"It hurts. "N chokes,his tears start spilling unwillingly. 

"H-Hakyeon--what? "Leo starts panicking. "Are you crying? Why are you crying? "

N doesn't answer and instead, he just cries louder, letting more of the warm liquid drop onto Leo's hand. 

"Hakyeon--"

"Is everything alright? "the taxi driver suddenly interrupts, obviously having heard N's cries. 

Leo glance at the older man, whom he's somehow forgotten about his presence before glancing at the still sleeping Hyuk beside the driver. "F-fine. We're fine. "He blurts out even though he's unsure himself. He just want to focus on N at the moment and he doesn't want anyone interrupting them. 

The driver, having sense Leo's irritation at him, chose to just nod and continues driving, picking up some speed. 

"Tell me what's wrong. Please. "Leo begs as he struggles to get hold of N once more but the leader still won't say anything . "Are you hurt somewhere? Please don't scare me like this, Hakyeon. Please. "

N sniffles loudly before finally speaking up in a muffled nasal voice. "Back at the hospital... "he starts,pulling away his leg from Leo's touch and hugging himself. "... you said things... to me. "

"Things? "Leo wonders, frowning. "What things? "

N laughs bitterly. "Of course... you don't remember. "He says dejectedly, pressing his body against the door of the taxi when Leo scoots closer to him.

"I'm sorry I don't remember. "Leo says guiltily. He knows that if N still remember the thing that he said to him months ago, that thing must be something really impactful. "But can't you tell me? "He pleads. 

N sobs. "That thing you said to me... hurts more than you neglecting me. Hurts more than you pushing me away physically. "he hints but not really telling Leo his real meaning. 

"I really can't remember, Hakyeon . "Leo has to admit. 

N grips his shirt tightly, he finds it hard to talk about the thing that he dreads. "You said you're happy that I was admitted to the hospital. You said that you're glad you don't have to hear my annoying voice that morning. You... "

"Hakyeon, I--"

"... you basically called me an attention . "

"W-what?! "Leo can't believe his ears because as much as he can remember, he has never once called N like that. 

"You mocked me. You said that by staying at the hospital, I'll get all the attention I wanted since attention is the thing that I craved. "N says quietly and once he finished, he looks away from Leo. 

Leo is speechless. He couldn't find any words to say so he just continue to stare at the lump which is N; the lump that suddenly looks so small and pitiful. 

"I was hoping that you'll forget. "N suddenly murmurs. "Because I want to forget. I don't want to remember those things you said to me at that time because it hurts. A lot. It hurts more than you can think. Imagine hearing all those insults from someone you see as your own brother. Do you know what that feels? "

"I'm sorry. "Thats all Leo manage to make out as other words doesn't seem to exist at the moment. At least not in his head. 

"I'm and was okay with you neglecting me because honestly, I've never expected you to look after me. Not when I'm sick and certainly not on daily basis so I'm really fine with you not caring about me. "N continues murmuring. "I know I always annoy you and all that but never once have I thought that you think of me that way. That you think of me as a total nuisance, as an attention . "

"Hakyeon... "Leo sighs sadly. "I was--"

"It hurts so, so much, Taekwoon. "N tells him. "But the time we've been away seems to have washed the pain away a bit and I thought that I'll be able to forget about it sooner or later. "

"Sorry I brought it up. "Leo says quickly. "I never meant to make you--"

"I was ready to feel safe and to open up to you once more. But we're barely healing yet you've already reopened my wounds. "

'It hurts, Taekwoon . '

A/N Sorry if anything confuses you and feel free to ask me anything that you don't understand. Sorry