2 disgusting and ugly long weeks passed and if you're wondering what happened to me in that 2 weeks, it was beyond horrible.

I didn't attend school because I was afraid, even though Hanbin was beside me giving all the fullest support he had for me, I was still embarrassed about it.

I tried attending school but it was hard.

Everybody was literally talking and gossiping about me.

I kept telling myself that there were no worries because I have iKON and Lovelyz but as time goes by, I felt it was getting harder and harder each day.

My heart was in a mess and I couldn't even concentrate in the class.

When I entered the school website, I was horrified because the website was hacked by anonymous and the video was literally all around nation.

I could see different social media platforms were talking about me and I was currently rank 1 on the Naver Search engine.

I was trend on twitter and even people from other country came to know about it.

My American schoolmates started taking the advantages and ill-speak about me once again.

Creating unnecessary rumors and sharing information about I made up with their boyfriend, etc. Some were truth and I couldn't deny it, but why did they only waited till now to rant on social media?

I also received threat messages to kill myself and people like me don't deserve to be living in the world. 

I never felt so embarrassed with my whole entire life before and the worse thing was Hanbin lost his respect from all those rookies groups and he was always coming back with new bruises each and every single day.

It was all my fault.

It was all my fault that iKON was getting hurt.

My condition was getting worse and worse every day, I lost my appetite and frightened thoughts always raced in my mind, not leaving any peace for me.

My life was surrounded by the haze of fear, afraid that one day iKON would be in a worse condition than just bruises all over their faces. 

You would never know how reckless a gang would do to people around.

They were crazy.

For the entire 2 weeks, I was blaming myself and locking myself in the room refused to go out to meet anybody.

That strong and tough Song Sua before was gone.

No matter how hard I tried to bring up my courage to the conquer the difficult situation in front me, the next moment I realized my life was already doomed.

Like literally.

No matter where I go to, the video would follow me around and people accusing me that it was me without listening to my explanation.

They were forever turning their back against me.

"Are you sure you are going to be alright?" Hanbin asked as he sat the edge of my bed.

 I hugged my knee closer to my chest and nodded my head gently with my red and weary eyes from lack of sleep.

"Do you want to take a stroll out for awhile?" Hanbin suggested as he put his hand on my shoulder.

I shoved his hand away from me lightly as I moved away from him silently, I still couldn't accept the fact that I was still the reason why Hanbin looked like right now.

I was absolutely guilty and no words could describe sorrow I was now.

"At least, eat something?" Hanbin suggested again.

I knew he was worried about me and everything he suggested was for my own good but do I even deserved the way Hanbin was treating me now? 

Absolutely, not.

I was a selfish .

I only cared for myself, everybody around me was hurt and there was no way for me to mend it.

"Sua," Hanbin sighed. "Do you know how worry all of us are? Stop making us worry."

"Get out." That was the only word I said to him.

I didn't mean to be harsh but no one could understand how I felt now.

I was too embarrass to even look at him now, I don't deserve his care at all and the longer he stayed in the same room as me, the longer I felt guilty.

I have totally no rights.

The more he cared and worried for me, the more I felt worse inside me.

Hanbin nodded his head and understood I preferred to be alone, he left my room with his head hung low and filled with melancholy.

I stared at my window aimlessly with thousands of thoughts racing through my confusing mind.

Sometimes I didn't even know what was I thinking, it was like I wa