My mind was trying to figure out how to get Sehun alone as he was being surrounded by his friends. I wanted to try and ask what is wrong, clearly something was really bugging him. Then I thought if I even asked, he wouldn’t tell me. I was torn because I was concerned but at the same time what if I made it worse by asking?

I tried cutting my own thoughts by listening to Saerin talk on about her funny experience with a guy she hooked up with last year. Everyone laughed as she bashed on him.

Yura suddenly stops herself “Wait, you better not talk bad about my brother like this one day”

Now we were all laughing at Saerin. Yura wraps her arms around Saerin and smiles. Suddenly I felt a hand pat my side and a low voice whisper in my ear.

“Let’s leave”

When I turn around I immediately knew my eyes would meet with Sehun’s. He takes my hand, not giving me a chance to say bye to anyone.

Saerin shouts in a playful sarcastic tone “Bye guys!”

Sehun and I sat in the same rock every time we came to the bluffs. It started to get chilly and I began to rub my sleeveless arms. I knew I shouldn’t have worn shorts and a cropped lose tank.  I pull my legs towards me and wrap myself to get warm.

Sehun stands up and stares at me “Just ask”

He takes off his plain plaid long sleeve shirt and wraps it around me and walks off towards the edge of the cliff. I take his shirt and without meaning to, smell his scent as I put it on. It fit big on me but it kept me warm. I smile and decide to join to stand next to him.

“Okay” I whisper “It’s time”

He continues looking out “For?”

“For you to tell me the truth” I pause “You can’t keep me in the dark.”

He doesn’t reply so I continue

“I can tell when something is bothering you.” I my lips “You can tell me anything.”

He nods “I want to go to MUFC”

Confusion was swirling my thoughts “What?”

“You asked what I want to do after high school and I want to go to London.”

I had no idea where he was going with this but it was a confession and I’ll take it.

“I’ve never heard of that college?”

“That’s because it’s not.” He pauses “I want to take Daehun to a Manchester soccer game”

“So that’s your plan after graduation, a soccer game?”

“I open up to you and you make fun of me?”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my left ear “I’m not, you just sell yourself short.”

“You said I can tell you anything”

He walks towards his car and I assumed he was ready to leave. I sigh as he continued to drive me crazy with his bizarre behavior. I open the door and sit in the car with him.

“You can”

I continue the conversation but I pause giving him a minute, waiting for him to tell me the real reason behind why he seemed upset about his birthday but he gave me nothing.

“So,” I pause “does Daehun know about this game?”

He shakes his head “I can’t ruin the surprise”

“Why do you want to go to a soccer game and not worry about your college applications?”

“The sky is the limit” He faces me

I stare at those warm brown eyes that I can’t figure out “Yeah, it is”

Suddenly the topic about colleges made me more curious about what he plans on doing.

“Have you applied to any?”

He scoffs “What are my plans not good enough for you miss perfect?”

I pull my eyebrows together to how quickly he got upset with me “I never said that”

“You make it seem that way.”

“I’m just trying to help you get your life back on track. If I want you to go to college is because I care” I defend myself

“Do you really care or do you care what will people think if you had a loser boyfriend?”

There was so much I wanted to respond to that sentence but I ignore it.

“You have potential Sehun” My voice became strong and outspoken “You have the ability to do anything you want. You can even start dancing again”

“Why do you have to push me so hard to be the person you want me to be huh?” He uses a strong voice back “Why can’t you just stop trying to make me fit into your perfect life and let me be the person that I am?”

I catch his hands turn into fist. I had no idea how this conversation got carried away or how it even got here. I repeated his words over and over again in my mind. As I thought it through, there was nothing wrong with Sehun not wanting to go to college and if that was his decision then I would stand behind it because I love him. As the words escaped my mind, my heart tightened at the thought, the feeling that felt completely right to admit to myself.

“I love the person that you are.”

His fists unravel not responding back to me. He sits there quietly and starts the car.

My phone vibrates and I received a text message from Kyungri asking if I gave him his present yet and another one from Saerin who was teasing me about it even though she had no idea what it was. As I reply back to both of them I feel the car moving but when I look up I notice we’re moving backwards. Sehun sat there not doing anything about it.

“Sehun, the car is on reverse” I warn him and he didn’t react to it. The car continues to travel backwards “Sehun”

Again, he doesn’t say anything. I put my phone down and try putting the car on park but before I can reach the clutch Sehun holds onto my wrist.

“What are you doing?” I panic and he closes his eyes ignoring me

The car was moving slowly “Press the breaks!”

I try loosening from his grip to try and stop the car myself but he wouldn’t let go.

“Sehun stop the car” I raise my voice as I began to panic. “Stop the car right now”

My hands were no use, why wasn’t he letting me go? Why is he allowing this? Fear was taking over every inch of my body. I kept trying to fight him off but his grip was strong and it began to hurt from moving them around.

“We’re going to tip over, stop!” I shout “It isn’t funny”

As I yelled at him he began to talk over me and since I was trying to put sense into him I couldn’t really understand or hear what he was saying. But it sounded like he was mocking me in a quiet way. What the is his problem?

“Sehun stop!”

I shut my eyes preparing myself to die but the car jerked me as he aggressively pressed the brakes and parked the car. His hands let me go and as soon as I’m free, I get out of his car. The wheels were an inch away. I open the door and feel beyond angry.

“What the was that? You don’t do like that. Do you realize what could have happened?”

“Yeah, imagine what would have happened to my car” He replies in a dry tone.

I couldn’t believe he made a joke out of this. I walk away not ready to get back in the car when I was outrageously mad, beyond angry with him. I tried catching my breath thinking of how close he was and how he didn’t bother to stop the car.

The ride back was dead silent. I couldn’t speak to him. I couldn’t find words to ask why he did that. My mind had so many questions that I started to feel overwhelmed and now, worried.

He stops in front of my home and doesn’t say anything to me.

“Did you want to go over?” I held my angry tears back, fearing his response.

“I wasn’t even close”

“Yes you were” I snap back with worry

“You don’t even know what close is”

“Don’t give me one of your bull lines, I know what close is and that was close.”

I stare at him and he stared blankly at his steering wheel. “Goodnight Hayoung.”

He doesn’t bother to look at me in the eyes. He sits there, waiting for me to leave while I began to worry for his dumb .

I sigh “Take care, okay?”

Without another word from either one of us, I get out of his car and head back inside.

When I make it to my room my anger turned into discomfort. Even if I was still a bit upset I didn’t want to leave him, I had fear for him and I just hoped he doesn’t try or never will attempt anything like that again.