As a human being, one will always value their own life. Life could be terrifying at time, could cause you to suffer countless time. Yet we are desperate, simply trying to protect our own life, protecting it like there is no tomorrow. We love our own life, value it. No one has ever wanted it to end, not a normal human being. Breathing seems like a great blessing.

However, there are times when we are desperate to the extend of losing ourselves. Forgetting who we are and what we live for. Some people unable to survive in this type of world. They aren't strong enough. For those who had ever comitted a suicide, they have forgotten their life's value. Forgetting how good it feels just to know they are alive. They have lost their love for life. To them, life is simply a suffering. 

It's not the first time that Pil Suk feels like that. She is used to this feeling. Feeling useless, ugly, hateful, desperate and sad has been feeling her. And at times it became worse. She was broken, very much to the state of unrepairable. She never though this day would ever came again, after seeing how her unnie has became after her suicidal incident. 

Today, Pil Suk has done a great job hiding her true feelings. All day long, Jieun has been keeping her under control, under her surveillance. Jieun has also done a great job protecting Pil Suk. After what happened yesterday, Jieun has became a lot more anxious. However, what Jieun has done was not good enough, she miss lots of things.

Lacking of sleeps, makes Jieun's body need a rest so badly. Her dark circle has turn her beautiful face into a terifying one. She had been worrying too much about her sister. Without taking care her own body. There are times when Pil Suk could hear her sister sobbing at night, crying over her. It has crush Pil Suk heart so badly, knowing how much her sister was huting. 

Jieun almost fainted, today at school, after finishing her P.E. subjects. That's why Pil Suk decided just to be hide everything, letting Jieun has some peace for a day. PIl Suk fake her smile all day long, giving her best smile to Jieun. Jieun was too tired to realize her sister fake smile. 

"So is everything alright?" 

Everytime Jieun's soothing voice asked her the question, she would gave a simple nod with a wide smile. Beeing a huge liar, not only to her sister but also to her voice. Jiyeon and Woohyun also couldn't pay much attention to Pil Suk, because of Jieun worse condition today. Jieun could barely walk and she keeps throwing up everytime she force something to go inside . 

To be honest, today was the worse day for Pil Suk. After what happened yesterday, something worse haunted her today. Her first love came back, asking her to get back with him. It's not like Pil Suk still have any lingering feelings for him, but first love would always be memorable to her. And her first love was unimaginably painful. He asks her out just to broke her feeling in the end, dumping her infront of the populars.

She went home earlier today, escaping from her sister survailance. She went home, drenched with eggs and flour. People also mock her again, insulting her and her sister. How could she stand that? Jieun has been a very good sister to Pil Suk, but she doesn't want her to get hurt. 

She has cause her sister to get hurt, causing her to cry in her sleep, causing her to overoworked herself. She knew her sister hasn't been sleeping for couple of days, or may be a week. She feels useless, this world didn't need her anymore. She only cause people to get hurt and suffer. She needs to disappear, forever.

For two straight hours, Pil Suk has been spending her time spacing out in the bathroom. She was gazing at her own reflection. Taking all the blames and admitting how ugly she is. She keeps remembering those insult that was thrown to her, planted them inside her heart. She badly wants to disappear. Until then, may her sister be happy and world be a better place.

When she thought everything will all be better and fine, worse things happened to her. That's why she lose her life's value, goals, and love. She decided that there's no happiness in this world. That's why this is her resolution. The world would be a better place without her. 

She punch the mirror, punching her own reflection like crazy, using all her strength. The scattered pieces has cause her leg to bleed, her fingers to be wounded, and her hand to be bleeding. She grab one of those pieces, slicing the skin on her wrist as deep as she could. To make sure this time, she would not survive.

A tear slipped through her eyes, rolling down her cheek, as she whispers her goodbye.

A/N

Sorry for the short chapter. I will make sure to update the next chapter today. Please comments and suscribes! Thank You!