I wanted the whole world
Or nothing.

- Charles Bukowshi

Chanyeol woke up to the noise of cupboards being opened and closed. He quickly opened his eyes and was greeted by Baekhyun's back facing him. He immediately sat up with eyes wide open like a deer caught in headlights.

Am I dreaming?

He thought. Then he slowly stood up from the bed and walked closer to the thin figure in front of him. As he reached closer, Baekhyun's face started coming in view. But it was a lot different from usual.

His cheek bones were high as usual but seemed more sharply cut and well defined in an unhealthy manner. There was less flesh on his cheeks, resembling someone who might have starved their bodily requirements for attaining it. His skin colour was well coated by a film of make up. His eyes covered in thick, dark eyeliner. The layers of eyeliner were over whelming, covering the individuality of Baekhyun's eyes. There was also some eye shadow, dark and evenly spread.

Chanyeol wasn't used to seeing Baekhyun wearing so much make up. And despite the fact that Baekhyun looked stunning and way more ier, Chanyeol would undoubtedly prefer seeing his skin garnished by his small brown moles and beautiful imperfections, any hour of the day.

Baekhyun did not greet Chanyeol. He did not even turn. For s sake, he did not acknowledge the fact that Chanyeol was standing right next to him and gawking at him mindlessly.

"Hey." Chanyeol said in a meekly cheerful voice, hoping to finally get to hear to the reasons and excuses Baekhyun had for ignoring him over the last 10 days. Hell, he was dying to hear those excuses. He would accept anything, just any utter bull that Baekhyun had to offer. He would accept it in a single beat of his heart.

"Hmm." Baekhyun mumbled lowly without even looking at Chanyeol. Baekhyun's hands were constantly shuffling through clothes and hangers. He placed all that he needed on his right arm and started walking to the living room. His temperament was way too cool than Chanyeol expected. It was so terribly relaxed and icy cold that Chanyeol found himself getting uncomfortable. He found himself at a loss of words. His demeanor was unreadable and his movements were too confident to be of a person who's done something wrong.

Chanyeol traced behind Baekhyun and found the latter stuffing his clothes in a travel bag. Baekhyun then walked to the dressing table and picked up his other watch from the table and walked back to the bag.

"Are you g- going somewhere?" Chanyeol stuttered as the realization hit him. Baekhyun wasn't home to apologise, he was home for business.

"Business trip." Baekhyun paused while placing his watch carefully in a small pocket on the exterior of the bag and zipping it shut, then continued, "It's a local beach area, two hours away."

"Why weren't you picking up my calls?"

"I was busy."

"You could have just left a message. I was so stressed-"

"I forgot." Baekhyun's voice cut him off in a sharp tone.

No reasoning, no excuses.

And Chanyeol felt his chest tightening because somewhere in the back of his head, he was imagining Baekhyun to be ready with an apology and a thousand excuses. However, this is what Chanyeol wasn't ready for, at all. Baekhyun's unbothered expression felt like a slap to Chanyeol's expectations. He practically had to swallow the lump in his throat and make a conscious effort to stay calm.

Chanyeol didn't know he could feel worse until Baekhyun zipped the bag completely and placed it on the floor and started dragging it while walking towards the main door, his walk remaining carefree.

Chanyeol rushed and grabbed his wrist and turn him around.

"I am talking to you Baekhyun." Chanyeol said angrily.

"But I'm not interested Chanyeol."

"Why are you b- behaving this way, Baek?" Chanyeol found his voice cracking but he couldn't care about it at the moment. He was practically tearing apart.

"Like what?" Baekhyun asked while freeing his wrist from Chanyeol's hand.

"Like- like you, like you d- don't care."

"Probably because I don't."

Baekhyun said and started walking to the main door with the bag.

Chanyeol could feel his nails digging crescents into his palm. He chased after Baekhyun and pushed him against the door before putting both his hands on either side of Baekhyun's shoulders, trapping the elder between his hands. I've had enough, Chanyeol thought.

"Where the hell are you even going?"

Chanyeol growled, his voice loud and authoritative. Baekhyun looked up at him, not scared, but a little bit shocked.

"I got work at office which I need to finish that before the flight."

"When is your flight?"

"Tomorrow evening."

"I'm coming with you."

Baekhyun's expression changed at that.

"No you're not."

"Baekhyun, I'm not allowing you to go alone with those colleagues of yours."

"My colleagues aren't s, Chanyeol!"

Chanyeol huffed at at and said, "Sure."

"And, I can very well take care of myself, I don't need your favours." Baekhyun retorted.

Chanyeol's expression softened and his came out low when he spoke,

"It's no favours, Baekhyun, I- I just..  really care about you."

Chanyeol noticed the sudden change in Baekhyun's eyes. A sudden expression that wasn't carefree and arrogant, but rather scared and vulnerable. A kind of expression that was a huge contrast to Baekhyun's present state which was too confident and cold towards Chanyeol. An expression that seemed soft and more like the kind of Baekhyun that Chanyeol had fallen for.

But before Chanyeol could even register it, it was replaced by a cocky look in a split second. Chanyeol didn't know if what he saw was even real or just his wishful thinking.

"Then stop ing caring about me. Save that for someone else Chanyeol. Because I don't need it."

Baekhyun said loud and clear before pushing Chanyeol away and leaving the house with his bag without looking back.

Chanyeol kept watching while Baekhyun left. He could feel his world crumbling at his feet. Chanyeol sat down on the floor itself as he could feel his vision getting teary. This feeling . The way Baekhyun was pushing him away like he was no one to him, . The way he said I forgot, it felt like a knife cutting through Chanyeol. And he didn't know any other way to control himself, than covering his mouth with his own hand to muffle the sounds of his cries.

He was tired of holding back tears, and so he let them go. He was left like miserable mess on the floor.

Maybe Baekhyun really didn't need him. Maybe, it was all in his head.