“Chanhee hyung.” Jonghyun stomps over to his ex-boyfriend who was staring out the window absent-mindedly, his mind clearly somewhere among the clouds floating outside.

“Lee Chanhee!” Jonghyun shakes Chanhee’s shoulder sternly when he didn’t get any response from the latter. Usually Chanhee would have snapped at Jonghyun for being disrespectful but he was too preoccupied by his own thoughts to even realize that Jonghyun didn’t even use honorifics with him.

“Yes?” The man blinks twice in confusion at the younger boy in front of him who seemed rather mad but Chanhee doesn’t blame Jonghyun because everyone was probably mad at him right now. Especially after his huge lash out at Byunghun.

“You know hyung, I used to feel really guilty about cheating on you. But what I never expected was that you actually cheated on me first and kept me in the dark for so many years. With my own stepbrother nonetheless. Of course I am rational enough to acknowledge that you’re not entirely at fault here but it takes two to tango. I don’t expect an apology or anything like that. In fact this isn’t the main point I want to talk about. I just want you to know that I believe Byunghun would never use Chanhun against you, he isn’t that kind of person. He may have made a mistake once but he wasn’t emotionally stable back then we both know that. I just hope that you think about how you have crushed Byunghun. You have hurt him once, don’t hurt him again.” Jonghyun eyes Chanhee who doesn’t seem to react at all. In fact the boy had gone back to staring out the window and seemingly ignoring Jonghyun’s words.

Not that Jonghyun minded because after all the both of them had dated for so long before and he knew what exactly was on Chanhee’s mind just by reading his facial expressions. The man was conflicted, he needed time to think. And Jonghyun was going to give him the time that he needs.

“Reflect on yourself hyung.” The younger whispered before leaving Chanhee alone without bidding the latter goodbye.

===

The entire ward was quiet except for the whirring of the fan and the constant rhythmic beepings and hummings that came from the surrounding medical equipments as Chanhun lies in the middle of all of it, a clean white blanket pulled over his body to just under his armpits as the child slept peacefully. Beside him, his father was seated uncomfortably in a plastic chair with his hand atop the child’s chest as Byunghun slept, his body heavily heaved over the edge of the bed.

Chanhee walks into the ward silently as he sets his eyes on the sleeping child and father. Cautiously walking over after a bit of hesitation, he takes off his jacket and placed it on Byunghun’s shoulders gingerly before slowly reaching out to put his hand on Chanhun’s hair, smoothing the surface of it as softly as he possibly could.

It wasn’t that he hated the child or never wanted Chanhun to exist. He didn’t mean to spit such venomous words to Byunghun either. But Chanhee has always been the irrational type of person to flare up unconsciously whenever his temper gets the better of him. He didn’t react with such negativity because of the fact that Byunghun lied to him nor was it the fact that Byunghun never aborted the child back then. And he knew that Byunghun has made a mistake once but he wasn’t the kind of man who would use his own child as a device to tie Chanhee to him. Wooshin was right, Byunghun was still the same innocent and pure hearted boy he met back then. Chanhee reacted so negatively because he hated himself. He hated himself for tainting Byunghun and then leaving him alone. He hated himself for trying to shrink all responsibilities after that night. He hated himself for not even showing concern to Byunghun after that night, even shamelessly asking him to pretend that nothing happened between them. He hated himself for not even bothering to realize that Byunghun was carrying his child before he left. He had already noticed that Byunghun seemed a little different but never did it occur to him that he would have been pregnant with his child. He should have paid more attention to the boy back then, he was a doctor how could he not tell. Chanhee sighs inwardly as he recalls the nasty things he had said to Byunghun, deeply regretting it.

Seeing that Byunghun’s position seemed rather uncomfortable and considering that he had just had a minor surgery to his spine a few days back according to Jonghyun, he picks the boy up into his arms as gently as he could careful not to wake him and placed him softly onto the couch in the ward before adjusting his jacket over the boy so that the piece of clothing covered his upper body snugly.

Taking one last look at Byunghun and then at Chanhun, Chanhee smiles lightly as he left the ward but not before placing a quick peck on Chanhun’s forehead.

===

Byunghun’s eyelids flutters open as he rubs them cutely with his right fist before letting out a yawn and stretching his arms while getting up from the couch to sit up properly. As he got up, Chanhee’s jacket slips from his chest and onto the floor and the boy picks it up, placing it on his lap. Tugging at a stray thread on the jacket, the boy was deep in thought realizing that the jacket looked really familiar. He had seen this on Chanhee just the other day. Bring the fabric closer to his face as he buried his nose in it, tears sprung to his eyes whe