There's a dull pain at the back of his head when Kyungsoo wakes up a few hours later. He's lying in someone's bed, that's for sure, but it's certainly not his, by the scent of it.

"Soo..." A familiar voice calls out, and Kyungsoo's eyes flutter open.

Jongin's face comes into view, worry etched between creased eyebrows, as he smoothly saunters over to check on Kyungsoo. The older male makes no attempt to push off his ex-boyfriend. After all, the reason why he suddenly turned up at the alpha frat in the first place was to see Jongin. .And now he's getting what he wished for.

"Are you okay, love?" Jongin asks him softly. "Do you feel any pain?"

My heart is still in pain, Kyungsoo doesn't voice it out, because he's not here to pick a fight with Jongin tonight. They've already done a lot of fighting in the past, and honestly, it gets a little tiring after a while. The other guys obviously made plans to bring them back together, and Kyungsoo couldn't run away from it much longer. Maybe it's time they actually settle for a better solution than just sprouting hurtful remarks all the time.

Jongin has certainly shown some changes over the last few weeks, and it doesn't go unnoticed by Kyungsoo anymore. It's just that the older male tends to ignore it most of the time, still doubtful over the younger male's behaviour. Still, there are times when Jongin showed sincerity in the things he do, so it's only right for Kyungsoo to thank him for it.

:"I'm fine." He mutters, not quite meeting Jongin's eyes, because it's difficult for him to think properly when the asswipe is standing so damn close to him. "But we need to talk, Jongin. About...us."

Jongin immediately understands where this is going. Just like Kyungsoo, he's getting tired of fighting too. He knows how much he ed up their relationship in the past; how he cheated on Kyungsoo in that club way back then, how he ignored Kyungsoo because he was always too ing busy to see how much his boyfriend needed him, how he made Kyungsoo feel so insecure about their relationship, how he broke his boyfriend's heart over and over again but never ever realizing it as his mistake, how he easily took his lover for granted simply because Kyungsoo doesn't have a jealous streak like him,  and how he misunderstood EVERYTHING and came up with his own conclusions first without confronting Kyungsoo.

He sees it now; all the things he'd done to Kyungsoo in the past. And he feels like jumping off a cliff if it's something he has to do to make his lover smile again. Kyungsoo's words are still ringing clearly in his mind every time he recalls back the conversation he overheard. It brings fresh tears into his eyes whenever his head repeats everything Kyungsoo said, piercing through his heart with a sharp pang before guilts seeps in to eat him from the inside. The strong determination he made right after, to win his lover back, is still burning through his skin. He vows to make it up to Kyungsoo, even if he has to change everything about himself.

Jongin takes a seat on the bed, across Kyungsoo, and he's all ears for the next twenty minutes, as the older male pours out his own pent-up emotions first.

"Let's start from the beginning, Jongin. The day you finally reciprocated my feelings...was that real?" Kyungsoo needs to make this clear first. He needs to know if he had been a joke to the younger male from the very beginning.

Jongin gasps in disbelief, unable to believe that Kyungsoo could think to that extent. But he supposed that he can't the blame the older male for it. After all, Kyungsoo had been hurt way too many times to believe anything properly anymore.

"I've always been honest to you about my feelings, Soo." That's all he needs to say for now. He doesn't want to interrupt their conversation with remarks that would lead to more misunderstandings. Kyungsoo deserves to clear off his mind first.

"You never had during the two months 'no-' deal we made, right?"

Jongin shakes his head. "Only with you, baby. Only you." He mutters softly. "During Valentine."

Kyungsoo remembers that night well. It was the first time he gave himself up to Jongin so willingly; the day he claimed Jongin as his. How could he forget such an important night? "I remember." He says, tears welling up in his eyes, but he holds them back. He doesn't want to cry yet, not when he still has so many questions in his head.

"You said you didn't want to expose our relationship to anyone..." He continues, "...then why are you suddenly acting differently now? Why now...and not back then?"

Jongin sighs. This is going to be a long night. "I already told you the reason. I didn't want you to get hurt, knowing how everyone acts when it comes to the alpha frat. If you're seen around me, they won't hesitate to harm you, Soo. Look at what the Nu frat did to you. I would have killed Seunghyun for hurting you but Sehun told me to back off a little."

"I wouldn't want to see you in jail too. Once is enough." Kyungsoo sighs. His eyes tell a different story though, Jongin notes. The older male is obviously trying to lighten up the situation a bit.

"I wouldn't mind being in jail, if you promise to visit me often. Anyway, he got his just dessert for hurting you, and I don't think he'll bother you again. I didn't kill him, but I did say some nasty things to him." He ponders on this for a moment as he recalls back everything he said to Seunghyun. The words certainly got through, considering how the drenched male was shivering to every word. Or maybe he was just cold... "He'll definitely won't bother you again. I saw fear in his eyes."

And Jongin did, really. If there's one thing he could spot easily, it would be fear.

"I'm glad then. Anyway, you haven't answered my question."

"Oh, right. Sorry. What I wanted to say is that I realize how much that must have hurt you, when I said that I absolutely did not want to expose our relationship. I understood what you said back then, about proving to the world that love could overcome anything, and I'm sorry for doubting you. I should have realized sooner...how much I was hurting you back then. You're right, baby. It's not about keeping you safe, because it's my duty as your boyfriend to always be there for you anyway. I was just afraid that having you around me would tarnish my reputation, and I couldn't bear that. I'm a coward, Soo. A liar.You have every right to hate me, but that doesn't mean I would stop loving you. I'm sorry for not showing you off proudly as my boyfriend, which I should, and because of that, I'm sorry for making you so insecure of our relationship."

Kyungsoo purses his lips into a thin line, fighting back the bitter lump in his throat as he forces back the tears a little longer. Jongin had been so adamant about keeping their relationship a secret back then that it always felt like having a truck run over him. He couldn't even begin to express the relief he feels blooming inside his chest at the moment. But this is just the beginning. There is still much more to say.

"Remember that time you found me kissing Kris, the day when we're supposed to be meeting for a Christmas date?"

A nod.

"I have to be honest with you, and this is the only time I'd actually done something that doesn't deserve your forgiveness." He could feel Jongin tensing as he says this, but he continues regardless. "I liked it, Jongin. I don't know why, but I did. And it wasn't the first kiss we shared too. Remember the day I dressed up as a girl because of the stupid bet I made with Luhan?"

There's another nod, but Kyungsoo could see the younger male seething with restrained jealousy now; from the way Jongin purses his lips tightly, and his hands clenched into fists.

"Kris suddenly kissed me on that day, after we were done with the shopping. I was too shocked to say anything, but I didn't think he would do it again. Anyway, after the Christmas incident, he stopped plotting advances on me, and I can tell he's sincere about it too. He really values his friendship with you, and he's sorry about what he did."

"Yeah, he apologized to me."Jongin says.

"I'm glad it didn't ruin your friendship. I'm sorry for not chasing after you when you found us kissing. I know how much it must have hurt you, but when I saw you walked off with that girl---"

"Yoon Hye."

"---yeah, Yoon Hye. When I saw you walked off with Yoon Hye, my heart clenched at the sight. I thought we were truly over then, and you didn't want to see me anymore. I felt so bad for not doing anything to make it better, but my legs refused to budge. I guess I was afraid of making things worst. If anything, I felt like I was doing a right thing by letting you go. I could have pushed Kris away and give him a tight slap. I almost did, but that's beside the point. The point is, I felt that you deserved someone better than a boyfriend who kissed another man behind your back."

"It wasn't intentional." Jongin remarks defensively, and he's not entirely sure who he's trying to convince right now. Kyungsoo or himself.

"Yes, I know, but I still did it. I didn't tell you about it too. You don't have to find excuses for me, Jongin. It's something I need to apologize for." The latter says softly, almost a whisper.

Jongin could feel the bitter lump forming in his throat now, and seeing Kyungsoo so broken like this makes him feel like the biggest jerk in the world. But then he tells himself that they're both on the same boat, and he has his own mistakes to apologize for. 

"Anyway, I couldn't bear...." Kyungsoo croaks, hot tears threatening to spill out anytime soon. "I really didn't want things to end the way it did. So I knew I had to wait for you to come back. I wanted us to work it out, but you never came."

"I planned to end my 7-years relationship with Yoon Hye that night. I was only going to meet her for a short while, before making it back for our date. But then I found you and Kris at the bus stop, and my mind just...blanked out. I couldn't be angry with you because I loved you too much, but I've never felt so much hurt before. It made me feel like hitting something, and I would have thrown in a punch at Kris, but then where would we go from there? I didn't want my emotions to get the better part of me, so I walked off."

Kyungsoo seriously has not thought of this. He expected Jongin to throw a fit, shout curses, or punch something---someone---but instead he walked away as if he saw nothing.

"At least we made up after that. I was so scared when I found you lying in the snow outside campus, and in that moment, all I could think about was you. I could live with you hating me for all the I did in the past, but I could never live with myself if you weren't here anymore. Promise me you won't do something like that again, baby."

"I won't. I'd rather die a noble death, thank you. Anyway, whatever happened during Christmas is history. Kris and I have nothing between us, and I think you look hotter than him anyway." He faintly blushes, trying very hard not to notice the small smile on Jongin's face. Then he clears his throat before continuing, "What happened to us after Valentine's, Jongin?"

It's not a question, and both of them already know the answer. Jongin brushes away the pool of tears in Kyungsoo's eyes before he opens his mouth to speak, and he knows this is it.

This is the reason why they're sitting on his bed right now, discussing about the bitter moments in their past. He could no longer find an excuse to drop the subject, and he doesn't want to anyway. Kyungsoo deserves an apology for everything.

"I'm gonna be outright about this, so I need you to listen well." He cups Kyungsoo's cheeks and pulls the older male to his lap. Kyungsoo tries to pry himself off, but Jongin has an incredibly strong grip around his waist. Instead of wasting all his energy to push the younger male off, Kyungsoo simply caves in. He misses the warmth of having Jongin's arms around him anyway.

"Ok, I don't know how to say this to you without making it sound like an excuse. But I was honestly busy for the first few weeks after we got back from England. I know what you're thinking. Why didn't I try to make an effort to see you at least...why did I push you off so easily...there's really no valid excuse for that. I assumed you'd understand, knowing how busy you were too. But you're right. Now that I think back about the days I spent ignoring you, I realized that I cold have given a few minutes off my day to just...kiss you, baby. I could have taken a second off to hold you and tell you how much I love you. I could have called you for a few minutes every night and hear your sweet voice."

Kyungsoo sniffles, rubbing his tears away with Jongin's sleeve, while the younger continues. "As for the night at the club...if there was a machine that could turn back time, I would give my life for it. I've never regretted something so much before, and it wasn't the only time I hurt you. Believe it or not, I actually overheard your conversation on the ship a few weeks back, and it felt like having an arrow pierced through my heart. You found me kissing Yoon Hye when you were looking for me a few nights after I cheated on you---"

"The night I went out with Hyunsik." Kyungsoo interrupted.

"Yes, that night. A lot of things happened that night, but I didn't reciprocate her kiss. She called me while I was on the way to Ansan, and said a few men were looking for her. I had to make sure she was safe first, so I rushed over. Fortunately, no harm came to her and her sister when I arrived. I didn't expect that she would suddenly kiss me though."

"You didn't push her away."

"It barely lasted a second. You just happened to see it within that time frame." Jongin chuckles. "It's amazing how everything managed to tear us further apart so far, rather than bringing us closer. Fate must have hated me."

"It could have been me too. I stopped being an angel the moment I laid eyes on you." The other jokes.

"You're too perfect to be anything else, Soo. You'll always be an angel to my eyes. Anyway, where was I? Ah, right, the kiss. There's nothing between me and Yoon Hye now. I've already ended our relationship, and my heart belongs to you completely since then." He fishes out something from his pocket and brings it up to Kyungsoo's eyes.

It's their rings, the one Kyungsoo had returned to Jongin months back. He couldn't believe he's looking at them now, after so long. Kyungsoo thought that Jongin had thrown them away or something.

"I want to give it back to you, Soo. It belongs on your finger. No one else could wear it. Can we just start over once more, and put our past behind us?" Jongin pleads, resting his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder now.

The older male hesitantly takes back his ring and slip it back to his finger. It still fits his ring finger perfectly, and his chest tightens at the sight. They've already voiced out most of the understandings between them in the past, and it's only right to forget the past and start anew.

But something is still nagging at Kyungsoo to not rush into it this time. People can say a lot of things to convince others into believing them, but it doesn't mean they would mean every single word they said. Kyungsoo doesn't want to be reduced into a gullible fool twice, and even though his heart tells him that it's okay to forgive and forget his past, he still wants to make sure he could truly trust Jongin after this.

"Two weeks, Jongin. I'll give you two weeks to change my mind." He gets up from the younger's lap and turn to face him, a serious expression masking his face. From here on out, it's up to Jongin whether he still wants this relationship to work. Kyungsoo is willing him a chance to prove himself.

A confident smile greets back, followed by a small nod, before Jongin leans down to place a chaste kiss on the latter's lips. "That's a deal. You'll be back in my arms in no time."

"I hope so, Jongin." Kyungsoo says, getting up from the bed. "I still love you, you know. I never stopped loving you even after you cheated on me. I just couldn't bring myself to forget you, and the other guys aren't being helpful either. If anything, I think they're trying to get us back together."

"I won't let their efforts go to waste then."

"We'll see about that. Anyway, I almost forgot to tell you the reason I came here in the first place. I just wanted to thank you for getting back on Seunghyun. If Tao didn't hit me with that pan---I'll kill him later---I would have thanked you earlier, and my head wouldn't be so fuzzy right now."

"I could make it better."

Kyungsoo doesn't want to understand what Jongin meant by that. "I just want to go home and sleep this off."

"I'll accompany you then."

"No, people will see you." Kyungsoo frowns, biting his lips when he remembers how the younger valued his reputation the most.

But the look on Jongin's face is an angry one when he remarks, "I don't care about that anymore, Soo. I told you just now, didn't I? I don't want us to hide anymore. If it means bringing harm to you, then I won't just sit around and let it happen any longer. I'll protect you for sure and I'll do it proudly. Plus, the whole campus already knows about us. That's reason enough to accompany you home, in case those bastards decide to try something on you again."

Jongin is obviously talking about the Nu frat. Kyungsoo could feel something swell in his chest after that, a fluttery feeling he missed so much as butterflies invade his intestines slowly. He doesn't tell Jongin about it of course.

He'll give an answer in two weeks time.

_____________________

Dear God, I am SO SO SO SORRY for not updating this in ages. I've been busy packing up my things lately. Moving to a new house soon! Next chapter will be funny. The Beta frat are back!