The thing about being in a relationship is the “getting to know you” part that’s weird. I mean, Seunghyun and I aren’t actually a couple yet, but we’re just dating. It’s weird, I know, especially if you’re younger. But I must say, it’s really awkward.

Seunhyun is such a nice guy, and by nice guy, I mean he’s a spoiler.

“Good day.” He beamed, handing me a bouquet of flowers. I put on a smile and thanked him as we sat down in our booth. Or room. It was one of those fancy Japanese resturaunts where the person could have their own rooms with sliding door.

It feels weird, I don’t know how to describe it. Yes, I should be excited with seeing him, but I couldn’t help but feel awkward. We don’t see each other that much because he works 80% of the time, the other 10% would be sleeping. I don’t mind being a 10% of his time, in fact, I wouldn’t mind being a 5% because let’s be honest here. I’m not that important.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.” I say, staring at the menu.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He smiled, it never leaving his face. “It’s just that, work and stuff. I’m preparing a group for an overseas thing.”

“Really?”

It’s weird, knowing that I’m dating some CEO or some sort. Although, I must say, it’s sketchy. Very, sketchy. Particularly because the guy is like, mid twenties. Maybe he was born in a rich family—must be nice—but I do envy him. Having life handled already, having a good job—a well paying job be that—and managing to balance a life.

He pulled his hair, “Yeah, I mean, it’s just one of those things, you know?” he chuckled.

“Who’s this group?”

“I gave you their CD.”

“Oh, them? Wow, that’s amazing. Where are they going?”

“Japan.”

I looked at him, a confused look on my eyes, “Wait, wait, Japan? Japan? They must be popular then.”

“Well, yes.” He nodded, “Very popular” he said slowly, as though trying to see if I would catch a hint.

“Heh, makes me wish I actually listened to music that these youngins listen to.”

“It’s interesting that you don’t, considering how young you are, and all.”

“I know, but I’m just busy. And I tend to listen to indie and Disney and stuff.”

He smiled, nodding, not knowing what else to say.

I will be perfectly honest. I want to just upright tell him about the New Years trip, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just helping a friend, a good friend, at that, an important one. I didn’t hurt him in anyway, and it’s not like he tells me everything in his life, right?

Or am I just over thinking this?

Funny thing about me, I tend to over think a lot.

Once the date was over, Seunghyun suggested going on separate cars since he has to go straight to his job. I agreed, although I did find it a bit odd.

While walking home, I stopped at boutiques because, well, why not? This was the first time I was outside in a long while, and it was nice. I mean, it beats being at home, writing papers and going on the internet, right? Yes, I was alone, but I was pretty used to it. Loneliness has become a hard won ally of mine, and although he was a bit annoying at first, I enjoy his company now.

One of the benefits about going outside is listening to the world around you. Maybe I’m just one of those philosophical people, but I enjoy listening to the world work. It’s odd, but the air is a bit different when I’m at home or at work. It’s nicer.

Although, it would be nice if I had someone with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait, so let me get this straight.” Siwon said, giving me a confused look, “He just left you to go home? He didn’t even offer you a ride?”

“Why would he?” I mutter, “He was busy. Plus, I didn’t mind. I told him a few times earlier that work was important.”

“But that’s just rude!”

“Siwon, he was busy.” I say again.

Henry in, “Seriously, he should had taken you home. It’s just date etiquette.”

“He bought me flowers though.”

“It doesn’t matter, he should’ve provided you with a taxi ride or something. He seems loaded.” Henry crossed his arms, “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“It’s fine. I’m no one important.”

“You do know that she’s dating that one guy from that one group, right?” Siwon asked Henry.

“What group?” my brow rose, “ What do you mean?”

Siwon looked at me, confusion obviously shown on his face, “No, he’s from this really popular group, err, what’s it called?” Siwon started snapping, trying to get the name.

“I DON’T SHIP THIS.” Henry blurted.

I turn my head, “Wait, what?”

“I. DO. NOT. SHIP. THIS.” Henry said once again, only, with a stern look in his eye. “He’s barely there, he doesn’t answer his phone when you call, he rarely ever picks you up and when he does, he doesn’t take you home. He’s just NEVER there. What’s the point in dating him?”

“Henry, you’re forgetting that this is just a date. We’re just dating. We’re not…You know, a thing yet.”

“But you don’t woo a girl just by giving her flowers and taking her to fancy places!”

“Well, obviously, I’m easily wooed.”

“You don’t sound like it.” Henry puffed.

“Well, I should start dating anyways.” I say, playing with my food. “I don’t want to grow old alone.”

“I don’t want you to grow old with that guy either.” Siwon started, taking a bite of his food, “Why don’t you just break it off?”

I was silent. I didn’t know what else to say other than, “No one’s taken interest in me and made the first move on me, ever.” I looked at Siwon in the eye, “Let’s be honest here. I’m not interesting what so ever, so to have someone give me a second glance is different.”

It’s true. No one has. Particularly because I’m possibly one of the most uninteresting person in the entire world. I read history books, read books, watch nerdy sci-fi shows—I don’t watch movies unless they’re animated or Disney, I spend all my time locked in my room, and I’m bad at conversations. I’m not interesting.

The kind of girls guys go for would be Chae like girls. Beautiful, outgoing, smart enough, knows how to dress up and such. She’s practically the pinnacle of beauty in the country—considering how many people give her second glances when she walks down the street. Heck, she looks like a member of Girls Generation!

“I’m pretty sure there are other guys that give you a second look, you’re pretty attractive.”

“Like the two other guys that found me attractive but then went after Chae right afterwards?” I crossed my arms.

You know, one of the things about being hurt over and over again is that you tend to blame yourself for it. And I know, it’s not my fault, but I can’t help but think, “Am I that unimportant that not just one, but two guys hurt me to be with the same girl?”

Siwon and Henry sighed. Henry looked at me, “Those two were both male s.”

 “That’s exactly who I attract.”

“No, that’s not.”

I took a bit of my food, then let my back rest against the seat. “Oh really? Then who else would I attract?”

“Not those male s” Siwon started, “Neither.”

“Look, fellas, I appreciate both of you, I really do. But let’s be honest—”

“What about that math man, fellow?” Siwon started, “Oh, cursed, what’s his name again?”

“Kyuhyun?” Henry in, “Yeah, I can see that.”

Not this again. It’s always his name, and it bugs me. Ever since the trip, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. His words, his stupid, stupid words. They just kept on replying on my mind, over and over and over again, just like some stupid drama where I’m the bad guy. And I hate it.

“He likes Chae.” I say, “He really likes her.”

“And how would you know that?” Henry asked.

“Have you seen the way he looks at her? He’s like a middle school kid in love.”

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Henry questioned.

“Look, I appreciate you fellows, but I don’t want to be comforted by a lie.”

Because let’s be honest here. He’s not interested in me what so ever. He’s interested in Chae. Which is fine, absolutely fine. But jeez. That trip where I had to pretend to be his lover was absolutely horrible for me (although I think he doesn’t know I’m frustrated, which is a benefit). He’s interested in your only female friend, that’s it. Don’t be confused by mixed feelings. I need to grow up a bit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi, hi, hello! Sorry for never updating. But you can thank my friend for telling me to update. I asked her, "What would you do if you read this fanfiction you really liked, but it hadn't update in a year, but then it did?" she then told me, "It depends, really. If it was a really good fanfiction, then I would see the title and click on it immediately." then I started asking her if I should update, and she nodded going, "Yeah, go ahead."

And I'm so sorry. I've been so busy. I would give you guys a list on what I did, but I just can't. I'm lazy, and I just don't have time.

I didn't proof read this, I didn't check if this was well written, I just wrote because I just couldn't leave you guys just sitting there once more, not knowing what to do. I apologize.

Please forgive this horrible writer.