NO ONE'S POV

Jeongyeon woke up in the middle of the night, even with the unfamiliar ceiling she knew where she is. She's sober enough to remember everything, even every word that Nayeon has said. The only reason why she fell asleep was she got tired of crying. She turns to her side and found her phone's screen turn's on and off, someone's calling her. Usually, she doesn't pick up a call for a number she doesn't recognize but with her hazy mind, she just pressed the button.

*INCOMING CALL : UNKNOWN NUMBER*

"Hey Jeong? It's Nayeon. I'm sorry to bother you but you suddenly left earlier. I just want to make sure you went straight home."

Jeongyeon couldn't answer her, she couldn't find the right words to say. Nayeon's voice was enough to make her cry again, to make her world go crumbling down.

"I know you're angry but I couldn't rest my mind until I make sure you're at home."

JY : "I-I'm home." She said trying hard to conceal the fact that she was in tears.

"Arraso, that's the only thing I want to hear. Don't rush yourself, I'll wait until you're ready to talk again. Good night Jeong." She drops the call.

Jeongyeon sat on the bed, she looked at the time, it was just 3 in the morning but the girl was still up. She looked at her call logs and it seems she's been calling her since she walked away from her. She took her keys and left but she made sure to leave a message to Jihyo. She didn't want her to wake up in a panic.

"Ji I went home, don't worry I'll just be in my place. You can call me when you wake up. Thanks for last night and sorry." She texted her.

-

The drive back home was serene, there's not that much car on the road. It's too quiet it felt like she's the only one left in the world. Her heart was calm and her body was light it almost feels like she's flying.

After all these years, her mind was finally lucid, again.

It's like that calm day after a raging storm.

It's warm and clear but it's when the devastation sinks in.

When she reached home, she went straight to bed, she didn't have the energy to keep on standing. She stared at the blank space and just when she thought she already cried enough, the tears started to fall again.

-

Yoo Jeongyeon loved Im Nayeon in a way nobody can compare to.

She was her world, her most prized possession. Nayeon was the girl of her dreams, there was nothing you can say that can change Jeongyeon's mind. The anger just came in when she left without saying a word. Jeongyeon threw the image she has of Nayeon, the perfect girl, and replaced it with someone selfish.

For 7 years Jeongyeon made herself believe that Nayeon was someone who doesn't care about anyone other than herself,

Nayeon was selfish.

She made herself believed that the girl didn't really love her,

Nayeon was a liar.

She made herself believe in things that made Nayeon look like a monster. For 7 years that's how she sees her, for 7 years she believed in things she thought were the truth. So what is she supposed to do when those things turn out to be nothing but lies?

That the real monster here was Jeongyeon.

She left for her sake, she left because she was afraid she'll break Jeongyeon along with herself

Nayeon was selfless.

She left because she loved her to the point she was ready to look bad to everyone else, she put Jeongyeon first even on her most difficult time.

Nayeon was thoughtful

Im Nayeon loved Yoo Jeongyeon in a way not even her can compete.

-

And the day felt like a week. She laid there the whole time, the older girl didn't show up today. She didn't hear anything from her too, maybe it was the right thing to do. Jeongyeon is still having a hard time processing everything that she heard.

-

The next day she woke up late in the morning, she's too tired she couldn't even wake up early. Today instead of staying in bed, she went outside to run. She runs and runs as if she was chasing after someone. People looked at her as if she was crazy, she was huffing, she was a wreck, and whenever she stops she finds herself crying. She doesn't even want to get drunk, today she just wants to feel the pain.

Because 7 years of her life was made up of hate and lies, she doesn't even know who to get angry with now.

Who's to blame for this unbearable pain?

[2PM]

Jeongyeon went back home and laid on the couch, she opens one of her windows. Just like yesterday, the pain put her to sleep.

*RUSTLING*

She quickly got up, it could be her just hearing things or her mind losing it's sanity but she wanted to make sure. The girl was frozen in place, Nayeon was right in front of her.

NY : "Mianhe did I wake you up?"

Jeongyeon didn't answer she just stood still.

NY : "I wanted to make sure you're doing okay. That you're eating properly. When I arrived I found you sleeping in the corner, it was a relief that you're okay. I'm leaving soon, I'm just finishing this."

Jeongyeon has her hoodie on, her hair was getting in the way. The girl probably couldn't see it because if she saw how Jeongyeon's eyes were swollen from crying, she wouldn't say she's okay. Jeongyeon just went back in laying on the sofa. Her knees couldn't hold her up.

NY : "I thought you'll want to eat something after waking up."

Jeongyeon stayed quiet and Nayeon understands.

NY : "You still act the same way you did before. You still don't talk after waking up huh? And that sofa, that's your favorite place to take an afternoon nap especially after a tiring day of practice. Hmm, what was the reason again?" She said trying to lighten up the mood.

JY : "It's because at 2 pm..." She unconsciously said.

NY : "Maja, at 2 pm the ray of the sun falls perfectly in that corner making it the warmest and most comfortable place to sleep in the afternoon. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy especially on winter days. You open the window because you love the way the wind caresses your skin. You love to leave the radio on before closing your eyes because it makes you relaxed and of course after some time of napping you don't say a word because you love to stare blankly at the ceiling."

She stopped what she was doing and look at the younger girl who was cramped on the sofa.

NY : "Because Yoo Jeongyeon love how peaceful the afternoon is." She continued.

The taller girl just turns to her side hiding.

NY : "Arraso, I got bibimbap ready for you. Eat it whenever you're ready. I'll see you tomorrow Jeong, don't forget to pack your things."

JY : "Nay...." Her voice shakes.

NY : "It's okay Jeong, we don't have to talk about it now. Don't force yourself. I'll wait until you're ready, I'm going."

[DOOR CLOSES]

Jeongyeon found herself in tears again, she spends 7 years resenting the older girl. And Nayeon spends 7 years remembering all the little things about her. Jeongyeon starts hearing what Nayeon said again.

"I was ready to go Jeong."

It's like being stabbed again and again, deeper with each time. She couldn't forgive herself for not noticing. She couldn't forgive herself for not trying hard enough, she knows the answer to her question. There's no one else to blame for that 7 miserable years.

Yoo Jeongyeon couldn't forgive herself.

---

(A/N) There you go, I hope people don't take depression lightly. Just reminder this is just a Fanfic :) I'll see you guys next time!!! I'll try my best to finish this story before the year end, so we can start on a new one.......................... As usual it'll be reveal on the last chapters of this :) The idea just don't stop so I might as well write it down. Again, Have a good day! Stay safe and healthy everyone! Enjoy the holiday :)