Two days ago, my elder brother Wu Yifan managed to bring me home with him after 10 years of living in the orphanage. I'm so glad toleave that place as the other kids hate me so much for the attention I got for my looks. My brother Yifan or Kris is 3 years older than I am, he works at the bar since he was still in high school at the age of 16 in order to have enough money to buy a house and to be able to raise me and be my legal guardian. I know what he did to afford an expensive condominium and a flashy car at the age of 18. He is an for rich women or even men sometimes, he can't choose his client. Once, when I was 13, I saw him walked in an expensive hotel with a lady 10 years older than him, since then...I knew, my brother sells his body for me, for his beloved sister.

I blame my parents for everything, listen to my story and judge me, tell me if I'm wrong. My father hung himself after his company gone bankrupt and left a note saying that now we can pay off his debts with his insurance money which can help us survive until the next 10 years to come. I was only 5 when I lost him. My mother was completely depressed after the death of our father, she won't eat and didn't even feed us. Kris burnt himself while trying to fry the eggs for me and it left him with a scar on his arm. The teacher saw how our eyes sunken, and our body getting thinner. She reported our mom and so we were taken to the orphanage while our mother was taken to the rehab centre. I remember vividly what she said the last time we saw her.

"I'm so sorry for neglecting you two... but I just can't" she was sobbing and so do us, we were once a happy family but everything gone wrong after my father's friend betrayed him and took all his money bringing down the business he's working on.

"Mama, please tell them that you are fine and we should live with you" Kris held my hand tightly while his other hand wiping away the tears on our mother's cheek.

"Kris, take good care of Areum and never lose each other. Mama will come back to take you"

"You promise?" I held my pinky out to her, she forced a smiled on her face and pulled us in her embrace. "I promise"

I was only 5 and Kris was 8 when we live without our parents, all we have is each other. That is when I promised myself never to trust anyone and to only be with Kris for the rest of my life when a boy came, and changed that view of mine.

Kris transferred me into a new school far from the orphanage to start a new life. I never wish to see my mother anymore after 10 years of waiting without news. Maybe she's dead or still in the rehab or perhaps..mental hospital?

I have a pair of light brown eyes, sharp nose, milky white skin and a long straight black hair. I look more like my father while Kris looks like our mother but you can see the resemblance. On my first day at a new place in Seoul, Kris sent me in his yellow Ferrari Italia, he gave me some cash and kissed my forehead. I love him more than I love myself and I know that is how much he loves me too.

"Make friends" he patted my head,smiling.

" I hope not" I answered him, checking myself in the mirror.

"Come on Areum, you can't survive alone"

"I did, if you have forgotten and I'm not alone. I have you"

"See you at home, I love you"

"I love you too" I closed the door, waving my hand goodbye at him. I walked in my new school hoping that everything will be fine but, it's not.

"My name is Wu Areum and I'm from Busan"

"Why don't you have the accent?" asked a boy in glasses with the name tag, Shinwoo.

"Why don't you look like a real korean?"

"How can you be so pretty?"

They flooded me with questions that I don't even want to answer. The teacher shut them off and told me to sit at the only empty spot in the class.

"These seems to belong to someone, there are books under the desk" 

"Yes, it belongs to Kim Jongin but he's currently in the hospital and won't be back for a while so you may have his seat until we get you a new one"

I looked at the table that is full with the owner's handwritings. All of his words were sad and...lonely if I may say.

I survive today

I breathe well today

I just came back from the attack, it's a miracle that I'm here

I'm too tired,is this the sign of dying?

I can't be more curious to see this boy, when all I wanted was to die, all he wanted is to survive another day. Am I that ungrateful?