“Siwon~ah..” Leeteuk really have no idea what to tell Siwon. He’s the only member Leeteuk never had to interfered in anything he did. He did and said all of that perfectly calculated, nothing was ever creating disturbance to the team. In contrary, he always gives benefits to the whole team. Not only once in the past Siwon got rumored with another girls, the other was even louder than this, however this time.. Leeteuk got so uneasy. They're about to have a comeback, after a couple of years. Full team!! This is the first time since around 5 years ago! But his own past scandal while in the military, the marriage plan, plus now Siwon, the team's face, has a high potential to has another scandal. As the team leader, Leeteuk really couldn't afford that. The feeling of somehiw betrayed by the other member that choose their personal interest above the team, when he gave his all to the team.

“Hyung.. I’ll manage it on my own. You know me.. right?” Siwon replies him weakly. “Don’t you trust me? I won't do anything reckless. I’m not going to marry her without the team permission.”

Leeteuk sighs. “Of course.. I believe you know what you’re doing..” He really doesn’t has the heart to tell otherwise. “But, stay low for a few moment please.. I'm sorry to remind you this, the team comes first, okay?”

“Okay..” answers Siwon weakly. There goes his plan to have a formal candle light dinner for your birthday after right after he’ll take you to the showcase for the new album. What to do now? Siwon couldn’t get his head straight when he’s get back to his script reading.

“Should we take a break, hyung?” The young manager could feel that Siwon’s not concentrating in his script reading. The work itself requires not only full concentration but foremost, a full emotional study. And Siwon is not delivering a single word well from his scripts.

Siwon use his time to call Eunhyuk.

“Where are you?”

“Practice room. I heard you’re here too. What are you doing?” Eunhyuk answer right away.

“Script reading. What are you practicing?”

“D&E. Do you want to come here? We’re taking a break. Donghae is looking for you.”

“Is Yongsun hyung there?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I’m not going then!”

Eunhyuk laughs. The young manager that accompanying Siwon to script reading, right in front of him is also laughing.

“Whyyy?” Eunhyuk is laughing his off. “We’re going to you! Wait!”

Siwon explains the whole things to Eunhyuk and Donghae as soon as they come to his room.

“I don’t think I went overboard. We’re never even go to the cinema or watching baseball. We never hit the public place.”

“The dinner? It's not a public event? Then why you take her to some even that she’s not even invited?” Donghae excitedly listens to Siwon while sipping his coffee.

“You talk exactly like her. We even argue about that last night. She’s just happened not be invited this year. But her colleagues were all over the places, and it perfectly normal for her to attend since his dad own the building. Also, I need to take her to the dinner anniversary. Because when we’re getting married, in far future...” Siwon emphasizes his last phase. “... I want the fans found our picture together in such event, so they knew she’s a worthy girl, so they’ll giving her their blessing.”

“Woah, you’re thinking about that too now?” Donghae comments with a blank face.

“You’re not?” Asks Siwon shocked.

“This guy is not thinking.” Eunhyuk shuts Donghae down, and gets back to Siwon. “I get what you’re trying to do.. but seeing the managers and Teuk Hyung kinda serious about it, can you just getting along for a while?” Hyuk glances at Donghae. “Teuk hyung scolded him not to long ago just because he’s answering his phone when hyung is talking about something. Hyung just being over sensitive right now.”

“He told me not to focus on dating, but it wasn’t even her who called. It’s a hyung I know from the gym. But I just nodded away and say ‘yes, hyung’. I tried not to touch my phone whenever I’m with him.” Donghae repeats Eunhyuk, “Hyung just being over sensitive right now.”

“But I feel like they especially put a spotlight on us since I brought her to the practice. Before this, I completely thought it was a nice move to introduce her formally to you guys.. But reminiscing what Teuk hyung said that day, I know something was off.”

“We already know her before you brought her.” Donghae throws a random comment again.

Siwon and Eunhyuk ignore him.

“And everybody at that time also comfortable with her presence. It was a nice move, nothing wrong with that.” Eunhyuk pats Siwon’s back strongly.

“No.. Why everything that I do lately seems wrong to everybody.. I tried to introduce her to you guys so you can accept her, but but you already hate our relationship without even looking at her personally. And I brought her to such event to bring out the best in her, but she found it uncomfortable. Plus now.. my manager and my leader thought like I abandoned the team for a girl!”

“Aniyaaa!! What are you talking about?? It just the timing that a bit off. Do you want to have a drink later on tonight?” Asks Donghae.

Siwon laughs, “I’m going to depart to Hong Kong in a few hours. Moreover, it’s not like you can still listen to me after a glass beer.”

“We have to practice all night long too!” Eunhyuk hits the back of Donghae’s head playfully. “But he’s got the point, the timing is a bit not right for our team. Maybe not showing her off in front of Teuk Hyung, Junghoon hyung, Inhwan hyung, and Yongsun hyung would be a smart way out, at this moment.” Eunhyuk just close his lips right when manager Yongsun open the door abruptly.

“What are you doing here? The dancers are all looking for you.” He’s noticing Siwon is looking at him. “Do you want coffee Siwon~ah?”

Siwon shakes his head.

Eunhyuk and Donghae are going back to the practice room and wishing Siwon good luck on his filming overseas.

“Stay low..” Eunhyuk says soundlessly behind Manager’s head.

After everyone got out and Siwon only left with his young manager, he grabs his script again. Trying to find the page that he’s currently reciting.

There goes his plan to take you to the new album’s showcase.

“Why hyung?” His manager asks him

“Nothing..”

“If you’re not in the mood, we can find some coffee or lunch..” he listened the whole conversation while Eunhyuk and Donghae were there.

“It’s just not convenient if we left the company now. Let’s just grab fancy dinner later on in Hong Kong.”

“I mean.. you can ask her to join us if you want to..” He’s whispering to Siwon.

Siwon smiles to him. “She’s working right now.. You’re so cute, thanks anyway.”

“Because hyung.. I’m here to assisting you, and if something troubling you..”

“Haha no, I’m just thinking... I already planned to take her to our showcase, then go to nice fine dine for her birthday on that day, but with all this spotlight.. I don’t even have the confidence to take a ride just the two of us.”

“If you want to listen to Eunhyuk hyung, then just take her to our next concert, hyung. Everybody will be there, so she won’t stand out.”

“I will take her to concert anyway. But I don’t have any special event for her at her birthday.”

“Just make a surprise dinner at her place instead then.. Cook for her, get a score from her, the rest of her night would be yours.”

“Oh!” Siwon’s then looking upward then thinks. A surprise will be a bit risky.. there’s a chance she’s not home or have dinner with her company or something. I should just ask her..

His manager somehow being flustered. He holds his laugh while his mind is somewhere it shouldn’t be.

“Nara yaah.. Earlier next month is your birthday and it will be on Friday right?” Siwon calls her right after he has time before the flight.

“Yes.” You couldn’t hold your blooming smile. How could he remember?

“Spend it with me, would you?” Siwon asks, well it’s more likely a confirmation rather than question.

“Of course..”

“Actually I planned to have a fine dine with you, but I have a schedule on that day.”

I know.. your showcase right? I already found out how to watch it and will get the tickets as soon as possible!! It’s on the same date as my birthday! How cool is that!! “Aah.. yeah.”

“I don’t think I can arrange a surprise between schedules like that.. So can we just celebrate it simply with dinner in your home?”

“Sure! Or.. should we just eat at your place? Since you’ll be getting home late from the showcase..”

“It’s up to you.. as long as we’re together, I don’t care where it’ll be.”

“Okay i’ll arrange things. Don’t you supposed to take off anytime soon?”

“Yeah, I already at the waiting room.

“Have a safe flight oppa.. see you then.”

“Thanks. I’ll call you again tomorrow okay! Love you..”

You grin like crazy. “Me too.”

You smile so wide while your imagination running wild. From the food you’ll need to prepare, the time you’ll be spending together, and the showcase.. Siwon oppa’s fans have no idea I have a new haircut, I can now blending with the crowd again. Yeay!

•D-day•

You’re in the middle of leaving your office when one of your employee peeks to your private room. She took you to a discussion for tomorrow’s selling event, when you already planned to leave the office on time, get home, take a shower, change your clothes, and go the showcase of your oppa’s new album.

But after an hour, the discussion doesn’t seem to be wrapped up anytime soon.

I’ll just come to the showcase venue with my working attire from here. Just buy face mask to cover your face on the way!

Another half an hour..

Can I get there an hour from here? They will allow me to come in even if I’m late, right? You check on your access ticket, they didn’t write anything about close gate there.

Your dad calls in the middle of your discussion.

“You’re coming home today right? Do you want to eat at home today or we should go to eat out? I just confirmed. The orient8 has king crab menu for today’s dinner.”

Family’s dinner..

Your heart falls to your stomach.

You both want to laugh and cry at the same time. Your family always had a special dinner for family member’s birthday every time all of you were in the same country. But you forgot to tell them that you had a prior engagement on your birthday today. “I can’t go home today, I’m sorry appa.. Should we have a lunch on Sunday instead? Tomorrow is the selling day. And don’t even think about the crab. You should watch your cholesterol level.”

Your dad laughs, “I’m not going to eat that much either.. I’ll diligently eat my medicine until our lunch together. Did you already had dinner?”

“Not yet. I’m still at the office to review some of the presentation for tomorrow..”

“Ah.. okay. Work hard with your employee! Especially in time like this.. buy them dinner.”

You fell into silent. Time like this.. “Appa.. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect the projects that you’ve trusted in my hand.”

You could hear your father take a deep breath. “Your road was being pretty easy so far.. from your college days, internships, until when your entering that company. You have to face hardship sometime, therefore you can learn different things.”

It almost brings you in tears. “But still, I’m sorry for you..”

“What the.. it’s your birthday! Don’t be this mellow.. go celebrate with your employee after this, treat them with beef!” Your father reminds you again.

“Okay. I’ll get going dad, see you on Sund..” you turn around just to find a few of your female employee carry a cake with a few lit candles.

“Happy birthday.. happy birthday, our beloved taepyonim.. happy birthday to you!!”

You’re so touched. Everybody begin to swarm around you.

“Blow the candles..”

“Make a wish first!”

You close your eyes.. For a happy love life and career life next year.. and you blow the candles.

“Should we have beef for dinner?” you teasingly smile to them. All of them cheer for you.

You didn’t got the chance to have a company dinner ever since you’re got into this position. So having almost all of your division employees gather up to celebrate your birthday really got you on good mood. Even though your heart is ticking with every second you’re late to the comeback performance. And they even ordering soju. You have no idea how to get out of this company dinner.

You’ve acquired a skill to always make your glass filled with water most of the time to avoid people filling it with soju. And you must not be drink alcohol to go to the showcase, so you ended up being the most sober person on the table through the middle of the dinner where everybody seem to deep in conversation in the inner group.

You found your gap to escape.

“Oppa.. here’s my card.” You whisper to your assistant. “Pay for the whole table.. and take them to round two if they want to.”

“You’re going somewhere?”

“Yes..”

“But isn’t your boyfriend has other schedule on your birthday? He just released a new album right? That’s why we arrange this for you.” he is also whispering dramatically.

Involuntarily, you raise your eyebrows because you’re shocked. They did this for me because my boyfriend couldn’t spend my birthday with me? “Yeah, he has. But I have to prepare something for.. tomorrow breakfast with my parent.” Damn.

“Ahh.. then you should be going, what do you need? The malls are going to be closed soon.. Do you want me to accompany you?”

You look at your watch. Ahhh ottohkkee? “Aniyo.. you just go to the second round with them. Okay then, I need to get going! Oppa, thank you very much!” And you look at your employees. Feeling guilty to leave them secretly. “Guys! Thank you so much for your surprise! This round is on me. So please comfortably go the round two after this, that’ll be on me too.. but I have to go though, so thank you again so much. Have a great night!”

Each of them then either hug you a happy birthday or give you a handshake. After that you just run to grab a taxi that’s not coming. You look at your watch again. It’s already too late. Should I just go there? Call the manager and wait at their waiting room?

You stand there for a couple of minutes and let a few cabs drive passing you. If you still go to the showcase and it already ended, you can"t see your oppa and couldn’t prepare the dinner too, since every restaurant will be closed by that time.

So you decided to let go of the showcase and go to the restaurant instead, buy take away meals, candle, flowers and beautiful dish in the process.

In Siwon house, after preparing all of that, get showered and tidying the house a little, you call Siwon around 11 pm but he’s not answering. You left a message to contact you whenever he gets free time.

So you spent another half an hour to roaming inside his house.

Wipe the spilled sauce on the plate with tissue.

Looking at his PlayStation game choices on the tv.

Turn it off.

Sent Kyuhyun a message that he doesn’t reply. (Of course he won’t reply, he’s at the same occasion with Siwon. If Siwon couldn’t call you back, then Kyuhyun surely couldn’t text you back too)

Planning your weekly work schedule on your notebook, because you didn’t bring your laptop.

Read every book title on Siwon’s books shelf.

Reply every birthday greeting you receive towards every media that you get.

Chat with Jenna.

Check upon the (now) cold steak on the dining table.

Blow the candles.

Fall asleep on the couch.

Wake up about an hour pass midnight, still no answer from Siwon. You call him again. That’s being directed to his voicemail.

His last call is 12 am yesterday, to wish you a happy birthday right a second after the day had changed to your birthday. And nothing after that. He said he was busy preparing comeback. So you’re kinda understand his situation. But he asked you to have a birthday dinner after the showcase at his house. It’s 1 am, the showcase must have been ended since hours ago. Why isn’t he coming home? Why he isn’t answering his phone?

You sit on the couch with mixed feeling. The house is really empty, like even the absent of the sounds inside this apartment create other weird buzzing sound on your own ear. It’s empty even with the heater on and your thick clothes, you can feel the chills creep inside your bones. It’s empty, like you don’t even have any specific thoughts, but a tears suddenly falling from the corner of your eyes.

Where is he?.

Thankyou for reading!! Please leave a lot of comment so i know what you think off the story <3 <3

10 February 2018