy.'' Before I can get too confused about that, he gestures towards the door.
''Alright, you go on in. Jungkookie's mother can't wait to see you.'' He further ushers me towards it with a smile. Jungkook's family has such pretty smiles.

Taking a deep breath, I knock against the door a couple of time. My heartbeat quickens on its own accord. I didn't have the chance to get nervous before as I unexpectedly ran into his father but this time with his mother, I do. This is also my first official meeting with his family. Before it was always through coincidence.

A second later, I hear her soft voice, welcoming me to go in. Opening the door, I step in. "Good morning."

"Oh, ________-ie, you arrived already?" She asks. Every time I see her, I can't help but marvel at how youthful she looks. "Jungkookie's father just left."

"Yes, I know, I ran into him." Timid, I step over to her and notice that she had one ear phone put in. "Ah, I'm sorry, Jungkook's father told me you were on a very important phone call. Should I go back out again?"

"Oh, no, please, stay. The person I'm talking to can wait." She unplugs the cord from the tablet and I immediately hear the noise of the call. "They are busy right now, anyway."

"Ah, I understand." I say starting to become awkward but catch myself. "Ah, right. Oppa bought these for you, he told me they are your favorites."

"Omo, they are so pretty." She beams at the flowers as I hand them to her. "Such a lovely scent. Thank you, ________."

"You're welcome, I'm glad you like them." I put my bag down and glance around the hospital room. This room looks really welcoming. It feels warm for some reason.

''Did you get here easily?'' Jungkook's mother pats the empty spot next to her on the bed and I quickly go to her, taking the hand she offered.

''Yes, Jungkook-Oppa explained everything really well.'' I do wonder about the change in rooms though. ''Did you move into this room just today?''

''Yes,'' she looks at me with her big eyes, much like Jungkook's. ''How did you know?''

''Oh, Jungkook texted me another room number but thankfully just as I walked past his father walked out.''

''Ah, right. We totally forgot to tell Jungkookie.'' She frowns and rubs her head. ''Sorry, about that. If it wasn't for his dad, you would have had a hard time finding us.''

''Not at all,'' I assure her. ''I would have just gone to ask for your room number. Don't worry about it.''

Jungkook's mother smiles in that motherly way that says she knows I'm worried for her health. She pats my hand in hers. "You're such a good child. I hope Jungkookie learns a lot from you, he is still very pure."

''That's what I like about him.'' I share with a smile. ''That's what is special about him.''

''Still, sometimes I worry that he is too innocent for this world.'' I treasure her openly sharing her parental worries with me. But she really doesn't need to. Even if I said it and even if he appears so, Jungkook isn't really that pure. His intentions always are but it would be a lie if I said he didn't have to struggle and grow up in his own way.

''I probably shouldn't tell you this but Jungkook isn't that pure.'' I begin explaining but it doesn't sound right. ''What I mean is, he isn't naive, he has grown up to be very wise. He's learning every day and it's not only from me. His profession gives him a lot of space to grow as a person. I don't think I'm that much more experienced than him. Whenever I'm going through hard times, he is the one pulling me upright.'' I don't want to tell her in detail what he has to deal with. Her viewing Jungkook as pure and maybe naive only shows that she isn't too familiar with the more negative realm of his job.

She stares at me and gives me a suspicious look. Jungkook really takes after her. ''Are you sure about that? He never speaks wisely to me.''

I giggle quietly. ''Maybe he wants to stay pure to you since you're his mother.''

Her eyes actually widen for a second as if that made sense. But I was only joking. ''That could really be the case.''
I just smile. ''Jungkookie always does what I tell him to. I was teasing him about Hoseokie writing a song for his mother years ago. I told him I was envious.''

''Ah, so you think he wrote one for you because you said that years ago?'' That's really endearing.

''I was only joking back then, I never expected him to actually do it.'' She pulls on my hand a little. Now being able to speak with her more privately, I see she is very gentle in her actions. ''Through you I can see how well he has grown up.''

I focus on her, expecting her to say more but she doesn't. ''How?''

''You're his girlfriend. Even though we never talked for long, I think I know what kind of a person you are. He fell for you which tells me he himself appreciated the qualities you have. It makes a mother's heart settle to know that her son chose someone with these values because it only means he shares them.'' She gives me a thankful smile. ''I'm really happy that you came to visit me.''

Wow. A mother's words can give so much strength and it's not just any at that. It's Jungkook's mother.

I'm surprised to find myself getting emotional. When I look into her eyes, I can see the clear fondness in them. ''I wouldn't mind spending hours with you just talking. I think it's very important for you to know exactly who I am.''

''Don't be so hard on yourself.'' She surprises me by saying. ''The past is the past, I'm not that old fashioned. At the end of the day, the one who will spend the rest of his life with you is Jungkookie.''

I think her words through. She is telling me to focus my all on him. ''I understand.''

''I can see it, you two adore each other.'' She nods her head several times pensively. ''I'm glad Jungkookie heeded my advice.''

She is really cute. Jungkook must have gotten that trait from her. ''Thank you, we had to pass a few hurdles to get here. I'm thankful that he never gave up on me.''
It's probably a foolish thing to tell her how hard I made it for him again and again, but I wanted to be as honest as possible.

''Mhm, I told him to never give up.'' She reveals thoughtfully.

I stare at her. ''Really?''

''Yes, but it was just a little nudge for him to keep going.'' she squeezes my hand. ''You obviously still had feelings for him. You had your head on his shoulder. He just had to find the right time to ignite them.''

At first I frown but then I remember that incident. So, it was then. Then I laugh at her choice of words, remembering another incident. I wonder how much longer it would have taken us if I hadn't revealed my truthful thoughts while was drunk.

''Eomma."

I perk up, recognizing the voice. "You were on the phone with Jungkook?"

"Video call." She clarifies and turns the tablet my way for me to see. "He is at the music station."

There is a few seconds of delay and then he waves with a beaming smile. "Hi, Cutie."

In my head, I imagine myself hitting him for that.

''He calls you 'Cutie'?'' Jungkook's mother almost laughs.

''Yes,'' my shoulders slump. ''It's a little bit embarrassing...''

''Just call him Baby Teeth, we used to call him this until middle school and he hated it.''

I burst into giggles. ''Baby Teeth?''

''Eomma!'' Jungkook complains and I look at the tablet to see his affronted expression.

''Baby Teeth sounds cute.'' I comment and I'm sure he is glaring at me now.

''Not as cute as you.'' He says trying to divert the attention from his childhood nickname.

''Aih, so cheesy just like your dad.'' His mother says for me.

Jungkook just smiles, scratching his neck. "Where did Dad go to?"

"He went out to get coffee."

''Ah...'' Jungkook trails off and I watch him chew on his lips then he focuses back on us. ''Ah, ________-ie, did you have troubles finding the room? My brother texted me an hour ago that the room changed but I was busy recording.''

''It's ok, I ran into your father, so I found them with no problem.'' His mother pats my shoulder. I look at her but she shakes her head with a parental smile on her face.

She nods at the tablet. ''Our Jungkookie whenever I asked him if there was anyone he liked he would always shake his head without even a change in his expression but now that he has you, whenever we ask about you his face will become so bright.''

I imagine that in my head and grin myself.

''Just like this!'' His mother gestures at me. ''It's so cute.''

''I think so, too.'' I point at Jungkook on the screen who didn't look very pleased about us talking about him. ''Jungkookie is really adorable.''

Amused by my obvious teasing, she takes my hand. "I'm really happy to know he has you. He used to only look at his fans like that... Ah, seeing you two, I'm just really happy.''

I smile at her earnesty and tighten my hold around her hand.

There is a knock on the door before it opens and Jungkook's brother comes in.

"Hello." I stand up from the bed and bow. It might be because I'm so used to Jungkook's soft and gentle face but his brother appears almost intimidating.

"Hello, Jungkookie's girlfriend."

"Ah, Hyung, don't be like that, she has a name." So his brother still teases him by making it hard on me. Maybe he doesn't like me.

"That's right, Junghyun-ah, stop it. I don't see you bringing your girlfriend to see me." I watch mother scold her son. "At least our ________-ie has sense enough. Don't taunt her anymore or I'm throwing your car toys away."

"Ah, Eomma, don't be like that, I was just joking." Junghyun turns to look at me. "Right?"

"Yes, don't worry, Ahjumma. I'm not taking it to heart." I could see that she was getting a bit worked up over it and that's the last we wanted. "It's funny even."

"See, Eomma? ________ knows. So, please don't get upset." Now, he doesn't look intimidating anymore. I guess mother's are scary, even to their overgrown children.

She is still glaring at him, though. "And when are you bringing your girlfriend to see me?"

"Eomma," he whines and steps back. "I told you I don't have a girlfriend."

"Well, then it's time to get one, don't you think?" His whining had made her upset again.

"Ah, yes, yes, I will. There is someone I'm interested in actually." Junghyun says quickly.

"I hope it's true. I'm old now."

"I'm older." Jungkook's father juts in and we all look at the door to see he had come in while they were bantering. I wonder if Jungkook got his dorkiness from him.

"We're both old, which makes it time for our sons to get married, don't you think? And since Jungkookie's situation doesn't allow for it anytime soon, I think it should be Junghyun." My eyes move from Junghyun back to their mother and then to their father.

Then I look at the tablet at Jungkook, he had his lips pursed which means he is thinking hard. Maybe I should excuse myself while they have this family conversation.

''Eomma, you're not old at all. A lot of people think you're my sister.'' I keep my eyes on Jungkook to calculate my next move.

''Jungkookie... I'm not only talking about my age.'' His mother's face turns solemn. This is what she meant when she said he is still very pure.

Slowly, I sit back down on her bed and carefully take her hand. I might be overstepping my boundaries but I also didn't want them all to dwell on this for too long. "Ahjumma, don't worry about that now, the most important thing right now is for you to get healthy and for that to happen you have to be happy. No one is happy when their loved ones are sick, all your sons and husband can think about is you. I don't think anyone will want to get married." I lean back and smile, patting her hand. "So, if you want your sons to get married then focus on getting better first."

Her eyes are looking at me in that way that made me wish I had not spoken at all. This is family matter, I shouldn't have— "I can see why Jungkookie loves you so much."

"Huh?" I bring out, taken aback because she had said it to herself more.

She squeezes my hand. "So, all I have to do is get better and then the girls will flock my oldest son."

I laugh. "Yes, I hope so."

"Alright, then I will do as you say." She looks up at Junghyun then. "Please, also find someone that will make me smile when she smiles."

At first, I don't understand, or rather it didn't register because the words weren't directed at me but then my eyes widen as her words sink in.

"Yes, I will try." I peer behind me at Junghyun, he meets my eyes and slowly inclines his head. Did I just get his nod of approval?

"Hey, what about me?" His father once more joins in on the conversation, moving to the other side to take her hand and I stand up to let Junghyun through. "I make you happy, too, right?"

His mothers eyes slowly but dangerously trail over his face in a glare. "Did you go out to smoke or not?"

"Huh? What? No." Despite his words, he moves back. "I got coffee."

''Then why can I smell cigarettes on you?''

''Appa!'' Jungkook calls out in exasperation. ''You started smoking again?''

''No, no, I didn't.'' His father quickly denies.

''Dad...'' Jungkook sounds really upset but also speechless about that revelation.

''Ah, Jungkookie, I'm sure it was just a passerby who was smoking near Dad. You know how Dad likes to have his coffee outside when he needs to think.'' Junghyun says. I look at him. I didn't know him long enough to read if he was lying or telling the truth.

But then he shoots a meaningful look at his mother who also rushes to reassure Jungkook. ''Ah, yes, Jungkook-ah, I think I overreacted. It's not as strong as I believed.''

I frown now. Why are they trying to cover this from him?

''Really?'' Jungkook asks with suspicion but then sighs. ''Please, don't smoke again, Appa.''
Jungkook must really hate smoking and I don't think it stems from seeing my father suffering from lung cancer for the second time.
He looks up again this time trying for a smile. ''________-ie?''

''Hm?'' I move closer to the tablet so he can see me. ''What is it? Do you need me to do something?''

''No, no, I just wanted to see your face.'' His voice and his expression were a bit off. I'm sure he was worrying about his father's health now. Jungkook rolls his shoulders and then suddenly looks down at his feet. ''Oh, Bobo woke up.''

''Bobo?'' I move closer to the tablet. Jungkook reaches down and lifts up the pup for me to see. ''Omo, Bobo! Hi!''

''He was sleeping all this time but I guess he woke up after hearing your voice.''

I snicker. I think it's more that he felt Jungkook's emotions. Bobo does seem to cater towards people whenever he feels there are sad or stressed.

''Oh...'' Jungkook's brows pull together in a grimace. ''I have to go now.''

''Oh, ok...'' I find myself pouting. I really wish he was here. ''Don't think about anything too much, I'm here.''

"Ok." He says and I can see he does know. "Eomma, Appa, I'm hanging up now. Please, treat ________ well, especially you, Hyung."

"Ah, I will. Why do you all make me sound so scary?" Junghyun throws his hands up in exasperation.

Their mother looks at him like he should know. "Because you are. Your first meeting surely did not leave a good impression on _________."

"It didn't?" Junghyun looks at me in question.

I shrug sheepishly.

"See? You're scary." Junghyun looks at his father for his take.

"Yes, you are." I think he's just going to agree with whatever his wife says. How cute.

— — — — — 

With tired steps and even more tired eyes, I pull the hand carry behind me and stop in front of Jungkook's apartment.
I haven't seen Jungkook and Bobo in almost a week. After spending time and getting to know his family over the weekend, I had taken the train back to Seoul and departed to my work trip without even seeing them once. The trip ended up being more than just two days long. I missed my boys terribly.
I was never this attached to someone besides my family but even with my brother it was never like this. This is new for me. All I could think about most of the time was finally getting back home to where Jungkook would be. But they aren't even home, yet. Jungkook should be at a fansign right now.

Entering the apartment that has become my second home, I breathe in the familiar, comforting scent that is Jungkook. If only he was here already.
My heels click against the floor as I walk in further and have to grin when I see the new addition to our home. ''What the, so cute...''

Placed neatly in front of the step that separates the entrance from the rest of the apartment, were two pairs of home slippers. One smaller than the other. The smaller one was red and white and has a dog like Bobo printed on and the other one, the larger slipper had a print of a white dog. Cloud, I assume.

I actually got to meet Cloud too and Jungkook was right. He's getting old. I took a lot of photos with him for Jungkook to see.

Gaining strength already from this cute gesture, I step into the new slippers after taking off my heels and store them in the built in closet, then drag my suitcase into the bedroom.

I feel like collapsing on the floor. But instead of doing that I unpack and throw the clothes into the washer and do some laundry work.
Too lazy to shower, I get some clean clothes from Jungkook when I hear the front door opening.
Oh, oh. Bobo is going to do some serious damage to my legs. I quickly put on a pair of sweatpants over my skirt and walk out to meet them.

Bobo barks not expecting there to be someone already but when he sees me he skids across the floor overflowing with excitement and jumps up and down.

"Hey, Bobo!" I coo and he climbs my legs, scratching and panting, his tail wiggling back and forth. "Bobo, my baby! Did you miss me?"

He bites at my arm and I give it to him, knowing that this will call him down. He's not seriously hurting me anyway.

"Bobo-yah, be careful." Jungkook says after putting his shoes away. "I still need her intact for when I'm going to hug her."

I giggle and scoop Bobo up. "Have you been a good boy? Yeah?"

"He's been really good." Jungkook adds. "Except when he tried to escape the fitting room when someone opened the door."

"Aigoo, bad Bobo." Still I peck his head and then put him back down.

"Did you just arrive home?" Jungkook looks over his shoulder and in that moment I was tempted to jump on him to have him carry me.

"Yup," I follow him into his room instead and hug him from behind. He jokingly wiggles his back but I tighten my hold and make a sound of protest. He stops and continues to walk normally with me clinging to him like a monkey. ''I'm so tired...''

I pull back when he starts to turn. ''You're tired?''

''Hm.'' I see the bed behind him and then dive face first onto it, not moving an inch after that. ''Good night.''

Jungkook chuckles lowly and the next thing I feel is him lying down on top of my back like he weighted nothing. But he actually is really heavy.

''Uff.'' I groan when he lets his weight sink in for a split second before bracing himself again. ''You're heavy, get off.''

He rolls himself off of me with a snicker and I roll away from him grabbing the big plushie. I hug it to me and close my eyes. Give me one minute and I'm out. Even though I'm not physically in contact with Jungkook, I can feel his energy. I feel complete again.

Almost succumbing to sleep, I am still able to feel Jungkook tugging on my skirt partially sticking out from the sweatpants. ''Did you put these one because you heard Bobo?''

''Hm.'' I murmur my confirmation but then slap his hand away when he pokes my stomach in a ticklish way.

"Want to shower together?" Jungkook asks out of nowhere.

My stomach fills with butterflies. I lower the plush and meet his bright eyes. "You missed me that much?"

"Every second."

I stare at him. "I don't think I can shower."

''Why?'' I sit up and he does too.

''I'm too exhausted.'' I reach behind me and massage my neck.

"You can take a bath." Jungkook shoos my hand away and kneads my knots for me. ''And I can give you a full body massage afterwards.''

I snort and snicker at the same time. ''.''

''This time, I really didn't think about that.''

''Oh, really?'' I look behind me and he nods genuinely. ''Oh, sorry.''

He just smiles, his strong fingers spreading over my shoulders and even though I'm too ticklish to let anyone massage me, I let him do it for a few minutes until I squirm and yelp myself away from him, moving to the floor to avoid him.

''Ya, you really can't take massaging.'' Jungkook chuckles, crunching up his nose cutely.

''I really can't.'' I stand up and stretch. ''But I do feel better now.''

''That's why I love getting massages after concerts.'' He squeezes his shoulders as if he would really much like one right now.

That makes me remember. ''Ah, I bought something from Japan.''

''What is it?'' He asks cutely. I noticed that his voice always become especially soft at night.

I skip to my opened suitcase trying to locate it. Once I do, I raise it above my head in victory. ''Massaging oil!''

''Why are you so happy? You don't even like massages.''

I glance at Jungkook. While I had searched for the bottle, he had changed positions and was now on his stomach, his head braced by his arms, watching me. ''But you like them. I bought it with you in mind. Want to try now?''

I stand up excited to have him smell it but when I begin pushing up my sleeves he stops me. ''Wait, not now, maybe later.'' He sits up and pats the spot next to him.

Doing as instructed, I wait for him to speak. It must be important for him to not take me up on my services.

''My mother called just before I got off the car.''

My hearts drops for some reason. ''Is she ok?''

Jungkook looks at me and for a long nerve wrecking moment I expect the worst. But as he smiles, I sigh in relief. ''She is perfect. Thanks to you. She really likes you, ________. The whole ride home all she gushed about was you.''

''Oh, really?'' Is all I manage to bring out as I look at my lap.

''She says she can see why I consider you my other half already.'' Jungkook nudges my side which makes me even more flustered. ''She would love for you to visit her more.''

''Really?'' I beam at him and when he nods I smile even wider. ''I really like your mother. It's like I'm talking to you but just a girl version. I feel like I can tell her everything.''

Upon hearing my words, he pouts though. ''Can't you just talk to me about everything?''

I stare at him being precious. ''Do you really want to know everything? I don't think you can take everything...''

''I already know about your period, what do you think I can't take?'' I force back my smile when I hear the challenge in his voice. ''No, for real, what else could there be?''

At his affronted expression, I snicker and hug him from the side. ''Nothing. I'll tell you everything from now on.''

He gives me a straight look, glaring at me. ''Don't be cute.''

I gasp and pull away, putting a hand to my heart. ''You don't like me being cute?'' Pretending to be heartbroken, I stand up and mock sob. ''For once I'm actually trying to be cute and I get rejected.''

''Ah ya...'' Jungkook whines and pulls on my hand until I'm standing in front of him. ''I was joking.''

''I don't believe you.'' I pout at him and go to move back again.

''Ah,'' now it's his turn to be cute. He wraps his arms around legs. ''What I meant is that you shouldn't try to be even cuter than you are because I'm going to get a heart attack.''
I breathe out. Jungkook and his words. Knowing very well that I could never stay angry at him, he starts to smile. I slap his shoulder.
He stares up at me. "Have you eaten, yet?" Just then my stomach growls giving him the answer. "You have to eat."

"I know." He stands up and takes my hand.

"There is a little place nearby that makes the most delicious food." We begin to walk to the front front then he stops and looks at me.

''What?'' I ask him.

He looks down at me and when I still don't get it, he hooks two fingers into the sweatpants and much like I had done, pulls back and slaps it against my bunched up skirt.

I punch him, seeing his amused grin. He rubs the spot while I kick off the pants that I totally forgot about.

"But we have to walk a little." Jungkook says as an afterthought as we go to the shoe and jacket closet.

"Ok." Walking with him is ok. But then I remember how I had only brought my heels for the trip.

"What? Why that look?"

I look at him with pain in my eyes. "I don't have other shoes."

He looks at my feet then around the floor and then at the closet. "Heels?"

"Mhm." I hum and run my finger through my hair. "I guess if it's not far..."

Jungkook turns and opens the closet and I go to take out my shoes when he stops me by my arm. "Wait… I think... these should be fine." And then he brings out a pair of new sneakers that look too big for me but also too small for him.

"Hm?" I look at him, confused. "Did you have someone else live in here?"

"No, an overseas fan mixed up the sizes I think, so it's too small for me." I take the sneakers from him and stare at them. "I'll get you some socks."

"But… they're your fan's."

"It's ok." Jungkook pats my head as he passes me. "It's just once."
Still uncertain if I should be wearing the fan's gift, I stare them a bit more until he comes back with a pair of black socks.
"Aren't you cold?" He suddenly says. He's looking at my skirt.

I look down too. "I wasn't out much."

He grunts. I shrug and put on the socks before slipping into the shoes, tightening the strings as much as possible.
"What about Bobo?" I glance around the apartment. Without the fence, he might tear things apart.

"He comes with us." Jungkook secures the collar and leash and waits for me. Joining him at the door, I smile when he scoops him up like an infant. He grins at me. "First family dinner, huh."

My grin matches his. Yeah. Family.



— — —
IM BACK! IM BACK! IM SO SORRY! BUT IM BACK! BUSY ME IS BACK T.T

because I've been gone for so long I don't know what to talk about haha..... ah the vlives.... sigh Jungkook always turns on the stream whenever I don't have my phone with me... but anyway I didn't miss much, he was so cuuuuuute and he played we don't talk anymore when I commented ;;;
he was so cute with Jimin too Im just going to drown in them feels right now... lately I've been really feeling the Kook feels hehe just in time for the concert WHICH IS IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS SAY WHUUUUUT I WAS SO BUSY I REALLY TOTALLY DIDN'T THINK ABOUT HOW CLOSE IT IS AKSJDLASKDJALSKDJALSDASD

jungkookies hair is back to dark and even though i'm the biggest light hair kookie enthusiast, I have to admit I've been missing his darker hair ^^ so pretty

voting for the bbmas is soon too and after reading bang pds interview I really really reaaaaally want to get them to get the invite ;;;; YOOOO WE WON THE SHORTY AWARDS YOOOOOOOOOOO!

I've been trying to catch a mosquito for the last 10 minutes.... its very big orz I'm scared for my blood.... I just lost it again *screamssss* bye gotta catch a bich

[almost half a day later] this was supposed to be up yesterday already but I think I accidently clicked on 'Hide Chapter' orz so... you couldn't view it.... sorry my bad! thanks again to the ones on tumblr that kindly let me know <3