"The truth."
Dumbledore sighed.
"It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should therefore
be treated with
great caution."

-J.K.Rowling

 

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"At least listen to me." Kyungsoo protested while holding Chanyeol's wrist, preventing him from leaving after Baekhyun.

Chanyeol jerked his hand to free his wrist from Kyungsoo's grip and then he turned to the latter with an angry face and said, "What?" Which almost sounded like a low growl.

Kyungsoo looked at his best friend who suddenly seemed like a totally different person with the same face. There was no way on earth Chanyeol would ever treat Kyungsoo like that. At least, he never did. Not until now. It was scary for Kyungsoo, however, he has always been persistent about what he wants, and how far he can go to get it.

Kyungsoo blinked at the figure standing in front of him, who was looking in another direction. Kyungsoo followed his gaze which led him towards the man Kai introduced as Baek-hyun or something like that. He looked at his feet before speaking, "It's important, at least hear me out once and then decide." Kyungsoo said in a low, firm voice.

Chanyeol looked at him and paused for a moment before slowly nodded without looking at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo started leading the way and Chanyeol followed behind, maintaining an unfamiliar two-step distance between them. It was very odd, considering that they were best friends, the two-step distance between them was a clear indication that now Chanyeol quite felt otherwise. However, Kyungsoo wanted to stick to the thought that probably he's making up things, or maybe it's just that Chanyeol is a little angry but it'll be all good after he tells him the truth.

Kyungsoo has been preparing himself since the moment Chanyeol left the city. He kept blaming himself for Chanyeol's condition. He was also partially right to do so. But saying that he was entirely unaware of Chanyeol's affection towards him wasn't exactly accurate. And he was also smart enough to distinguish between the affection of a friend and that of a lover. But Chanyeol wasn't lucky enough to receive reciprocation of his feelings. Rather he was gifted with pretentious unawareness about his own feelings.

Chanyeol has always been a crystal clear person. He was too easy to read for those who wished to understand. But in this exact moment, Kyungsoo wanted to seize the comfort offered by his wishful thinking rather than Chanyeol's forward moves.

After they stopped under a secluded tree, distant enough from the wedding area, so the music was only a soft tuning in the background and the crowd was way too far to disturb them, Chanyeol asked, "What do you want?"

"Why are you acting like this?"

Chanyeol laughed humourlessly in a mocking tone. "Of course. Why am I acting like this? Right! Probably I should be hugging you since we met after such a long time? Or maybe we should go together and buy gifts for your girlfriend. How about that?"

Chanyeol's tone was far from being calm. It was angry and vengeful, harsh and mean, completely foreign to Kyungsoo's ears. And the smile stuck on his face was anything but real.

"We broke up," Kyungsoo said plainly in a low voice while his eyes were fixed to the floor.

Chanyeol's eyes grew wider and the scornful look on his face drowned into a much sadder face as he uttered, "Oh. B-But why?"

"Maybe because I never loved her." He answered as if it was nothing.

"But- but you told me that-that day that-"

"That I love her?"

"Yes."

"I lied."
Kyungsoo said in a small voice.

Chanyeol became confused. He wasn't able to process the information.

"Why would you lie to me?" He asked softly.

Kyungsoo inhaled a sharp breath, paused for a moment, gathered all the courage he had before continuing, "Because I figured out that you were in love with me."

Chanyeol eyes popped out even more and his throat went dry. Now, this was the real information he couldn't contemplate. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it shut when he couldn't decide which words to pick. It was more like he forgot how to speak. The vocabulary he has learned as a child suddenly went missing inside his system. And then the memories of how Kyungsoo showed him to his girlfriend started playing inside his head. He felt a strong pang of betrayal piercing his heart like a sharp wooden arrow.

"You knew? All- all this time, you-you knew it?" He finally asked seeking his voice in the pit of his throat.

Kyungsoo did not answer but his silence was screaming his guilt. He kept his eyes to the floor and that's when Chanyeol lost it.

"You- you knew and yet, yet you did that. You resented me this much Soo? And- and I kept thinking that you're my best friend when all you did was hate me. How could you Soo? H-how?" Chanyeol's voice started to crack as tears started leaking from his eyes. His voice kept becoming louder with each word he uttered. His heart was crying for answers which Kyungsoo wasn't ready to spit out.

"I kept believing that ma-maybe someday you'll love me as-as much as I loved you. And all that time you were waiting for the right moment to break me into pieces. Why Soo, why? You could have just told me that you didn't love me and I would've left you alone but wh-"

Kyungsoo was growing weaker and weaker with every word Chanyeol uttered. He never hated Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo couldn't hold himself anymore. His legs had given up from the mental exhaustion as he fell on his knees, burying his face in his hands as fresh hot tears started rolling down his cheeks. Chanyeol's words were repeating inside his head, cutting him like blade cuts flesh 'you could've just told me that you didn't love me.' And that one sentence was enough to push the words buried in the depth of Kyungsoo's soul to the tip of his dry tongue as he said, "I wish I didn't love you Chanyeol."

Chanyeol stopped mid-sentence and gulped the lump in his throat. His heart was beating like a drum.

"What do you mean?" He uttered softly, his voice almost inaudible.

"I mean I ing love you Chanyeol. And yes. Yes, I've loved you all these years. But I was a ing coward who couldn't accept our love and decided to ruin it." Kyungsoo said as broke into a crying mess on the ground.

Chanyeol's mind was getting dizzy. He stumbled and quickly held the bark of the tree for support to avoid falling to the ground. He blinked as he continued looking at Kyungsoo's crying figure before him.

"I thought, I- I thought that if I push you away, I'll get over you and you'll start forgetting about me. But- But I- You went missing and I looked everywhere but I couldn't find you. And- and I thought I lost you, Chan."

Kyungsoo held Chanyeol's leg for support as he got up. He gripped Chanyeol's hand with his both shaky hands and looked at Chanyeol who looked devastated.

Chanyeol kept mum, looking anywhere that wasn't Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo's face was red, eyes were swollen and puffed, cheeks wet with tears. Kyungsoo wiped a fresh tear away with the back of his hand before he said, "Please, Chanyeol. Please. Please forgive me. Will you? Please take me back. Can we start afresh?"