My lids are heavy as I try to wake up from a very deep sleep. My head feels like cement. The blanket is heavy as I push myself up and rub the sleep away but my vision is anything but steady. I groan and hold my head in place. I shall never drink again.

I stiffen when I realize I'm not in my own room and try to think back to what happened last night.
Sitting up, I take in the clean cut, monotone furniture. It's kept simple yet there was a sense of warmth.
It smells familiar. It takes me a moment to place the scent and that's when a few memories bubble up. I groan in embarrassment and fall back into the bed.

I stay like that in hopes that it will turn into a dream. I hear voices as my head throbs.
Slowly, sitting back up, I drag the duvet aside with effort and blink when I see my bare legs. Then I remember how I had dragged the shirt over my head with heavy arms and kicked the jeans off my legs and felt too tired to try and put the sweatpants on. At least I had the mind to put the sweater on.

Before I can suffocate in shame, I reach over and quickly slip into the pants neatly folded on the desk. I notice the light on the floor. Did Jungkook keep it on for me?

My heart about melts at his thoughtfulness.

I look around some more and see the photo frame next to the bed. It's his family. Aside from that, he doesn't seem to decorate much.

Walking over to the table, I lift my clothes and smell the alcohol on them. Did I really lie down on his bed with these? What else had I done? I really don't want to know.

Hesitant to face reality, I move to the door and open it slowly. The voices get louder as I only open it enough for one eye to look through. Is that Jimin's voice?

Opening it wider, I spot Jungkook and Jimin sitting on the kitchen table. What do I do know? I can't just barge in. I really don't want to barge in. Can the ground just swallow me up now, please?

Just when I focus again, Jimin looks in my direction. I gasp and pull the door shut. I stay frozen. What the hell am I doing acting like a child?

I turn around and move back to the bed, ruffling up my hair, losing my mind over my behavior.

My attention spikes when I hear the door behind me opening. I look over my shoulder shyly and deja vu strikes.

I close my eyes at the memory of myself calling him 'Mr. Handsome'. For real? What's wrong with me?

''How are you feeling?'' Jungkook's voice is soft as he closes the door behind him.

My shoulders slump as I peek at him. ''Embarrassed...''

He smiles and comes closer. I watch him. What else had happened yesterday?

I look up when he puts his hand under my chin and just stares into my eyes, like he does best. I remember our kiss and blush. His smile widens. ''You really are embarrassed.''

I pout and nudge him away. ''I told you I am.''

Cocking his head to the side in a cute way, Jungkook then puts his arms around me. I stay still at his embrace but soon wrap my arms around him, too.
Closing my eyes, I breathe in slowly. He smells so clean. Hugging him is so healing. It feels so warm inside.

"Does your hand still hurt a lot?"

I test it against his back and wince a little. "Yeah."

"Do you need to get it re-bandaged at the hospital?" I shake my head. ''Do you have plans today?''

I look up at him. ''No, why?''

''I have a schedule today and I would like you to come with me.''

My brows pull close in confusion. ''Come with you?''

''Yes. We have quite a few things talk about, don't we?'' He's speaking in a careful, soothing manner. It 's almost like he doesn't want me to run away. I nod and to my surprise he smiles in relief. ''So, that means you're not pushing me away anymore?''

I glance at him. Instead of the hope that I had expected to see in his eyes, I see vulnerability. I shake my head, slowly. ''No more pushing.''

There is a knock on the bedroom door. ''Jungkook-ah, I'm going now.''

''Hm.'' Is all Jungkook answers and I can't help it, I whack his arm. ''Hyung, hold on!''

When he takes my hand and begins to pull me over, I protest. I had only meant for him to show Jimin on his way out, not for him to take me with him. ''Wait, not me.''

''Why?'' He asks amused. ''Don't be ashamed.''

But I am. He lifts his brows reassuringly and begrudgingly I follow him. I stay behind Jungkook as he steps out of the bedroom and see Jimin standing with his phone in hand in the corridor.

''Oh, ________, hi.'' Jimin smiles boyishly.

''Hello.'' I say timidly and bow.

''I have to go now but I'm sure I will see you later.'' Jimin nods at Jungkook. ''And before I forget, you've become even more pretty.''

''Ah, thank you.'' I lower my head bashfully. ''Eh, Jimin-ssi, too...''

''You don't have to compliment him back.'' Jungkook cuts in cheekily.

''Aish, little rascal.'' Jimin raises his fist and glares at Jungkook. ''If I didn't have to leave now, I would be beating you up.... and I already put my shoes on.''

I giggle quietly. They are still the same dorks. I feel a hand behind my back and look up at Jungkook. He's smiling at me.

''I should just go.'' Jimin says from the door and opens it. ''It's good to see you again, ________. Jungkookie has been moping around because he misses you.''

''Ah... has he?''

''Yeah, he has been sooooo—''

Jungkook cuts in by walking to Jimin who grins mischievously and escapes out of the door. I let out the small laugh.
''I should have never let him in.'' Jungkook says as he walks back to me.

''Why did he come?''

''He does that sometimes. He lives in the complex across from here.'' He stops in front of me. ''I have to go to the company first.''
I wait for him to continue. I already agreed to go with him today. But he doesn't, instead he bends down to my eye level. ''Why are you so cute today?''

Cute? I look at him. Something happens in my head and then I grimace as the memory slams into me. I groan and pretend to cry, putting a hand over my face.

''What is it?'' He is amused.

''I just remembered the spider.'' The more I think about it the funnier it gets. I begin to laugh at myself. ''Ah, I'm going crazy.''

''It was pretty funny,'' I feel his hand on my head. I look up, sulking. ''Not to mention cute.''

''I'm never drinking ever again.''

''I think that's a good idea.'' He begins walking into his room, I follow him. ''Do you want something warmer to wear?''

''Mhm...'' I think of my reeking clothes. ''Yes, please.''

Together we walk to his closet and I watch him as he searches his wardrobe. "They're probably all too big for you."

"That's ok.'' I yawn and notice the messiness. I make his bed quickly.

''Black? It's the only thing I have that could relatively fit you.'' I move next to him. He hands me a thin cotton sweater.

''How is the weather today?'' I hold it to myself to see if I could wear this as a dress. I faintly remember pouring alcohol on my jeans.

"Jimin-Hyung said it's sunny out, not as cold as yesterday."

''Do you think, I could wear this only?''

''You're asking me?''

I look up to see him leaning against the closet, amused. ''Yeah, I'm sure you've noticed that I make poor clothing choices.''

''I might have.'' He says vaguely and pats the side of my head briefly. ''You'll be inside most of the time, so I guess it will be fine. I'll wait outside for you.''

''Hm.''

He closes the door behind himself.

Aside from the initial embarrassment and urge to hide, I realize how comfortable I felt with him and how easy things can be. As always I just make things harder for myself than they have to be.
Jungkook has become an even more affectionate person and there was no doubt that it would affect me.

Still, there are things we need to talk about. No avoiding no more.

~ ~ ~

Jungkook tells me to wait for him to open the door for me once he had parked inside the company's parking garage.
I accept his hand and carefully step down his car with my heels, wishing that I had worn other shoes.

"Your jacket?" He gestures towards the back of the car where I had put it.

"No, I think I'm going to be fine." I adjust the shoulder of his sweater that I had tugged into my jeans. After more consideration, I had gone against wearing the sweater as a dress. It's not a look for me with heels. "The weather really is so much nicer. It's weird."

"Maybe the sun is shining because of you." I'm about to whack his arm when I spot a few people walking past our car. "Oh, that's Jin-Hyung."

Somehow I'm more nervous about meeting s than meeting anyone else, because more than anything they've always been like his family and even though they used to like me that might not be the case anymore.

Jungkook nudges my arm gently. "Don't worry, they already know."

"Who said I was worrying?" The fact that he could read me so well was kind of offending me. "I'm fine."

"Ah, is that so?" He raises an eyebrow. "Jin-Hyung!"

"Ya!" I start to panic but it's too late. Seokjin had already turned and was waiting for us.

I glance at him and bow. "Hello."

"Hi, ________." His eyes shift to Jungkook briefly. "I see Jungkookie is finally revealing you to us."

Not knowing what exactly he meant, I just nod and smile awkwardly. "Yes."

Jin beckons for us to start walking again and while we do someone else joins us and I can see the curious glances in my direction. I nod my head politely and try not to look suspicious of being Jungkook's— what am I?

My gaze is kept on the ground, careful not to trip over anything invisible in my heels, so I wouldn't make even more of a fool out myself than I already did the day before.

From the corner of my eye, I see his fingers twitching out of the norm. I look at his face to see if maybe he wasn't feeling well but he is still talking to Jin and the other guy.
When I check his hand, it's still twitching in a deliberate way. Realization hits slowly but I'm not sure if this is truly his intent.

Very slowly, I slip my hand into his, almost in hope that if he looks at me in surprise I'll be able to play it off.
To the contrary though, his hand tightens around mine in an instant, pulling me close to his side, so there is no doubt.
Isn't this the first time for us to hold hands like that? Even though I already knows how his hands feels against mine this feels... different.

That of course draws the attention of the guy but it isn't until we arrive in front of the elevator that he speaks up.
"What a charming couple." The guy says nonchalantly in an amused kind of way. "I'm kind of jealous."

"You're married, Hyung."

"Still, I'm jealous." For the first time, I think, the guy looks at me directly, making me feel self conscious. "She's very pretty."

Taken a back, I incline my head in bashfulness and inch a little bit behind Jungkook when the guy continues to stare at me.

"Hyung, if you continue to look at my girlfriend like that, I can't guarantee your safety."
I zone out for the guy's reply because my head was still very much stuck on Jungkook's words. Girlfriend. Am I?

Even though I had felt surprised at first, my heart feels good right now. I feel happy.
Of course, my mind decides to think of Yein right then and there, making me anxious but for some reason that's it. It fades as soon as it came.
Frowning at myself, some distant memory tries to push itself to the front, something that concerned her but I can't reach it quite yet.
I realize something very important that I should have thought of from the very beginning, but I was always too self absorbed. Jungkook is not like that. Even if I'm someone who can't keep the boundaries, Jungkook would never hurt his significant other in that way.

While we were waiting for the elevator, I hear people lining up behind us, making me feel even more aware and conscious of basically everything.
If seems to me as if our joined hands are a beacon. At least it feels like that.

Seokjin is the first one to step in when the empty lift arrives followed by Jungkook who was positioning me in the very back corner. Fortunately, it's not as many people as I had suspected it to be.

I was watching the doors slide close, still feeling suspicious and wary of elevators after my second blackout when Jungkook turns so he is facing me.

I send him a 'what' through my eyes. He responds with a 'nothing' accompanied by a slow shake of his head.

Jungkook is scanning my expression and I'm sure he can read the nervousness off of it. He smiles in reassurance, raising his eyebrows. Seeing his dimple appear, I lift my finger to his face and tap it.
For no reason at all, I mimic what he's doing and it turns into a battle of eyebrow raises. I put a fist over my mouth when I want to snicker.

Affection clear in his eyes, he places a hand against my forearm "How's your head?"

"My head?" There is nothing wrong with it.

"Do you feel nauseous? Have a headache?"

I shake my head and look over his shoulder as the door opens. "I'm curious to see how your company looks like now."

"Mhm, it's just bigger, nothing special to be honest." I laugh under my breath when he truly sounds like his company isn't anything special.
We wait till everyone is out first before we move along.

Seokjin slows down to walk next to Jungkook. "I heard today's breakfast is especially bought for ________."

"Me?" I ask astounded. "Did you already know I was coming?"

"We didn't know," Jin elaborates while glancing at Jungkook. "But someone was hoping."

"Ah...'' So he did think there was a chance I would refuse.

"Before we go in there," Jungkook stops suddenly. "I want to show you something."

"Oh, ok." I wave towards Seokjin before Jungkook grabs my hand, leading me away. "What is it that you want to show me?''

"Nothing really," Jungkook admits looking over his shoulder sheepishly." I just wanted a moment alone."
I smile shyly. He has become very vocal. More than me.

"What do you remember about last night?" Jungkook puts a hand between the two closing doors of the elevator and lets me enter first.

''Uh, I remember only a few things of what happened in your bedroom but not much else.'' I rake my brain for more. ''How did I end up with you? I remember I was drinking with Lee.''

''Joon called me to take you home. He had to take Lee home because she drank too much.''

''Why didn't you?''

He moves back a little, defensive. ''Don't look at me like that. I wanted to. You told me that you changed your code and spurred some random numbers.''
I look at him blankly. What? He watches me. ''You didn't?''

''… No.''

He ankles his head and sighs. ''Ya, if I didn't know you, I would think you did it on purpose.''

''It's good then that you know me.'' I say dryly and get a pat against the back of my head.

The elevator stops at our destination and Jungkook takes my hand again.

''Oppa,'' he looks at me. ''Do you know if Joon took Bobo?'' I had been feeling terrible already for neglecting him and even though there are Lee and Joon that take him for a few hours because he loves to play with their cat so much, I still felt irresponsible as a pet owner

''Yes, he got him last night already.'' I can only feel a bit of relief. ''If you miss him, you can bring him later.''

''Even to your schedule?''

''Yeah, I'm actually only having an outdoor concert again. I've seen artists bring their pets, so I don't see why you can't.''

We turn a corner and stop in front of one of many doors. I smile at the tag next to the door.

'PRODUCER: JEON JUNGKOOK'

Is it weird that I feel proud?

I make a sound of impressiveness and nudge his side. "Sounds so manly."

"I know, right?" He wiggles his eyebrows and unlocks the door. ''It hasn't been long since I started producing songs but the management still decided to use that.''

After switching on the lights I step into his personal studio. It's decorated with things that he likes. More than his own apartment, I notice. It's dark, the walls, and has a very clean, masculine scent, which is probably just him.

"I like the scent in here." Once I reach the middle, I turn around. "You must still be sensitive to scents."

Closing the door, Jungkook motions for me to take a seat in one of the chairs. "I think you're the one who is more sensitive now."

"How do you know?" I cross my legs and look at the things that he had put on his office desk. One of them is his monster figure, it has changed but still looks really cute.

"You always comment on my scent."

I glance at him, opposing. "When did I ever?"

"Last night."

"I was drunk that doesn't count." I try to ignore his smirk but fail. The butterflies have a mind of their own.

"You called me Kookie Bear." Shocked, I look at him again. "You also gave me a back hug and slipped your hands under my sweatshirt because you were cold."

My jaw drops at my own shameless actions. "W-What did you say?"

"I'm saying you did things that made me flustered, which doesn't happen often." Jungkook smiles though and tabs my nose. "It was cute. Are you always like that when you're drunk?"

Sheepish, I avoid his gaze, feeling another wave of embarrassment. "No, I usually sleep through."

"I hope so, because you pulled me into bed with you." My eyes find him in a flash. How much more humiliating can it get?

''Oh my god.'' I groan and put my forehead on the table. ''I lost my mind.''

"Ah, you're too adorable." The emphasis he put on 'too' makes me look up. He does know he is 'too' cute himself, right?

Suddenly, Jungkook pulls my chair so close to the point that my knees bump against his chair.
Has he always been so initiative? Yes, we have grown but in my eyes Jungkook has always been the cute type. Manly and cute. What a deadly combination.

"What do you want?" I say and glare at his smug smile. "Go away."

I can see the sparkles in his eyes very clearly. Why is he so handsome?
"Just one more thing." I sigh and think what I could have done now. I try to maintain a straight face. "You mentioned Yein."

Slowly, I peer at him.

"Did you think this whole time that I was dating her?"

His unwavering gaze makes me nervous. "I wasn't sure but I thought that maybe you were starting to be."

"Was that the reason why?" He didn't have to say or elaborate.

"Hm, at first it was but then..." I sigh and purse my lips. "Then it was something else."

He looks like he's deep in thought. "My fans?"

"Yeah, your fans." Talking about this now, it makes my heart feel heavy, worry of the unknown was creeping in. "But I'll have to go through it, for you. No more regrets, right? Didn't we waste a lot of time in the past because of that?"

Jungkook's mouth presses together in a soft smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I'll protect you this time." When I just stare at him, he takes my hand. "I'm serious, I'll be glued to your side this time."

"Oh no." I say in horror to lift the mood. "Please no."

"What, why?" He appears to be offended, taking it the wrong way. "You don't like seeing me?"

"That's not it, Oppa." I put a little bit of honey in my tone to charm him. "It's just seeing you once a week like we did was enough to make my heart go crazy. I'm worried about the outcome if I see you all the time."

He blinks, silent, and then his smile returns. "How can you say these things suddenly? I thought you really didn't like seeing me all the time."

"I don't think that will ever happen, sadly." I murmur but obviously he hears. He drags me even closer if possible. "I'm joking, of course, don't tickle me, please."

"I won't tickle you." Smile transforming into a smirk, I can already tell what he's thinking about before he even says it. "I just want to look at you."

Oh. For a second I thought he would say that he wants to kiss me. Guess not.

''Remember what I said in the elevator?'' He must mean the time we kissed. I nod. ''You have me. Whatever happens from now on, I hope you know you can always lean on me.''

Such sweet words. Words that I never thought I needed to hear. I take his hand into mine. ''It goes both ways, Oppa. I know you are strong but you don't always have to be and when that time comes, I will hold some of your weight.''

Jungkook gazes at me prettily and in that moment I fall even more. His smile is so breathtaking. ''Ya, I have the most loving girlfriend ever.''

I see that he was seeking for confirmation on my side. He shouldn't have to do everything. I squeeze his hand. ''Of course, what else did you expect.''

His smile is brighter than I've ever seen it and it's contagious, my own heart feels like it's going to burst into fireworks.
He begin to leans in and I do, too. But just before our lips can meet my phone rings.

We freeze, both of us opening our eyes. Ok, too close. Jungkook squeezes his eyes tight in disappointment and moves back. ''What gives? Even now, your phone has the worst timing.''

I snicker. That's true. My phone always rang whenever we were about to kiss.

I caress his jaw briefly and search for my phone inside my bag. It's the same number as the call I got during lunch yesterday. The hospital. My heart drops as I automatically expect the worst.

"Who is it?"

"The hospital." I explain before accepting the call. I listen intently and breathe out in relief when I'm told that my father is fine and that his condition is stable now. They're calling because they need me to come in and sign some paperwork that I hadn't yesterday because I had told them that I needed some time.
Isn't it strange to hear a daughter needing to take some time to figure out whether to help their father or not?

Now in retrospect, I feel ashamed but he had just left us...

I finish the call and sit there in a daze. My eyes meet Jungkook's worried one. ''Your father has to undergo surgery?''

I nod and run my fingers through my hair. ''I need to go, sign some papers. I won't be having breakfast with you, sorry. But I'll come find you as soon as I'm done."

"Its alright, don't worry." Jungkook joins me as I stand up. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'll be fine," I hesitate a second feeling shy to ask. "A hug would be nice though."

"Ah, my services are needed, finally." I giggle as he opens his arms widely. I accept it gladly and let his everything surround me.

"Are you sure you don't wear cologne?" I murmur with my face on his shoulder. "You always smell nice."

"I wear cologne just not today." His voice next to my ear tickles. "You should use my fabric softener if you like it so much."

"But then it won't be anything special anymore." I pull away.

I don't want to go to the hospital and have the risk of walking into my father. How do I face him? I still resented him for the things he did but he is family and he is hurting.

''You can do this.'' Jungkook says giving me strength. ''I believe in you.''

I look up at him. He exists so brightly, so beautifully.

"Call me when you're done, we should be at the salon by then." His smile is sweet.

"I will," but then I remember. "I don't have your phone number, Oppa."

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. "I called you last night, but you declined."

''Oh... sorry.'' What else did I do?

''Cutie, you don't have to apologize.'' He turns me around and shocks me by patting my lightly. ''Take my car."

"Your car?" I say with a hint of hesitation. "I could wreck it."

"No, you won't. I don't want you wandering around by foot. I can't drive it anyway, I'll be in the van."

"Alright." I step away to get my bag. "I don't think this will take long."

"I'll be waiting for your call." He shoves his hand into his pockets to give me the car keys. ''Drive safely.''

"I will." I smile and go to open the door but then look at him sheepishly. "How do I get to your car?"

Jungkook smiles also amused and puts his hand on my shoulder. "What would you be doing without me?"

Without him? I wouldn't feel as free.



— — —.
aljdaldjasjdladkalsjdasdjasd JUNGKOOKS CONFESSION TO ARMYS ASL;DASDASDASD guuuuuys ever since I first heard crushs beautiful I've been imagining JK singing it and now that he did aaaaaaah I'm kinda crying ;;;;;;;;;; his voice is so beautiful aack thank you so much Nochu <3

MY BB IS GRADUATING TOMORROWWWWW AAAAAAAAH hahaha I'm more excited than I was about mine..... I feel so motherly right now orz seeing the pics of his first school day at sopa when he looked like such a cutie with the other bts members makes me emo..... he's grown sooo weeeeeeell TTTTTT I'm so prouuuuuuud of him huehue kookie don't grow up too fast pls (even though I'm only 20 myself I feel so much older hahaha)

ALSO GUYS 3 NEW TRACKS AND FULL WINGS VERSION AAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAH I'm actually screaming hehe next is the mv teaser and ugh I always love the mv teaser version IM SO EXCITEEEEED