*Hello, hello! I'm finally able to post another chapter for this collection, and I am really sorry for taking so long, since I've been busy with life as well. This one's dedicated for the first one who did a request, AdrianaInspirit! Hope you enjoy this one shot, and sorry in advance if it's not enough.. why am I getting so dramatic these days? Anyways, enjoy and lovelots to you! Thank you for sharing your idea!

Perhaps it was the sweet nothings that were whispered, or maybe it was of him looking shy that made the other fell in love deeply. That when he blushed or stuttered right in front of him, his heart skipped a beat and no matter how hard he try, it wouldn’t follow his controlling words, to not plunge deeper into the strong attraction, since, isn’t love a labyrinth that is dangerous to cross and is undefeated?

“It’s raining hard again.”

Lying side by side on the bed, sharing cutlery at dinner, exchanging clothes once in a while, were something normal as going to school every day despite of the huge want to simply skip classes, something usual as breathing in order to love, as needed as opening one’s eyes and knowing what’s happening around.

It has been a part of each other’s lives.

“It is, and it’s the third day this week. And I’m happy that it rains this long.”

“Why? You wouldn’t be able to go out and take proper pictures for your projects since it’s rai-”

“I’m happy because it makes you stay this long. Not just the usual passing of boredom, not just being with that partner. It makes me feel that whatever this is, it’s real.”

By now the older has left his spot beside the window and approached the lying figure of his lover, the person he had grown up with and the same person he want to spend the rest of his life with.

“Of course it’s real. We have always been each other’s partner ever since, isn’t it? And you’re supposed to think that it is normal since we love each other for real.”

“How could you speak of that shamelessly? You really are an expert aren’t you?”

“I guess I am… but only when it comes to you.”

“Oh shut up.”

It was then one of the longest kiss they ever did, but nothing more than that happened. To be just beside each other was enough to make them feel content.

Perhaps it was the flaws that he had accepted wholeheartedly, or the unspoken promises and untold affection that made him stick more just to hear those words, for he gives importance to whatever they have, to whatever they could be.

“I won’t be able to go there tonight. My thesis and project gallery are on the way of completion, which means, longer time for proofreading and editing. I’m not sure when, but I’ll catch up with you, okay?”

All it needs is that tiny bit of word, a label that could make them worthy of one’s time and effort, that could give them the right to demand and get sulky over lost encounters, yet he agreed to it all along.

They love each other, they know it to the core and they trust each other, but nothing means safe when that belief could easily get crumbled any time. If ever they actually feel this so called love, shouldn’t they be bothered in placing an assurance to each other’s mind and heart? That the next words that would come out of their mouth would already be proofs in their selves of something serious and not simple decorations for their never ending flirting game.

“Alright, but don’t overexert yourself, or I’d be the one to break your bones in place of that activities and projects.”

Then laughter, a single act that could make him forget of all the things above that he had thought about. And he hates it that he’s so sure of what he feels, that no matter how hard he try to devise a plan of replacing the guy or removing him totally from his life, that idea in itself becomes such an not impenetrable flaw he couldn’t even conquer.

To the calls that were unanswered, yet he kept on waiting with his cellphone until he falls asleep.

To the warm hugs that were not returned, yet he kept on not minding the cold shoulder.

To the meals cooked that were left untouched, yet he kept on practicing until his fingers are marked with burns and cuts.

It was never an illusion, those hours of forgetting the world and just looking at each other’s faces to their hearts’ content, of being fine with just holding hands even in secrecy. Those times were memorable for him.

And he hates the drama, but it’s funny how he had bear with it all along.

Perhaps, it is how much he loves him that made him act blind.

Perhaps, he’s simply stupid when it comes to that person.

He heard them well, those moans and shouts of pleasure that couldn’t be hidden by the wall that separates them at the moment. He could clearly imagine what was happening yet he bit his lower lip hard that it ended up bleeding just to avoid his internal screams of agony.

With his back facing the bedroom’s door, he wanted to run away or even go inside to throw hurtful words right at their faces, yet he stayed. He sat on the floor and sobbed, shoulders shaking crazily as if he’s out on a winter night.

Slumped, both his heart and mind, yet he still love his so badly. This is too painful for his psyche, yet he still want to act brave in front of him once they meet any moment later.

He have told him that he’s the one busy at the moment and he doesn’t want to be bothered, but in reality, he made it up to surprise the older, to put that spice that was long gone, or so he thinks. Yet he was the one surprised, and hurt, so, so badly.

when the reasons of his tears cried out loud as they reached their peaks, he screamed as well, it felt like a bomb that he couldn’t contain anymore.

And then he was running, away from his miserable state yet falling deeper into the chasm.

He did not know of the guy that looked at his bedroom door when he thought he have heard a familiar voice.

Letters torn, pictures cut, cds shattered, dreams that are now sprayed with black.

His bed that was once bright yellow in every corner is stained with shades of ruby red and vermillion, his own wrist the source of paint, the bed his canvas.

It was numbing, the sensation of slowly losing your own blood, yet he’s smiling peacefully, as if this is what his inner self had wanted to do all along. It feels calming that he let that inner self escape for once and maybe for the last time, he’ll be able to smile so bright that people won’t notice the pain inflicted in him.

He was giggling, thankful that soon, soon it will be over.

He won’t need to hide his real self anymore, he won’t be receiving beatings and emotional stabs from his family anymore, he won’t need to be remembered in sunny days alone anymore.

Perhaps, he thought, once he’s gone, he’s gone for good.

No more added burden to anyone.

He’ll be free from them, and they’ll be free from him.

It is such a nice image in his head, that they would smile for not having his a baggage in their lives.

And him, the man that he loved truthfully, would be able to live normally, get married and have kids. The dream of a perfect family that he had shared with him.

He was imagining every single scene so vividly that he didn’t notice the door to his room opened hurriedly, and the steps that scooted closer, gentle hands cradling his bleeding hand and trying to stop the flow using his own shirt.

“Sungjong-ah, why did you do this? Do you know how much stupid this act is?! Don’t you care about the people you’ll be leaving?! Don’t you care about me anymore?!”

Slowly, though with his vision still blurry, Sungjong pried the fingers shaking in fear of losing him for forever. He wanted this attention, he had always wanted this kind of affection, yet if it was out of guilt or fear alone, perhaps, it is better not received.

“Why… have you cared about me the same way? I do care about you that’s why I’m doing this. You… you’ll be able to live happily, normally. Not with me… you won’t need to worry about me anymore. You would get married and not be rejected by the society… you’ll be able to have your own kids to care for… you… you won’t be burdened by my love anymore…then my family would be more than happy to let go of their failure that’s me… and-”

“Shut up! I’ll bring you to the hospital and you won’t be able to stop me. And no, don’t you dare fall asleep on me now!”

He wanted to close his eyes so badly, yet he gathered his remaining strength to keep his lids from fluttering for the last time. Perhaps, it was out of regaining his senses.

Perhaps, it was because he’s just loving that person he have known as Myungsoo that no matter how much he want to leave his side, all it needs is one call from his friend and lover for him to return with a warm heart.

“You’re awake, finally you’re awake…never try doing that again!”

He still felt weak, yet he heard the voice beside him clearly, and he was right. Myungsoo was at his bedside, looking at him with thankful eyes and he felt like getting drowned there again. But it is still fine? They don’t have any label after all, right?

Yet he smiled, because he knows it’s still his friend who came.

“I’m sorry… for… for not being able to be strong enough… to-”

“No, I’m sorry, I should have been there when you needed someone, I’m really sorry! I’m such a selfish brat, someone who-”

“Yet I still loved you.”

Silence followed, with their tears streaking their flushed cheeks, out of pain, of fear, of love.

“You don’t need to worry, ‘cause I won’t hold you back if you want to stay just because you felt guilty for what you have done. We’re still the best of friends after all, isn’t it? I’ll be fine with-”

“But I’m not fine with us just being friends anymore! I know my mistakes and I know I’m such an but I would never be fine if you’re the one I gotta lose! And I’m not saying this because I am guilty for doing that behind your back or because I pity you for what you’ve gone through or because I’m too egoistic to let you go, I just…  I am seriously in love with you!”

After what it felt like a long time, they laughed, harder this time.

And much, much more genuine as well.

“We’re both stupid, aren’t we? Both afraid to move ahead yet no one stepped beyond the line. And we need to hurt ourselves first before we man up and not let ourselves get carried by… all of these.”

“I’m so stupid for doing that… seriously, Sungjong-ah… I am so, so, so sorry. I wouldn understand if you decide to let go of me now but please stay friends with me, if that’s even possible, if-”

“You’re blabbering nonsense again.”

“What?”

“Shut up and hug me already.”

“…could I ask for a kiss as well?”

“Idiot. Why did I fall in love with you again?”

No one was speaking, yet by the way their foreheads crinkled, and the look of disgust that overwhelmed them, there would be no good response coming their way despite of being honest and proving their good intentions.

He had expected it anyways, and with all of these, he was ready to go and try covering it up with one of his sweet smiles that serves as the barrier when his lover wanted to ask about how he feels.

Yet he wasn’t able to go, with Myungsoo’s hand holding his own tightly, as if he has no plans of letting go, that no matter what, he would never let go this time.

“I do understand if you can’t answer at the moment, but if.. if it’s possible that you could give us your blessing, your son would totally be happy. And if you ever come to our wedding, I know Sungjong would be more than happy to see you walk him down the aisle.”

With his eyes unwavering, holding his ground and letting his lover stay beside him, makes Sungjong feel stronger than before. There’s still many things that lacks in his life, yet, with Myungsoo beside him, he’ll be able to forget about his incomplete life. This guy is trying hard enough to fill up those spaces, and he’s thankful, grateful, for every single act of love he receives.

“Whatever, do what you want. But don’t expect us to show up in your wedding. Most likely, no one would come.”

Wave of painful memories rolled continuously within him and he noticed, that he held his hand tighter and touched his cheek gently to make him aware that he’s still there and he would be his company today and until the day they would let out their last breath. Despite of the annoyed and disgusted looks they received, the hateful comment they heard, they stood up, gave their thanks and left the place.

They would be building their own family as well, and despite of the scary future that awaits them, with the probability of society not accepting their decisions, they will be able to make it.

If they have survived such a great tempest with love as their shelter, they would be able to make it out just as fine after every storm.

It is purely, real love after all.

*Sorry if it feels like the ending is kind of hurriedly done, but I hoped you enjoyed the story! To my fellow readers, feel free to keep on giving your quotes or ideas through the comment section, I'll do my best to post the other requests as soon as possible. =)

*Enjoy the rest of the week!

#myungjong.rise