“I’m sorry I let you alone this whole time..” He said when he finally stop kissing you.

 

You just frown while looking at him. Siwon wipes a trace of tears at the edge of your eye.

 

“I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Just don’t left me like that ever again.. I’ll go crazy if something like this happen again.”

 

You nod.

 

After a few minutes later, Siwon already opened a wine and both of you sit on the couch covered up in a blanket. He brought wine because he knew you don’t like beers and couldn’t drink soju.

 

“It’s actually made me pretty petty to angry over a trivial things like that. But I just.. How could you not even contacted me that day and not even read my message, leave me waiting like that.”

 

“I know.. I’m not in the right mind that day.. Actually for a whole week, but especially that day since it our first public appearance in this comeback season.”

 

“Is anything happen to suju? Is there something bothering you?”

 

“Hmm, nothing in particular.”

 

“Is there anything I can help?”

 

Siwon’s looking at you, sadly. “Aniya.. having you here like this is already a bless for me.” Siwon holds you in his arm.

 

“Just remember you can tell me anything, okay oppa?”

 

“Uhm.” He assures you. He feels sorry because what happened was actually made him couldn’t going out with you leisurely again. That also made some of his his band mates and managing teams would hate you in general, just because you’re his girlfriend, and not because who you are as a person. “Everyone is just extra sensitive over small things, and we’re currently super busy.. so I can’t be always available.. I hope you understand.”

 

You nod to his words.

 

“It’s hard, dating like this with me? Isn’t it?” Siwon looks at you nervously.

 

“It’s hard because there’s two person with different personality and background trying to committed and understanding each other.”

 

Siwon silently rubs your hair. Moved. “You have to tell me right away if you’re mad at me. Okay? I’ve got the craziest weeks because you were so cold. I couldn’t done anything in peace because you’re still mad at me but I can't made it up right away. ”

 

“I’m sorry I distanced my self from you. I guess I needed time to be alone. And you shouldn’t leave me without any precaution like that again, okay? I was so sad I don’t know what I felt about you. I don’t mind do anything for you. I’ll try to understand your all of your circumstances, but if you disappear without told me anything like that.. I..”

 

Siwon kiss your forehead. “I promise..” I’ll do better. “Should we go somewhere? Get a bit of fresh air?” He already forgot that he has to stay low.

 

You laugh, “Ani.. Dwesso, oppa. We spent time together like this is enough for me.” You sink deeper into his chest.

 

Siwon holds your head, “We should go somewhere after all of my promotion ends.”

 

You suddenly remember that you’ve booked to do styling job in New York for the scarf that you designed. You prop your head to face him closer. “Can you accompany me to New York then around next month? Are you famous there too oppa? Will there be a bunch of fans too?”

 

“Yaa..” Siwon backs up a few inches. “Your oppa is Choi Siwon. Is there any place that I’m not famous?” Both of you burst into laugh. You playfully hit his chest. “Next month? It’s around our concert though.. if it will be after the concert then I’ll try to find time.”

 

“Ahh! Your SS6! But they haven’t sell the tickets yet..”

 

“They haven’t? I’ll get you one, don’t worry.”

 

“Yeay!!”

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

“Nara! Jenna is in the shower, she just told me to pick up your call, she’ll be out soon.” Sonia, the girlfriend of jenna’s brother, answer your Skype call to Jenna.

 

“Hey Sonia!" You lowered the Super Junior's CD that covered you face to surprised Jenna. "How are you? Haven’t seen you in a while!”

 

“Good.. How are you?" She saw the CD that you're trying to hide. "Oh my god I just remember! Congratulation on your new relationship! Woah.. who we got here? Choi Siwon’s girlfriend??”

 

Her words got you stunned. How does she know? “Jenna told you?”

 

“No someone asked me that, but neither Jenna nor Hyerin gave me the straight answer. Ohh so frustrating.” Sonia blurted the last word in Korean. “Yaahh.. how could he always date the most eligible girl in town?!” She look innocently excited, “You were from west coast, and his ex was from east.. coast.” She finished it hesitantly, like she finally knows she did wrong.

 

You know Sonia is actually a outspoken person and she means no harms by talked about that. But that statement kinda reminds you of what kind of person Siwon used to date. You feel not as eligible as that, as her.. And to mention that you just asked Siwon to go to NY with you. To the same city as his ex is?

 

She could senses the change in your expression and try to talk something else. “So Hyerin said you have a job here? How long are you going to stay?”

 

“Hmm..” That matters actually already out of your mind since she mention about Siwon. “Maybe just two days. I don’t know yet..” behind her you can see Jenna walks out of her bathroom.

 

“I’m going to get dress, wait up!” Jenna scream from in front of her bathroom door.

 

You give her an ‘OK’ sign.

 

“So you are.. her friend, right?”

 

“Ohh.. ehm yeah..” She know exactly who you are talking about.

 

“Hmm..” You nod to acknowledge her answer. “So what she’s been up to these days? I heard she once a trainee in oppa’s entertainment company.”

 

“Uhm, she was.. She does modeling this and that, writing, she also working full time in a cosmetic company.”

 

... “Cool..” you really have no idea what to say next, you’re regretting ever ask this in the first place. “And you.. how are you??” Darn.. you asked her this before. “I mean, how’s your work?”

 

“God, it’s so hectic you have no idea. I have to juggle between working and planning a wedding..”

 

“Oh my god! You’re getting married??”

 

“Hi babe!” Jenna comes to the screen.

 

“Yes! I haven’t set the date. I’ll sent you the invitation once the date is settled. But you have to come!! Bye Nara! Talk to you later..”

 

Sonia steps aside to let you talk to Jenna instead.

 

Jenna talks about the photo shoot in New York. Since it’ll be using one of your painting in her house, she’s being meticulous about everything.

 

“So you’ll be staying at my house right?”

 

“I don’t know.. the magazine already told me that the accommodation will be all on them. But I haven’t talk about the detail..”

 

For the whole conversation, your mind was literary everywhere but there. You think about Siwon, his past, about the girl he’s supposed to be with, how you and siwon really incompatible with each other, and about both of your future.

 

“How are you and Siwon oppa?” Like can read your mind, Jenna shifts the talk.

 

“We made up. We talked about what we feel about each other. And I think I was drunk enough to blurred out everything on my mind.”

 

“Good then, communication is the key.. Even when you need booze for it.”

 

"By the way, I bought these.." You drag a box filled with Mamacita's CDs. "I'll bring one for you."

 

"God! How many are they? Like 50 pieces??"

 

"No.” You laugh “30 something I guess.. I donated 20 pieces on the fansites for giveaway." You smile proudly.

 

“Wooaah.. But how are the member on this comeback?”

 

“I don’t know the exact selling number, but I don’t think the album doing great right now.. I don’t know what I can help them with.”

 

“Yeah, I also concern about that.. I replay their song on YouTube repeatedly, but the view number also pretty low. The video was great thou! It’s really them it’s really funny. I’m sorry to say this to you, but although I like them, I never really like their song. But in this album.. they have so many good song.”

 

“I know right..”

 

You talk about super junior with Jenna like a true fans for a while.

 

“Kyuhyun oppa said something about internal problems within the team, and Siwon oppa roughly talk about that too. They didn’t tell me what exactly is that..”

 

“What happens? I don’t recall any rumors regarding super junior lately.. is that something to do with your relationship?”

 

“What?? I hope not. Oppa still brought me to the rehearsal for SMtown, and he told me to bring food for the members and staffs, then he introduce me to the team, and they’re accepting me just fine. So isn’t it safe enough to say that it has nothing to do with me?”

 

“You went to his rehearsal?? Oh my god! Shouldn’t you bring food for them again?”

 

“Should I? Wouldn’t it create more trouble. Ahh I don’t know.. I don’t know what to do with it, so I just help them by bought these CDs.” You grin to show off your box filled with CDs

 

"You look like a rich noona fans rather than a member's girlfriend that way.."

 

You weakly curse at Hyerin and just smile it away. Acknowledge it at your heart, you're nothing like any of the member's girlfriend.

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

“Hyung can I see my schedule? I need to learn the detail about what we’re going to do this month.”

 

“We’re going straight to the company after this. So get as much sleep as you can get in this plane.” Manajer Junghoon gives his Siwon his iPad contains his schedule for the whole month. “The album sales number came out.. I guess it gets the impact, whatsoever.”

 

Siwon knows it must be didn’t do too well. “Impact because of what?” But just by reading his manager’s face, Siwon could tell what’s wrong.. “Well.. we did our best..” But his heart still unease. Whenever the members are together the atmosphere is still weird, whether it’s because the subtle opposition of sungmin’s wedding, or everybody is just getting worked up by the smallest causes.

 

His relationship too, somehow got really affected by it. He no longer can easily meeting you without being too cautious by the other member. Not to mention meeting, he couldn’t even texting you with ease if the others are around, he doesn’t want them to think that he’s busy dating or something. Not only him, the rest of the members that had girlfriend at this moment also avoided talk about his love life even avoided being caught texting or calling his girlfriend.

 

Siwon got lost in his mind when he reads his schedule and one of that located at one of your new developed hotel. Charity gala dinner? Bazaar collaborated with foundation for kid’s cancer? Siwon knew your mother kinda associated with the foundation. He thought he saw her and your dad attended the event on the previous year on the news. But he doesn't know whether you got involved in the foundation too or not because he just got invited this year.

 

He call you as soon as he’s landing and got separated from his manager who’s going to the restroom.

 

“I just landed in town right now..”

 

“You must be really tired. Have you eat oppa?”

 

“I’ll eat with the member. What are you doing?” Siwon sits near the restroom. He planned to asks about he charity dinner right away, but as soon as he hears your voice, he just realized that he misses you, and he just want to hear your voice more.

 

“I’m working in a cafe, it’s too lonely to be in the home, alone. Are you going to your house after this?”

 

“I won’t. We will go straight to the office, the rest of the member already begin to rehearse. My schedules are packed for these few days before I fly back to Beijing. Babe, do you have any schedule on Tuesday?”

 

“Next Tuesday? Hmm.. my parents have a some kind of charity to attend at my new launched hotel.. I guest I’ll be busy helping my mom getting prepared before that. Why?”

 

“You’re not coming with them?”

 

“Mm.. no, my dad and my CEO affiliates with the foundation so they’re kinda suggesting to provide the venue, but it’s nothing to do with the company, so I’m not invited. Why? Are you invited? I heard they collaborated with a magazine.”

 

“Uh hu. I just got invited this year. Can you come with your parent? So at least we can spent time together there.”

 

“I don’t think it’s proper for me to go thou.”

 

“Why? Or you can go as my plus one, we’ll be seated in one table.”

 

That will be worse. You silently think. “Hmm, I know some of the guest lists, the chairmans and directors from my dad companies will be there, and they know I’m not part of it. I never really contribute or donate something to the foundation nor I attended the previous events before. They’ll found it weird if I come uninvited, won’t they?”

 

“Of course not, I’ll donate on your behalf..”

 

The manager already get out from the toilet.

 

“That’s not it. I mean..”

 

“Just think about it first.. okay.. Honey, can I call you later on tonight? I have to go..”

 

“Okay. Take care on your rehearsal oppa!”

 

“Uhm.. thank you! Don’t go home too late.. love you.”

 

 

•••

 

 

 

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Message screen cap

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thankyou for reading!! Please leave a lot of comment so i know what you think off the story <3 <3

 

 

 

 

11 May 2018