Did I ever mention how much I love Jennifer Hudson's voice?

She is such a magnificent powerhouse, every time I hear one of her songs, I'm able to feel the emotions that she's using to fuel her voice. 

Since recently, her song 'If This isn't Love' has been replaying through my mind like a broken record. 

Before, I wasn't the type to be interested in the lovey-dovey music, simply because I couldn't relate to the lyrics. 

But now, it's totally different for me. 

'If this isn't love, tell me what it is 'cause I never felt like this baby'. 

That one line sums up the feelings I'm experiencing this very minute. 

To be quite frank, I did fall in love with Kim Taehyung's voice, that's no secret either; from the moment I first heard the sound I wanted to work with him. 

That feeling I call love, others would call an obsession, an addiction or mere infatuation; I don't entirely disagree with that fact. 

But when it boils down to actually falling in love with a person and not just his voice, I now realize that even though I use one word to describe my feelings, it's an entirely different situation. 

Whatever I'm feeling for him is much deeper and on a totally different level than the feeling I get when I hear his voice. 

Yes, I'm attracted to him, that's a bit obvious; but I'm also falling too deep, and too fast. 

"Girls, girls, and even more girls!"

The minute we walked inside the club Il Suk seemed to have lost his head for a bit as he disappeared into the sea of dancing single ladies. 

It's been a tradition for us ever since we met, whenever our exams were over we would either meet up to drink or go out to party; this time around we've chosen the latter. I always enjoy our time together, but for some reason I don't want to be here tonight, I haven't seen Taehyung in weeks and while our little phone calls and video chats are satisfying, they fail to fill the gap that I'm feeling right now. 

The beginning of December was a bit hectic for him too, they had to fly from Japan to Hong Kong for the Mnet Asian Music Awards, I wasn't able to watch since my Dad had me on Nomos Alpha lockdown, however Jae Eun filled me in on what happened; and once again I found myself feeling like a proud mother at the fact that they picked up two more awards. That night we spent hours on the phone, talking about everything and a little bit of nothing. 

I miss him. 

To make matters even worse, he gets back from Japan in a few hours, yet here I am sitting in a crowded club with my idiotic friends. 

Il Suk joins me on the sofa in the VIP section that Chan reserved for us, "I just scoured the dance floor, there are beautiful ladies ready to be claimed, all over the dance floor!"

I roll my eyes at him while Chan shakes his head, "not every woman wants to be referred to as something that can be claimed."

He smiles then pour me a glass of Cognac, "consider this as my apology beautiful sister," he hands me the glass, "and happy belated birthday."

I giggle at his silliness then take a sip of the strong brandy, "apology accepted." 

Chan sighs as he looks at us, he's the designated driver for tonight so he doesn't get to drink even a sip of the good stuff. 

"I think we should talk about what has been happening in Little Choi's life lately," I give Il Suk a strange look, "I know you got a boyfriend." 

I begin coughing as I seem to be choking on air, Chan hands me a bottle of water before he speaks up, "no she doesn't. We would be the first to know."

Il Suk scoffs, "well I am the first to know, Joon might know but he doesn't count. Mi Na has been glued to her phone lately if you haven't noticed, and she doesn't smile like that when she's with us." 

I roll my eyes once more as they're talking about me as if I'm not in the room. Chan turns to me and gives me a serious look,