In the mountain depths,
Treading through the crimson leaves,
The wandering stag calls.

When I hear the lonely cry,
Sad--how sad!--the autumn is.

-Sarumaru
(100 poems, 100 poets)

_________________________

Chanyeol's voice transformed into muffled cries and moans of his aching soul. First love is meant to have a great impact on a person. It's something that can completely change a person from who they were into someone they never thought they would be.

You are transformed into someone who's a complete stranger to your past self. And all of it happens so quick that before you can contemplate what happened, you are already changed into someone else. And the most strangely amazing part of this process of transformation is that you have no control over it. No matter how hard you try, its just meant to happen.

And this change is not always bad. Temporarily, it can have drastically negative effects and that is the period of endurance. That is the test.

If you overcome it, you have already won the battle. And now the field is yours. This is when you grow. This is when you realize the importance of love, and how the most beautiful form of love is self-love.

And only after you fall in love with yourself, with every beautiful thing about the person you are, only then can you truly understand the meaning of love. And how love is about giving and not expecting anything in return.

Only then you will actually be free. Only then will you love someone truly.

But Chanyeol was still in his phase of growth. He has endured it and now he has to grow into the beautiful individual he is. And Baekhyun was more than ready to help him.

Baekhyun held Chanyeol's face in his hands gently and said,

"It's alright Chanyeol. It's not your fault."

Chanyeol wiped his wet cheeks with the back of his hand and said,

"I was so broken. I was.. I was so hurt. I couldn't even tell him about.. about my.. my feelings for him. And the girl was there, and.. and she was beautiful and he looked so.. so happy. I.. I just couldn't. Baekhyun I tried, I really did and, .. I loved him so much but.. but I couldn't. Baekhyun I.. I really.. "

And Chanyeol couldn't utter a word after that. His silent tears were choking his throat. Baekhyun was so hurt. Seeing Chanyeol in this state was so painful. Baekhyun didn't even realize that he had already started crying. His mind kept telling that he should stop crying first and help Chanyeol out but his heart said otherwise.

And he listened to his heart.

He held Chanyeol by the collar and pulled him close and kissed his lips without thinking twice about it.

Chanyeol was shocked to death. This was the last thing he has expected. But Baekhyun's lips were so soft, so tender and so sweet. Not even the nectar of sunflowers could compare to the sweetness of Baekhyun's lips. And Chanyeol didn't even realize when his entire being melted into the kiss and his eyes closed in the sweetest dream he could even think of and he was kissing Baekhyun back with the depths of his heart.

He placed his hand on Baekhyun's cheek and kissed back without thinking of the consequences. Baekhyun pulled back. The kiss wasn't a long one. Hardly a few moments but it felt like an eternity to Chanyeol. For some unknown reason, Chanyeol felt hurt when Baekhyun pulled back hesitantly. He wanted it to last longer.

Baekhyun said in a soft tone,

"I am sorry, but I didn't know how to stop you from crying. So I just.. I don't know, I am sorry."

Chanyeol blinked and replied,

"Oh. Okay."

And now Chanyeol felt worse. He didn't know what to say anymore. And the worst part was that Chanyeol couldn't understand why he was feeling bad. He couldn't understand why the kiss felt great. He didn't know why he got all awkward on seeing Baekhyun changing clothes in front of him. It was all weird to him.

Weird, strange and new.

"So I ran away from that city and came to Paris but i was so hopeless. I ultimately decided to give up. But then, you happened."

Chanyeol completed before switching the lights off and going back to sleep.

It was still very early to stay up.

But the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach wasn't letting him sleep. He kept remembering how Baekhyun pulled him into a kiss. How his soft, pink lips felt on his own. How Baekhyun's lips were the sweetest thing he has ever tasted.

On the other hand, Baekhyun was haunted by his own self. He had no ing clue why he kissed Chanyeol. He said he couldn't see Yeol crying but then, he has seen many people crying and this was the first time he responded in such a strange manner. Chanyeol just looked so innocent, so tender and so vulnerable. The tears flowing down his cheeks made him look so beautiful. As if kissing him at that moment was the most logical thing left on earth. As if it was the only thing worth doing. As if Baekhyun's body had a mind of its own.

And Baekhyun felt a jolt of electricity running down his spine. Chanyeol's kiss was nowhere near perfection but it felt amazing. Baekhyun has had numerous partners but no kiss felt that great.

'I should stop thinking about this!'

Baekhyun mentally scolded himself and tried sleeping next to Chanyeol. But just feeling Chanyeol's breathing next to him was making him uneasy.

'You ! Why did you do this! You are such an idiot Baekhyun. I hope he doesn't get awkward with me.'

Baekhyun thought before going back to his futile struggle of falling asleep.