For some strange reason, can't get One Direction's song Gotta Be You out of my head when I wrote this chapter. Well, it does fit this chapter in a way ._.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvfejaHz-o0

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Eun Hae’s POV

I tried to get over Lu Han.

I always told myself to never cry for a guy if he ever breaks my heart. And yet I cried when Yongguk tried to me. And now I cried almost every night because of Lu Han. I didn’t know that trying to stay strong and not break down was such a hard thing to do. I was being torn apart. And I hated it.

I tried to focus my mind on other things, like my finals. It came up and now I was studying like crazy, with the help of B.A.P, Changjo and Daeseul. I would’ve failed if I hadn’t studied with them.

I thought I did a pretty good job with studying because it distracted me from everything that had happened. I studied so hard until I actually forgot that I was turning eighteen until Changjo reminded me three days before. Everybody asked me what I wanted, how I wanted to celebrate my becoming-an-adult but I just told them that there was no need to create such a fuss and that I would rather have quiet one instead.

They protested, saying that I should throw a humongous party and all of that that people do when they turn eighteen but I was adamant.

The reason being was because if I say I wanted a fuss, I wanted Lu Han and all my Exo friends to come and celebrate with me. I would want them to come and we’ll act like nothing happened, like I never found out, and like Lu Han and I were happy together.

But of course that’s not possible.

So I decided against having a party.

Everyone carried on with life like it was normal and I was just trying to pick up the pieces. All my friends were doing their best to help me but sometimes I just wished they’d leave me alone to my misery. I grew closer to B.A.P, especially my brother. Yongguk and Himchan were now my brothers again and nothing more. My mother would come and visit me occasionally if she was free from her work.

Daeseul and Kai were still going strong with their relationship, maybe even more than ever, even though he had returned to Exo. If I was not mistaken, he would still come down and visit her as often as he could. Daeseul would always tell me the days he’s coming, not so I can go meet up with me, but rather it was so that I would stay clear of their way and avoid him at any costs too.

I didn’t want to see him or any of the Exo members just yet.

I was over at my apartment, cleaning out all the old stuff that I didn’t need. It was time that I did some cleaning around the house. It felt really weird without Lu Han’s presence but I busied myself with the hauling stuff and throwing things out so I wouldn’t have time to even think about him. I picked up an old book and flipped through it when a photo fell down. I bent over to pick it up.

And dropped it quickly, letting it fall to the ground, swaying side-by-side as it slowly landed on the floor, face-up.

It was a picture of Lu Han and me, with the sun setting at Hans River as the scenery behind the both of us. [The Heartbreaker’s Game, chapter 15]

It was so long ago . . .

I smiled softly, remembering that memory. It was when he first came down to Seoul and annoyed the crap out of me.  I had asked a bystander to take a picture of me with the river but then Lu Han came and convinced the person to take a picture of the two of us together instead. I tried to protest but Lu Han had already placed his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder so I had no choice but to agree.

The person who took the picture said we made a cute couple. And then the person who was developing the film saw how ‘sweet’ we looked together and decided to print one extra copy of it for free.

Lu Han had the other one.

I looked at the picture and I have to admit that even now it was still a nice picture. I clearly remembered that I was actually happy when Lu Han put his arms around me so I could tell that my smile was genuine. But for Lu Han’s smile in this picture . . . I couldn’t tell if it was a genuine or fake smile.

But . . . the memory of believing that he actually cared about me pierced through my heart and soon I began crying all over again. Lu Han hurt me so badly . . . yet I know that deep down I still love him.

And I hated him for doing that. I hated him for how he made me feel, how the happiness I once felt whenever I thought of him was now nothing but mere misery. How I’d wish that he was by my side every night, to hold me and kiss me and to make me laugh, and do it all over the next day.

I hated how Lu Han got me missing him so badly it just opened a new, fresh wound in my heart. I wished I didn’t meet him.

“Eun Hae?” a deep, gruff voice spoke up, alarmed.

I looked up and through my tears I saw Yongguk squatting in front of me. He had a worried expression on his face. “I just ended my date with a girl and thought I’d come visit you since it was on the way back,” he explained. “I found boxes outside your house, with the front door wide opened. Are you okay?”

I shook my head and gestured toward the photo.

He looked at it and frowned, his face mirroring my distraught expression. He took my hands into his. They were rough, yet they felt warm at the same time. He pulled me up on my feet, letting the photo drop, and wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

“He hurt me . . . but I still love him.”

He nodded gravely. He knew that I was talking about Lu Han. It used to feel awkward talking to him about Lu Han since he was my ex, but he proved to me that he was worthy enough to be my brother. “But no guy deserves your tears,” he told me. “If they do, then they wouldn’t make you cry.” He frowned. “I’m worried about you, Eun Hae. We all are. You’re having your finals and you’re not eating properly, you’re also not sleeping enough due to the late nights you’ve spent studying.”

Daehyun made it a routine for one of the B.A.P members to come and sleep in my apartment to make sure I was all right. He was still very cautious about Yongguk and Himchan so he made them sleep in the guest room when it’s their turn; Zelo and Jongup on the floor in my room, and he and Youngjae in bed with me.

On Monday, Zelo would take care of me. Tuesday, it was Jongup. On Wednesday, Youngjae would come, and Thursday it was Daehyun’s turn. On Friday, Himchan would walk with me back home from school, and on Saturday, Yongguk would come visit me after work. Then on Sunday all six of them would come and spend the night with me. That was how the system would go.

Today was Wednesday, which meant Youngjae would be coming. Tomorrow was my birthday and Daehyun was lucky enough to spend the night with me.

Great, my birthday.

“You have us, your mother, Changjo and Daeseul, to help you. Please, don’t keep yourself locked up inside. We want to help you. We care for you and we love you, Eun Hae,” Yongguk went on, making his thumb move in circles on my hands. “We’re all worried you might stress yourself too much again and faint.”

“I’m fine,” I retorted dismissively, yanking my hands away from him. Why does every one think I’ll fade every time something bad happened in my life? I can get better. “I’ve been taking my medicines on time and everything.”

“It’s okay to break down once in awhile,” Yongguk murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Crying doesn’t show weakness; it just meant that there is only too much crap that you can take.”

I didn’t say anything. I was feeling weary about everything. I looked up to Yongguk who was still looking intensely at me. “Oppa?”

“Mmm?”

“I’m . . . dying,” I told him and he softened. “Without Lu Han . . . I just . . . I can’t . . .” I didn’t know the right word to say to describe my pain. Agonizing? Torturous? Excruciating? Severe? Unbearable? I was just so tired, so emotionally, physically and mentally drained, and I was in so much pain that suicidal thoughts invade my mind at nights and I would have done it if B.A.P didn’t keep checking on me.

I felt something wet on my cheeks and then I tasted something salty on my lips and I realized that I was crying. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed into them, my shoulders quaking. A cry escaped from my lips and I tried to remove Lu Han’s smiling face in my head but the more I tried to erase it, the more it kept popping out.

Yongguk pulled me into his arms and my hair. “If I hadn’t tried to force you,” I could hear him say, “you would have probably been happy with me, and then you wouldn’t have to go through all this pain.”

I didn’t tell him that he was right.

“I miss him,” I sniffled. “I really miss him . . . but I don’t want to take him back and remember what he did.” I let a deep sigh escape from my mouth and leaned on his chest, my arms around his waist, feeling his arms wrapping themselves around me tighter, pulling me close to him as he just hugged me comfortingly.

“Then don’t.” He kissed the top of my head.

I sighed heavily again and closed my eyes.

Lu Han’ POV

I was depressed.

Even though it’s only been a couple of days since Eun Hae kicked me out, I was miserable. I wasn’t happy. I wanted to be with Eun Hae. I missed her so badly. Ever since I came back, I just stayed in my bed, staring blankly up to the upper bunk. The only times when I’d leave my bed was when I needed to use the bathroom or needed to eat. Then I’d come back and stare at the bunk, where I had posted the picture of Eun Hae and me at the Hans River.

Kris tried to talk to me but I ignored him. I couldn’t face him. I was mad at him because he was the reason why Eun Hae was hurt. He was the one who started this stupid Game. And I also didn’t want to face him because of how he felt toward her. I knew that she was mad at everyone, which meant she was mad at him too, but she was upset, disappointed, betrayed and angry at me — which was worse.

I knew that Kai had been going down to visit Daeseul and I also knew that he wasn’t able to see Eun Hae at all because she refused to meet him.

I missed her.

I could actually just turn myself invisible and go visit her, to see how she was doing, but I was scared that I might see how broken and in pain she was because of me — or worst, she was in the hospital because of me.

And frankly it was because I was a coward.

All my friends (Exo-M and Exo-K) tried to talk to me and include me in things but I refused and just stayed in my bed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone except Eun Hae. I know that they were annoyed with my behavior yet they kept pestering me about it.

Every time I closed my eyes I would remember the look on her face when she realized that this was all a game, when she told me to get lost, when I barged into the room and saw Daehyun comforting her. I could never forgive myself for bringing such pain to the only girl I know I’ll ever love. And I would always remember how, when she spoke to me, her voice was trembling in pain.

The first two nights without her I’d wake up, screaming, and her face filled with pain clear in my mind. It’d wake the others up and they’d calm me down. But then I stopped sleeping. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to see her hurting expression in my dreams. And also because I wasn’t able to sleep with this strange absence of Eun Hae’s presence in my arms every night. I was so used to having her sleep in my arms that it felt weird without her. Using a bolster was useless because it doesn’t give me the same warmth she gave me.

I needed Eun Hae.

On Wednesday, the day before her birthday, Kris kicked the door opened, frowning. I ignored him and continued to look up toward the photo. But then Kris yanked it away.

“Yah!” I cried out in protest, finally talking to him. “That’s mine!” I sat up and held my hand out to take the photo back from him.

Instead he pocketed the picture into his shirt and faced me squarely, taking out a stool to sit down. His gaze was stern as he folded his arms. “You and I are going to talk about this whether you want to or not,” he told me. “As long as you’re living under this roof, you listen to me.”

I got up. “Then I’ll go.”

“And where will you go?” he sneered.

I scowled and lied back down staring at the blank spot where our picture used to be. I frowned sadly, hating and cursing Kris under my breath.

“Lu Han, will you stop being so childish?!” Kris yelled at me.

I sat up straight and glared at him. “Of all people here, I especially don’t want to see you!”

“I’m very well aware of your hatred for me at the moment,” Kris retorted. “I am the reason why her heart is broken, because I created this stupid Game and also you hate me because of my feelings for her,” he interrupted me, listing down the list I was going to tell him.

I rolled my eyes.

“Look, I came in here because there some things about Eun Hae that you need to know,” Kris told me.

I shrugged, not wanting to listen to him. “I thought you said that I wasn’t supposed to know anything about her as long as I break her heart?” I mumbled.

He threw the picture back at me so fast that I didn’t have time to realize it and when I did, it had given me a paper cut on my forehead.

“Ow!” I glared at me, rubbing my forehead with my left hand while picking the photo up in my right hand. “What was that for?”

“Do you, or do you not, want to know about what I know about Eun Hae?” he asked me impatiently.

“What is it?” I grumbled.

“I need to clear some things out with you,” he said, sighing, rubbing his temple. “I know you told Eun Hae that I was in love with her.”

“Yeah.” I did that out of spite, knowing she’d never love him back.

“That was rude and evil of you.”

“Like you’re not.”

“I am rude and evil. In fact, I’m worse,” he murmured quietly, more to himself. But then he looked at me. “I came to tell you that you were wrong. I love Eun Hae, but I never said I was in love with her.”

Eun Hae’s POV

After Yongguk left, I continued cleaning out my stuff, I found a couple of pictures from when I was a kid. I laughed at my younger self and continued to clear out that box when I found a huge file. I had no idea what it was so I opened the file and saw that it was filled with a lot of documents inside, looking quite old and antique.

There I found my passport. Oh, so there’s where it was. Huh. I looked at it. I’ll have to renew my passport soon. Then I can fly anywhere I like . . . once I save up enough money, to, that is. Hmmm, I wonder if Daehyun Oppa could take me to go renew it.

I put that away and looked at other documents.

I found my birth certificate; it looked exactly like Daehyun’s birth certificate, with my date of birth, hospital, weight. Then it had my mother’s name, Oh Min Ah. And then there’s my father Jung . . .

Wait . . . what?

Lu Han’s POV

I frowned, confused, as I processed his words into my mind. “Dui zhang, what the are you talking about now?” I asked Kris, slightly irritaed by his presence. “You never —”

“How can a father be in love with his own daughter?” Kris asked softly.

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Meeehehehehehehehe :P

To those who had guessed Kris was Eun Hae's father before, I had to convince you guys that Kris was in love with her so you guys didn't have to guess the truth the right time! :P