Kyuhyun POV

“She did what?” I gasp.

“She failed.” Henry sighed.

“Okay, her failure, or actual failure.”

“Her failure.”

I gave out a sigh of relief, “Thank god.” I say, “I thought it was actually something serious.”

“It is serious!” Henry exclaimed, soon quieting down as he realized that we were in a library. He leaned in and whispered, “She’s been really sad recently. And not any kind of sad, like her usual stress sad, but like a sad sad. As in, she won’t even laugh at my puns.”

“I wouldn’t blame her, they .”

“Shut up.”

“But regardless, do you have any other idea, other than math?”

Henry shook his head, “None. Why don’t you go check up on her?”

I was a bit surprised at his response. “Why me?”

“Because you seem to be better at talking to her than I am.”

Has he not been listening to my, “OH MY GOD, I RUINED IT AGAIN!” talk about Alex?

“What? But you’ve known her longer.” I say, crossing my arms.

“Well I know her in a different way. I’m her friend when she needs to rant to and occasionally comfort her. You’re the friend that tends to mess things up” (Note, he did not use mess but used an American term that is similar to a Vietnamese noodle soup) “SO GO FIX IT!” he yelled in a whisper.

I blinked, “How are you so sure I messed things up?”

Henry just gave me a look that practically just said, “Really? Don’t even start with me!” and crossed his arms as he continued to stare.

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t mess it up this time.” I mutter.

“Well just check.”

“Besides, when do I mess things up?” I fixed my glasses.

Henry just stared at me. “Again, I’m her friend when she needs to rant to. I know a lot of things. Even the things you don’t tell me.”

I was silent, “Okay, once I’m done with this assignment I’ll go see her.”

~~~~~~~~~~’

I didn’t call. Which was, in a way, a good idea, and a bad idea. I was in front of her door, thinking about whether to knock or to run away. But gas is pretty expensive, and I might as well just get it done and over with.

I took a deep breath and knocked.

“Who is it?” Alex—oddly—sang.

“Your friend.” I say.

I could hear her footsteps walking towards the door, “Who?” she asked, hitting the door with her body.

“…Are you okay?”

“PFFT, yeah, I’m fine.”

I held onto my bag, staring at the door. “Alex, are you drunk?”

She opened the door slightly, her head peaking out. “Just a little.” She whispered, pinching her fingers.

I didn’t know what to say. “Um…Should I come back another time?”

She shook her head, swinging the door open. “Come in!”

I was silent. “Why are you drunk?”

“Hold on!” she said before I took a step. “Are you going to take advantage of me?”

“No…”

“Then you may come in.” she bowed.

I slowly came in, “Again, why are you drunk?”

“Because I’m stupid.” She giggled, closing the door. “I’ve always been curious about my limit.”

Alex began stumbling to the living room and nearly tripped if I hadn’t caught her. “Alex, why?” I sighed. “I think you were supposed to do this with a friend.”

“Chae made me mad, Henry was busy, you were busy, the usual.” She twirled to her couch.

“Alex, you could had done this another time.”  I sigh as I sat down.

She looked at me, a smile on her face as she took off my glasses, “You look very attractive with glasses on.”

“Thank you, but Alex, I would rather you tell me—”

She put my glasses on, “Woah! You have better vision than I do!” she giggled.

“Alex.”

She looked at me, pressing her back on the couch, “Sunbae, why are you here?”

There was an awkward silence. “Henry was worried about you, he says that you’ve been extremely stressed.”

“That’s because his puns .”

I let out a light chuckle, “That’s what I told him, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Alex just looked at me, a smile on her face. A silence pursued, and soon, her smile fell off her face. Something was wrong, I could tell. Her eyes weren’t normal—it could be because she’s drunk, but when people are drunk, they’re more honest.

“Tell me, what’s wrong?”

She looked at me, then at her fingers, taking my glasses off of her face, “You know, there are things that I don’t normally tell people.” She begins fiddling with my glasses.

“Alex, you know you can tell me anything.”

Alex curled up and looked at me. “I’m sad.” She forced a laughter. “I’m sad all the time, and I don’t know why. I’ve always been sad.” She stopped playing with my glasses, “It’s been like this for such a long while too. Chae was my only friend during high school because I couldn’t talk to anyone else.” She gulped, “I’m stupid, aren’t I? I can’t even make friends.”

“You have me.”

“Yes, but do you know how I met you? Through Chae. Chae, I’ve met everyone through either Chae or my brother, never on my own, and it bugs me, you know? It’s like, I’m not capable of finding my own happiness, and thus depend on others.” She took a deep breath, “I want to find my own happiness.”

“Alex, just because you met people through your brother and Chae doesn’t mean—”

“It’s not only that.” She forced  a laugh, “With every guy I met through Chae, they’ve hurt me.” Alex looked at me, and I felt a pang of guilt. “With you, I thought, oh hey, a person that might be a decent guy that won’t play nice to me just to get near Chae. You were clear with your motives, and I felt like you actually wanted to be my friend.” She pressed her forehead on her knees, “I’m so stupid, aren’t I?”

I leaned closer, not knowing what to do. Before I realized what I was doing, my hand was running through her short hair. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t look up.

“I’m sorry that I’m stupid, I’m sorry that I hurt you.” I continued, “I really do want to be friends with you, because you are important to me. Alex, I know, I’m extremely stupid, and I’ve made stupid mistakes, but you’re one of the few girls that I genuinely enjoy talking to. I like the fact that I can talk to you about things without getting nervous, or without stopping, and I like how whenever there’s a silence, we’re both okay with it.” I took a deep breath, “I’m just…I’m stupid.” I scooted closer to her, pressing my head on her shoulder. “I’m extremely stupid. I shouldn’t have done anything.”

Alex was shaking a bit, “That’s why I’m dating Seunghyun.” She muttered, “I met someone without the help of others, and he liked me all on his own.”

I smiled, backing away, patting her back.“I’m glad you’re happy then.”

“Am I?”

My brow raised. “What do you mean?”

“I’m just…Maybe it’s just the beginning phase of dating, but I’m not happy with Seunghyun. I’m not comfortable. I don’t see him often because he works a lot, and he’s out of the country a lot. I don’t get to talk to him often because he’s always busy, and I really dislike texting someone everything, and…And we don’t really hang out. We don’t walk around the streets carelessly, because he, for some reason, hates that.”

“Alex…”

“I don’t like this.” She mumbled, “Why can’t life just be simpler?”

“Because life is a—”

She suddenly looked at me, her eyes a bit red. “Sunbae, can I be honest with you?”

“Go ahead.”

“I used to like you.” She muttered, “Because you’re such a sweet, and kind guy. Please tell me that I was stupid for liking you.”

I was silent for a bit as I continued to stare at her. “Alex…”

“Please…” she said, “Tell me that I’m stupid, that I shouldn’t have done that. It would take the guilt away.”

“What guilt?”

“Please, just do it.”

I stared at her, brushing my hand on her cheek. I didn’t say anything, but just stared. She looked at me, her eyes looking around, hoping that I would say it, but I wouldn’t. 

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