It doesn't even feel like five months have passed. When I started my last year of high school, graduation seemed different to me back then, oppose to how it does now. I was still happy that I managed to receive my diploma and end this part of my life with my closest friends. But, the other half of me wished I could share this joy with the one person who showed me a different way of living life.

 

" yes!" Chanyeol shouted as he held his arms up in the sky "We ing did it!" 

 

Kai smirked and shook his head "I'm surprised your dumb even did."

 

Chanyeol's big eyes popped wide open and pushed Kai. 

 

Kris places his arm around the tall big ear guy. "Don't worry Yeol. You're no longer going to have to stress about it. Tonight, let's drink without worries!"

 

"So how did we plan this?" Saerin asks "We'll meet you guys there?"

 

"Hayoung!" I turned around to find Haeryung running after us. Everyone continued to talk with each other while I gave her a small smile. When she reached me she hugged me, it was so sudden but I hugged her back.

 

"Thank you for everything!" She squeezes a little tighter "I wish you the best."

 

We pull away and I place a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Thank you Haeryung and thank you for being a good friend."

 

Her eyes squint with a big smile planted on her face. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you next year." She hugs me back again. "I'm going to miss you."

 

"I'll miss you too."

 

We stay quiet for a while. "Keep staying strong because I know you are."

 

I knew what she was referring to, it wasn't a secret. Although five months passed it still feels like it was yesterday. 

 

"Haeryung!" Ryu shouts "Let's get going!" 

 

All the guys shouted at him and they congratulated each other from where they stood. They shouted across the parking lot agreeing to meet up later tonight. Haeryung says bye to us and makes her way to her boyfriend. When I saw her kiss Ryu, I kind of felt jealous because I didn't have someone to do that to anymore. 

 

I caught Yixing walking towards our direction, waving at me since I was the only one who probably noticed him while the rest agreed on the crazy grad-night parties going on tonight.

 

"Hey," His signature dimple appeared and it didn't take long for the guys to jump on him, getting pumped to see him even though they already did earlier. 

 

"You know what," Kai adds "I think tonight we should drink for Sehun."

 

Everyone's smile soon cut off short. We loved Sehun but bringing him up in any conversation was still hard for us to talk about.

 

Kris nods "Tonight's dedicated to him." 

 

Tao sighs, "Guys," He pauses "I think there's one place we need to visit before going out."

 

We all stared at Tao knowing exactly what he's talking about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I haven't been to the cemetery where Sehun was buried in since the day of his burial. 

 

We all didn't say much, we kept to ourselves. For some reason, I wasn't able to think much about what I wanted to say. All that came to mind was the memories I created with him. After a while we all shared a few good stories about him and we all made promises that we will never forget him. Once everyone left, I stayed behind. I stood in place starring at Sehun's tombstone.

 

"Are you talking to him?" I hear Yixing ask

 

I wasn't expecting him to stay but I shouldn't have been surprised that he did, especially knowing that he's been keeping a close eye on me. 

 

"I don't know what to say?" I confess because it was true. I've been avoiding this place and now that I'm finally here, I found it hard to believe that I couldn't think of anything to talk about. 

 

He nods "How about you start off with K-Arts?" He pauses. "Tell him how you are still dancing, taking care of Daehun, and how he's still in your heart."

 

I heard Yixing's words clearly. Nothing came out, instead I just stared at the infinity bracelet locked on my wrist. Promising him that I'll never take it off and that I'll see him someday again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Be ready by 9:00" Kyungri said through the phone "9:30 the latest."

 

"I actually need to do something before so I'll meet you guys there."

 

"It better not start." She says gently "I say this with care and love but you know Sehun didn't want you to turn back to your old habits..."

 

I was able to tell she sounded nervous because she didn't want to offend me but it was the opposite. I lightly chuckled not feeling offended at all.

 

"I just want a few minutes to myself." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My car stayed parked at the bluffs. I sat behind the wheel thinking of the small moments I shared with Sehun here. I smiled to one particular memory, wanting to experience it all over again, even if it's without him. I turned my car back on.

 

I closed my eyes and I could imagine the voices in my head. The voice of me screaming at Sehun to stop the cry while he casually allowed the car to move backwards. This time I wasn't panicking as I allowed the car to go, I mimicked Sehun's gesture. I relaxed and stayed calm.

 

I kept my eyes shut, telling myself not to open them, not yet.

 

I could feel the car slowly going in reverse as I held tight onto the steering wheel. I didn’t want to stop myself from making this car fall over the hill. I continued to allow all four wheels to roll backwards putting trust in my instincts.

 

I decided it was time. I opened my eyes bringing myself back to the dark night. I quickly pressed the brakes and put the car on parking mode. I got out of the car making my way towards the edge of the cliff. I saw I was only an inch away from tipping over. 

 

I shake my head in amusement of how it seemed to stop at the same spot Sehun did. My small grin slowly disappeared and I sighed. This felt a bit more comfortable, the bluffs allowed me to remember the person he was. The cemetery was just a reminder that he's actually gone. But this place, his secret place...made it feel like he was still here.

 

I looked up at the starry night and smiled to myself, thanking him for everything. Thanking him for showing me a different things and learning how to take in a new breath of life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Come on" I laughed as I saw Daehun carry his small suitcase down the front stairs of his mansion "We're going to be late."

 

"Hurry up little !" Kai teases 

 

"Don't talk to him like that" Chanyeol playfully snaps at Kai. 

 

Saerin and Kyungri waited impatiently in my car as we saw him struggle. 

 

"Hurry up!" Chanyeol shouted and I seriously felt like there was a ringing in my ear.

 

I smile and decide to help him. "Instead of yelling, why don't you guys help?" I tease back

 

"Wait!" Daehun stopped his steps "I forgot something!"

 

Everyone complained that we had to wait for him again. 

 

"What the does a six year old need so much on this ing weekend trip?" Kai chuckles

 

"Leave him alone" Tao finally speaks up "It's his first trip."

 

Kris nods and rubs my head "It's really cool that you're doing this Hayoung."

 

Mr. and Mrs. Oh stepped out with Daehun walking back out, this time with Sehun's black cap. He was wearing it backwards and I smiled in awe since it was still too big for him. He's really a kid of his words, he said he wasn't going to ever be without it. 

 

"Be safe guys" Mr. Oh smiles and waves at us. 

 

"Call us as soon as you land in London." Mrs. Oh waves as well. 

 

Daehun finally reached my car door and when he stood in front of me I rubbed his head.

 

"Ready?"

 

His teeth were exposed from the excitement. "We'll meet you there Sehun." He spoke openly.

 

My heart felt good knowing that Daehun was up for this trip. I was a little hesitant to suggest it at first but I remember Sehun wanted to take D to a Manchester soccer game. Now that he wasn't here to do that, I made it my own personal assignment to accomplish that for him. 

 

I smile "We'll meet him there." 

 

---

---

 

 

 

"Thank you Misung." I handed her Hayoung's letter I managed to write today, along with the one I wrote for Daehun weeks ago. "Give this to her whenever you have the chance and make sure she gets Daehun's too." I paused as I felt myself get weaker.

 

She nods and was about to excuse herself but I stopped her.

 

"Do me one last favor." My voice was low "Take the bracelet off and put it in my nightstand."

 

While her hands grabbed my wrist, I tried my best to smile at her.

 

"Misung, thank you for putting up with me." I pause wanting to say more but she hushed me and my hair.

 

"I know Sehun." She pauses "Sweet dreams."

 

I felt my eyes get heavier, unable to keep them open anymore I closed them. I was still breathing but I knew I wasn't going to be able to any longer. All the memories of my childhood with my friends came to thought. How much we all went through together and every funny moment flashed back. All the bed time stories, soccer games, and the loving relationship I had with my little brother. Then, the last memories I had were with Cheon. For some reason, I envisioned a future with her. If I could have it my way, I could see myself marrying her.

 

I smiled at the thought and even if it wasn't going to be with me, I still hoped, even if it made me jealous to think about, that she finds happiness again and falls in love.

 

In the past months, the conversations I had with everyone made me feel satisfied that I'll be leaving letting them know how I felt about them. I cleared things up and said things I wanted to say. Looking back, there wasn't anything I was regretting. The only thing I was scared of was that my time would end and I wouldn't be able to fix whatever needed to be fixed but everything was in place. 

 

Now, I was able to leave everything behind peacefully and take my last breath of life.

 

 

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Don't worry guys, even though this is the last chapter I decided on an epilogue which I will post right after this xoxo