Christmas was just a couple of weeks away, which meant that the boys were getting ready for their fall semester finals. Heechul and Hankyung walked into their sociology class and awaited to hear what they needed to look over for their final test. “Students, for your final exam this year, tomorrow we will be taking a field trip around Seoul where you will be exposed to how upper, middle, and lower class citizens live. From what you witness, you will write a paper stating which of the classes impacted you the most and why,” the teacher announced. “Now since we will be entering some questionable neighborhoods, I’m going to need permission slips from all your parents or guardians allowing you to partake in the field trip.”

          As the teacher passed out permission forms, Hankyung whispered to Heechul “This’ll be interesting, what do you think?”

          “Yeah, it will be different, that’s for sure,” Heechul quietly agreed.

          “What do they mean by ‘questionable neighborhoods’?” Leeteuk wondered that evening as he and Kangin read over Heechul’s permission slip.

          “Well honey they are going to see how different classes of people live, and some of those neighborhoods have drug addicts and people like that, and I guess they just want the parents to be informed of the risk of exposure,” Kangin figured.

          “You think we should let Heechul go? I mean I want our son to be safe,” Leeteuk replied.

          “Leeteuk, this is a school trip, and I’m sure that the school wouldn’t approve of a trip where they knew students would be in danger,” Kangin reminded. “Plus he’ll have Hankyung with him, so I’m sure Heechul will be fine.”

          The brunette parent sighed but said “Okay, as long as he stays safe.”

          Kangin smirked before taking Leeteuk’s hand. “Come with me,” he gently requested. Leading his husband upstairs, the two quietly peered into Heechul’s room and saw the raven haired Korean teen and his boyfriend lying asleep in bed. “Look, Hankyung is protective of Heechul even when they sleep,” Kangin added. Leeteuk noted how Heechul was wrapped tightly in Hankyung’s loving embrace. “I promise you baby, Heechul will be alright.” Kangin slid his arms around Leeteuk’s waist and pulled him close, pressing a light kiss against his neck. “Just please don’t worry.”

          “I’m a parent, I’m supposed to worry about my child,” Leeteuk remarked as he watched Heechul and Hankyung sleep.

          The next morning brought with it dark rain clouds. “Looks like it’s gonna rain today,” Heechul noticed as he glanced outside.

          “I know, and with the temperatures dropping, there’s probably a good chance of snow,” Leeteuk added. “Boys please remember to take your coats to school, I don’t want any of you getting sick right before Christmas.”

          “Don’t worry Leeteuk, we’ll be fine,” Donghae remarked. “Right babe?” Donghae turned to face Eunhyuk, only to find his boyfriend looking down at his food. “Eunhyuk, you okay?”

          “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about what my parents are gonna say to me when I go see them after school,” Eunhyuk muttered.

          Donghae leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. “You want me to go with you?” he whispered, rubbing the back of Eunhyuk’s neck.

          “No I’ll be okay,” Eunhyuk replied before Donghae kissed him again.

          “C’mon guys, we should get to school,” Yesung suggested as the boys stood up. After saying goodbye to Kangin and Leeteuk, the Korean teens headed out the door.

          When they arrived at their high school, Heechul and Hankyung found their sociology class already waiting in the parking lot to get on their bus. “Did everyone get their permission forms signed?” the teacher wondered. In response, everyone held up their slips. “Excellent, now everyone find a classmate and buddy up; we don’t need anyone wandering off alone on this trip.” Immediately, Heechul hooked his arm with Hankyung’s, glancing up at him. Hankyung smirked, lightly planting a kiss on Heechul’s raven hair before they climbed onto the bus with the rest of their class. Heechul and Hankyung sat down in one of the seats and peered out the window as the bus left the high school parking lot. “First we will be seeing how the upper class live,” the teacher informed when the bus pulled into a very rich looking neighborhood.

          After parking by the curb, the sociology class exited the bus and began looking around at the multiple four and five story homes that lie on the many streets of the neighborhood. Heechul let his jaw open slightly as he gazed at the enormous houses. “Wow,” he whispered. “It’d be incredible to own one of these.”

          “Maybe we could one day,” Hankyung responded.

          “You really think we could?” Heechul asked, looking over at his boyfriend.

          “Of course, anything is possible,” Hankyung promised as a smile spread across his lips, which in turn made Heechul smile back at him.

          After traveling out of the luxury neighborhoods and taking a quick glance into the middle class neighborhoods, the students began to travel to the lower class neighborhood. Looking out the window of the bus, Heechul’s eyes widened. “Hankyung, which neighborhood are we going to?” he wondered, sitting up straighter.

          “Um, I don’t know, why, what’s wrong?” Hankyung inquired, sensing something was troubling his boyfriend. Heechul didn’t respond, but kept his eyes glued on the window, watching the surroundings. Not but a few minutes later, the bus was parked by a curb just like it had been in the upper and middle class neighborhoods; only the houses that surrounded them now were much more worn down and tattered looking. Hesitantly, the class stepped off the bus and glanced at the depressing area around them; the dark overcast above them only added to the gloomy tone. Houses had missing shingles, paint chipping off the sidings, and trash littered over multiple yards. As the teacher began to talk about the surroundings, Hankyung looked around and found Heechul was gone. “Heechul?” he quietly called, glancing around for his boyfriend.

          Discreetly, Hankyung snuck away from the group and began to walk down the street searching for Heechul. Soon, the Chinese teen found Heechul standing in front of an abandoned, broken down house, frozen in his spot. “Heechul, babe are you okay?” Hankyung cautiously asked, placing a hand on Heechul’s back.

          The raven haired Korean swallowed roughly before allowing a tear to slide down his cheek. “I knew I recognized this neighborhood,” he whispered almost inaudibly.

          “What do you mean?” Hankyung wondered.

          Heechul took a deep breath and felt hot tears slip out of his eyes and glide down his icy face. “This is the house where I was tortured for six years,” he stated. Quietly, Hankyung gasped and gazed up at the house with Heechul.

          Closing his eyes, Heechul started sobbing loudly. Hankyung quickly turned Heechul to him and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding him tightly in a loving embrace. “Shh, it’s okay baby, you’re safe now,” Hankyung promised, Heechul’s hair while the Korean cried into his neck.

          After a minute, Heechul pulled away from Hankyung and turned to face the house again. Thousands of painful, traumatic memories began to fill Heechul’s mind as he gazed around. Swallowing nervously, Heechul dragged his feet up the small pathway that led to the front door. Reaching a shaky hand up, Heechul rested his palm against the wooden frame, feeling the tattered timber against his skin. “I wonder if it’s still here,” Heechul whispered through tears.

          “If what’s still here baby?” Hankyung gently asked.

          Instead of answering, Heechul pulled the door open and walked inside, pulling Hankyung behind him slowly; holding his hand tightly. Heechul’s heart pounded loudly as he gazed at the dark, grayish surroundings. Dust, cobwebs, and mold were everywhere; every crevice and banister covered in it. Looking over at the living room, Heechul allowed a memory to resurface.

          *Flashback 11 years ago*

          Six year old Kim Heechul was sitting in his room playing with what he considered a toy. All his parents had given him to play with was a towel tied in a ball with a rubber band with a face drawn it in sharpie; but Heechul loved it regardless, since it was the one nice thing his parents allowed him to have. As he played, Heechul heard loud sounds coming from the living room. The little six year old Korean stood up and curiously walked into the living room, only to find his parents and about five of their so-called friends laughing while they injected needles into their arms and passed around a hookah for each took a hit. “Mom, dad?” Heechul muttered.

          His parents turned their attention to him as his mother snapped “What, what the do you want?”

          “I was just wondering why you were laughing so loudly,” Heechul remarked.

          “Just mind your own ing business,” his mother ordered before flicking at her lighter so she could take another hit of the hookah. When she’d finished, she looked up to see Heechul still standing there with his head lowered. “Oh god, are you crying?” she demanded, standing up. Heechul looked up at his mother with tears rolling down his face. “Why are you acting like a little and crying for no reason, huh? Do you want me to give you a reason to cry?” Before Heechul got the chance to respond, the raven haired woman slapped her son across the face, sending the six year old down to the ground. The woman grabbed Heechul’s hair and dragged him down the hallway, ignoring her son’s cries of pain, before opening his bedroom door and pushing him inside. “Now stay in here until we come get you.”

          After she slammed the door shut, Heechul crawled over to his bed and buried himself underneath his blanket, crying into the dirty sheets. Glancing over at his little towel friend, Heechul whispered “No, it’s okay, I should’ve known better; I deserved to get slapped.” A few hours later, Heechul was lying on the floor drawing on a piece of paper he’d managed to get from the kitchen. Suddenly there was a knock on the bedroom door. “Hello?” Heechul asked.

          The door opened up, revealing one of Heechul’s parents’ friends. The man stumbled over to the bed and questioned “Is this the bathroom?”

          “No this is my room, the bathroom is the next door down,” Heechul said.

          “Hmm, alright then,” the man replied. He stopped for a moment and gazed at the raven haired Korean before leaving. Heechul could tell that the man was obviously not all there in the head.

          A few minutes later, Heechul’s door opened back up and the man walked back inside. “What is it now?” Heechul whispered. The man didn’t say a word, instead he just closed the door and walked over to Heechul. “Mister are you okay?”

          “Your parents never told me that they had such a beautiful little boy,” he responded, his lips.

          “What?” Heechul asked in a scared tone. Instead of answering, the man grabbed the front of Heechul’s shirt and pulled him off the ground before tossing him onto his bed. The man began to yank off Heechul’s clothing as the six year old Korean screamed “Stop, no what are you doing?! Stop!”

          The man then smacked Heechul across the face. “Shut the up kid; it’ll be over in a second,” he grumbled as he unbuckled his pants.

          “No, stop! You’re hurting me stop! Mommy! Mommy help me!” Heechul yelled as tears streamed down his face.

          From inside the living room, Heechul’s father asked his wife, “Did you hear something?”

          The woman was quiet for a minute before replying “Nope, nothing that sounded important.”

          A few minutes later, the man inside Heechul’s room stood up and fixed himself before glancing down at Heechul; the poor little raven haired boy was a crying mess, curled up in the fetal position. “Not gonna lie to you kid, that was the best I’ve ever had; take it as a compliment,” he stated. The man then pulled some money out of his pocket and tossed it next to Heechul. “Here, here’s thirty dollars for your trouble.”

          Heechul lie on his bed sobbing as he muttered to himself “Ow, ow.” His body ached in places that they shouldn’t, and he felt as though he had just been torn in half. After a minute, Heechul slowly stood up on wobbly legs and redressed himself before cautiously walking into the living room.

          “Heechul what the hell is it now?” his mother asked. When she looked up and saw her son, she noticed something was off about him. “Why are you crying now?”

          The raven haired boy looked over and saw the man who had just violated him sitting next to his father injecting more drugs into his arm. Pointing to the man, Heechul cried “He hurt me mommy.”

          “What the are you talking about? How did he hurt you?” she inquired.

          “He touched me down there where he’s not supposed to,” Heechul sobbed. “He made it hurt.”

          “Is that true?” Heechul’s mother wondered, turning towards the accused man.

          “In my defense, I gave the kid thirty dollars to make up for everything,” he responded.

          “Thirty bucks?” his mother repeated before the man nodded. The woman turned back to her son and smiled before kneeling down in front of him. “Heechul, sweetie, do you want to help mommy like a good little boy?” she asked in a tone that Heechul rarely heard her use. The raven haired Korean nodded before his mother led him over to the living room table. “Mommy’s gonna give you something that will help the pain go away okay?” Heechul nodded again before his mother raised his shirt and injected a needle into Heechul’s back. Not too long after did the little six year old start to feel tired. “Alright, who wants a go with him next? Fifty bucks for the next one,” his mother crudely stated. Another man raised his hand before handing Heechul’s mother fifty dollars, and picking up the drowsy, almost knocked out Heechul and carrying him to his bedroom.

          *End Flashback*

          Heechul felt tears flow down his cheeks at the memory before he felt Hankyung’s hand gently on his back. “Baby what is it?” Hankyung whispered. “Do we need to leave?”

          “Not yet,” Heechul replied quietly. He turned towards the hallway and walked down to where his old bedroom used to be. Taking Hankyung’s hand, Heechul opened the door and stepped inside. Almost instantly, a new wave of tears came over him as he collapsed to his knees.

          “Heechul,” Hankyung said, quickly catching his boyfriend before fell completely. Feeling the raven haired teen tremble in his arms, Hankyung suggested “C’mon, let’s get out of here; you shouldn’t be in here, this place is too painful for you.”

          “Wait,” Heechul requested. He walked over to where his old bed used to be and lifted a loose floor panel to find an old piece of paper lying under it.

          “What is that?” Hankyung wondered.

          Heechul unfolded the paper and reread the words, remembering the day he’d written it.

          *Flashback 7 years ago*

          Ten year old Heechul looked at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. Another ‘client’ as his parents referred to them, had just left Heechul’s room and the raven haired boy wanted to examine the physical damage done to him. Bruises and scratches plagued his torso and back, and his lower lip was busted slightly from where the man had smacked him. Luckily tomorrow was Christmas, and his parents were merciful enough to let him have one day free of being molested and .

          Putting his clothes back on, Heechul walked down the hallway to the living room and found his parents passed out in the living room, empty bottles and hookahs lay around them. Heechul took this opportunity to quietly sneak out of his house. Usually, Heechul wasn’t allowed to leave the house under any circumstances, but occasionally, when he was blessed with the gift of both of his parents passing out at the same time, Heechul would venture outside into the neighborhood.

          The ten year old wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to warm up, since it was freezing cold and he only had on jeans and a short sleeve shirt. After walking for several minutes, Heechul found himself in on the outskirts of a middle class neighborhood. The raven haired Korean looked around to see if anyone was watching him before he scurried over to one of the trashcans and rummaged the contents around to see if he could find anything to eat, considering he hadn’t eaten anything all week long. As he looked around, Heechul heard someone ask “What are you doing?”

          Quickly turning to the side, Heechul saw a boy about his age watching him dig through the trash. “Hungry,” Heechul shivered.

          “You can have some cookies my mom made if you want,” the little boy offered. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a Tupperware container filled with treats. Heechul’s eyes widened as he quickly took one and ate it rapidly. “Wow, you really were hungry. Here, you can have a few more, we’ve got lots more at home.” The boy handed the Tupperware bowl to Heechul before saying “Well I have to go home now, bye.”

          Instead of saying goodbye, Heechul replied “Thank you.”

          The raven haired Korean rushed home, quietly entering the house before hearing “Kim Heechul, where the hell have you been?!”

          Heechul froze before seeing his mother standing in the living room gazing over at him. “I-I just went outside for a minute,” he muttered.

          “Are you allowed to go outside?” his mother questioned.

          “No,” he replied before feeling the woman slap him across the face.

          “And what the do you have?” his mother asked.

          “A boy gave them to me,” Heechul said.

          “Bull, you probably stole them, knowing how you are you little son of a ,” his mother responded, smacking him again. “As punishment, you won’t get any.”

          “No, mom please just let me keep a couple. They’re the only food I’ve had all week and probably the only thing I’ll get for Christmas,” Heechul pleaded, gripping the Tupperware tightly.

          “Then you should’ve thought about that before you snuck out like a deceptive little bastard,” his mother scolded, snatching the container from Heechul’s hand. “Now go to your room and just be lucky we’re not making you work on Christmas, you should be grateful.”

          Heechul locked himself in his room and sobbed into his pillow. From underneath his mattress, he retrieved a pen and paper he’d found in the kitchen and began to write on it:

          Dear anyone who will listen,

          All I want for Christmas this year is to know that life will get better. Please, please someone, anyone, tell me that life will get so much better than this, because if it doesn’t, then all I want is to die. This life is Hell and I just want someone to save me. Please, please save me.

          Kim Heechul

          *End Flashback*

          “What does it say?” Hankyung repeated.

          “It’s a letter I wrote when I was ten, praying for someone to save me, praying to know if life would get better. I can’t believe it’s still here,” Heechul explained. “I wish I could go back and tell myself that it does get better, that we do get saved, that we actually get to experience what love really is.”

          Hankyung hurried over to Heechul and held him close as the raven haired teen cried into his shoulder. Gently, Hankyung pulled Heechul out of the room and whispered “C’mon, let’s get you out of here. I hurts me to see you hurting like this.”

          Once they were outside, the two discovered that snow flurries were falling faster from the grey clouds overhead. Heechul turned back one final time to glance at the house before letting the final memory he had of his torture chamber.

          *Flashback 5 years ago*

          Twelve year old Heechul lie on his bed, heart pounding as he waited for his next client to show up. His mother had been overworking him lately, making him have at least four clients a day. Heechul could hear the business deal going on in the living room; she was going to charge him fifty dollars for half an hour, and seventy five dollars for a full hour, Heechul knew that people usually would take the seventy five dollar deal. Before the deal could be finalized, Heechul heard a loud bang on the front door. “Where is your son Mrs. Kim?” a voice demanded.

          Heechul was scared by this voice, it sounded like one of the angry clients that he got several times a week. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the woman responded.

          “We received an anonymous call saying that there was a boy in here being abused, so last week we sent an undercover officer here to see if it was true or not, and what his report says, it makes us sick,” the voice explained. “Now, I’m going to ask you again, where is your son?”

          Heechul wanted to scream where he was, but knew that he wasn’t allowed to say anything if anyone from outside was in their house. He heard his mother say “No, where are you going? Don’t go in there!”

          Suddenly, Heechul’s bedroom door was opened up and a police officer stepped inside. The raven haired boy nervously scooted back further on his bed as the officer walked towards him slowly. “It’s okay, we’re here to take you away from this place,” the officer stated. “Has your mother hurt you? Made you do things you didn’t want to do?” Heechul nodded. “Well several other officers and I are going to take you somewhere that’s safe, where you will never have to worry about doing this ever again.” The policeman held out a hand to Heechul and muttered “It’s okay, we won’t hurt you.” Hesitantly, Heechul took the officer’s hand and stood up. He noticed Heechul’s back covered in scars, cigarette burns, and swollen needle puncture wounds as the twelve year old slipped a shirt on over his abused body.

          As he was led out of the room, Heechul saw several officers restraining and handcuffing his parents. “No, you don’t understand, he wanted to do it! Heechul, tell them you wanted to do this for us! Heechul tell them we never abused you!” his mother screamed as tears fell from her eyes.

          Heechul looked at his mother and responded through tears “You let them hurt me mom. You let all those men me, abuse me, and you never did a thing to stop them. You never protected me, why should I protect you?”

          His mother lashed out, trying to grab Heechul, but a police officer pulled him into a protective embrace as his mother was restrained again. “Get them out of here,” the officer instructed. Heechul couldn’t help but smile a little when he watched his parents be dragged away.

          *End Flashback*

          “Being taken away from here was the best memory I have of this place,” Heechul muttered.

          Hankyung wrapped an arm around Heechul and led him away from the house and back to their group who had ventured not far from where they left them. “Students, the weather is getting bad, so let’s head back,” the teacher suggested.

          “I like that idea,” Hankyung mumbled under his breath, feeling Heechul tremble next to him. The whole bus ride back to the school, Hankyung kept his arms around Heechul, letting his boyfriend rest his head on his shoulder. Every so often, Hankyung would lean over and press a light kiss against Heechul’s face, trying to help him feel better.

          “Hey boys, how was the field trip today?” Leeteuk asked as Hankyung and Heechul stepped inside.

          “Not too good I’m afraid,” Hankyung stated. “Unfortunately, we went to the neighborhood where Heechul grew up in, and he saw his house and had a bad trip down memory lane.”

          Leeteuk’s jaw hit the floor before he rushed over to Heechul and wrapped his arms around him. “Oh my god, my baby, are you okay?” he asked, seeing Heechul’s red eyes.

          “Yeah, I’m okay,” Heechul lied.

          “Sweetie I’m so sorry, if I’d known, I would’ve never sent you on that trip,” Leeteuk promised, placing a kiss on the top of Heechul’s head.

          “I know, it’s not your fault,” Heechul responded. “C’mon Hankyung, let’s go upstairs.”

          Leeteuk watched the two climb the stairs to their bedroom before Kangin walked in and asked “How’d they like their trip?” The brunette parent turned to Kangin and crossed his arms. “What, baby what’s wrong?”

          “You promised me,” Leeteuk said, tears welling and glistening in his eyes. “You promised me he would be safe. He saw the place where he was tortured and all those memories that we’ve been trying to help him forget, resurfaced today. You promised our son wouldn’t get hurt!”

          Kangin wrapped his arms around Leeteuk’s body and shushed him gently as the brunette sobbed into his shoulder. “I’m sorry Leeteuk, I swear to God I didn’t know,” Kangin apologized. Leeteuk’s only reply was a shaky breath as he continued to cry.

          Meanwhile, Eunhyuk took a deep breath as he walked up the pathway to his parents’ house. It’d been over a year since he’d seen them, and he didn’t know what they had to say to him. Knocking on the door softly, Eunhyuk watched as his mother Min opened the door. “Hello Hyukjae,” she said, giving him a small hug.

          “Hi mom,” he responded, forcing a smile across his lips.

          “C’mon inside,” Min offered, letting her son in the house. Eunhyuk took another deep breath before walking inside.