Drunk
It's Complicated
Choi Minhwan’s POV:
I’ve never seen Jaejin-hyung so broken like this before and I’ve never expected to see him like this as well. I’ve seen him sad when Yei and he broke up, but not like THIS. I was staring at him as he consumed his 5th bottle of beer while I am just half way of my 2nd.
“You’ll get drunk soon if you drink that fast.” I warned him.
“EEEHH?!!! BUT THAT’S WHY WE’RE DRIIIINNKKIIIINNGG!!! TO GET DRUUUUUUUUUNK!” He is obviously drunk all right. I just laughed at hyung’s remark as I watched him open another bottle, looks like this night is not going to be that long. I waited for him to start the conversation but he never did and he’s already drinking his 6th bottle so I decided to take the initiative. He must let out his feelings or else he’s going to get drunk by the misery not by the alcohol.
“Jaejin-hyung, can I ask you something?” I said. Not sure if I’m digging my own grave with what I’m doing.
“Sure.” He giggled, obviously he cannot think straight much anymore.
“Why were you with Mina-noona earlier?” The silliness in his face faded when he heard her name.
“She owes me ice cream from before so she just paid me back that’s all.” He gulped the remaining contents of his 6th bottle and opened another.
“Jaejin-hyung, you don’t have to pretend when you’re in front of me.” But he ignored what I said and gulped his beer. Looks like this is going to be harder than I thought. I decided to give it a try again.
“Jonghun-hyung is not here, no one is here except me so there’s no reason for you to pretend.” He’s ignoring me completely, seems like I have to be harshly frank by what I meant. “HYUNG! YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HER!” He was coughing desperately, trying to get rid of the alcohol that entered his lungs when I screamed to his face the obvious fact. He must’ve been caught off guard so he got choked b the alcohol. I let him calm down from his coughing which felt more like drowning of sadness to me. He took a deep breath and he seemed like he’s thinking of words to say.
“What should I do?” He said in a very weak voice, like that of a person who is so desperate that he lost hope already. His head was lowered the entire time so I’m not sure if I caught the words right.
“What should I do Minhwan? What should I do?” He started sobbing which made me rush to his side to give him a little strength. “I love her so much Minhwan, I have always been. And I have always been denying that fact for a long time already. I thought I can forget her but I guess I’m wrong. When I saw her with Jonghun-hyung, I cannot deny that feelings any longer. What should I do? It hurts Minhwan… It hurts..” His voice broke off as he said that he was hurt. He was crying so desperately. I never have imagined that someone like Jaejin-hyung could be hurt this badly.
“I don’t know how many times I let her walk away or taken away by someone else. I’m always too afraid because of what I did to her. I’ve seen her with someone else but I know that they wouldn’t last long because I know if she’s into him or not. I know I tell you I know…” He cried harder though he was crying very hard already.
“So when Jonghun-hyung and her started going out, I know I lost her for real. I let her get taken away again Minhwan, I let it happen again…” I let him cry all night at least this way, he can show all those feelings he hid for a very long time. He calmed down after minutes of crying. I’m glad that he was able to release all the years of pain he was hiding. He then dozed off after crying so much.
What happened tonight left me wondering and all. Jaejin-hyung loves her so much and yet he let so many chances passed by. Aish! Why is this love so complicated?
author: wasn't supposed to put this up yet but i promised unnie i'll post it for her.. xD so yeah.. and also I AM WARNING YOU ABOUT THE NEXT CHAPTER.. XDD no it doesn't contain H scenes.. :)) lol but *sigh* some will find it diappointing.. T^T OTL OTL
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