I tried very hard to act like nothing was wrong when I got home. No one was in sight when I walked up the stairs, allowing me to easily rush to my room. I locked my door and it didn’t take long for my tears to escape, making my vision blurry.

That’s exactly how I felt, everything was a blur. That idiot! He’s been lying to me! Suddenly I felt mad. All my emotions were getting the best of me, unsure how to feel at some point.

Everything went blank and I could no longer stand up. I walk towards my bed to lie down and curl next to my pillow as my tears ran down my cheeks.

My tears went dry. I’ve finally settled down but my heart was still hurting as I thought things through. I made myself go backwards as I finally found the reason to his behavior. Nothing was misplaced anymore but at the same time I wish it still was. There still was however one thing that didn’t add up to any of this. Why was I a bet?

My phone vibrates and in the lock screen I notice a new text message from Yixing. I know he would be able to cheer me up but I just wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. I turn my phone off and get under my sheets. I shut my eyes and call it an early night.

The kids in the morning were being sweet and a small smile appeared on my face but it wasn’t enough to distract me. My mind would wonder off thinking of Sehun and how much I hate him. The bet didn’t matter, his behavior didn’t matter, I hated him because I’ve fallen in love with someone who one day will no longer be here.

The little girl Mira, who couldn’t hear ended up liking me after all. She dragged me to the table to paint with her when she saw me walk in. I watched her paint while some kids would come up to me to talk and tell me their cute stories before they were sick. As I listened, it’s like my eyes had a habit of looking over whenever Sehun was in sight, my heart couldn’t take it.

Mira noticed Sehun walk in and ran up to him with her painting. This whole time I thought his cold eyes were just a use of him being an but in reality, his cold eyes were suffering. They were filled with pain and he covered them up, making his new image a distraction.

He was right. Everyone was busy looking at the wrong thing, no one stepped back to see the full picture. I couldn’t stand to see him without wanting to beat him up for keeping a secret like this away from everyone. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry, not here.

“Morning Cheon”

Sehun and Mira walk back to the table and take a seat next to each other. Mira gives him a brush and pushes over the paint, handing him a blank piece of construction paper.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asks softly but I ignore him.

I remain quiet as anger boiled up inside of me. I watched him as I tried to figure out what right words to tell him that I know everything but there weren’t any right words.

“Look Hayoung” Little HyunKi smiled as he showed me his drawing

“Is that you?” A soft smile comes across my face

He nods “When I get better, I want to be a doctor like Dr. Choi”

I smile and the back of his head “You will”

Sehun sighs and I catch it, making me put my attention on him.

“An eight year old has more ambition than you”

He nods without replying back to me

“Why is it hard for you?”

Even though I know the truth, I pointed it out because a sick kid who won’t be able to live still has hopes for himself and I think that’s the most important thing to have regardless of the situation. Sehun had given up on himself and pushed everyone around him away.

Again he doesn’t respond.

“If you had another chance in life, what would you want to be?”

He freezes, his brush stops moving, and he doesn’t make eye contact with me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand to see him like this. I quickly got up and left the room.

I crossed my arms, taking a minute to myself to control my breathing, to fight the tears that were building up.

“I don’t think you should be upset around a room full of kids.” He says softly

I heard his voice from behind but I kept my back towards him.

He adds “They have it worse than you, you’re offending them.”

I couldn’t take his humor right now. He turned everything into a joke and it wasn’t funny anymore, nothing was. I turn around and as I stared at him I couldn’t control my hand that slipped across his face.

He didn’t move after I slapped him. I just couldn’t take it any longer, I was mad that he acted this way, I was mad that he wasn’t going to live anymore.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He faces me “You already knew they were sick”

 “Always making a joke” I mutter as my jaw clenched “That’s why you gave up on everything?”

He shakes his head “I didn’t give up. I just went ahead of the game.” He pauses, and then biting his lip after “Besides the whole joking thing, Kyutae says it’s a phase, it’ll stop soon. At least I didn’t make anyone feel sympathy for the sick kid.”

“Which isn’t fair” I pause “It’s not fair how you did things”

He raises his voice “Is K-Arts fair? Is London fair? Leaving Daehun behind, is that all fair?” His cold eyes piercing through my brown eyes “At this rate I won’t even make it to graduation.”

He walks off and leaves me standing there, trying to take in his confession and making me think, no matter what decision I took neither would give me him, I was bound to lose him either way.

Hey guys, sorry I don't want to ruin the moment but I wanted to share this fun and happy video with you by ThePumbalLexeL, it really made my Sunday afternoon and I hope it makes yours :)

Also EXO on RunningMan, I couldn't stop laughing, it was a perfect way to start my morning ♥ I hope this lightens the mood for you guysss