Twenty Nine.
Lifeline.A/N: I wanted to split Chanhee’s reaction into two chapters, the previous and this but after awhile I realized it probably wouldn’t make that much sense so I deleted Chanhee’s reaction from the previous chapter and will be plonking it into this chapter instead so do keep in mind that Chanhee’s reaction to the whole incident actually starts from this chapter onwards.
Chanhee wordlessly picks Byunghun up from the floor and carried the small boy in his arms all the way back to the ward, leaving the wheelchair abandoned in the middle of the corridor. Byunghun tugs into Chanhee’s coat tightly, unwilling to let go even after they have arrived in the ward and Chanhee had placed Byunghun back on his bed and tucked him in his blankets.
The younger’s heart was beating so hard and so fast that he thought it was going to pound through his rib cage and out of his chest, was Chanhee mad? The cardiologist hasn’t uttered a single word since Byunghun had confessed to his wrongdoings.
Chanhee was about to move further from Byunghun when he realized he couldn’t, due to Byunghun’s death grip on his coat. With a sigh, he lightly removes the small hands from his coat and set it on top of Byunghun’s thighs that were covered by the blanket.
“Chanhee hyung, if you’re angry at me you can yell at me, you can hit me. Just don’t ignore me, please...”
“Byunghun I’m not mad. I’m just… really disappointed. Did you know that Jonghyun was really worried about you? He was willing to give up our relationship for you...” Chanhee reprimanded softly, staring at Byunghun who had his head held low.
“I’m sorry... I really didn’t mean to hurt anyone. All I wanted was to be someone I love… I love you Chanhee hyung.”
Chanhee froze. That sentence hit Chanhee straight at his softest spot. All Byunghun wanted was to be loved, Byunghun was human too, he was selfish because he wanted love.
“We do love you little boy.” Tears started to blur Chanhee’s vision.
Suddenly, he felt sorry. He was sorry he couldn’t reciprocate Byunghun’s love, heck he didn’t even realize Byunghun was in love with him romantically. He always thought Byunghun loved him as an older brother. He was so oblivious. Chanhee realized he had hurt Byunghun without even knowing it. But unfortunately love wasn’t something could be forced. He had to admit he did like Byunghun. He was infatuated with the adorable and innocent younger. But he loved Jonghyun even more.
“We love you Byunghun, I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. Just... Not the way you want me to.”
Chanhee noticed that Byunghun had started crying and took him into his arms, patting his head to soothe the younger.
“Don’t cry little one. Don’t cry anymore alright? You’re stronger now than before.”
And Byunghun nodded.
===
Chanhee and Jonghyun sat quietly under the stars on a checkered red and white picnic mat on the rooftop of their apartment. Chanhee had narrated the entire incident with Byunghun to his boyfriend as Jonghyun listened earnestly, keeping silent the whole time as he played with a loose thread on the edge of the picnic mat.
“Jonghyun, don’t blame Byunghun. It’s not his fault.”
“I don’t blame him. I just... I feel sad for him.”
Chanhee let out a sigh, “Let’s hope he’ll be able to find his own happiness some day.”
“So... Are you ready for Australia?” Jonghyun grinned as Chanhee chuckles and laid his head on Jonghyun’s lap.
“I can’t wait for Australia.” Chanhee chimed blissfully as he looked up at Jonghyun who had leaned down to kiss Chanhee on his forehead.
“Jonghyun. After you graduate from university, let’s get married.”
“Hmm… Where’s my ring?” Jonghyun mused with a nonchalant expression. “How is this a proposal if there is no ring?”
“It isn’t.” Chanhee sat up and dusted his hands with a cheeky smirk before leaning real close to Jonghyun that his fac
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