Fanaccount
Secret: Between The Two Idols
Your assistant quickly grab the paper you just throw to know what is it. It's a print out of your official office picture, with you in a formal blazer and smile formally to the camera. But on the edge of the picture it surrounded with white decoration and a bow that usually used for the picture of when someone passing away. The whole picture is covered with blood color stains. Like really thick but already dry blood stain. And you believe that it really dried blood because it smells fishy and also like a rotten something. You throw it away and wish you would never know where the blood come from.
Soon, the other employees that heard your scream come around to the discussing table, and the employee that already there, take the scattered papers that you threw away from the table.
"Ya!! Who is it?!! I'll call the cop.." Your asistant looks at your covered blood picture, decided not to touch it either. "It's a crime! And I'll.."
"But sir.." One of your employee who pick up the scattered papers, "I don't think this prank is from one of us.." He picks one paper on the very edge and show it you.
It's varieties of candid photos of you and Siwon outside of the restaurants and some inside the restaurant, on the set from his movie in Beijing, and in the car when he's about to take you to the office. Some of it you don't even recognize where or when was it taken. All of your face was burned with something like a cigarette because of the size.
You just stand there see those from afar and stay still, in shock.
"Miss rep.."
There's a specific paper that being hold by your other employee that got your attention, it's written: 'Go back to your ordinary life, don't seek popularity and bring our oppa down!'
"____.." Your assistant comes beside you and holds your shoulder. "Here here.." He dragged one of the chair with his leg and lead you to sit there.
"It's alright miss rep, we're here.." One of your employee kneels in front of you, patting your knees.
"We'll get rid of this." The others pick up the papers and take that away.
"Here.." Another one comes with a glass of water for you.
You're embarrassed, terrified and shocked in the same time, but being surrounded by ll of them make you even more embarrassed.
"Get back to work." You try to stand up to the discussion table but your assistant holds you down.
"It's lunch time. So just stay here.."
It's lunch time but no one leave the department. Some of them just sit around the discussion table, while the rest get back to their work and steal a glance towards you once every few second.
"Shall we eat here? My treat. What would you like to order?"
Everybody seem a bit hesitant but suddenly there's a voice from the corner yelling. "Pizza!"
"I'm jjajangmyun."
"Don katsu."
You sigh, regret you ever ask them. All of that are from different restaurants. "Write down your orders, call them, I'll just pay it."
"What do our lovely Representative want for her lunch?" Asks one of your employee to you in the cute way.
You laugh, it takes a death treat to make you realize that your employees actually care for you. "Just order me the majority of your orders."
"You need to tell him." Your assistant take you your home with his car to your apartment.
"About what?"
"His fans." Right after parked his car he opens your door and ready to take you to your unit upstairs.
"No. It'll make him more worried. We just need to extra careful now."
"They followed you like everywhere you go, how can you be more careful?" He clearly annoyed. He push the elevator button for you with such strength like for releasing his anger.
"He live this life for almost 15 years now, and he never breaks out any scandal, so he's sure more experience in this than me. I'll just follow whatever his method are." The elevator dinged and open up, you hold the door. "I can go to my own unit without getting harmed now. So thank you."
"You're my head of department. If you're harmed, it'll ruined our department performance. So no, thank you, your safety is my concern." Your assistant being stubborn, comes into the elevator too.
And you pout all the way.
"Why you left your car in your office?" Asks Siwon coming to your room while you change your clothes into office attire in the next morning.
"I'm too tired yesterday.. Beside I already prepare for your breakfast here, no carbs low sugar and salt." You stand in front of the mirror and Siwon stands behind you, zip up the zipper for you.
"Look at those body.." He puts his hand on your hips and kiss you from behind.
"Good morning sweet heart.." You turn around and kiss him again. But once you touched both of the sides of his face, suddenly the photos of you being decorated like you already passed away haunted your mind.
You back up a step.
"Why?" Siwon asks
Try to control your breath. "Nothing.."
"I'll be heading to Beijing again after this weekend.."
"Another shooting?" You ask while clinging on his arm. "Wouldn't it be nice if I'm an actress too?"
"Said a representative from a major company that had everything in the world in her palm.."
"No.. I mean, we can actually talk the same topic, about acting, fans, or celebrity life.."
"I would rather talk about love with you.." Siwon almost lifts you up off your feet while you walks side by side.
"Mwoyaa.." You keep in cling on him while walk to the dining table. "Why are you so cheesy nowadays??"
"Is it really cold?" Siwon asks you while you wrap your neck until the lower part of your face with a thick scarf just before you get out of your house.
No one could recognize me with this. "Yes." You answer shortly, trying not to look as suspicious as ever. "Don't you?" You pull up his jacket's collar. Why don't he wear any shade or hat or anything else???
"No.." Siwon holds your forehead to check on your temperature, but put it down because you're quite normal.
"I'm fine.. Let's go!"
He drives you to your office like he usually did when he had no morning schedule. But you are not like your usual self, checking every side of the road suspiciously, wondering were his fans took the picture on the route from Siwon's apartment to your office or near your office.
"Oppa you sure your car had the darkest tinted filmed glass right?"
"No."
"Why??" You're in shock. No wonder they could see us inside the car.
"That would be very dangerous, even if you install it just on the side windows. You can't see anything, at night. Why?"
"Nothing just asking.. Oppa remember the parking lot you used to parked your car the first time you're here? At basement 3. Can you drop me off there?"
"Isn't if a bit too far from your tower's elevator? You have to change elevator right?"
At least it inside the area for employees only. No outsider can see me there. "I would like to take something first." You look at him, "Oppa.." How is it working for us? What should I do what I shouldn't do? You look at him silently.
"Ehm.." He still busy driving.
"Nothing.." You kiss cheek as soon as you drive into the basement. "Thank you for taking me here.. See you later!"
Siwon's eyeing you as you walk further from him. Something strange, but he couldn't figure it out what.
"Miss rep, do you want to eat here?" Asks one of the female employee when you're roaming around their desks near lunch break. "Should I order something for you now?"
You usually bring lunch box and eat alone in your room or eat out at the most expensive restaurant near your office in order not meet any of your employees during lunch break. But after yesterday when you treated all your department employees for lunch because you're too afraid to left alone in the office, now you really have no plan.
"Ehhmm.."
"Do you want to going with us?" Asks another male employee, "Remember that suyuk that really famous around here? Shall we go together?"
You couldn't help but smile. "Let's go.."
"There's also seolleong tang too if you like, miss rep!" You and some of your employees with your assistant walk through the lobby to go outside of the office to the suyuk place that they're boasting all the time. You're smiling all the way and they become much more chatters than they usually were.
Weird because somehow you feel like the nerd who's finally asked to join the cool kids for lunch.
"Oh I should've just change the heels with the flats!" The last time you ever eat at common restaurant near your office was when you're just a staffer, that's when before you're promoted into the head of department, and you usually didn't use heels and blazer to go out for a long walk to lunch under the sun.
But your employee suddenly strongly disagree, "Aniyo aniyo.. You're pretty in that. Don't mind them." One of your male employee points the female employees. "They never even wore make up in daily basis.." The girls glare at him.
"What are you talking about? The girls in my department are always the one who dress up nicely and stood up in the crowd, right?" You side up with the girls.
"Of course.."
You're about to high five with the girls when there's..
"Kyaa!!" There's like six young girls stood up near a column on the drop off area just outside of your office. "Oh my god! You're really comes out!" They scream.
"Omooo!!! Finally!!"
"Eonni!!"
Your female employees glare at them.
"Mwoya.. What a group of high school do in here?"
"There're interns, aren't they?"
They scream to each other when your group walk by, so they're kind of attracting your group interest for a moment before all of you walk again.
"Excuse me, eonni.. Please accept this."
"Eonni.. You look pretty, really!"
Do not feeling that you're the one they've been calling, you walk away without looking at them.
"Eonni.. Eonni.. Wait a minute." But they follow your group.
"Yes. What's happen?" One of your female employee answer them.
"We just want to give this to ____ eonni.."
But all of your employee come between you and the young girls, to make some kind of barricade. And the young girls freak out.
"No no no, it's okay.." You reach your hand to take the paper bag they give but your assistant takes it away to inspect what's inside.
"It's just notebook and stuff.. We heard you really miss New York." Said the young girls. "Eonni.. Take care of our oppa. Please be happy."
"Eonni, I can't believe that you actually come out!"
"Everyone who already came here never have the chance to said anything or give you something.. How lucky we're today!"
"Miss rep." Your employee tap your shoulder to keep walk away. Keep a safe distance from the girls, now that they're sure they are the fans.
You just nod to them but turn to girls again. "You shouldn't be here.."
"Yes, we're sorry. We just want to see oppa this morning, they said oppa always drive you here in the morning, but today his car didn't appear, so we waited until like a while ago, but the shuttle bus won't come until another 45 minutes, and taxi ride to the nearest bus station just.. so.."
All of them look down like they know they made mistake, with apologetic face too. You couldn't help but but feel guilty for scolding them.
"Miss rep.."
You got a mixed feeling about all of this. You thankful for the caring act from your employees. But the girls attract you the most. Part of you find this things kind of annoying because they invaded your private life, but another part of you feel somehow beloved because although they go all the way here to see their oppa, they still wish you happiness. And also you got curios how they can found out about your office. And if you can find out what did they knew, you can avoid being caught up again, right?
"Why don't you just go first, I'll catch up later." You say to all of your employee. Their break time will wasted while waited for you to talk to them. Some of them not really sure to left you alone. "It's okay, I can handle it alone, you just go with them, I'll catch you up in a moment."
Which is not exactly a moment.
Because you feel so sorry for the girls who waited for these five hours outside of your office, you take them to eat at one of restaurant in your office building, a buffet of mixed Europe cuisine.
"Eonni, can we really eat here?" They hesitate to sit when you already open your blazer and put it on your chair.
"Of course.. Why? You don't like the food? Then, uhh.. Then let's.."
"Aniyo aniyo, just this buffet.. The bills.."
"Ah, no it's okay, just grab anything you want."
"Eonni, just talk to us casually, it's okay, were younger than you anyway" Says one of them while eat.
"It's okay." You still talk in honorifics and stir your chicken with your fork.
"Well actually I'm not younger." Says another one, "I'm the eonni though.." All of them laugh in disbelieve.
"But you didn't know my age though." You smile politely.
"We know it.."
"Aaah..." You're kind of back away. Like, really?
"I'm older but still in college. That's why I can't believe you actually had graduated and being a director here."
"I didn't accelerate in college though. It's pretty normal, and also I'm not yet a director.." Taking a serious look to the one who's older than you. "Did you like suju since long time ago?"
"Since their first album ever! But I'm not this avid before. I'd bought their album, but not know everything about them like now.."
Know everything(?!!) "Really? And you?" You ask the others, a little intimidated by the oldest one.
Almost all of them like suju from sorry sorry or bonamana. And only the oldest one is Siwon's biased, the others are Kyuhyun's, Donghae's, and Eunhyuk's. Most of them are still in college, some of them in high school and they missed class or school today because they wanted to do something at noon.
"Geuraeseo, eonni neun? How did you meet our Siwon oppa? When the first time you started your relationship? A year ago?"
You contemplate for a second, answering would been like an approval stamp on your your face, but denying wouldn't make any different since you already here with them, so you decided not to answer that, politically. "How did you found out? About me knowing Siwon? About my office, my age.. He didn't said anything, and I never post anything on my sns. So how?"
"Eonni.. Thats the power of fans.. You never heard any of the fanaccount about you?"
"No. Why? What fanaccount?"
"So you quit your gym not because of the fans often come there?"
"I don't quit the gym.. Wait.. What??" Suddenly your mind begin to race, the overcrowded dance class at night that filled with young girls, your dance instructor who said that they wanted to you and siwon to come and visit them, the foreign girls at the sauna room.. "Oh my god!!" I'm doomed, I'm at the sauna! "Was it because my friend upload our dance cover? But siwon oppa wasn't even there."
"Didn't you take a group picture together with Hyerin eonni and the dance teacher?"
Oh right..
"And we could see his reflection on your video too eonni. Someone even make the comment to point out in which seconds he could be seen."
Ommo.. Is oppa going to be okay?
"And his apartment? Does it common that you all know where he lives?" You bite your lips, afraid of the answer.
"No, just really hard fans knew where he lives. And we keep it a secret just for us."
"So you don't really have to wait here just to see him, right? He never drop by anyway."
"Still, here we have the chance to see him with his girlfriend. And we've got the chance to see you too. We never see you after office hour here, so the best time is wait for you just before you've got here right? And you never walk pass through the main entrance when you get home right?"
You tore between touched and terrified at the same time.
"You don't really have to do that.."
"You didn't post much in this past year on your sns so.. We can't find out anything about you."
"What? And how about me missing New York? You said you can't find out anything about me."
"Because that's in your friends Instagram, eonni. Wait.." One of them fumbling with her phone and open Jenna's Instagram post that had Jenna herself and you in the photo.
Jenna tagged you and wrote: 'have the nicest hostess on my stay in Seoul! Going to clean up my entire place immediately for her when she'll visit NY'
She show you the whole comment section, Hyerin commented on it: 'Don't know, she said she miss ny terribly.'
And in the lower comments you can see another comments wrote in many language but because you only understand korean and English, you can say that 20% of it says something like 'eonni you're pretty' the other 30% 'so this is how she looks like now' and the 50% well it's basically curses.
Did Jenna's Instagram flooded with curses because of me??
"Here too, you said it in your Instagram ages ago that you really want to he back there."
"My instagram??" What?!?
"Yeah.. Please post a lot of picture with hint eonni, so we know you're with Siwon oppa."
Mwoyaaaa!
"Eonni, so who else between the member that already has a girlfriend? So Donghae oppa and Eunhyuk oppa are real right??"
"Ne?? I really don't know. And really I can't.."
Where's the world that I used to know?
"Eonni, we felt so betrayed.." Ok here it goes, what should I do, what should I do? Go on my knees and ask for apologize. "How can your rumor spread over international elf first? Ss5 Hong Kong, oppa's filming in Beijing.. Why they're the one who met you? We can't even found out about you in ss5 Seoul."
"Huh?" You must be look like an idiot in front of them, with all of your blank confused expression for their every single question.
"But I did found out Siwon oppa had dinner with you few days before ss5 Seoul. At Palais de Gaumont, it's you right?" The oldest one spread out her investigation result. "You came in a few minutes after oppa walked in, but you used somebody else's name at the counter, so I couldn't stalked you then." That was your first dinner with Siwon ever! "And I still had your picture of you back then.." You close your eyes and breath deeply. It begin to appear as a mistake from the begining. What the hell happen to your life right now??
"I.."
"Don't worry, we're not that kind of fans that delusional wishing someday oppa will be our husband. I'm happy as long he's happy with you. We'll take care of you too."
"Thankyou so much.. But I.." You take another deep breath, "I'm so thankful for your love over your oppas, and all of your consideration for me, but I'm not a celebrity whatsoever. And I'm so thankful though, but it kind of really distracting for people around me. So rather than skip school or college classes to wait for him every morning in this office or in front of his apartment, I bet all of you oppa want you to really concentrate on your studies and see them as your entertainments in your spare time, or when you're feeling down and you need someone to boost up your mood. I bet they hate to see you waste your time that doen't lead to your better future.."
"Eonni.."
"I know Kyuhyun oppa too," You say to Kyuhyun's fans that interupt your speech, "And I can't really understant how he maintance his credibility towards all of his works, he always passionate about his work although it's not always singing. As his fans, me included, I think we're really lucky to have such a role model like him. We can all learn to have credibility to whatever we're doing like him too right?"
All of them look down at their plate.
Well done! You cynically says that to yourself. What a mood ruiner! Act like you all grown up in front of them! She's even older than you!
"We're really glad that Siwon oppa meet someone like you eonni.."
What?? God! What a fake! How can you tell them to be passionate about their work when you're about to give up to face all of your problem in office?? How can you tell them to moderately love their oppa when you travel around asia to watch their perfomances, spent million trying to impressed the hyungs, and wasted countless hour to watch and rewatch every performances, reality shows, music videos, fancams or just random videos about them.
Please don't love me! I'm not deserve your love!!
You stay for the lunch awkwardly until the time you have to get back to your office, and paid for the meal by yourself also sent them in the taxi that also paid by you.
Once you get back to your office and the employee that supposed to have lunch with you already get back to their respective seat and working what they've been working before the lunch break, you knew you that you weren't thinking long of what consequences by taking the fans to have lunch with you. One, your employee must be felt a bit betrayed by: you chose the one that they're protected you from. Two, although you're not clearly said that you are Siwon's girlfriend, but simply taking their gifts was like a confirmation action that you are his girlfriend. Either way you can't really just ignore them, they spent a huge deal of time in front of your office, mostly want to see their oppa but also want to see him with you, they gave you gifts, they stalked you (scratch that), and they care about your happiness.
You really have no idea what's wrong and what's right by now. Which party you should take side?
"Oppa.." You take a closer look to your phone screen to see his face on this video call.
"Hello.." Siwon smiles.
"Oppa.. I need to tell.."
"Hey, you told me to asks Kyuhyun whether he's really busy right?"
"Uh, yeah, why?" You didn't expect him to say this now.
"Do you know what's happen to him? Did he get himself in trouble or something?"
"No that's why I asked you to ask hi.. He got into trouble?? What trouble??"
Siwon laughs, "No no, I just.. He seems really down right now. So.. Anyway.."
"Aah.. He's really down.. What's happening..."
There's a few second of silence when you just look down to think what's happen to Kyuhyun and Siwon also seems a bit blank.
"So how's your day?" Siwon comes back to his smiley self.
"Eeh.. Do you follow me on Instagram?"
"Ehm.. Since a long time ago, yes. Why? You said you haven't log in for years."
"Do you think it safe? I mean you're not planning on bring our relationship out to the public right?" You force a laugh to make it like a joke, as light as possible although his fans might be already prepare your coffin, just because they hear the word relationship from you.
"Do you want to?" Siwon raises his eyebrows, flirting.
Dumbfounded, you answer it a few second late. "What are you taking about? Think about the scandal you'll be dealing with."
"Aro aro.. I just felt.. Why you're so against it. You really don't want anybody to know it???"
Why everything seems triggering argument.
"I don't, I just.. Think about the consequences.."
"Alright.." Answers Siwon disheartened, "I have to go, bye.."
"Uh? Bye.." You just watch as your phone screen froze out and turn into the FaceTime home app again. With no words you put your phone down and sigh.
You didn't even have the chance to said anything about his fans or Paris or how these days feel so suffocating for you.
Is there any place where you can just breathe peacefully?
"Mom, should we really go to Paris?" You sit in your dad's working room while your dad read in the sofa beside your mom.
Author's note: Thank you for subscribing and reading.. Sorry I haven't reply any of your comments and messages, I'll do it immediately
Enjoy reading.. And if you like it, you can started to upvote too you know.. hehehe thank you..
29 May 2015
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