You are only
as blind
as you
decide to be.


 

Present

Baekhyun was waiting for Sehun to speak up. Not that he was willing to hear it, but he knew he did not have an option.

The expression on Sehun's face was too stern for Baekhyun to feel ease.

"Have you packed hyung?"

The question sounded more diplomatic than Sehun cared to admit.

"Almost."

"That's good, " Sehun said. And Baekhyun surely had a bad feeling about where this conversation was leading to.

"Yeah, and what about you?"

Sehun shook his head apologetically.

"What? You know the flight is tomorrow morning, why haven't you packed yet?" Baekhyun asked eagerly.

Sehun said nothing in response. His eyes looking anywhere other than Baekhyun. And Baekhyun realized that maybe this is what Sehun wanted to talk to him about. But Baekhyun's mind was too unprepared to accept it. So he rather decided to push it away and deny it at least as far as he can.

"Come I'll help you pack quickly."

Baekhyun grabbed Sehun's wrist in his hand and tugged at it but Sehun didn't budge. Instead, he slowly looked at up at Baekhyun who was now standing on his feet and looking down at him.

"I'm not coming back with you hyung."

Baekhyun felt his senses going numb on hearing that. He has been living with Sehun and Kai for long enough to be unable to imagine his own life without the two. He felt a lump appear in his throat but there was still a little hope inside him so he quickly sat back next to Sehun and held Sehun's hand in his both hands and said in a mildly cheerful voice, "You're kidding right?" A soft smile illuminating his sad features.

Sehun his dry lips before looking Baekhyun in the eyes and slowly shaking his head in disapproval.

And Baekhyun could feel something very important being snatched away from him. His smile flattened and he slowly detached his eyes away from Sehun's face and asked, "Why? Because I don't love you?"

And Sehun swallowed this time before nodding his head slightly and slowly spoke, "And I want to move on. I know I won't be able to move on if I keep living with you."

Baekhyun nodded, pretending to understand, pretending to be selfless and mature when all he wanted to do was to scream his lungs out, fight and argue and cry.

"Sure, " he said slowly with a false smile on his lips and his head nodding slightly.

"So you'll live here with your brother and his husband?" Baekhyun asked, trying to be more considerate.

"No. I'm living with Kai."

And that was like a bomb dropped on Baekhyun. His head went blank and he couldn't find his voice in his throat. He blinked, trying to think of what to speak, but found no words that could thread the pearls of his thoughts together.

"He decided to stay here and work on building a business, " Sehun continued when he realized that Baekhyun looked too sad to be able to say anything.

Baekhyun took a deep breath and thought to himself that this is what he has always wanted. He has always desired for Sehun and Kai to grow into the best versions of themselves and now that it's actually happening, he didn't want to be the selfish one to ruin it all.

This time he looked at Sehun with a wide smile and glistening eyes and said, "I'm proud of you, " and Sehun couldn't feel more relieved at the moment.

________________________

It was 4 in the morning when Kai returned with Chanyeol, both drunk as . Baekhyun smacked both of them on the head before letting them in.

And even in the drunk state, Chanyeol couldn't think of anything else but Baekhyun being the loveliest person he has ever known. He decided to cure the person who hurt him so badly. He feels he's unlovable maybe because he keeps getting hurt by the ones he try to take care of.

"You drunks! Especially you Chanyeol, we have a flight tomorrow and decided to get your drunk?" Baekhyun said as he pulled Chanyeol to their shared room of the apartment.

"Stand here. And do not move!" Baekhyun said as he made Chanyeol stand in front of himself and started to undress the drunk younger out of the suit and tie. Chanyeol kept looking at him with big eyes.

Baekhyun picked up a random pair of pajamas and t-shirt from the bed. The helped Chanyeol get into the pajamas. And then he started unfolding the tee but Chanyeol suddenly slid both his hands around Baekhyun's waist and pulled him in a tight hug. Baekhyun's hands abruptly landed on Chanyeol's bare chest and he quickly looked back at the taller who was now trying to find comfort in the crevice of Baekhyun's neck.

"This drunk head!" Baekhyun spoke to himself but was caught off guard when Chanyeol mumbled, "Baekhyunnie, I'll always take care of you."

Chanyeol's warm breath felt tingling sensations all over Baekhyun's cold skin. And Baekhyun could feel his heart racing inside his chest.

He needed this hug. No matter how strong he pretended to be about the situation, there's no denying the fact that the mere thought of returning home to a house with no Sehun and no Kai was enough to make him feel more hollow than ever.

So he slowly hugged Chanyeol back and found his share of peace in Chanyeol's warmth.