CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR: Confrontations

{ Guilt was eating up her insides. } * Click for BGM!

The sound of the train chugging over the tracks was quite calming in the background of Kai's engulfed thoughts. 

Twirling his phone deftly in the palm of his hand, Kai replayed the events of the previous night in his head. After leaving the grocery store, he'd received his promised call from Suho. Kai had stopped in the middle of the alleyway, just so he can listen clearly and let each and every bit of the information sink in. His grip on the plastic grocery bag had tightened a little.

When the call had ended, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and made sure to head back to Seoul like Suho strongly suggested. 

And now, Kai was here, staring out the rickety window and allowing the scenery and different buildings glide past his brown eyes.

But rather than letting the pestering anxieties get to him, he relaxed himself by thinking of what happened later after the conversation on the phone. He remembered tip-toeing into the living room late that same night, and how his face quirked in amusement when he spotted Hyejung splayed on the couch with one leg dangling off the side carelessly. With a shake of his head, he approached her. 

Kai had carried her into her bedroom, the soft padding of footsteps gingerly echoing throughout the small household. And with the utmost care, he'd tucked her in, brushing her coarse, wind-blown fringe away from her closed eyes. He didn't exactly know why or maybe it was because there were so many reasons, but all he'd wanted to do was embrace her within warm arms and never let go. The timid ba-bumps of his heart at that moment had mixed wonderfully with his yearning.

He supposed this is what it really felt like to be young and in love. 

"So, you were the one following me, weren't you?" he whispered knowingly, chuckling quietly to himself. He admired her sleeping face for a few lingering moments before murmuring with a light tap of her nose, "I'll see you soon, okay?" 

Kai had left the room moments after, but not before bumping into Luhan who was leaning against the door in question.

In the midst of his wistful pondering, an announcement over the intercom sounded as Kai felt the train gradually coming to a stop. Rising to his feet, he grabbed the handle of his red suitcase and hauled himself out of the bustling train.

As soon as he started making his way down the station with people skirting about in every direction, he found himself slowing down his brisk pace when he spotted a familiar figure a few meters away. 

"Suho-hyung? You're here," Kai said, surprised.

The older shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I am." He waited for Kai to catch up to him before they walked out together. There was a silence of just brushing shoulders and the rolling wheels of Kai's suitcase before he spoke again. "Your mom said she's expecting you. The last time I talked to her, she didn't sound too happy." His serious tone of voice made the younger uneasy.

"Ah, really?" Kai kneaded his fingers through his hair. He sighed, automatically assuming that his mom's disappointed behavior is because of him. "And hey, if it's cool with you, can I collapse at your place before I head there? I kind of want to wash up before I head over there."

Suho nodded. "That's fine. But since when did you care about your personal hygeine?"

Kai laughed. "Geez hyung, it's not like I'm four or something," he said light-heartedly and nudged him, trying to lighten up the mood. And by the looks of it, it seemed like Suho was trying to as well. But the air seemed too heavy, and Kai didn't think it was because of the cloudiness up above.

~*~

Kai's absence was seriously bothering Hyejung, so much to the point where Luhan visibly noticed. Besides the fact he could read people and particularly Hyejung quite easily, the furrowing of her brows and the quiet sighs constantly spilling from her lips kind of gave it away. Something was definitely up. 

As they rode the bus to the hospital, Luhan had thought it was best to head back to Seoul later that day in the evening. Hyejung answered with a quiet 'yeah' and a slow nod to the boy's suggestion, and she promptly added that she would inform her aunt herself about the change of plans. 

A couple hours past since the pair had arrived at the hospital, and as Hyejung tended to Aunt Jae's needs and kept her company, she found herself in a quiet state of hesitance about telling her aunt the news on leaving early. She didn't feel comfortable with it especially after seeing the woman's poor condition in person, but with a sigh, Hyejung knew it had to be done eventually.

With a subtle, reminding nudge from Luhan, Hyejung carefully approached Aunt Jae who sat up in bed. Glancing over her shoulder, she watched him step out of the room with a nod in encouragement.

"Don't worry, it'll be okay," he mouthed, and she trusted him and his words. 

Hearing the click of the door shut, Hyejung turned around and seated herself in the chair. Thick barks emitted from the woman's throat, and the younger instinctively grabbed the mug of hot lemon water from the sidetable. "Here Aunt Jae, drink this. It'll soothe your throat," she muttered. 

"Ah, thank you Hyejungie-ah," Aunt Jae obliged and took two long gulps before sighing loudly. Carefully lowering her drink and placing it down on her lap, she looked over at her niece only to find her boring holes down at the ground. "Yah, you're going to set the floor on fire if you keep staring."

"What? Oh," Hyejung blurted, shooting her focus up. "Sorry. I guess."

Carefully lowering her drink and placing it down on her lap, Aunt Jae eyed Hyejung in a mixture of supsicion and concern. "Sweetheart, is there something you want to talk to me about?" the younger opened and respond, but Aunt Jae threw another question, "Where's that handsomely bronzely boy? Kai, is it?"

Hyejung shifted in her seat. "Uh, yeah. Him. A-About him...he's kind of the reason why I want to talk to you," she informed, trying to set a serious tone, but she kept on fiddling with her clammy hands. Aunt Jae blinked at her to continue. "And well, if you haven't notice, he didn't come today. From what Luhan told me, it's because he went back home to Seoul really early this morning. It's kind of worrying, really. We don't exactly know the reason why he left so urgently, so that's why I'm saying-"

"You're planning on leaving too?" Aunt Jae prompted, and after a moment of being taken aback by the unexpected answer, Hyejung nodded. "Of course you can, hun. I mean, I hope you knew that you can go back to that big city whenever you want to. You don't need to feel indebted to stay here with me just because I'm sick."

"You're not just sick, Aunt Jae. You have a serious case of lung cancer and you're in the freaking hospital for crying out loud and-" Hyejung stopped in midsentence, realizing that raising of her voice won't relieve her frustrations of what's really important right now. She sighed. "And I want to be there for you. You need me, Aunt Jae. Can't you see that?"

Aunt Jae softened, clearing of a bothersome tickle. "Hyejung-ah," she took the younger's hand into her own, meeting their eyes. "I understand what you're saying, but please don't fret or worry. Your friend probably needs you more than I do right now. Besides, I actually think that the medicine I've been taking is doing something good to me." She squeezed their hands, aging wrinkles to smooth youth. "I'll be fine here, sweetheart. I promise."

"No," Hyejung leaned over and enveloped the woman in a warm hug. "I promise. I promise I'll take care of the medical bills, and I'll come back to take care of you just like how you did for me."

Aunt Jae let out a shaky sigh, feeling tears trickle in the corner of her eyes. They slowly pulled away from each other's arms. "After seeing you and how much you've grown over just several months, I think Seoul's your real home now, Hyejung," she lightly cupped the younger's cheek. "So don't waste your time with this old woman and go back there. I know you'll make me more proud than I already am." 

Hyejung let out a weak laugh, her eyes falling downcast. "Stop being so sappy, Aunt Jae. You're going to make me cry and crap."

"Oh please, you make crying sound like death," the woman spat, rolling her eyes. She coughed into her sleeve before chortling, her eyes smiling encouragingly. "Always look on the bright side, Hyejung. At least that boy Kai will be home waiting for you."

Standing up to her feet and slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Hyejung gave her aunt a look. But Aunt Jae knew better, clearly seeing that her niece's little glare wasn't very convincing. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Aunt Jae blinked. "Oh? Well, I thought you would be excited. By the way you were just talking about him, it sounds like he's really special to you," When Hyejung's dilating eyes flickered down to the floor in surprise, the elder smiled. "You must really care for him a lot, am I right?"

Hyejung opened to answer, but she fell silent with no coherent words coming out. What was she supposed to say anyway? No? That didn't sound right. Not at all. But at that very moment, Hyejung couldn't help but wonder if it was really that obvious; that she really was genuinely concerned for the boy even through her rough edges. That she thought of him often, more than she considered was normal.  That whenever he wasn't around her, she felt ... empty, and incomplete.

That through every little moment they experienced together; through the smiles and the stupid jokes and the unsteady heartbeats ... she was falling for him. And possibly, maybe, falling for him hard. That alone scared her. 

"Hyejung-ah, I'll tell you this now." Aunt Jae's eyes softened, and the younger met her downcast eyes. "When your heart's true desire is evident in front your eyes, don't ignore it. Fight against your hesitance, your anxiety, and your fears. Be willing to take chances, and explore for your happiness. Yeah?"

Hyejung thought for awhile, her clouded thoughts slowly clearing up. She nodded subconsciously, not just to Aunt Jae, but to the fact that she thought she had the answer imprinted in her heart, and it couldn't be otherwise. 

"Er, I th-think I'm gonna go now. The next train to Seoul will be at the station in an hour and a half, so, uh..." She stopped for a second, standing there awkwardly as Aunt Jae smiled with a tilt of her head. It was like the elder could read her mind.

Hyejung flailed her arms exasperatedly before giving her aunt another hug. "Bye, Aunt Jae. I'll miss you. Don't eat too much ramen."

"Yah," the woman warned. "You eat that stuff more than I ever did in my entire life-time!"

"Well, you're the one who raised me!" 

"Don't you be pointing fingers at me, child! When I was your age, I never found myself eating more than a growing teenage boy! Huh?"

Hyejung rolled her eyes, standing at the door. "Story time can wait another day, Aunt Jae. Love you."

Aunt Jae clicked her tongue, whipping out today's newspaper with her reading glasses at the tip of her nose. "You don't mean that."

"I do so mean it! Do you want me to miss my train just so we can have a debate abou-"

"Love you too, sweetheart," Aunt Jae cut in, lifting her eyes to find Hyejung still in her spot. "Well? Aren't you gonna get going? Look, I never raised you in such a-"

"Bye, I'll miss you, don't eat too much ramen!" 

And with the quick little ramble said, Hyejung slipped out of the room with the shut of the door.

After a few moments, Aunt Jae flicked her newspaper just so the words can look supposedly bolder to her aging eyes. She chortled with a shake of her head. "My, my, Seo Hyejung. Someday you'll be the death of me. Just you watch."

Hyejung stepped off the elevator and entered the lobby, almost immediately spotting Luhan looking up and waving her over. The two walked out of the hospital together, and after taking a quick glimpse of Aunt Jae's window, Hyejung lightly punched the boy in the arm.