Chpater 43: Fears
[Yuri's POV]
FEARS
FEARS
FEARS
FEARS
thats it, thats the only thing I can feel tonight after making myself look like a fcking idiot and desperate infront of Jonghyun, I feel
ashame for knowing that after all those years, Im still inlove with his big jerk friend.
"No,Jonghyun" I mumbled between my tears.
"let him leave" I breathe under my throat.
"Not when I saw him holding a boquet of flowers" he replied,shooking his head. "what about the flowers?" I asked,stil hugging him tightly,not wanting to let go of him.
" me,Yul, I know those flowers and Im 100% sure thats for you" Jonghyun said,nodding.
"I may not know whats the name of that damn thing, but I swear to god, because of the flower,you gave me a chance to be your boyfriend." he added,still staring at minho
My face cant help but to crumple in confuseness. I unfold my arms around his neck.It took me a minute before turning around to find him,standing besides the street light, he was wearing his favorite colorless clothes,those coat that reaches beneath his kness. The big jerk that I've been chasing.
I nibbled my lower lip and breathe heavily,I faced Jognhyun who was only a few distance with me. "Jjong~" I called out,softly reaching out his arms,squeezing it. "Im scared" I muttered,tears dropping down on my cheeks.
I gently gulp before sniffing again."look,I can't face him today especially when I feel so misreable"
"I promise to you Jjong, I will face him,just not today.." I lied,looking down on my feet,playing with my fingers.I lean froward on his ear and whispered "thank you for everything, I owe you a lot."
I went home with Jonghyun. As soon as we arrive he told me to the living room.
I stand infront of him,who was busy watching T.V alone under the dark."what?" I asked,raising my eyebrow at him. he sat up and pat the space besides me. I stare at him for a few seconds,blinking. It took long before he pulled my arms to make me sit besides him.
he crul his kness up and faced me,tilting his head. My lips formed a smirked,staring at him back,not wanting to give up.not realizing the time,I felt a familiar figure apear nothing bothering me at all
"god,until when the two of you will romantically stare at each other?" a familiar voice commented,walking near at the two stupid idots.he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.Both of us turn our heads at him,looking up at him.
Jonghyun then blinked and said."romantic my feet, this jerk made Yuri cry again" he said in a soft and gentle voice,pointing his index finger at me.
"well I will be more surprise if ,Minho end up crying" key replied.everyone knew I rare crying,cause when I do,they know Im dead serious. little they did know,I cried while chasing Yuri's taxi when she left.thos past that hurt not only my pride but only my feelings as a human, thats my biggest and strongest question that I wanted to know,why she left with out a valid reason.
"Kibum,you kno-" before Jonghyun could protest over him a loud noise broke upstairs,causing key to shout.
"LEE TAEMIN,WHAT IN THE WOLRD DID YOU FCKING DO AGAIN?!?!?111" he hsouted at the buttom of his throat,making heavily steps forward to reach the second floor.
"MINHO!" Jonghyun suddenly shouted,causing me to get startled. "b-bwo??!"
"I wont take this any longer, this is my last warning as your hyung." he took a deep glup afterclearing his throat.
"Yuri still loves you.." he paused and I gaze at him,blinking as if I didnt care at all. "thats it?" I commented,tapping my hans on my lap as if its nonsense.
Jonghyun shook his head while saying "damn it, I knew you will act this way"
"the girl is scared,dude. I may not know what it is but Im pretty damn sure she learn her lesson after leaving you.I know you know why Im always with her, why I always stick around her y-"
"you like her?"
"WHAT1? OF COURSE NOT! dude you know I would never betray you,especially if its the girl you love.." Jonghyun paused.
he then sighn heavily before speaking again "this flowers?" he chuckled as my eyes got wider in surprise. I throw that thing before going home but seeing it again makes my nerves feel nervous. "YAH-"
"no-uh,sugar boy" Jonghyun spoke,putting the tulips away from me. "I know baby boy, you stil lover her too and the fact that you bought her flowers makes me a proud daddy,I didnt let her talk to you for tonight,I think she needs space"
"start all over again,Minho,its not that bad" Jonghyun patted my shoulder as he stood up from the sofa. "dont ler your past ruined your future" he whispered before throwing the boquet on my face and leaving me alone.
Sure its true that this pink tulips was for her but its not gonna stop me from making me feel left behind. I stare at the flowers,thinking deeply.
One week has been past and Yuri was not yet attendting his work. After that incident when she felt so stupid and desperate for wanting Minho to come back,there was not a day she cried so hard, Yes she is eating but its not enough. All she did the whole week was to stay inside of her room, still ashame infront of Jonghyun for forcing him to be with her to make his friend jealous ,when in the end everything fall a part.
"Im scared" she mumbled to herself,her voice was cracking. "How am I suppose to face my life when I feel so weak and miserable? " she continued to talk to herself,crumpling the sheets of her bed while crying.
" I shouldnt have done that.."
"I shoulnt have belive her.."
"I shoulnt have left him..." she said lasty,catching her breathe from all the heavily weep she got.
A knocked echoed inside her dark room,hearing his step-brother's voice lift Yuri's head from curiosty."Yul-ah?"
"you have visitor,he is in the livingroom..you will come out right?.okay" Yunho said,soundign a little but of worried.
Moments later Yuri didnt care who was it but then she got up and wipe her tears,facing the mirror,only realizing her eyes got swallowed. she sighned and turn the door knob,not giving a single fck to anyone.She slowsly move her heavily feet down stairs to meet the visitor.
"Aigooo Noona~" A familair laugh can be heard down the floor,making Yuri frowned,but in the end she didnt want her siblings to know how misreable she is.The only thing she could replied everytime her sibling asked her if she is okay is "No,I feel sick". its surpsing to know that a girl like her is honest,Indeed she feel sick but they didnt knew why and how and Yuri just let them understand and assumed that its because of her work in modeling that cause her like that besides she always complains about how irrating her boss is.
As the youngest among them she didnt want them to feel burden because of a guy,not wanting her back.Even though she didnt grew up with her parents, she was thankful that there was a guy like Yunho and Boa that didnt abandon her.
she continued her heavily foots steps to arrive at he living room. "There you a dear~" her sister, Boa greeted,putting her arms around Yuri.
"remember Minho?" she said patting her sister's shoulder while smiling.Of course her sister knew about their past relationship but not the fact that her younger sister is still chasing this handsome tall man.Boa only knew that everything was left behind in korea since Yuri only to told her that she has not interest in Minho anymore, after thatincident at the road happened. Yuri may not told about it to her sister nor step brother but Yunho knew about it,that she's been crying for a week and that she has been chasing him ever since they met again. She was overprotective to Yuri. there was once a fight between Yunho and Yuri,Yuri was so angry to yunho for beign such a overprotective brother and that she was so unwell during those days. why? because Yunho didnt want to see Yuri crying over decent guy again. So Yuri promised Yunho that SHE WILL NEVER LOVE MINHO AGAIN. but not today.
Yunho was just holding himself not join Yuri 's conversationg with Minho since he know to himself that he might end up beating Minho even though he knows to himself its wrong.
"AH!!1 oh,hmm~ of course, high school friend" Yuri replied,releasing a fake and nervous chuckle.
Boa pulled Yunho out,dragging him out the backyard as the two of them start talking.she know something was fishy between the two after seeing Yunho's burning eyes towards Yuri and Minho.
"h-hey" Minho greeted,standing up from his seat. Yuri ignored him and sat at the coach infront of Minho. She didnt said anythung but instead she blinked at Minho causing him to sat on the coach and scratch his head. "what?" Yuri asked her.
"how are you?"" he asked in a very soft tone. he made a face plam as soon as he realize he asked a very stupid question.
"your eyes..what happened?" and again another stupid question,this time he hit his head and chuckled.
There was a silence as the time goes by and minho snapped his fingers "ah!" breaking the bad atmosphere. "I bought yor fave flowers"
"oh also your fave TAKOYAKI" he said putting everying the the coffe table. "Im older than you right?" Yuri drop Minho's topic,crossing his arms. "why is that I havent hear you called me noona? not even once" she complained
Minho cant help but to chuckled."now this is more comfortable" They never had a very quite and nice conversation,causing them to feel more comfortable with a very teasing and shouting conversation and by that they didnt complain though,as logn as they were both comfortable it doesnt matter if another party is dropping its infromalities or moral,Their kind of relationship is lovign and hating each other.
"really minho? REALLY?" Yuri said in a irrtating tone.
"WHY? why are you here?" Yur asked again,stiring on her steat.Minho ignored her ,the only thing he can do was to blink at her,knowing that he might explode any moment at Yuri's suddenly behaviour.
"DAMN IT MINHO I NEED YOUR EXPLANATIO-" her voice was almost shouting but he got cut off when Minho release a loud response.
"EXPLANATION? FCK IT ,YURI. YOU LEFT AND CAME BACK AGAIN WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION. THATS MORE ENOUGH NEEDED AN EXPLANATION, NOW TELL ME, WHY????" The girl shut ,frowing
Minho asked her all over again."why yuri? why did you left me?" this time his voice was calmer but with the sound of it,it was mix with desperation of answer.
they stare at each other ,there was a intense between the contact "I WAS SCARED!" she spoke,curling herself up in her seat,shaking and crying.
"what are yous afraid of??-"
"My aunt threaten me,minho SHE TREATEN ME FOR MAKING YOU MY BOYFRIEND and worst of all my FIANCE
The coming of school year for collage student was near and of course their summer break will be end soon but it wont stop Minho and Yuri for being together.
It was late afternoon the two lover birds was having picnic on the park.Everything was place neatly ,the red white stripes of the blanket they are using,the baskey that placed on top of it.
"Aish,Didnt I tell you to wear dress?" Minho complained,scanning his eys on Yuri who was wearing jeans and simple shirt.
"Ah wae,do I have? its uncomofrtable" she pouted like kid,sitting on the grass with a blanket on it,munching her bread.
Minho chuckled and sat besides her and said "here,Key bought this for you, he wanted you to wear it today"
"does HE really want it or YOU were the one who wanted it? tsh" she replies digging her hands inside the paper bag.
"whats this? DRESS" she gasped. "woah jinja,I knew you were the one who wanted it not him" Yuri complained as she pulled it out,looking how simple and yet beautiful it is.
"ehhh its too .."she made a pause for a moment,scratching her head.
"come on,wear it...for me hmm?" Minho begged
"and whats the return of your favor if I wear this?" her girlfriend asked,crossing her arms.
suddenly Minho just grined at her "A gift..."
She then stod up and brush off her jeans "dont talk like that, you look scary" she laughed and turn her back,making her way to find a nearby bathroom.
It wasn not that easy for Yuri to wear dress, especially it is a simple sleevess one,they all know how boyish she was.pulling her lower dress down,preventing to reveal her legs.she didnt care at all if hair hair gets mess up from scratching,Yuri was frownign till he met Minho again who was,smiling like an idiot to himself,Yuri was obidient enough to walk near to him asm uch as his boyfriend wan to.
"ehhh~ this is uncomfortable" she whined,making weird faces.
"well not in my eyes" her boyfriend replied, tucking her hair behind her ear after she sat besides him.the girl blushed and bit her lip to prevent getting caught how flattered she was from Minho's chessy words.
later on The guy wrapped his arms around Yuri's waist,nuzzling his face on her neck while Yuri turn away her head.As minho close his eyes,feeling the warmth of her girlfriend ,he open his eyes and a cute and tiny flower welcome his eyes, he lean his hands forward and picked it up,chckling to himself after having a small idea.
"yul-ah~" he called out,grabbing Yuri's head to face him, and as soon as he was done he laugh,putting the flower on her tucked hair.
"ahhh~ Im starving" Yuri excused as her nerves tense up. she got up put end up being pulled by minho's strong arms. it cause her to fall on top minho,a smile form on minho's lips as their face was only an inch away. "Y-yah minho~" she randomly said,blinking his eyelash.
The guy ignore his girlfriend but instead he pressed his lips on her,closing his eyes,of course as a very nervous person Yuri's eyes wide open,. she was about to tell minho to not to act very cling on her in public especially now that she feel on him as his stupid boyfriend pulled her,as one of the happiest peron on earth she cant help but to grin between their kisses,influencing his boyrfiend to laugh as they kiss. as their lips seperate they both stare at each other for a while minho hugged Yuri from the waist,rolling themselve on the field of grass,"Aigoo Minho" Yuri grinned between her laughs.
Minho got up first and helped Yuri to stand up but as soon as Yuri finished brush her dirty from the ground ,Minho kneeled his one leg down,Yuri lloked around,trying to stop minho from kneeling down. "choi minho,get up" she muttered under her teeth,pulling her boyfriend's collar. As Yuri continued to looked around her friend appeared wit Minho's friends and other people who are close with them,holding ballons and flowers.
Yuri glanced back to Minho,who was already showing her a rinf inside the tiny box,her eys caught it and just like before her nevres tense up making her whole body and feelings shake. "wil you marry me?" Minho finally spoke as he showed the sweetest smile.
the people in the park got crowed because of the loud cheering of her friends. Yur gulped ,still letting her eyes scan around the area,making her feel pressure. "I-I-I..Minh-"
"whos the tall guy he seems handsome but not very ambitious"
"why dont you just leave that guy alone "
"arent you scared that he might end up like your dad? who's only dream is to be depend on your mom"
"he wont make you happy, he will make you suffer. SO LEAVE THE OUF OF HIM"
"If you wont listen to me, you will end up having a unhappy life like your mother and father"
If you ask yuri what she hate the most, it will be her aunt's voice. it never stop her from thinking how scared she was for not being able to be with her own parents. she becomes sensitive making "family" the topic and now that minho proposed to her,little his boyfr knew that she was scared of getting married, she never told it to him cause the guy might be worried and start asking question about his family so everytime Minho mention about her parents she just simply reply that she is happy with her sister especially when she finally have a brother even thought he was only a step-brother.
[END OF FLASBACK]
Minho she treaten me,she told me that I shouldnt marry a guy like you who's onlys passionate is for soccer. I WAS SCARED YOU MIGHT END UP LIKE MY DAD. my dad" I explained. that will be my always reason everytime he will ask me why I left him.having an anxiety is not easy and it is not very okay to be felt by it, they didnt knew how bad I feel. Everytime I throw questions abuot my dad to boa unnie nor to some close relative,I never heard a compliment. Thats when My anxiety starts to grew bigger, not knowing my dad and my aunt telling me that minho is my dad pissed me of.
"soccer?" Minho questioned insdie his head,making all him confuse. without any words,he got up from his seat and left the Yuri quietly.hearing the soft shut of the door,Yuri straghten up her seat and tiltd her head "he left..."
"so this is how it feels..to be left by someone without any explanation" she whispered to herself as she bit her lip.
~~
"yah~!" Boa called out punching his step brother's shoulder after sitting at the swing.both of them are at he backyard.
the younger girl looked down as she played with her fingers,talking gently as she try to persuade her strp-brother"I know you know something,and you really have to tell me before I end up getting mad at you"
Yunho ignored him,thats it. he choose to ignore her instead of explanation things that he knows he wont understand,not even a bit.
"oh come on~~~~" Boa whined,pouting like a kid.
Yunho glance at Boa,blinking at her."would you still accept me if I teel you?"
"OF COURSE I WILL,im your noona" Boa laugh after smacking his fist on yunho's shoulder.
"I still have a chance to have your sister right?" He asked
"why would you?" Boa chuckled,shooking her head.
Yunho then exclaimed "cause Im adopted"
Boa was too surprise at his response.So,her eyes grew bigger and stared at yunho weird. "not funny Yunho, not funny"
Yunho then smirked and his lips efore speaking again."its funny that to know that when someone tells the truth no one belives it but when someone heard a lie,everyone believes it"
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