"Good morning Jangmi!" Jungkook said with a cheery tone. He sat down and he took Jangmi's hand in his own. "It's Seokjin's birthday today. He said your gift to him can just be to wake up soon healthy, so make sure you do that for him as well as yourself."

  His cheery face grew a little melancholy. "It's story time again I guess…I'm up to the part I never wanted you to know about."

  He sat there silent for a while. Time ticked on slowly, but he sighed and started talking again. "Well, around two years ago, and I guess the year before it…I wasn't really that happy. But I'm not really sure if I could call it sad either…I just felt…nothing."

  "Everything looked so bleak. Very few things seemed romantic or good to me. Everything around me seemed extremely realistic and the reality for me was that there wasn't much meaning to anything. Things started seeming so nihilistic."

  "Every day, I got up, went to school, talked to the same people, went out somewhere after school, and came home to the same empty house. My parents were never around. I hadn't seen them in almost years. I got news that my mom remarried again. Anytime I got a call from my father, it felt like there was a disconnection. I was talking to my dad, but there was no fatherly relationship. It just felt like I was talking to an automated voice, telling me things like how he just hired a gardener to trim our hedges."

  "I rarely heard from my mom either. Whenever she called, I noticed just how empty her words were. She sent numerous gifts but the all seemed so worthless to me. I started realising that neither of my parents really cared for me. They kept a minimal relationship out of obligation, but really there wasn't anything real in it. The last person who I could have called real family had left out the doors and retired to Busan."

  Jungkook's tone was melancholy and is face was near expressionless as he recalled his memories. "Remember when I told you that I felt nothing when I upset Jimin? You probably thought that it was horrible of me. But it's true, and Jimin wasn't the only one though. I started feeling like that towards all my friends."

  "I realised how shallow my relationships with all my friends were. When we talked, it was only about the really generic things that were deemed socially acceptable within our group. I didn't really know them that well, and the same could be said for them. I didn't know about their family, their feelings, anything that would have made the relationship real. We never talked about these things. We were only friends because we saw each other every day in school. If we left school, we would never say another word to each other."

  "I remember one incident when I saw one of my friends cry. He was a tough guy so seeing him cry was a huge deal. I don't really know the reason for him crying, he just seemed to break down one day. A girl nearby started crying too. I asked her why and she said that she felt sad because he felt sad."

"I didn't feel anything. Not one bit. I just watched him cry with no emotion. And I was supposed to be his friend. This girl who was a stranger felt more for him than I did. All I could do was give him generic advice and pat him on the back. All I could do was act."

  "I basically just stopped caring. About anything. I started to care less and less about the people around me. There were still a few people I cared about like Sewon and my nanny, but for the most part, I didn't care about anyone else. Looking back, I think I was depressed."

  "Day after day, I listened less to what my friends talked about. I started finding that keeping up the shallow relationship and the façade that I was normal was tiresome. I couldn't be bothered to do it anymore, but I still had to. I never really told Sewon about it, but she's sharp so she picked up that something was wrong with me. She gave me advice and told me to cheer up. I tried for her sake, so I continued for a while longer."

  "I went to some parties, but I started hating it. Being among so many people but not knowing a single one just highlighted that I was alone. The drinks started to taste bland, and the music all sounded to me like I had heard it a million times before and they no longer held any appeal to me. One day as I was driving my bike down a road, I saw that the road lead to a split, marked by a wall right ahead of me. Then a thought came into my head. I wondered it if I didn't break, and I just kept going, what would happen. Would I live? Or would I die? I didn't really care what happened to me at that point, and I knew that the people around me wouldn't care either, my parents, or my friends. Sewon wasn't even in my mind at the time. So I took a gamble on my own life."

  "The accident wasn't an accident. I had caused it myself. I sent myself to this hospital." He made a pained and regretful face toward Jangmi. "I know that is you can hear me, you'd be so appalled. You probably want to yell at me for being so stupid, or even slap me in the face. I know. But back then I started to think that things were going to be like this forever. It just looked like my future was leading straight into an empty, black hole. I know that it was short sighted, I know that it was wrong, but that was what I believed back then."

  Jungkook was silent for a moment. "I never wanted you to know this. I never intended to tell you. You must be so disappointed in me right now. I know how you value life. I know that I just gave up. And for something that could have been so easily fixed. Please forgive me."

  "…But there was one good thing that came from me doing that…I met you."

[A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR LITTLE FETUS JEON JUNGKOOK!!! HE'S FINALLY LEGAL! YAY! Don't go too crazy tho Jungkook  ARMY's love you so much!]