And lakad we did.

As we walked further away, our friends' voices and laughs faded and were replaced with the sound of the sea, each crash rolling to the stretch of sand added comfort to this calming night.

Our evening was perfect. Well.. almost.

Ang dilim eh.

Kahit naman maliwanag ang buwan at may ongoing party sa kalayuan, marami pang bakanteng lote kaya wala kaming ibang source ng ilaw. I can't help but worry dahil kami lang ang naglalakad sa kahabaan ng tabing-dagat, baka kung sino ang makakita sa amin at mapagdiskitahan kaming dalawa.

When I raised this concern to Karina, she her phone light, and with a very serious look she said -

'Wag mong titignan sa mata.'

'Pano kung hablutin tayo?'

'Sana wag sa paa.'

'.. huh?'

'...'

'...'

'Ahh, yung mga buhay. I can take them.'

Sabi ko nga least of her concerns ang mga living.

And wrong genre pala, horror-comedy if ever ang papalit sa supposedly romantic outing namin.

From what I remember yesterday, it should be a short walk from the place where we're staying to the nearby resorts. Either mali ang tantsa ko or ganun kami kabagal maglakad we're taking our sweet time.

I like it, actually. And I'd like to savor every second of it.

With the mental and emotional turmoil I've been through, I like how I ended up right here with everyone, with Karina. It made me appreciate the time I spent with them even more.

A painter once said -

Gotta have opposites, light and dark and dark and light, in painting. It's like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come.

Yup. Bob Ross.

I've never watched his show kaya akala ko dati meme siya when I saw it on Facebook. Ang meme-like kasi ng way they presented the photo, may halong sarcasm eh. So I shared it on my wall because I found it funny. And to be fair, it was a good insight into life.

Tama kasi siya eh.

That we sometimes fail to notice the 'good times'. Hindi sa sinasadya natin, it just happens. Nararamdaman siguro but knowing and noticing is different from feeling it. I like to think knowing is acknowledging what we feel.

Ang lungkot kung iisipin, that we have to feel 'a little sadness' just so we could notice the sunny days. Pero kung puro nga naman 'good times' di mo na siya ma-differentiate, mawawala yung 'wow' factor. So, I guess part talaga yun ng buhay.

On the bright side, we get to experience that 'wow' factor again. Like it's the first time.

"Ang lalim ng iniisip mo ah?"

Karina glanced my way before lowering her eyes to the sand.

"Yeah.."

"What are you thinking?"

"Bob Ross."

"'Who' pala." She corrected herself, finding my answer amusing. "Anong meron kay Bob Ross?"

So, I told her.

Na-miss ko 'to.

I missed her small nods and short hums whenever I'd speak my mind. Even her side comments katulad ng i-send ko raw yung quote later, gagamitin niya as caption. She's funny without even trying.

"Gusto ko yun." She said at the end of it.

"Which one?"

"That with sadness, we get to experience happiness again like it's the first time. Something we can look forward to."

"If only it was that easy. Pessimistic tayo when we're down."

That got her thinking. "Yes, we are."

Nang marating namin yung mga resorts, we decided to rest for a while and took a seat by the shore. An adequate distance away from the party para magkarinigan dahil medyo wild na yung mga bagets, but just enough na naiilawan kami.

Ang weird na may rave party ng Sunday.

May mangilan-ngilan na nakatambay kagaya namin pero agaw atensyon talaga yung party.

Rest day kaya ang linggo sabi ni Papa Jesus!

Mga batang 'to.

Nakaka-amaze though ang mga kabataan na maraming enerhiya para magsasasayaw. Kung ialog ang mga ulo kasabay ang kumpas ng kanta, akala mo hindi magkaka-hangover bukas eh.

"Gusto mong maki-join?"

I snapped out of my thoughts when Karina spoke. "Sorry?"
 
"Sali tayo dun?" She nodded once towards the party.

"Ay, no. I'm tired."

"Balik na tayo?" Aya niya, concerned over my exhausted state.

"Para dun -" Tinuro ko yung mga bagets on our left. "- pagod ako. For you, nope."

Pabiro niyang tinulak ang mukha ko.

"Di ka ba talaga puma-party noon?" Curious niyang tanong. "Sabi nila Chaeryeong every time aayain ka nila, auto pass ka eh."

"I had my fair share of parties back in college, not really my scene. Pano pa kaya kung club?" I said, shaking my head in distaste. Iniisip ko pa lang yung iba't-ibang kulay ng ilaw, nahihilo na ako. "Ikaw ba?"

"What do you think?" Balik niyang tanong.

"Ikaw?" I leaned back, narrowing my eyes at her as I try to guess. "I can't imagine."

"Believe it or not, ako pa ang nag-aaya." She let out a groan. "Nakakapagod maalala yung time na yun."

Huh.

Party girl Karina.

Not that I mind or was expecting a different answer, nakaka-curious lang.

We were startled when a girl shrieked, making us turn to the party.

Akala namin kung ano ang nangyari, natapunan lang pala si ate ng beer. After a few seconds of regarding her now slightly drenched top, nag-resume siya sa pagsasayaw.

O diba? Ang lagkit niyan mamaya.

Mga bata nga naman talaga.

"Alam mo.." Simula ko as I watch those teens jump on their feet sa kung anong remix ng kanta. ".. when I was younger, I promised myself I would never be like those older people, yung may mga annoying one-liner."

"Annoying one-liner?"

"Yeah. Yung mga side comments nila. For example, 'kids today..'."

"Oh my god, yes." Gumusot ang mukha niya sa pagkairita. "Paka-condescending."

"Diba?"

"Laging sinasabi sakin ng mga tita ko -- 'papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na 'ko'." Sabi niya with a blank face like she was so done with them, making me laugh.

"Wala naman sinabi sakin tita ko pero si Ate - you'll understand when you're older."

"Si Ate - wait until you reach insert-her-current-age." She rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Tapos maiinis ka kasi pinamukha sayo na wala ka pang alam sa mundo." Natatawa kong sabi. "Not the best thing to say to teens going through their teen-angst phase."

"Only to realize later on na totoo nga, there are some things you can only understand when you get older."

"Yup," I said, popping the p sound.

I admit there are times, just like this one, that make me question younger people.

Di ko mapigilan eh. Pinamana at tinanggap ko ata unconsciously yung ugali na yun.

Maybe because I know what will happen next concerned lang ako?

I don't know.

But whatever it is, sinusubukan kong alisin yung ugali na yun because I know how it feels, naging bata din ako. Nakatanggap din ako ng mga ganyan dati for simply enjoying my life, may judge-y eyes pa minsan.

Let kids be kids.

Yan ang one-liner ko.

At hindi ba mas okay yung nandiyan ka as their guide without those unnecessary comments? Yun kasi yung nakakapikon eh. Napakayabang ng dating, para bang they did it better. As if naman it'll make us listen to them diba?

Karina bumped her shoulder to mine. "Anything you wanna tell them, oldie?"

"My age has made me wiser so -" I cupped my mouth with my hands. "Sulitin niyo na hangover-free mornings niyo!"

Like I said, di ko mapigilan minsan.

May halong inggit nga lang yung ngayon in terms of recovery from intoxication.

I smiled when Karina laughed at that.

Thank god funny pa rin ako para sa kanya even though that wasn't my best. For a second I thought I lost my touch.

"But seriously, if you can tell them something about life, anong sasabihin mo?"

"Mukha ba silang ma -" Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang ma-distract sa isang lalake. Parang ang bata niya masyado para maki-party dun. "Babe, tingin mo ilang taon na sila?" 

"Kanina pa sila umiinom so sana 18. Though yung isa.."

Parehas pala kami ng tinutukoy nung ituro ko si totoy.

Di kami nakuntento sa isa, naghanap pa kami ng ibang party goer na questionable ang age judging by their looks.

Lumingon si Karina sa akin na para bang may na-realize. "Ang iksi ng attention span natin together no?"

"Baket - ay oo nga." I grinned when I remembered the question from earlier. "Anyway. I doubt they'd believe me, let alone listen."

"Malay mo." Sabay naming nilingon ang mga kabataan. "Impart some life lesson to the next generation, babe."

'Next generation.'

Elder yan?

"Baket, kung 18 ka, and I approached you saying you'll end up where 26 year-old Karina is right now, maniniwala ka sakin?"

Bumaling siya sa unahan and with her very cartoon-like self, napaisip. 

"See?"

"Knowing my 18 year old self?" Umiling-iling siya. "You're right, hindi ako makikinig. Magagandahan lang ako sayo."

I bit the inside of my cheek, pigil ang nagbabadyang ngiti sa mga labi.

Caught off guard ako dun!

While she, well, she looked shameless.

"Babe, the discussion is about how receptive you are, not how.. gay you are."

"Kaya nga. Wala akong mapro-process kasi c'mon, babe, have you seen yourself?"