I groaned and stretched when bird chirped outside my window. I woke up from my deep sleep and realized where I was. I fell asleep and was in my parents’ house, not to mention being in my old room gave me a funny feeling. I remember when I was always busy with college and came home once a while. My umma didn’t bother much with my room but it was always clean. Dust was barely seen but clothes was all over the carpet. There were barely area to step a foot on my carpet but it was different now. I sat up and wanted to sleep more but I probably won’t be able to anymore. My eyes roamed through my room and it was like memories were captured in here. In pictures, writings, books, drawings, CDs, movies and other things. I caress my stomach and smiled as I looked down to it.

“One day, umma will share everything to you. When that day comes, I guess I’ll be able to find my laughter again.”

“Jin Ae?” A soft call came from the other side of my door.

I opened it and my unni flinched at the brightness in my room without the lights on.

“Is this Heaven or something?” She commented as she covered her eyes.

“If mine is Heaven, yours must be Hell.” I sarcastically said and she slapped my arm.

“Get ready and we‘re going shopping.”

“Why?”

“A request from someone.”

“Who? You?”

“Who else?” She boasted.

“This is truly hell.” I heaved out and she gave me a look.

“Hurry~ We‘re leaving at about…” She peeked in to look at my clock.

“10?”

“10?!” I widen my eyes and turned to my clock.

So I have slept for 13 hours STRAIGHT?! Oh well, pregnancy. Who can I blame besides the baby? Just kidding.

“Hurry!” She rushed me then went down first.

**Soo Hee‘s POV**

I was getting worried about my dear dongsaeng. She seems to be restraining a lot of things from me. I knew she wasn’t telling me everything about her marriage and I could just tell. Even if she wasn’t a person who would always have a smile on, I could see peace in her when she stands in front of me but lately the feelings were revealing itself to me. Her smiles looked horrible and so fake that I was sure she would win a award for the ugliest smile but it was growing too obvious.

“Is Jaejoong going to pick you up today?” I asked out of the blue.

“I don‘t know. I haven‘t call him yet.” She plainly answered.

“Oh…”

“Dongsaeng…”

“Hm?”

“Is something wrong at home?” I asked in a serious and worried tone.

“Aniyo… Why?” She shook her head with a slight smile.

“Nothing. Maybe I was thinking too much since you‘re having another baby.” I rubbed her stomach and she sighed.

“I don‘t know how to tell umma and appa about this. I‘m scared I‘ll disappoint them again. Unni, why do I have such bad lucks with babies? It‘s so sad…” She sounded like she needed her moment to cry.

“Stupid, why would you think like that?” I poked her head and smiled at her once she looked up to me.

“The baby will turn out fine and we will all wait for that day which will be about… 7 more months, right?” I gave her a unsure look.

“Yea, something like that.” She replied.

I her hair and continued to look at her sadness that was captured in her heart, slowly growing in her.

-FLASHBACKS-

I heard loud gagging and puking one night and woke up to see Jin Ae leaning over the toilet seat.

“Jin Ae?” I rubbed my tired eyes and pat her back.

“Are you sick?”

Her eyes were filled with tears and her face was a soft color pink. She gripped on the toilet seat as she puked, I was disgusted but I waited until she puked EVERYTHING out. Once she was done and we sat in her room, she was closing her eyes preparing to sleep but I had questions I needed answers for.

“You‘re pregnant, right?” I asked the question even when it was obvious already.

She didn’t open her eyes nor did she answer me.

“Jin Ae, answer me.” I demanded and she sat up.

“I’m planning to go live on my own for a year.” She calmly responded.

“So it‘s true?”

She kept quiet and didn’t reply which meant that she didn’t want our parents to know about the baby.

“Who‘s the father of the baby?” I asked her in a very serious voice.

“I can‘t marry him.”

“Why?”

“Because----” Her eyes stared into mine with pain then she stopped.

“Because he doesn‘t truly loves me.” She sounded disappointed.

“Wait-- So you‘re saying that you slept with some guy? Was this some kind of one night stand or something?!”

“Mm… sort of but not really. I wasn‘t drunk though.” She confessed.

I frustratingly sigh as Jin Ae twisted her fingers around.

“Does he know about this?”

“No.”

“Why aren’t you telling him?!” I raised my voice along with my anger but kept it down so our parents wouldn’t hear us.

“Because… If he doesn‘t love me, will he admit that he is the father of my child? Unni, I didn‘t think this type of situation would be this hard. Some women would prefer to abort a child that would cling on them forever or a child who has no father but I don‘t have the heart to do this to my own child who is inside of me. I don‘t need Jaejoong to be a part of the baby‘s life if he doesn‘t want to. I can support this baby even if it means I will use all the sweat in my body to keep both of us alive.” She was close to tears with every word she said.

This was the very first time I saw the soft side of my dongsaeng. The other times when I saw her soft side were during our childhood when every little thing matters but the situation now was more than that. It was something that will affect everyone even the baby, my niece or nephew, in the future. I’m her unni after all and I must help her even if it means that I have to kick the baby’s father in the balls and cursed him NEVER EVER to have kids anymore and hopefully he’ll burn to hell. It was hard and I knew it really was.

“I don‘t care if he loves you or not or you love him or not but YOU WILL TELL HIM TO MAN UP AND ADMIT THAT HE IS THE FATHER, araso?!”

-----

It was finally Jin Ae’s wedding and families gathered with joy and happiness for this event. Kids ran around and adults just drink their way to getting drunk before the party was going to happen. I had to greet the guests with my parents so I didn’t get the chance to stay with Jin Ae until all the guests were here. I went to the bride’s room and Jin Ae was playing around with her veil.

“Not ready?” I popped in and she turned around.

“Can I just be a runaway bride?” She frowned and sat down.

“Yea BUT after I leave the room so I won‘t witness your escape.” I and she scoffed.

The last time I could recall seeing her turn around when I yelled out her name was ages ago when she was still a little girl with black long hair and straight bangs across her forehead. Today she was a grown lady who was going to start a life of her own also having a kid unlike me who is still waiting for Mr. Perfect.

“Look…”

I touched the soft skin of her cheek.

“It‘s about time you realize that you‘re getting into reality. Marriage isn‘t easy and I believe you know this already but…” I trailed off as my lips shivered and tears rambled in my eyes.

“My dear Jin Ae… you‘re getting married and once today is over, tomorrow will never be the same but it will be a new day. A new start for you. Guys are stupid jerks and I didn‘t get to see if Jaejoong is some kind of dumb bastard or not but with today‘s ceremony, you will be the change in him and he will be for you as will. I have watched you grow since the day you were born and you turned out to be such a beautiful lady…” Tears formed in my eyes.

“Unni…” She cooed in a comforting voice then hugged me.

“Don‘t cry. It‘s not as if I‘m marrying someone who will take me away to somewhere I don‘t know of. I will still be close to you, umma and appa. I promise that I will be a good wife and mother.” She held on to my hands with her words.

-END-

Those were the times of her life that I felt she was the most intense at. She did transform into a good wife, well soft of, and a mother but sadly, the first had to leave too early. Another one was on the way and I was happy about it. My Jin Ae was growing faster than I thought and if I had the chance to, I would watch her grow again .

**Jin Ae‘s POV**

After shopping the whole day, I was exhausted and ready to kill myself with all the things my unni bought. She wasn’t even sure if I was having a boy or a girl before she bought what she felt that were needed. Jaejoong called a few times but they were all missed. I didn’t bother to call back even when I opened his number and my thumb was on the ‘Call’ button. I had to end it every time I felt a little force in my thumb, wanting to press down. I lied to my parents that Jaejoong was going to be busy for the days that I have been at their house when the truth was that I wanted to be alone and away from him. I sat in my room with my Ipod like I had no life at all. I was surfing through the net and was so bored I could sleep more for the day. I was answering some polls on a site and I got addicted to it for a while. A random question popped up and it read: Define your best friend and why is she or he your best friend? By seeing this, it made me thought of her.

Have I done too much to her?

**Hana‘s POV**

Have I done too much to her?

Why should I need to worry?

What kind of friend is she?

Am I starting to care for her now?

No, I can’t.

She was the one who started this so I’m going to end it by taking Jaejoong away from her.

He’s mine and was never hers so he should never be with her.

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[A/N Sorry! I couldn't update the past days because my internet DIED on me and... school? Anyways uh... can't think of anymore to say but I think this story will last a VERY long time. AHA. Also I'm enjoying talking to some of my readers so if other readers want to talk to me, just simply introduce yourself. I won't bite, FOR SURE (:]

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TEASERS:

How was I able to love one person less than one year? One year?

~~~~

“I hope you didn‘t forget your lunch with Jin Kyung today.” He reminded me.

~~~~

Well my point of this tape is to tell you how I actually feel for you. I don‘t know why I can‘t do this in front of you but at this time, you‘re not content to see me so please just listen to my voice as I speak my words to you through this tape.

~~~~

What if he wants me to divorce Jaejoong?

What about the baby?

Will he ask me to give full custody to them once the baby is born?

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THANK YOU FOR READING AND COMMENTING! :)
UPDATED : SEP 18. 2010