The Last Supper
Secret: Between The Two Idols
You find yourself stand beside your mom and smile to the cameras.
Beneath your calm smile, your brain works extra hard to think about the tinniest detail like how to put your hand while taking a picture, is it better to smile with your mouth close or showing some teeth, is your make up okay..?
Somebody tell you to step aside because the reporters want to take picture of your mom and dad alone.
.. is here any reporter here knows that I’m in a relationship with Siwon..
Everyone seems to behave on their top manner and full respect toward your father, as one of the staffs helping your mom step down from the platform.
.. is there anyone here knows me at all..
From the entrance, another car stop by. And a socialite with an exceptional choice of dress and make up just get off of her expensive car. All the cameras turn to her direction. The flashlight is blinding.
You don’t want to be recognized as Siwon’s girlfriend.. but not being acknowledged as his girlfriend is also.. seems underrated. That makes you feels like no one.
.. I don’t belong here..
... oppa does..
You finally walk away to the nearest deserted area first, without waiting for your mom and dad.
•••
“Are you still in the event?” The editor of A fashion magazine called soojin. Yours and Hyerin’s friend from high school. Soojin is currently has to covering the fashion style from all the guests for her magazine.
“I’m in the next building’s coffee shop, supervising the editing. Hyunmi is there with the photographer.”
“How are the celebrity’s dress this year?”
“Just the same.. a lot of young businessman’s wife or girlfriend wear a more high fashion elegant dress.”
“Have Siwon and Nara came?”
“Ehm no together but yes.. why?”
“Did they coordinated their color? Or wear matching something?”
Soojin looks up to her files, “Siwon wears black tie suit, while Nara wears bodycon taupe long dress, elbow length sleeve.. so no. No matching something too.. apparently she’s wearing one set of jewelry, some kind like rose.. Siwon wore none. No couple accessories.. Aah but he wears taupe handkerchief. Why why??”
“Is there any picture of them we can use as a evidence?”
“What?? I don’t think so.. why???”
“Nara’s best friend lives in LA right? What’s her name? Do you know her exact address?”
“Whyyy???? What’s happening??”
•••
Siwon is surprising you when he puts his hand at the crook of your back while greeting your parents.
The three of you are standing near your designated table, with a lot of higher up people from your company.
“Oh you’re here?” Your father nods, acknowledging his presence.
“Yes..” Siwon bows to your parents.
The crowds around you and your parents that consist of higher ups from your company or your father acquaintances turn their heads in unison to see Siwon.
Siwon slightly bow to them before looking sideways to see your face for the first time tonight.
The crowds turn their head in unison again to your direction. Although none of them are actually say anything, but their face yells the words out.
You got bothered by what they might think of you, and want to be slowly disappeared from here. While Siwon got speechless looking at your appearance. He wants to do more than just standing next to you in front of these people.
If it’s according to his heart, he would take your hand and run to the center of the stage and declare that this woman is his. But your subtle smile calms down his wild thought.
He loves your tone but dewy lipstick that makes your lips look so kissable, how you wear your make up lightly, just to enhance your sparkling eyes a bit, and a slight peach on your cheeks that makes you look like you’re blushed.
“Why?” You’re actually blushed when he looked at you like that. You’re in the middle of purify your thought that not all of your father relations or people form your company would think that you’re here just because Siwon brought you here, when you’re actually not eligible to attend this kind of event. But all of his body language towards you kinda make it too obvious that, Yes, you’re his .
“Are you staying at your mom home tonight?”
“I don’t know..”
“You’re going to sit on the table beside me right?”
“Are you not going to be in the same table as my parents?”
Siwon peeks to the table with name cards around the table. “I don’t think so.. isn’t this exclusively reserved for your father and his friend?” Whispers Siwon. “I got it designated on the far corner. My seat plus an empty seat for my plus one on the next table.”
You forcing a smile to him.
Sitting with Siwon alone, far away from your parents and people you know, but surrounded by people from his environment, sounds like another gala dinner that you’ve attended with him, few months ago. And there’s no single good thing accompanying that memory.
But now, not even sitting on the same table, you got a reserved seat on the table next to Siwon?
You involuntary following him in the end. Introducing yourself to a few Chinese and local celebrities on the same table as Siwon. A rather hanging and ambiguous introduction to be exact. The table beside that, contain some actress’s husband and some musician’s mentor/manager/friend from and an empty seat with a name card ‘Choi Siwon +’. This is the non-celebrity table.
“Oh hallo!” Someone greets you when you take your seat.
“Hi, I’m Shin Nara, nice to meet you.”
“Gong JooHyun, I’m Irene’s entourage, but also in duty for filming her during the event.. Sorry for the inconvenient, later on.”
“It’s okay.”
“And you..”
“Aah..” Once you said that you’re Siwon’s close dongsaeng, nobody really dig deeper again, thus, nobody really talking personally with you.
You look around, already feel uncomfortable because in this table no one really talking to another one, if they’re not coming from the same group. A group of three keep on talking in Chinese, a group of WaGs (maybe) keep on whispering between them, the actress’s husband just look around without a word.
If only you could sit in your own table, with Siwon too.. you believe you could lead a several conversations pretty well even with stranger businessmen that you met just today, to make you look more capable. Not just a smiling trophy like this.
“So you usually attending this kind of events?” Asks the middle age male musician that stands right next to you. He is still holding his glass, previously talking to his mentor/manager/friend, who seated next to you.
Siwon that just a few meters away from you heard the question. But you’re not even looking at the musician, and your eyes are empty. He had to move his chair several feet to call your name, to tell you that the man is asking you a question. You get your mind back to your current table and see Siwon is smiling and signaling you to the man.
“Aah.. me? This kind of events? Not really.. I mean my parents are.. But this is my first time attending an event for this foundation.” You’re blabbering nonsense.
Siwon stole a concerning glance at you before he talks to the musician.
“Her parents are right there. Her mom has done a lot of great act for this foundation..” Siwon points out to the area where your parents are.
The musician scrunches his forehead.
“Her parents.. So she’s not your biological sister?”
Siwon and you looking at each other for a second before laughing in unison. “Anieyo anieyo..”
“She’s a close dongsaeng..” Siwon reaches out to pats your shoulder.
Okay.. Here we go again.
The second before, you’re still in your laughing face, the next second you’re already exhale a long breath and look down. The musician looked at your expression then pretending to be interested to something else.
Siwon looks at you again.
You’re slouching on the chair and got your head hung down with messy expression. You’re mind is everywhere, like you don’t want to be here.
“Should we take a walk for a while?” He whispers to your ear. He thinks you need to get some air. The moment you’re about to look at him, Siwon already stands up and offers you with no hand.
You just look up at him and wait for him to offering his hand to help you stand up but he’s not doing that.
“The ceremony will be start in another ten minutes, so you can use the bathroom or something..” Siwon is still waiting for you to stand up. You finally stand up and follow two step behind him walking out of the main hall.
Right before you step outside the hall, you caught your mom following you with her eyes. So you just smile a little at her. To which she reply with a enthusiast wave and a big grin. Siwon always walk ahead of you like he doesn’t want to be seen with you, so you’re a feet father away from him. You're wandering what your mom thought about this.
“Do you need to use the bathroom?”
“No..” You look around. “Why you took me out here oppa?” You finally ask him when there’s no one around you anymore.
“Mm, I left my car at the hair salon near here, this evening. And tonight my manager will pick me up when the event had done and will drop me off to my car.” It’s so hard for siwon to just stand there in front of you when you’re looking like a goddess just by leaning against the wall. “I’ll drive here again to pick you up as soon as I get my car. It’ll probably take 20 minutes to drive there and back here, can you wait for me at the back entrance or somewhere deserted?” He really want to grab your hand.
“Okay..”
“Just tell me exactly where you’re waiting for me and the way to reach there.. You must be knowing all the convenient entrance or the back door right? After all, you’re the one who manage this building.”
You tilt your head, facing him. “I don’t.. I’m not managing this building. I do marketing for the residential buildings only. I don’t have any idea where the back door is. This is my first time setting my foot in this building.” He doesn't know anything about my job.
Siwon senses anger in your tone. “Okay.. then I’ll ask around.” He finally grab your hand. “Are you okay..?”
You exhale. Regretting that you got worked up just because Siwon doesn’t know your field of work. “Oppa.. can we just sit in my parent’s table?”
“No.. why??” Siwon whining cutely. “Everybody knows that I am the guest from bazaar. And got seated on that area.. what people will think if I sit on your area..? What do I come here as then?”
You got swayed by his cuteness for two second before hear his reasons and got worked up again. Why he always think about himself. You try to exhale again before you talk. Set your tone to the most calm tone you could ever produce in this stormy state of mind.
“You could sit there as my guest.. beside what does it makes me then? If I sit in your area.. what do I come here as? I’m not a celebrity, bazaar doesn’t know who I am. I’m not even your girlfriend..” you ended it a bit in high note.
“What do you mean you’re not even my girlfriend?” Siwon got furious.
“I’m just a close dongsaeng you know, right?”
Siwon roll his eyes, “Are we going to argue about that here? Now? How many time do I have to tell you..? It’s just..” Siwon squeezes your hand in his palm to get your senses back. “Nara.. we’ve talk about this..” but his words gets cut by announcement that the event will be starting soon.
“Let’s go inside.” You walk away from him to the main hall. Siwon trying to catches up with your step to walk beside you, but you keep two steps distance in front of him.
Both of you come back to your seats right before the ceremony begin, completely ignoring Siwon, you just politely answer when one of the Chinese actress that walks pass through you ask where have you been. Then come back to your resting bish face again.
Siwon scoots his chair closer to you. Then leaning to you to whispers, “That group of photographers are taking your picture right now. You might want to smile a little, to make the picture come out nice..” Siwon is subtly pointing a row of photographers that you didn’t see before in the corner. Then he smiles, smile his signature thin lip smile, his celebrity smile.
His smile that make your expression is between going to say ‘Whatttt???’ and about to vomit. There’re photographers inside this hall, a few of them are about to take picture of him. What the hell did he do, leaning and whispered something to you like this???
You force a smile in your face but leaning away from him in an instant. Scoot your chair farther for him in the process too. Left him flustered. He slide his chair back to his table.
You’re now with someone that is not someone who you used to love. This is Siwon with the celebrity demeanor. He puts himself first, he accentuates the ‘image’ more than what’s within, he’s not Siwon your boyfriend.
The rest of the even went by with you being away as far as you can from Siwon. Keep your hand tight above your thighs. Expression controlled. Lips sealed. Eyes fixed on the stage. You watch the event half hearted, your fight with Siwon and the photographers around you, occupied your whole mind.
For Siwon too, this dim lit didn’t even hide your blank expression that worried him. There’s no smile on your face at all. Even though you used to have that kind of smiley face even when you’re not intended to smile. Your eyes looking at the stage but he knows you’re not listening.
But what can I do right now??
He had no idea why you’re so whiny today. Today that he almost risk it all just to take you to an event where in a far future could do a favor for both of you. Not even in a far future.. Siwon thinks that you should get to know so much people here, many of them are the important ones, it could gives you leverage in your career. So rather than being troubled just because you’re not being introduced as his girlfriend, you should think more important stuff instead.
Absentmindedly, he choke down an entire glass of champagne when the waiters offer his table the drinks.
You look at him in disbelief.
How could he drinks when he said he would take his car to pick me up later on tonight??!!
You almost bit your lips off, channeling your anger towards him.
•••
It’s not midnight yet, but a bit too late for a work related phone call when a higher up from SM who’s dealing with their artists’s publicity, rumors and stuffs got a phone call.
“What?” He answers lazily.
“Sir! There’re some medias trying to confirm to us about Sungmin from Super Junior.”
“What about him?? They found out about the marriage?”
“No no no sir, they spotted him dating on a musical event. We already contacted the girl’s entertainment company, they are also on the hold to confirm about this matter.”
“Darn! How about the manager?”
“The off duty managers are in their way to the office sir.”
“Don’t say anything to the media yet. I’ll be there in fifteen.” He grabs his pants before he put down the phone, followed by a warning glare from his wife.
Manager Yongsun and Inhwan are looking to each other before entering the meeting room.
“Ya! How can you let this slide?? We worked hard to cover out about his plan to get married, while he’s dating recklessly like this?” The higher up confronts the manager as soon as they entered the room. “How he can easily tell me to confirm that he’s dating that girl??”
The managers bow their head as deep as they can get. Apologizing for something they didn’t even do.
•••
After the ceremony’s ended, dinner is served, followed by a spare time that’s filled with people taking official picture with other people. Your famous boyfriend being dragged here and there, by groups of people that wanted to take a picture with him, now he’s in the other side of the hall, far away from you.
While you’re the only one in the table who remain seated. Have nothing to do until one of your mom assistant tells you that your mom is looking for you. She then introduces you to some of her acquaintances, talk about business and sometimes about yourself. This the moment that could finally made you breathe again, like you being pulled out of the water, and finally being in your natural environment again.
“All set? Shall we go home now?” Asks your mom.
“Uhh.. no..” You look around to find Siwon. “Oppa is going to take me home..”
“Really? Where is he?”
“Here.. somewhere..” he’s nowhere to be found.
“Are you goin to be okay waiting for him alone here? He’s not done taking picture with others, is he?”
“I guess..” you still look around. “I’m going to be fine mom.. just go, You look tired.”
“I feel so full to be honest, the food was.. delicious.”
You grin, “Agree! As expected.. our hotel! The crème brûlée was..” Then you remember about something. “Oh! Do you know where the back entrance mom? Like loading dock or somewhere less crowded?”
“The loading dock will be more crowded then the main entrance honey! People from the decoration vendor or any other vendor for this even going to use that entrance.”
Ah! She’s right..
“If Siwon doesn’t want to be seen together with you.. then use the elevator to reach the basement parking instead.. After the party ends, and people come down at the same time for around 15 minutes, it’ll be more deserted than any other entrance after a while..”
After memorizing the way, you bid goodbye to your parent and looking for Siwon. Everyone’s starting to leave the hall one by one. And now that you’ve done scanning, Siwon is definitely not in this hall. His phone number is being redirected too.
Is he leaving already?
You walk to the main entrance that crowded with people who waits for the car to picked them up. Photographers are still doing their job covering this event as much as they can by taking pictures of celebrity, businessman, or people form government leaving the event to their car. Even if Siwon is there, you can’t just sliding into his car anyway.
But he won’t pick me up like he planned to, will he? He just had drinks, he couldn’t have drive his way back here.
Even after a few minutes, your call to his inactive phone is being redirected. You don’t know which manager is in charge of him today, so couldn’t just call manager Junghoon (the only manager you had his number on your phone) in late night like this.
“Your dad already left maybe half an hour ago.. do you want us to take you home on the way to our home?” suddenly your CEO walking towards you with his wife, in the middle of waiting his chauffeur to pick them up.
“Ahh.. No no.. I’m looking for someone else.” You bow to his wife and greet her out of courtesy. “It’s so nice of you..” you could’ve talk to them longer but you have to find Siwon, so bid him goodbye.
Some of the higher ups from your office or your mom acquaintances greet you the same way like your CEO when they see you wandering around in the main entrance scanning every single face there to find your boyfriend.
••
After some times spent settling on Sungmin’s mater, the manager thought they already done for the night but then the higher up clears his throat.
“And also.. we got loads of phone calls regarding other members relationship too because of this!” The higher up looking for something in his phone. “Why there’re reporters asking about Siwon’s relationship with ‘A’ company? What a construction company to do with him?” He found what he’s looking for in his phone. “And this.. We got this from our sources from this media. Isn’t this the girl who got pictured with Kyuhyun? You said she’s especially close with Siwon. Can you found out whether she’s up to something?”
Manager Yongsun takes the phone politely, with both of his hand. He take a look at the picture and exchange glance with manager Inhwan. It’s the picture or Siwon and you, he leans away from his table but inclining towards you. Smiles. And you looking at him with poker face.
“She is Siwon’s girlfriend.. sir.. Also the one from the ‘A’ construction, developer and a real wastage company. I believe she’s not up to anyt..” Manager Yongsun timidly explains.
“What?? You said she was one of Kyuhyun’s best friends!”
“She is.. she befriended with Kyuhyun through Siwon, sir..”
“How the hell can Siwon’s girlfriend got into the official picture of a museum in Jeju with Kyuhyun?? Just the two of them!! What would the other think?? Where is he?”
“Currently still at the event with his girlfriend.” Apparently.. Answer Manager Yongsun. He bits his lips. How could he’s recklessly sit on the same table with his girlfriend at such event when I especially told him to tone it down.. damn it!
“But we can assure you that both of them won’t make any sound, sir.” Manager Inhwan adds. “Siwon and his girlfriend accidentally got invited at the same event.. so..”
“So this is not a sound?? His picture is screaming something!” He’s pointing at the pictures. “Call him. I don’t want the news filled with suju members confirm dating in two consecutive days.”
••
You decided to go to the back entrance, like your first plan, ignoring your mom words. It already passed 30 minutes, there’s a big chance Siwon already wait you up after he took his car. But it was all crowded, people go from one direction to the other holding big vase or flower wreaths. And pick up or trucks lined up outside of the entrance, an Audi or rovers couldn’t have been there without you noticing. So you walk inside again. Decided to wait in the basement parking lot. At least there will be no one walking around like in the main entrance or back entrance. But the basement 3 already completely deserted and a bit scary, it took you a second to look out that there’s no car, you run back to the elevator. While basement 2 and 1 while still have a few car left, you manage to completed a full lap around each basement to find out that Siwon’s car is not there even though being scared.
You limped into the elevator again.
Standing alone in there, you are looking at your reflection on the mirrored wall. You really like your dress for tonight though. The neckline cut somehow make you look slimmer. You love the detail from your make up too, the soft peach pastel on your eyeshadow being a mellow background for your dramatic fake outer lashes. Then something hits you. You have no picture of yourself in this dress and make up tonight. There’s a zero chance of the magazines would included your photo in their pages.
Then that’ll be too sad.
Having no trace of today’s memories. You absentmindedly take a mirror selfie of yourself. Then a close selfie of your eyes, just for documentation of your favorite eye make up.
The elevator dinged open and in the foyer after the elevator, a hotel staff check your purse for security procedure sake.
“Is there anywhere I can call a cab. Can you assist me?” You’re trembling.
“Oh sure mam..” You’re shivering from head to toe and pale without even knowing it. Maybe the staff thought that you’re cold or a bit unhealthy. “Right away mam.” He calls someone through the radio transmitter.
That person gives you a small blanket to cover up and walks you to the now less crowded main entrance. “Are you okay mam?”
You nod.
“Are you strong enough to stay standing here? Do you need a wheelchair?”
You almost laugh at that question. “No thanks. I’m okay.”
“The taxi will arrived in a minute..”
The cars are still lining up to pick up the guests from the event. Siwon’s Audi is one of them, he’s been calling you nonstop since he got into his own car, but then was when you’re still in the basement and lost the signal. And now, three cars away from the main entrance, Siwon finally could see you, but you didn’t budge when there’s a incoming call on your phone.
“Pick up.. pick up..” he punches his steering wheel.
Two cars away.
He couldn’t think a way to reach you without expose himself in front of the reporters.
Just a few chapter left before the finale!! Thankyou for reading!! <3 <3
7 July 2018
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