I was working on my homework but it was difficult to concentrate when I had Sehun resting his head on my shoulder. He tried distracting me by summing up random numbers, even ones that didn't make sense.

 

A chuckle escapes from my lips "I won't be able to finish up if you keep doing that."

 

"I'm helping you." 

 

My fingers run through my hair as I placed a lose strand behind my ear. "With the GPA you have? No, thank you." I tease and I felt his fingers squeeze my side, my giggle runs out. 

 

He didn't continue and I tried composing myself. I fixed my notebook and tried to get these assignments done and he actually gave me a few minutes to myself. 

 

"Spend the night." He softly says, breaking the silence.

 

My pen stops writing and I stare blankly at the paper. 

 

"I don't want you to leave." He adds

 

How ironic...he's asking me to stay. I turn to face him and his brown eyes glared at me, with that look, the look that I couldn't resist to say no to. However, I know my parents won't be too thrilled about me spending the night at my boyfriend's house. Not to mention, his parent's probably wouldn't find it appropriate either.

 

"Well, if I ask they're going to say––"

 

"I wasn't asking you to ask for permission." He smirks "I'm telling you to stay."

 

"What are your parents going to say when they see me sleeping here?"

 

"Sneak in." His devilish smile creeped on his beautiful fragile face

 

My laugh covered his room. "How am I going to do that?"

 

"Then, just stay with me until I fall asleep."

 

I nod "Let me just finish this up."

 

He chuckles and squirms in his spot. "I guess. Always––"

 

I bite my lips as I held my smile down and with my notebook I lightly slapped his arm with it.

 

"Fine." I gave up. I knew what he was going to say and if I continued my work he wasn't going to leave me alone. So, I might as well stop. Besides, I didn't mind the little break. 

 

I put my things on his floor and rested my body. Our bodies facing each other, our heads cuddled onto the pillows, and our eyes directly holding each other's gazes. 

 

"Now what?" I ask with a soft smile covering my face 

 

"We talk." He his lips 

 

I nod once "About what?"

 

"Anything..." His brown eyes that used to be cold were gentle and warm. I couldn't help myself, my fingers ran through his hair and it traced the side of his forehead down his jawline. I stopped where his invisible scar was. 

 

"How did you get that?" I whisper but loud enough for him to hear.

 

"I fell of my bike when I was seven." He smiles "I have two more on my lower left shin."

 

Imagining Sehun at seven made me picture of a happy little boy, running around, enjoying his childhood, and not having a care in the world. Moments like that I wish Sehun could have back.

 

"Do you have any pictures?" I smile

 

He takes my hand and locks his fingers with mine. "You swear I'm going to show any."

 

I chuckle "Are you embarrassed that you weren't cute as a button like your little brother?"

 

He amusingly scoffs "Everyone in this household thinks Daehun is a little mini-me. As if we were twins from a different time."

 

"He does look like you." It took me back to the memory when I first saw Daehun. "Especially when he smiles." 

 

"Don't get any crazy ideas. He's only six years old."

 

I roll my eyes and play along with his joke. Then, another thought came to mind.

 

"I don't want you to feel rushed or pressured but––when are you going to tell him?"

 

He sighs "Soon."

 

What if soon wasn't soon enough...I hated how I could enjoy my time with Sehun but his sickness will linger and make me analyze everything. I didn't like spending my time thinking negatively, he's here, and that's what I should focus on.

 

I get closer to him, he squeezes my hand gently, my eyes stare deep into his. I smile and without thinking twice, I lean in and place my lips onto his. When our kiss is broken, he rests his forehead with mine. I close my eyes feeling his embrace and never wanting to let him go.

 

We laid there silently, both not minding, but just taking in every second to hold onto each other. That's when my eyes finally opened. I was scared to ask but I didn't want him to with-hold his feelings. I wanted him to be able to openly speak to me about his fears.

 

"Are you scared?" 

 

He lightly pulls away and stares at my eyes. Now, it was his turn to run his fingers through my hair. Then, his hand moves to my cheek, his thumb beginning to caress it.

 

"The sky is the limit." 

 

I close my eyes again and nuzzle between his neck and chest. 

 

He whispers "I love you Cheon."

 

My tears were piling up and with my eyes shut, they still managed to escape.

 

"I love you Oh Sehun." 

 

We didn't say anything after that. We allowed ourselves to savor the moment of holding onto each other, our minds thinking different things, but our hearts feeling the same way. My eyes begin to feel heavy and I can feel my self slowly drift into sleep.

 

---

---

 

 

I didn't want to come back to the hospital. There wasn't a point when my body has stopped responding to treatments. But, it was my fault for putting myself in this situation. If I wasn't going out a lot and drinking I could have avoided coming here. I do admit that after my big fight with Cheon when she drove me home...my nights to drink got out of control. I just thought feeling numb would be better than staying sober and miserably thinking every second about her.

 

"That behavior is unacceptable Sehun." My mother used a stern voice as we walked down the halls of the hospital. "I don't want anything like that to be repeated again."

 

Aside from Cheon seeing me at my worst weeks ago, the drunken nights caught up to me and my parents. They weren't to thrilled about that. The main reason why it was my fault that I was brought back to the hospital. 

 

"I don't want anything like that happening again, understood?"

 

As we walked down, my mom kept going on and on about how I was irresponsible. I had no idea why she was making a big deal about it all. I was still here...so far. To avoid listening to her I allowed her to walk ahead and she didn't notice that I stayed behind. 

 

My eyes caught Cheon inside the Youth Program room. The glasses were see through so I was able to see that she was sitting down, talking to Mira. I put my hands in my front pockets and for some reason...something was tugging at me to go in there.

 

I knew I should keep walking and ignore it but I realized it was too late when my feet were a few inches away from them.

 

“My favorite is homerunball chocolates”

 

“Still like balls in your mouth Cheon” I just had to throw that joke in. 

 

She stared at me and she looked at my eyes...I hate when she does that.

 

“You shouldn’t speak like that around kids”

 

“They don’t know what I mean” I smirk and smile at Mira. She was like that with me at first when I didn't know she couldn't hear. “She’s deaf.”

 

I point at my left ear and I explained to her how I knew. She started asking questions but as usual I ignored them. I began to do my basic sign-language that I was taught here. Mira smiled once I told her she looked pretty today but even more next to Cheon. But, Mira disagreed. She was like Daehun, she thought Hayoung was pretty. I shake my head. After a while of debating, Mira got up and made me hold hands with Cheon.

 

I haven't had a chance to hold her hand like this in a really long time. I knew I should let go but I couldn't...I didn't want to. Mira thought we looked good together and personally so did I.

 

“She’s saying we look good together.”

 

She pulls her hand away but I didn't make anything of it. Reality brought me back and reminded me that having those thoughts weren't a good idea. Hayoung didn't deserve me...I didn't deserve her.

 

“How do you tell her I have a boyfriend?” 

 

A boyfriend? I knew it shouldn't bug me but it did. I didn't want her to love anyone but me...again getting lost in my imagination. I ended up telling Mira how Hayoung has someone else. She looked upset and her face matched my heart. I just couldn't show it.

 

Mira hugs me once the nurse comes to pick her up and I stay alone with Hayoung. But, when I turned around I noticed she was starting to walk away. 

 

“Cheon” I call after her. She turns around and I didn't know how to say it in words so I used sign-language. 'I hope you stay happy.'

 

I walked off without saying anything else. I actually meant it...she should be happy. This is where I say my goodbye to her. I'm going to leave her alone and I'm going to learn how to deal with it. This is the only way to keep her safe. 

 

---

 

Happy New Year guys!! 2 0 1 4 is here and I hope you guys had an amazing night with friends and loved ones! I really appreciate the love and support you guys give and I return it back but infinity times more :)

You guys are the best and I hope A L L of you continue following me and my fics--I really do! You guys are more than welcome to read my rated-M fics if you are willing and if you want to. No pressure. But regardless what I do, I just hope you guys stay by my side.

Lots of love, I hope great things happen to you all in this new year! Thanks again everyone for everything. I love you all xoxo