"Bobo," I clap my hands to try and get his attention. "Bobo, over here."

With his tongue out, the red ball of fluffy Shiba runs my way with a toy in his mouth.

"Good boy." Taking the toy from him I fling it across the park making him run for it. We repeat this a few more times and a while later he's returning by himself without me having to call out for him. "Good job, Bobo."

"Want to go into the water?" I pretend to throw the toy at the fountain and laugh when he actually starts running only to stop short and pant at me. "Dummy."

Bobo turns with excitement as well as impatience and jumps to get to the toy.

''You're not tall enough? What do we do, huh?'' I grin at him. ''Alright, alright... One, two, three, go!''

~ ~ ~

"Aigoo, you're so exhausted, aren't you?" I pet Bobo's head on our way back, carrying him in my arms, as he is a puppy. "Next time, let's not stay out so long."

Bobo lifts his head to my chin, making me grimace. "No, Bobo, stop it."

Feeling much better after this outing with Bobo, I jog the rest of the way back to my apartment and slow down when I see a familiar figure standing in the lobby.

"Oppa." I halt in front of Sungmin. We hadn't spoken ever since that day and I had ignored his calls. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you have time to take a walk?"

I'd honestly rather spend some time with Bobo as I have been neglecting him the last few days but I guess this is inevitable. "Wait for me here, I have to take care of Bobo. I won't be long."

Sungmin nods and I make my way up to my apartment and make sure that Bobo has enough water and food.
"Sorry, Bobo, I haven't been a good Mommy lately." I ruffle his head as he eats away. "I'll be quick."

Reluctant, I meet Sungmin downstairs and we start walking to the nearest park, both us of quiet. "I'm sorry." We say at the same time and laugh.

I look at him. "I'm sorry, Oppa. I wasn't in the best of mood that day, and I took it out on you."

"No, I went too far, I know that now." He shakes his head. "Snooping around was the wrong thing to do and I should have trusted you."

"Let's just say that both of us did something that we shouldn't have." I put it simply. "And now let's forget about it, it's not important anyway."

Sungmin glances my way and chuckles. "You know Noona scolded me."

"What? She did? Why?"

"Because she asked about you and I told her that I upset you." He laughs at the memory. "I don't think I've been scolded ever since I moved out. This is the first time."

"It's good to be scolded once in a while, it grounds you."

"Then what about you, who does that for you?"

"I scold myself plenty and then there are my friends who do the job just fine." Lee had literally scolded me for not telling her about the proposal surprise. "My friends are getting married."

"Really, wow, congratulations. Makes me feel like such a failure."

"Same." I look up at the sky.

"Ya, I know I've said it many times, but it think we're very compatible."

"Shut up." I hit him while laughing, because he will never stop. "You just continue going on your blind dates while I stay with Bobo."

"I don't understand how you can keep resisting me."

I groan. "You sound like my best friend."

"What? Why would I sound like her?"

I look at him. "The other male best friend."

"Oh, well, then." Sungmin says. "Is he handsome?"

I roll my eyes but can't help and smile. This is easy. This is something I know how to deal with.

— — —

''Hachooh!''

"That's the third time." My brother sitting in front of me notes with a slight frown.

"Yeah, I've been feeling under the weather lately." I smile weakly. "I'm fighting it diligently."

"You should take a leave, ________-ah." His thinner face frowns disapprovingly. "Everything ok out there? Money, apartment, car?"

"Yes, don't worry. The money you left me, I haven't even touched it. Living alone isn't that expensive, you know."

"That's what worries me." His hand clenches. "I really hate to see you by yourself, look how thin you've gotten."

I put my hand on his. "Oppa, I'm doing great by myself and I haven't changed one bit stop imagining things."

"________-ie, don't hesitate to ask Sungmin or even Jieun for help." I didn't need it but still I nod reassuringly. His nature of overthinking and being overly worried is still intact, but it's good to see him doing well.

My brother had finished his military training a while ago. Usually we'd go out strolling around the compound for the visitors but it was raining, so we stayed in.

After a few minutes he looks at the clock. "It's time for me to go."

I breathe in deeply. It doesn't get any easier. "Take care, Oppa."

"I will, you too." He says staying strong for both of us because he knew that if he breaks that I will too. "Don't forget to buy the flowers."

"I won't, I'll show you photos next time."

"I love you, little flower."

"Love you too, Oppa." He never fails to make me feel like a child again.

He puts his arms around me and hugs me tight. "See you in a few weeks."

"Ok." I say, feeling stuffy

Pulling away, we go our separate ways, me back to my ordinary life and he to serve his country.

~ ~ ~

An hour later, I find myself standing in front of my mother's tombstone.

I stare at it for a long time, soaking in the photo of her. Her face, her eyes, her lips, needing to remember her, because over time it has become so easy to just forget.
Sometimes, I panic when I realize that her image, the memory of her, was getting fainter and fainter. Those are the times, when I take out all the photos that I have and go through them one by one, until I'm sure of every detail on her face. 
Today is no different, I stare at the photo until I'm sure I'll remember it even in my sleep.

I don't say anything, not knowing what to tell her. Every year it's the same. It doesn't get any easier. There are just more things that keep me from remembering how I basically don't have any parent.

This year is the first year for me to do this alone and that makes it even harder. For the first time standing here by myself, I realize just how lonely it is.

I bend over to lay down the bouquet of orchids and wipe away the rain drops staining the glass over her photo. "I love you, Eomma. I'll be back soon with Oppa."
I adjust the umbrella over me and sniff. "Next time, I might bring Bobo."

Taking a moment to gather my emotions I take a deep breath and straighten back up. "I miss you, Eomma."
My throat thickens as I try to hold back the tears. "I miss you so much." And then it just all comes up in floods. "I wish you could meet the people that I love. I wish I could take you to the places that I love. I would take you everywhere you desire, Eomma."
I'm crying now. "I wish I could tell you about my struggles, I wish you were here. I want to hug you. I miss you so much."

I take in a shaky breath and jump when I hear my name being spoken from behind me. I wipe my tears away before turning around. He is here.

"What are you doing here?" I say harshly, my emotions overflowing. "You don't deserve to be near Mom. I already told you that."

"________-ie."

"Stop that!" I shout. "Don't call me that. I already told you that I want nothing to do with you."

My father standing there in front of me takes a step closer making me stagger back in sudden fear. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apologies neither do I need them. Just leave me alone, leave Mom alone and stop trying to visit Oppa." I bite sharply. I had been told that someone else has been trying to visit my brother. It can only be him. "You've done enough to ruin us."

"I'm sorry." He repeats and tries to take another step toward me but I hold my hand out.

"I don't care that you're my father, I will call the police." I resort to begging when he still doesn't leave. "Please, you've already hurt us enough. I beg you, just leave us alone."

"I'm sorry." My father finally takes a step back but looks at me with resolve. "But I will never give up." Then he turns and leaves, his words hanging in the air making me shiver as the rain continues to pour down on us.

His retreating back does nothing to reassure me because as he said he will keep trying to contact me even going as far as to track me down just like now.
He is my father but he is also the person who broke us, something that I can never forget neither will I ever forgive.

* * * * * *

"Ah, so nervous, so nervous." Seungkwan jumps up and down. "My parents are coming that makes it even more nerve-wrecking."
Jungkook's parents and even his brother are coming too for their first night on stage. To say that he is nervous is an understatement. But he always is.

They enter the auditorium following a few of the staff and managing directors. Soojung, the head manager was barking orders at the staff and Jungkook wonders if maybe the artists shouldn't be here just yet, giving them more space to do their work.

A few of the artists already walk down the steps to the audience seats so Jungkook follows them with Seungkwan in tow.
For a few minutes they just chat aimlessly to get rid of the nerves and when he turns to ask Seungkwan something, he finds him standing in front of someone who was seated a little bit further away.

Seungkwan waves his hand in front of the person's face but they don't give any kind of reaction. The next thing he does though seems to work as the person opens their eyes and only then does Jungkook realize that it is ________.

She is dressed in dark, dull colors, covered from head to toe, face covered by a black mask. She moves to hit Seungkwan as she stands up.

It's been the weekend and he hadn't seen her since that night and although it was dark, he could tell that she was exhausted. Her movements were slower.

"It's your day off but you're here? Are you crazy?" They were close enough for him to hear now but Jungkook had to strain.

"I'm here for you, of course." She's being playful but something wasn't right, he just doesn't know what. "It's the big night. How do you feel?"

"Nervous. At least I have a small role, now Jungkook-Hyung on the other hand, I'd be wetting my pants."

"Well, then, I think we're all lucky that you aren't playing the lead role." This time she pats his arm teasingly. "You still have a long way to go."

"Yeah, yeah." Seungkwan looks at the stage. "Will you be staying for the show?"

"I didn't—" she turns away to sneeze. "Excuse me."

"Are you ok?" Jungkook frowns because she hadn't been sick the other day.

"Yeah, just a little bit of a cold. Nothing big." So, that's why she's wearing the masks. She looks over Seungkwan's shoulder and removes her mask. "I'll be right back."

She's not wearing any make-up and even though he doesn't really see a big difference, he notices how she was looking sallow and he has a feeling that it isn't only because of her sickness.
Jungkook couldn't stop himself from keeping an eye on her, his worry deepening when she starts to cough.

* * * * * *

"Eonni." I smile weakly and tap Soojung's shoulder.

"Ya, ________-ah, I thought you took the day off." Soojung pulls me into her arms without warning. "You look terrible."

"Thank you." I say sarcastically. "But I agree."

"You're sick, you should be home resting." Her disapproving look makes me smile.

"I don't want to be alone." I say truthfully earning me a worried look. "My father came."

"What?" Soojung almost yells. "Where?"

"The cemetery."

"Did he do anything?"

I shake my head and sigh deeply. "No, I told him to leave and after a while he did."

"I'm sorry, ________-ie." She embraces me again. "I wish it was all different."

"Me too." So much.

"How is your brother?" Soojung takes my hand and leads me back down to the seats farthest away from all people.

"He's doing well." I sink into the seat like I have been for the last hour before I got woken up by Seungkwan who pulled out my headphones. ''He will be out for his break soon.''

"Do you want me to stay over tonight?" She was still holding my hand but I shake my head and squeeze back. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, thank you, though. I appreciate it." Even though I'd rather continue sitting here, I start to get hungry. "Have you had breakfast, yet?"

"Please, don't tell me you haven't had breakfast."

"Ok, I won't tell you."

I laugh as Soojung slaps my arm softly. "Go, eat, you little rascal."

"Do you want anything?" I stand up and put on my mask again. "I think I will be going to the cafe across from here."

"No, you go ahead." Together we walk over to the exit. "I'll be here the entire day if you need me."

"I probably will be stalking you the entire time."

"Go ahead." She flings her hair back dramatically. "I'm not so perfect for no reason."

"Oh lord." I joke and give her a quick hug before leaving.

Since it was raining lightly only, I don't bother getting the umbrella from my car and run to the cafe across from the theater. 
Grabbing myself a full meal for takeaway, I go back to the building and somehow I end looking like a drenched cat.

I decide to check up on some work and walk to my classroom. I was munching on my sandwich when I hear a knock. "Ahjumma." I place the food down and stand up as she enters.

"I came to see how you were doing."

"I should feel blessed. So many people are looking after me."

"Of course, we all love you." Ahjumma beckons her head. "Walk with me?"

"Sure." I grab my food and follow her.

"I just want to check up on the kids." It takes me a second to understand that she was talking about the artists. "Also, I wanted to ask you about Hongbin."
Taken aback by the mention of him, I end up choking and coughing. "What, you like him that much?"

"No!" I cover my mouth. "I mean, no. I don't know him, yet."

"The weird thing is, he seems to like you a lot." That means they must have talked after our first meeting. "I'm sorry that I just let him take you away like that."

"It's ok." It's not like Hongbin physically pulled me away. "Are you very close?"

"His mother was my schoolmate. Hongbin is an heir." Ah. Good to know. "Their family owns the art management firm that we are thinking of working with for Japan." That means there is a high chance that I will have to meet him again.
We arrive at the door to the auditorium but she stops me when I go to open the door. "If he bothers you in any way, let me know. I'll talk to his mother."

"I thought you wanted me to get to know him." I open the door for her. "Why suddenly..."

"I just didn't like the way he talked about you." She touches my arm. "He's not exactly known to be a gentlemen."

"Ah." I walk in after her and instantly spot a familiar figure. "Don't worry, I'm not interest."

"Sadly, I don't think that matters." Ahjumma probably hadn't meant for me to hear it but I did. "Ah, sorry, today really isn't the day to unsettle you more."

Too late. "He's not going to somehow force me, right?"

"No, no. It's just he's known to be very persuasive." She pats my back reassuringly. "I will talk to him."

"If you want. You don't have to if it makes things difficult for you."

"I'll do anything for you." She puts a hand against my face and frowns. "Why is your hair wet?"

"The rain..." I say sheepishly and comb my hands though it. "It will dry it."
She can only shake her head disapprovingly. "Ahjumma, I saw a friend, if you will excuse me."

"Hey, you're not supposed to be here." She grabs my hand before I can escape. "You should be home and take the day off."

"I already did," a few hours but who cared about the details. "I'd rather stay here. At least I won't be alone."

I follow Lee as she disappears into the back rooms. "Don't work, ok? Stay here but if I see you work, then..."

"I understand." I smile and tell her that I'll see her later and rush to where Lee went to. To my luck or lack of, the doors are all closed and for some reason there were no name tags on the walls.

Knocking on the first door, it doesn't open at all. The second one, a female staff opens it to reveal Yein and a few other female artist getting their make-up and hair set. "Oh, hello."

"Hello." I stay just shy of the entrance and bow. "Good luck on your first day. Fighting."

"Thank you." They all say and I leave feeling awkward somehow because I was closer to the guys than I was with the girls.

"Ya, Lee, where the hell are—" my words get stuck in my throat when the next door opens as Jungkook walks out.

"You're looking for Lee?" Compared to me, he doesn't seem to be surprised to see me. "She's in here."
He holds the door open for me as I nod my head stiffly and walk in to find Seungkwan pulling up his shirt.

Immediately, I squeeze my eyes close and turn around. "Oh my god, I think I'm blind."

"What?" I hear his confused voice. "Ya, are you insulting me?"

"Do you feel like I have reason to insult you?" I say like a smart . "Is there anything about you that you think I can insul—?" That's all I manage to say before two arms wrap around me to hoist me up.

"I'm holding coffee, be careful." I keep the cup far away from me as Lee hauls me further into the room. When I open my eyes, I can just see Jungkook closing the door, the amused smile and shaking head visible.

"I still haven't properly murdered you from keeping the proposal from me."

"Not this again." Groaning turns into grunting as she plops me down on the leather couch. "You already said 'yes'."

"You could have warned me, do you know how ugly I looked after that?" I roll my eyes at her exaggeration. "Don't laugh at me, I was a mess."

"I won't but no one saw anyway and I'm not saying that you did look like one." I lean my head back, feeling tired. ''You should be beyond happy.''

"I am... Why do you look so..." Lee takes a second to take me in and then her eyes widen. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I forgot about...."
The handful of Coordis don't seem to mind me being in here and Seungkwan had gone off somewhere else.

"It's ok, don't worry about it." Sitting herself down on the space next to me, I instantly lean my head on her shoulder. "You shoulder isn't exactly comfy, Lee."

"Well, I am sorry that my shoulder doesn't reach your standards." My lids shut as I breathe out a low laugh. 
"You look terrible." I must really look it then if two people told me already. "Do you want me to put some make-up on for you?"

I shake my head, keeping my eyes closed. "No, I don't feel like looking pretty today." The door opens. It must be Seungkwan.

"I said you look terrible not that you aren't pretty." Her hand smooths over my hair. "You're always pretty."

"Shut up." I murmur so only she can hear. "I know I look like a zombie."

"A very pretty zombie." When she pats my knee, I open my lids slightly. "I have to go back to work."

"Alright." I remove my head from her shoulder. "Do you think people would mind if I just continue to hibernate here?"

"I don't think people even know that you shouldn't be here." Lee stands up and smiles sadly. "Do you want me to come over tonight?"

"And have Joon knock on my door in the middle of the night?" I wiggle my index finger. "No, thank you."

"Why did I say 'yes'?"

I shrug and grimace at the idea of being married to Joon. "Only you know the answer, Lee, only you."
I'm about to lean my head back again when she turns and points her finger at me. "What?"

"You, blow dry, hair. Now." I stare at her and blink trying not to laugh. "I mean it, go."

"Yes, Ma'am." Reluctantly, I pull myself up and feel for my phone. Right, I left it in my bag. "I'll be right back."

I make my way to my classroom to shut down the laptop after saving everything and gathering my things to review later.
Locking the door, I take the elevator back down and walk to the right fitting room, knocking before going in, this time with my eyes covered.

"I thought you're already blind."

Glaring at Seungkwan, I walk past him.

"What happened to you?" His eyes are on my hair. I must look like a mess. "Did you walk through a car wash."
I grunt but do not give him the satisfaction of responding and walk over to the empty vanity from before.
"Why are you still here?'' Seungkwan braces his hand on the table while skimming through the paper. Since he probably won't understand a thing, I don't bother covering up the information. "You should really rest."

"Because I missed you." I deadpan with no ounce of truth at all. "Now leave me alone, I have things to do."

He mutters something under his breath and if I tried I probably would have caught that but I'm way too tired for that. "You look like a corpse by the way."

"Hm, I know." I know I'm not exactly conversational but I don't have the energy left to make the effort.

"Are you ok?" Concern lace his words. "You seem off."

"I'm just tired." I sit up straighter to look at him with a thankful smile. "Don't worry."

"I'm not." Seungkwan says quickly, as if the idea was terrifying.

"Then, leave me alone." I wave him away and when he does I sag back down.

From the corner of my eye I see the reflection of Lee approaching me. "Now." She places down a blow dryer.

"It's already dry." Almost. When I glance up at her, I sigh seeing her expression that does not allow any arguing. "So bossy."

"It's payback for not telling me beforehand." One side of my mouth lifts at that. She'll never let it go.

Shrugging of my coat, I then start drying my hair messily, not caring at all that I was creating something that resembles a bird's nest on my head.
I continue to read the papers but for some reason everything vanishes as soon as I was done reading. So instead of wasting time and energy, I close the file and concentrate on drying my hair.

Great. Now, I look like a crazy zombie.

Appearing out of nowhere again, Lee hands me a brush and somehow all the attention or rather all the being taken care of makes me a little bit embarrassed.

After fixing my hair, I stand up and stretch my arms holding back a yawn. Only then do I notice the other side of the room which was partially shielded by a handful of vanities. I must be really tired for me to only notice that now.

Shaking my head, I walk over to the couch and sit down, wrapping my arms around myself and crossing my legs.
The soft music playing in the background makes me sleepy and it takes me longer than usual to realize that it is the instrumental of one of their pieces. It's almost causing me to fall asleep but no matter how I position my head it's never enough to stop it from rolling off.

I don't know how much time passes but eventually I can't differ between reality and dream. That's probably why I don't intercept when someone sits down next me, a hand pressing my head in their direction to their shoulder.

Its not Lee's but I fall asleep before I can figure out whose it is or maybe I'm just in denial because I don't want to admit just how nice it feels for him to be so close.

I'm a hypocrite, I know.

* * * * * *

There is a knock on the door. Jungkook looks up from his phone. Some staff opens it and someone he hasn't seen in a while steps in holding a familiar red puppy.
Jungkook would have stood up to greet Joon but ________ had her head on his shoulder and was sleeping peacefully, so he nods instead as Joon does the same.

Joon doesn't seem surprised to see them together like that and judging by Bobo, Lee must have informed him beforehand.
Jungkook's eyes trail down to her. Her breathing is steady and quiet, ever so slightly parted. He wonders if she would mind once she wakes up to find herself in this position. In her sleep she had angled her body slightly towards him.

The entire time he had kept an eye on her and Jungkook had a feeling that she didn't even know he was in the room.
She's usually someone who takes in her surroundings immediately which can only mean that whatever it is that's been bothering her has been weighting her down physically and emotionally.

Sounds of metal clicking against metal makes Jungkook glance away from her. Bobo is slowly making his way around the dressing room, sniffling here and there until he stops in front of them, his eyes shining. 
Jungkook would have carried Bobo up, but that would wake her. Patting his own knee, he hopes that Bobo is able to jump up himself and after a few tries Bobo is up on his lap, his tail wiggling excitedly. It doesn't seem like Bobo is an active dog, as he instantly lays down, his eyes on her.

"Your Mommy isn't feeling well, Bobo-yah." Bobo raises his head while Jungkook pets his back. "Didn't I tell you to take care of her the last time?"
The only response Bobo gives is to climb up Jungkook's chest to his chin. ''Yes, I like you too but I'm wearing make-up.''

The red puppy settles down and proceeds to climb over both of their legs to lay his head on her thigh.

"Yeah," Jungkook says more to himself than the dog. "She is the best."

After a few minutes of him just idling there almost falling asleep himself, there is another round of knocks. This time it opens from the outside, again someone who he hasn't seen in a while. Jungkook waits until they're inside to call out for them. "Eomma, Hyung."

Both their heads move in his direction on the couch and then towards ________. Jungkook's focus is on his mother, awaiting her reaction and to his surprise recognition flashes in her eyes after a few seconds.

"Ya, Jungkookie, you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend." His brother walks closer and takes a look at her face.

"It's because I don't." He's surprised that she hadn't woken up yet from the noise. "You're earlier than I thought."

"We were worried about traffic, I hope you don't mind. Your dad is on his way, too."

Jungkook holds his hand out for his mother to take. She sits down next to him. "Of course not, Eomma."

When his brother sits down next to ________, Jungkook can't help but glare at him but his brother doesn't notice and starts petting Bobo instead. 
"Are you nervous?" His mother smooths her hand down the back of his head.

"Not really." And he's taken aback to find that he really isn't anymore. He had been before. In hopes to shake them off he had stepped out of the room to take a walk and when that didn't help he had come back. Maybe it's her presence. "Eomma, have you eaten, yet?"

She shakes her head no.

"You should, the musical is long. I'll take you, it's across the street."

"How?" Instead of being offended, his mother's eyes are amused and caring as they land on ________. "You stay with her, I'll manage just fine with your brother."

Jungkook, too, glances down at her. "She isn't feeling well, Eomma." He could feel his brother's eyes on him, probably because he had never seen Jungkook behave so caring with a girl besides their mother.

"Then you should take better care of her, Son."

His head lifts at her choice of words. "But we're not—" He starts to repeat but his mother pats his knee with an encouraging smile.

"A man never gives up." And with these meaningful words, his mother stands up, his brother doing the same. "We'll be back before the show starts."

Still hung up on his mother's words, Jungkook nods absentmindedly. He doesn't even notice them closing the door but instead his eyes are focused on the sleeping beauty next to him again.

A man never gives up.



— — —
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEARRRRRR!!!!! If you happen to celebrate it I hope you get a lot of red pockets bc god knows we need them haha 

I woke up really early yesterday but even at 3am I will still editing some next chapters and I was just really on a roll last night, and I did not feel tired at all, I actually fell asleep at 5am all the while humming Ailee's and Soyou's Goblin OST, heeeeeelp me I have an earworm again.... but the songs are really nice no wonder it's still topping the charts.

The boys are having a break yaaaay and Namjoon again teased for their album saying how 'crazy' it will be and I would just really like to know what they call WINGS album in comparision to YNWA.... is it like FIRE and Baepsae combined or like..... I just don't know what to expect aklsjdaklsd BANGTAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!

.....btw Bobo in this story used to be a white puppy but then after my sister got a Shiba last year, Bobo is now a red puppy.... I wonder if I changed that in the first few parts.... I can't remember..... I should probably check...

....also anyone else that sang Lovelyz song? hihi