Suju Dorm

HeeChul keeps on thinking about someone since last night. Last night, he just watched some of her ex-girlfriend's drama. He feels like he really miss her ex-girlfriend. He is too young when they are together. There are so many things that he regretted in their previous relationship. She's the only one that do change him. A lot. She dumped him but she never treat him badly. Narcissism. That's what she point out from him. A serious thing in him that he don't even realised. Since that time, that's what he is trying to scrap out from himself until this day.

Flashback

They started to become closer after the accident that almost make him lost his life. She had been holding her feeling for him for quite a long time. She already fall for him on the first sight. But, they are just friend. As she almost lost him, she feels that she need to confess before it's become too late. She visits him quite a few times.

"Yaa, HeeChul. Can you eat in that condition? Your tongue cut off and your legs is shattering into pieces. Aigoo~ I can't see you like this." she said already start to cry. "HyeBin-ah. My tongue is just ripped a lot not cut off. And it is quite okay now. I can even eat my favourite food now. Don't cry now. I already prettier than you. Don't make yourself uglier by crying." HeeChul said while laughing. She just already knows how HeeChul love to praise himself. She can't deny that he is handsome and gorgeous at the same time. She wonders how he can be good looking in both way. "Isn't that the same?" she just rolled her eyes.

 "Chullie-ah. I don't really know how to explain it. But, I can't hold this feeling anymore after seeing you in this kind of condition. I'm afraid that I will never got this chance anymore after this to tell you. I love you, HeeChul." she said without even looking at HeeChul. She just looking down to her lap. She is afraid to know how HeeChul will react to her confession. They had been friend for quite a long time. He must think that this is ridiculous. That's what she thinks. But, HeeChul hugs her. She is startled. 

"Binnie-ah. Thanks for confessing to me. I do have a same feeling. Having you visit me always make me feel special, make me feel being loved. I've waited for you to visit me everyday. I'm glad that we shared the same feeling. Saranghae." HeeChul said to her. That's how they become a couple. They had a loving relationship for quite a few months. She can tolerate his stand for making their relationship a secret by avoiding having any kind of couple stuff. He will not leaving any trace about their relationship. But, what she can't really stand about him is only one. Narcissism. He always think about himself first. Sometimes, he just make her feel that she is not even exist. He just not even care about her. What she feels? Does she change? Did she lose weight? He just don't even bother about that. She will never win their  fight. He always thinks he is right. That's the only thing she can't stand about him. But, he never realised that.

"Chullie-ah. I really can't stand this anymore. I love everything about you. Just this one thing. Your narcissism. Change that for your next relationship. I'll always love you as a friend. Goodbye, Chullie." she said. She gave him a peck on both of his cheeks. That's how their last date going on. He never forget what she said to him.

End of Flashback

"Chul. Why are you look so down since last night? Want to share?" EeTeuk said while resting his arm on HeeChul's shoulder. "I just remembering someone from the past." HeeChul said. "Your ex-girlfriend?" EeTeuk asked teasingly. "Neh." HeeChul answered weakly. "Wow! I bet she must be the special one." EeTeuk said. "Neh. She is the only one that I always remembered until now. I'm thankful to her." HeeChul said while leaning to EeTeuk. Fortunately, there are only them in the dorm.

"I can see that you are changing. You are a better person now. Is that because you are matured enough or it has something to do with her?" EeTeuk asked. "Neh. She point out my problem that I don't even realised and I'm trying to change from day to day." HeeChul said. EeTeuk can clearly see how HeeChul changes. He is not the old HeeChul that only thinks of himself. HeeChul who always point back their mistakes everytime they fight. HeeChul now is more tolerate. The savage HeeChul is still there but he is now know how to hold his feeling. HeeChul now thinks a lot about the members before himself. He even cries when he is alone thinking that he is the reason why we can't have more aggressive dance moves like younger boybands can do. Because of his bionic legs. But, we never think that way. Our bond is way too important than the dance moves. It is beyond the criticism that we received from the haters. Who cares? We have our ELF. We have our members that always there to support us. We are ELF's Superman.

"Why don't you try to get back together?" EeTeuk said giving his suggestion. "I don't think she will accept me back. I'm sure she has someone that love her by all his heart. And that guy is way too good to be compared to me." HeeChul spills. "Aishh. Same condition with me." EeTeuk said while scratching his neck. "Ani. You treat her well before. There's nothing to be regretted on how you treat her before. But, I'm not. I really want to care for her, to treat her well, to notice even a small thing about her, to shower her with my love. But, I lost the chance." HeeChul said bitterly. "Promise me that, if you really get that chance after this just grab it and treat her the best way you can. Can you?" EeTeuk said. They just shared a high five and laugh. Two man that are not so lucky in their love life. 

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EeTeuk is just walks around the night market. He just looking for any stuff that can attract him until he found something. A girls bracelet. That's cute. That's what he thinks. The bracelet is so simple. A silver bracelet with a thin line of hearts. Two of the heart has two T letters. TaeTeuk. That's the first thing comes to hia mind. Without having any other thought, he just buy it. 

His phone rings. Yoona called him. Yoona told EeTeuk about Jessica intended to leave SNSD for her solo activities and for her fashion desire. Yoona told him about how sad TaeYeon is after Jessica told them her decision. She even left them without telling them where she want to go. EeTeuk had a feeling. He runs to where he thinks his little dongsaeng will go.

EeTeuk POV

I pray that she is there. I pray that she is still there. I need to comfort her. Losing a member is not a simple thing to be handled as a leader. I've lost KiBum and Hangeng physically. And I know the feeling too well. And I know TaeYeon too well to know that she is not in good condition now. She needs someone to share what she feels now. She needs someone to encourage her. She can't be alone now even she tends to be alone thinking about their problem. I run as fast as I can to the dressing room

I can hear a sobbing from the dressing room. My heart aches by her sobbing. I want to hug her. But, I know that I can't. I walked to another entrance and sit behind the glass divider. I write something on my notebook. "Why are you crying? Is there anything you want to share?" that's what I wrote. I slide the paper through the gap. "I've been calling you for quite a few times already. I've decided to wait for just another ten minutes. But, thanks for being here. I do need someone now." TaeYeon said. I know she want to sulk. "I'm here already. Just spill." I wrote.

"Teukie oppa once said to me that I'm free to tell him if I have any problem as a leader. I really have a big problem now. But, I am too awkward to tell him. I've hurt him badly. Luckily, I have you to share. I'm not a good leader, huh? Sica already want to leave us for her fashion desire and her solo career." she spills. "Then, how do you portray a good leader?" I wrote. "Err. Good leader? A leader that can hold their group together for a very long time using any kind of methods?" she said. "What kind of methods? Forcing?" I wrote. I know that she don't really have any answer for my queation. "Honestly, I don't really know what method. So, maybe forcing?" she said. I gulped. What is she thinking?

 "Name one of a good leader according to you." I wrote. "Is this a quizzes that I need to answer to get my evaluation?" she said already become annoying with my question. "Err. Some kind. Hahah. Just answer me." I wrote. "Teukie oppa?" she said without hesitate. I smile so bright even she can't see me. I feel touched that she still remenber me. "Is he? He lost KiBum and Hangeng. So, he can't comply your kind of good leader as you said before." I wrote.

"I do really think of him as a great leader." she said. "So, a great leader is not someone that can hold their members together. The most important thing is the hearts of the members. They have a reason to leave. As a leader, you should respect that. The bond that all of you built is really an important element. Sometimes, even if you sacrifice everything to be a good leader you still can't protect them physically. Sometimes, you just need to let them go. But, make sure to protect all the members's heart together. Never kick them out of SNSD even you think they make a selfish decision. Respect their decision. You've been together for a long time, I believed. The love is there. Make sure everyone in the group protect the love in their heart that you all can still give her a welcoming hug whenever she want to return. She is still SNSD." I wrote a very long words. I can still hear her cries. But, now ia even louder. Ottoke? I want to make her feel calmer. But, she is even sadder.

"Waa! Who are you? How can you give me such a great answer? I can't even say no to each of your words. It do make my mind clearer. I know already how to handle this. Gomawo, whoever you are. I don't really know who you are. But, I think that I feel really comfortable sharing my feeling with you. I've developing new habit, I think. Mianhaeyo, for burdening you." she said apologetically. "Ani. Feel free to share with me. I'm a SONE anyways. But, I'm sorry if I can't be here if you needed me." I wrote.

"Hahah. Gwenchanna. As if, we have telepathy. I can't blame you if you can't be here anytime I need you. But, for all these time that you've been hear for me. What's more I can ask for?" she said. I smile. It is a relieve that I do know she's alright and can handle it by herself. My little dongsaeng already matured enough to be a leader.