to hold on or let go

Lies and Love- Myungjong One-Shot Collection

*Hi fellow inspirits and black lemons! I am sorry for not being able to do a single update for like, 5653658358 years, so as a form of asking forgiveness, here's a myungjong version of a nap fanfic.

*Enjoy!

 

5

4

3

2

“It’s done.”

Mint mixed with scent of disinfectant invaded his nostrils, yet it didn’t make him feel nauseous at all. Quite dizzy, yes, but not enough to make him feel sick. He knows that after this night, after the long hours of wait, he will never be the same person again.

“Don’t exert too much force yet. You know that you’re not strong enough to do anything more than sitting and filling up that growling stomach of yours.”

He wanted to move already and go along with his plans, yet despite of how strong his will is, all he could do at the moment was move his fingers little by little. Since the effects of anesthesia is slowly dissipating, he could feel the pain growing every minute though he’s still stiff with all the bandages covering his sutured body.

“Isn’t it funny? You, brought here, to a doctor who was called a fake, yet here you are, breathing and awake. Oh, that rhymed, how funny. The society looks at me with so much disgust yet I’m hired by such a renowned underground group. The chairman really knows how to look for talents, don’t you think?”

The words kept on passing his ears, not a single idea sticking, for right now he’s fully occupied of what he needed to do.

Of what could have been done, yet he failed.

Of what would need to happen, yet will still take time.

“Don’t worry, your companion have prepared everything that you will need once you recover from the surgery. All you need to do now is cooperate and heal as fast as you can. And that means, I’m imposing the rule of you following all the doctor’s orders and you don’t have the power to question whatever I say. Now, my first order is for you to relax and not do anything that will open that wounds or I won’t stitch it again for you, understand?”

--

“You never learn, do you? I bought you all, and raised you here not for you to stay relaxed but to work hard in payment of that debts. You ought to know how much we spent just to get you out of that facility, therefore, you should know how much you need to pay me back. And if that means your whole life, then so be it. Well, I’m sorry to say but my brother’s not here anymore so I’ll be taking over and that means no easy life for you. Now scram!”

They both love the care given for them by their foster father, but with him gone from the war and no message about his survival ever since, it was worse than the treatment they faced in the facility for orphans where he and his brother came from.

He had always imagined what the world outside the cream walls and gray rooms would look like, and all it did was make him smile. It was everything they imagined it to be as what they read from books and heard from the staffs of the orphanage.

Vibrant colors and all kinds of noise that for him sounds so melodious, and chows that made them feel thankful about living.

It was much better than the chorale music thought to them over and over again, than the portraits of the owners, or the tasteless food served that make them forget their appetite.

But he realized that it was never about the place itself, but the people you want to live with.

“Hyung, do we really need to follow what she said? Is appa never coming back? Will we be left alone again like the time our parents left us to die?”

“Sshhh, don’t think about that. For now, appa is in a journey and it will take a very long time before he could return. He’s given many tasks to accomplish, so he’ll be so busy he could never write back to our letters. You understand that, right?”

A simple nod but it is enough to make his heart clench for making his brother believe in something he could never assure himself with. But he’d rather see that glimpse of hope in his brother’s eyes than to see him heartbroken and depressed.

It’s better if he suffers alone, for he could cope with that. To him, it will always be his responsibility to make his brother happy, at any cost.

“And that means, for now, since Hyori noona is the only one left to look after us, we should not give her any problem because taking care of two children is harder than it looks like. And you understand that, right? So listen to whatever she says, and follow it without any conditions or questions.”

--

It was still there, his tendency to put everything in order. Pile of white and used bandages were neatly compiled on the nearby table and after seeing one piece asymmetrical in position, he took his time to return it into its original placement.

For now, it’s all he could do to take off his mind to what hurdle is nearing him. That, until he heard the knob to his room click open. And by the way it sounded, jumpy footsteps on marble floors, he was sure it’s the noisy and nosy doctor again ready to barge in anytime whether if he’s asleep or not.

“Hello dear patient! Your companion’s back, and he’s here to see you. Come in Sunggyu, don’t be shy.”

“Oh shut up Woohyun. Hey, still alive and no lost limbs, I see. Don’t call me using that name again, okay?”

“Fine, don’t say my real name as well then. Of course, are you having doubts about my talent as your society’s official physician and surgeon?”

“No matter how great you are, I still won’t let someone who can’t cure his own greasiness make me undergo his own sequence of medical examinations, so yes, I still don’t trust you smarty-pants. Now go out and give us a moment.”

“Fine, don’t come to me running and asking for help if you get sick with your own cooking.”

And before he see one of his favorite figurines end up broken in the hands of his natural enemy, Woohyun immediately took his leave and left the two for some serious talk. All this happened with the quiet guy not giving any attention to the two of them bickering. He remained on his bed, eyes fixated on the used bandages and hands quickly moving with folding one piece he took from the pile.

“Sungjong, listen. I know what you’re going through but give me some of your time, please.”

Stopping from his own way of killing time, he looked at the older guy straight in the eye and then to the floor before sitting straight with both hands on his sides, fists closed.

And those healing marks were not left unnoticed by his team mate. But with their kind of work, showing sympathy has no place, and expressing empathy would assure you a way out of the team. No matter how much he wants to comfort his younger brother not by blood and show him some care, the way they were trained to be like stone soldiers stops him from doing so.

“The Chairman deemed you to have proven your loyalty to him and to the whole group. And he knows of your situation at the moment, thus, no matter how much trust he has in you to fill the gap caused by the loss of Hoya, he thinks you’re not prepared yet physically and emotionally to return to work, but since he wants you back as early as possible, he’s reassigning you.”

No response.

“You’re not thinking of leaving the group, are you?”

“No… I would never the group. Tell that to the boss. So what’s the job this time?”

He knows that Sungjong’s not fine, that he’s just covering up the pain by looking tough again. They have been working together for so long now that he knows when the guy’s lying or not, but like any other time, he couldn’t voice it out.

“You’ll be handling the chairman’s son himself. The chairman believes that, that brat’s in good hands with you as his new bodyguard.”

“Are you kidding me?”

And all he could do now is blink.

--

“What do you take me for that, a grade school student that you need someone to look over me so I won’t get lost or get bruised? That idea itself is just crazy. You’re crazy.”

If it wasn’t for the fact  that he’s already used with his son treating him as if he’s just a close friend of him rather than the father who raised him, he would be like any other dad, already fuming from the disrespect and angry for being questioned regarding his decisions.

But the chairman being the chairman, just simply laughed and felt proud for raising such a fine man to take over his underground society. Seeing Myungsoo grow up as a fighter and not a groomed prince like everyone else was expecting made him feel more at ease than anxious.

There was never a room for the weakling in the world where he’s one of the major rulers.

And as early as today, he would rather see fear instilled on the minds of his underlings just by seeing his son rather than treat him daintily. Both brains and brawns are the main keys towards taking over his position, and heart, it would always be there yet should not be given the chance to decide most of the time.

He wasn’t heartless like everyone around thinks, but if needed to be ruthless, he could be the worst nightmare you’ll ever dream about. And that’s the image his son portrays as well.

“This young man isn’t like anyone else I’ve assigned to you before.”

“Oh common, I don’t need a bodyguard and you know that well yourself. What am I, a daughter? I’m straight as hell you know.”

“I know, and I do not doubt your skills to defend yourself. Straight my . But, for the meantime, he’ll be reassigned here in the mansion, and that’s the nearest job I could assign him to. But, here’s a deal since I’m sure you still don’t agree with this… if ever you could make him tell me himself that he’s afraid of you or he doesn’t want to look after you anymore, you’ll be off from bodyguards starting that day.”

Seeing his son smirk and act full of confidence that he’ll succeed the challenge so easily like any other time a worker of his dad came to their place, he couldn’t help but laugh within. He had known his son and Sungjong for a long time now that he’s excited to see the two opposite persons together.

“Don’t look so cocky this early, you’ll never know, I might win with a landslide.”

“Yeah right dad. I’ll win no matter what.”

--

Brow twitching out of irritation, his eyes grazed over the young man in front of him and the action the stranger shows, yawning and looking bored like hell, made him think about punching him straight in the eye.

He expected someone who could par up to his strength, or someone who could match up to the intimidating aura of the chairman, but he could never see any of the character he thought in the guy his father has hired to be his personal bodyguard.

Imagining the entire possible situation, he would already be laughing if not for the fact that he had known his father all his life to see how serious he is when it comes to the safety of his family. But looking once again at his newly hired bodyguard, the frail figure and body covered with bruises, he could only grit his teeth in disappointment.

If there is one thing he admires about his father, it would be his loyalty and sticking by his words, thus he knows he should be assured when the chairman expressed his confidence over the man.

“Alright, strip.”

Seeing the puzzled expression made him want to mess with the younger man more.

“Since my father obviously wouldn’t hire you to protect his child, you’re probably here to make me not get just anyone and make the fact that I’m a slip out of this house.”

“What?”

“Just strip already. Even though you’re not my type, I could overlook that since I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

Seeing that the other has no plans of following what he ordered, Myungsoo walked towards him but what happened next wasn’t what he expected.

“Aah-ah-ouch! Stop! Damn it! Stop it already!”

Myungsoo felt like his arm would be pulled out of his shoulder joint any minute now but no matter how much effort he put in to overpower his bodyguard, that he thought, he would never question his father’s decisions again, just let him out of this reverie.

He stopped shouting though when he felt something damp on his back, and he noticed how the other’s hold loosened off of him. Putting his whole attention towards the younger man, he saw the crimson red starting to seep out of his white shirt near the heart and all that filled his mind was to save him.

It’s not everyday that someone could beat him with strength, he wouldn’t lose that opponent until he beat him fair and square.

--

“I told you before discharging you that I would never fix you up again once you disobey the doctor’s order. So, no.”

Seeing Sungjong looking sleepy and hearing him say that he’s getting dizzy, Myungsoo hit the table with force causing one of Woohyun’s favorite angel figurines to fall off and crash into pieces, earning a gasp from the playful-looking doctor.

“You’ll stitch him up or I’ll rip that tongue of yours in exchange. What would it be?”

“Yah! You’re always bullying me like Sunggyu and Sungyeol, you bad people! You should be thankful that a genius doctor works for-”

“Well use that genius and treat this guy!”

Quickly moving, he got all the materials needed and started by cutting the shirt drenched with blood, removing it slowly from the weakened guy.

“Tss, you’re not even an official member of the chairman’s underground society, yet you’re already acting as if you’re in a high position.”

“Oh shut up and just focus on your work doc.”

--

Leaving the sleeping figure inside the clinic’s private room, Woohyun pulled Myungsoo towards his office to extort some explanations from him. He couldn’t let a suspect go while the victim that is his patient’s still under his care, his mind working up on ideas to torture the scary-looking guy despite of being the chairman’s son.

“It’s not even a week and you have done something to make my patient return to me bleeding like there’s no tomorrow… What did you do!?”

“Don’t shout okay. I thought he’s brought there by dad to be my toy but when I approached him he attacked me. That’s his entire fault.”

“Aish, seriously! You know that it’s only I and your father who knows about you being gay so why are you being so careless about-”

“My father doesn’t care about my preferences as long as I keep in mind all my responsibilities as his son. He even caught me once do-”

“Stop, I don’t wanna hear about your escapades anymore. Or your personal life. Or your past relationships. All I need you to do is take care of Sungjong after-”

“Wait, He’s my bodyguard but I’m the one who needs to get tired for him? If that meant something else I would gladly-”

“Myungsoo?! Just follow what I said! And for your information, he’s part of your father’s A team. You heard about another group who tried to ambush your father, right? He’s one of the reasons why you’re father has survived all the attacks, and that wrecked state he’s in right now, was for the sake of protecting the chairman. That means you owe him one. He even lost his brother who belonged in the same team. So if you still have a piece of heart or conscience left in you, you know what to do. Now leave.”

“Wha- after that monologue and you’re simply telling me to leave?”

“Yes, now go. I’ll call you once he wakes up. I’m sure he’s not excited to see you so it’s better if I’m the one he sees later.”

“Whatever. As if I care that much about him.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Myungsoo slowly stood up and left the office, with Woohyun watching him knowingly.

--

He doesn’t want to trust the man wearing plain black shirt and tattered jeans leading them towards a big villa, yet the way he spoke and treated them made him question his thoughts towards him He wants to blame him for his brother’s crying and sobbing until now despite of his constant throwing of jokes and telling tales.

If he didn’t bought them.

It made him feel like they’re simply items easily bought and could be sold anytime once they don’t have value anymore in the eyes of their owner.

His thoughts were broken though as he saw the huge mansion in sight, and after a few steps the doors were opened and what welcomed them were boys who seem to be near their age.

“Meet your new brothers, Hoya and Sungjong. Boys, this is your new family. From now on, you would treat this place as your home. Feel free to talk to them. And if ever you have concerns, just approach me. I’ll just be in the study room. Ah, Dongwoo, please give these two boys a tour around.”

“Alright Chairman! Let’s go!”

He wanted to be frozen on the spot, he felt afraid, thinking that whatever inner peace he has found now, it would be gone soon enough to make them heartbroken once again.

And he doesn’t want to see his brother in pain of experiencing loss again. For him, Sungjong is a treasure he doesn’t want to lose its brightness.

--

Waking up to reality has never been this hard, especially when it’s his brother he’s dreaming about. Hoya has done everything to make him happy, to make him feel protected despite of their promise to render their whole life in service of the chairman and the group.

It was always about his welfare first, but when he needed him, he wasn’t able to do the same thing. He couldn’t hate the chairman for he was the best father they could ever ask for, and he ended up blaming his self.

“Finally, now listen Sungjong. This will be the last time I’ll stitch you for the reason of breaking my order. Therefore, try to be more careful from now on. And don’t try to kill the chairman’s son, I know he’s a pain in the , don’t take that literally okay, but try to be more patient when it comes to that brat. And one more thing, I-”

“Hey Woohyun-ah, let’s go- now. Oh, Sungjong!”

Laughing awkwardly, the newcomer he has long known as Sunggyu slowly closed the door, making him look at Woohyun with eyes full of curiosity. Those cat and dog never treat each other well, nor was the fighter had ever received any form of respect from the doctor despite of their age difference.

But he’s sure he heard it correctly.

“Okay, since it’s time for you to return to the young master, let me guide you outside and to the car, and then-”

“You only mumble that way when you’re nervous hyung, so spit it out.”

Despite of Woohyun already pulling him off the bed, they couldn’t deny the fact that him beaten is still stronger than the doctor, which the older still finds unfair.

“Fine, I’ll say it so stand up already!”

Standing slowly, he felt like having blocks of lead chained to his feet. He’s still weak but he need some time to fill his mind with something else if he wants to return to his job as early as possible and not get stuck with a person who could harass him anytime.

“I’m… dating him. We’re dating… there, I’ve said it!”

No reaction, just a simple hum and nodding of head before he walked towards the exit.

“Wait, no further question or reaction at all? As in nothing?”

“Nah, I’m good. That’s enough for blackmail purposes, so the next time I need some more stitching, or any other treatment, you’ll do it without question as well, right?”

“Sungjong!?”

He realized he hadn’t laughed this way for a long time now.

--

Their eyes were locked on each other, not blinking and not wanting to lose against the other.

“Aaah! I hate this! How did you beat me, huh? How?”

“Appearance alone doesn’t tell of one’s true abilities. And since I was able to do that, you do not doubt about me being your bodyguard for the meantime, am I correct?”

“Fine! But make sure to keep up, I don’t want to get behind my plans because of you.”

Myungsoo hates to admit it but, he’s comfortable with Sungjong around him. And just like what Woohyun told him to do, he secretly takes care of him. And no, it’s not because he finds Sungjong seriously adorable with his mouth full of snacks he bought, or charming when he tries to make sure that Myungsoo’s safe from any form of harm.

He wanted to thank his father so much, but Myungsoo being himself, he would never voice it out.

And it has been just two weeks since they last met and tried beating each other.

“Hey, pass the popcorn here.”

They were currently watching reruns of the walking dead in the warmth of Myungsoo’s own room, and sitting comfortably beside each other, one would never think of them as simply a bodyguard and his boss but close friends having a sleepover bonding party.

“You know what, I still can’t believe you swing that way.”

“And why is that? I almost jumped on you and-”

“Don’t remind me about that day, okay?”

“Don’t tell me you’re interested to continue that today?”

Sungjong pulled him into a headlock to cut off his laugh but he couldn’t hide his amusement when he saw how embarrassed the younger man is. It ended with him gasping for some air on the floor while the younger one is sitting comfortably on the bed while smirking at him. Kicking his own boss just to not give him space on the bed made him laugh hard that he ended up holding his stomach and his eyes to be b with tears.

“Yah! I’m the chairman’s son and you treat me like this?!”

“I’m here to watch over you, not spoil or treat you like a princess that you are so shut up.”

“You asked for this.”

And they ended up to be tangled limbs and laughing harder when they realized how they look at the moment, like little boys playing rough.

And Sungjong felt thankful to have another brother he could spend time with like this, but Sungjong being Sungjong, he would never voice it out.

--

Looking at the rearview mirror, the white car who have been in the same direction since they left the mall didn’t go unnoticed by Sungjong, and nudging on Myungsoo who’s on the handle and bobbing his head up and down along with Run This Town playing on the radio, he whispered of the person or a group following them for minutes now.

“I’m putting my trust on your driving skills, and my life on this gun.”

“Eeey, why do you own all the action, let me be the star too-”

“Just think that if you don’t drive the way I expect you too, we’ll be seeing all kinds of stars in the heaven soon. Now go!”

And after a few seconds it was a heated car race on the streets within the city accompanied with exchange of bullets and Sungjong grazed on his left shoulder.

“Seriously, this is one of my favorite cars so why did they need to ambush me today?!”

“Oh please, I’m bleeding here and you’re thinking about your car?! Drive faster will you?!”

He has never lost his calm, Sungjong was always one of the toughest in their team when it comes to this kind of life and death situation, but after losing his brother, he has lost one part of himself as well.

It’s not about his self anymore. He would never want to lose another brother under his care. He wouldn’t want to die without being able to fully protect him.

And as he saw the car of the people following them hit a car parked along the street and flipped upside down, he never felt so thankful over another one’s loss, and in some part, he hates himself for that.

--

“You would not leave me like them, right hyung?”

“Of course. If others turn their backs on you, I would be always there, still facing you, reaching out to you. So don’t worry now, okay Jongie? We have done this job for years now, you should get used to with losing a team member any time.”

“Would that mean that if I’m the one who’ll get killed next, you would be able to get over it that easily. Just like how you treat our loss of a brother?”

“Sungjong, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s the same thing hyung. But you know what? I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose you too.”

It was not only the two of them, and like the others, Sungjong was looking straight towards the ashes of their fallen comrade thrown into the sea, the place where their brother had always wanted to go but wasn’t able to accomplish due to their busy schedule.

Hoya’s attention was on his brother though, clenching his hand tighter to assure him that he’s there and would always be there.

But with this kind of work, both know that they have one foot each already hanging in their graves.

--

“We should have headed straight to Woohyun’s clinic and not here and-’

“Myungsoo, relax and let me be.”

He wasn’t the one bleeding but he was shaking more just by seeing how pale Sungjong has become during the past minutes.

He just watched as his bodyguard walked straight into the bathroom, hand clasping his injured shoulder. And as heard the shower , he hurriedly went to his father’s bedroom without knocking for the sake of getting a first-aid kit.

And his panic didn’t go unnoticed by the chairman who’s currently reading The Mephisto Club by Tess Gerritsen, wearing polka dots pajamas. If not for the fact that he’s the chairman and he’s his son, he would never think of him as someone who could handle business in the underground world.

“What’s wrong son?”

“Sungjong, he’s hit, because somebody tried to kill us, and he doesn’t want to go to Woohyun at this time, and-”

“Okay, calm down Myungoo. How could you help him if you’re in that state yourself?”

“Thanks dad, I’ll go now.”

--

Was it painful when he left you?

Was it hard when you lost him?

Was it easy to let go?

Were you disappointed that he didn’t stick to his words?

Or were you more disappointed in yourself for turning your back on your own words?

--

“Hyung!”

“Sungjong!”

Remembering what happened hours earlier, he sighed louder than he expected. The dream felt so real and no matter what, he doesn’t want to return to dreamland yet.

“You made me worry so much, damn it! Don’t you know what shock I got when I saw you lying on the bathroom floor unconscious?!”

Seeing the tough Myungsoo whining like a child, all Sungjong could do was smile and appreciate such concern. It has been quite some time since he saw this kind of reaction.

“And you were supposed to not force yourself after that incident weeks ago and yet you tried to be such an action star earlier?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Gently tapping the older one’s left cheek calmed the other down, yet he didn’t know the effect it caused to the chairman’s son. That the rapid beating of his heart wasn’t out of anger anymore. That his flaming cheeks wasn’t caused by his fuming irritation anymore.

It was just a split-second but Myungsoo was sure he felt something, like meeting a stranger he would gladly meet and know about more.

“Stop worrying that much about me already, and tell me if you’re okay.”

“Of course I’m okay! What could possibly be wrong with me?! Now, do you see that bowl at your bedside? Get that and finish that soup immediately so you could guard me properly as soon as possible!”

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll only answer your questions once you’re totally fine, so don’t ever do that again!”

This time, Sungjong couldn’t help but laugh loudly that made Myungsoo looking more awkward, and he ended up slamming the door in the process.

--

Seeing his own son looking like a bullied kid, the chairman approached him slowly before giving him a shock to wake him from his daydream, whatever it is.

“I know when something’s wrong, so spit it out already.”

“You remember when you told me that I shouldn’t marry until I found someone that could be compared or even surpass mom, what if I want someone yet I don’t know if he’s enough to-”

“That’s the lesson kid, would you fight for that someone or you’ll just follow what I said?”

He knows he had followed his father’s directions since he was a kid, with little naughty days in the process, but most of the time he’s proud with his self and his dad for being a father figure he didn’t expect to have with the life he had grown up with.

Would he break one rule that he knows would affect his father?

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Well, that’s not the Myungsoo I know. Approach me once you’ve got the answer. And by the way, once Sungjong heals, I’ll transfer him back to his original position.”

With a sly smile on his face seeing the other’s reaction, he turned his back and stepped slowly, expecting some words to hinder his decision.

“Dad wait!”

Stopped on his tracks, he was about to turn back but the next words disappointed him.

“I’ll… I’ll make sure that… he heals quickly. I’ll take care of Sungjong.”

“Alright son. If that’s what you want.”

Watching his father’s figure moving farther away, Myungsoo held his face for a moment, until a few tears fell, something that he didn’t expect.

He realized that the last time he cried, it was the day his mother left them for the heavens.

It wasn’t the same, but he thought, he’s slowly letting go of something that he would want to hold on, afraid of something more serious, more real.

It just pained him the same way.

 

*Quite long, I know. And sorry for the cliffhanger, I just love those open endings. =) Though I've been very busy with the review for the upcoming board exam, know that I still love myungjong with all my heart. You're reading this because you still adore them as well, right?

*Take care dear readers!

#myungjong.for.a.lifetime

 

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IceGrayMelody
Dear readers, I'm sorry for not being able to continue this collection for quite a while now and for the requests that I wasn't able to fulfill, I still hope that you'll enjoy my future updates. Lovelots.

Comments

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marielle_ricasio
#1
Chapter 3: Where's the part 2?
Pearlia030989 #2
Chapter 79: It's great to see you again :) just write whenever you feel like to. No rushing :) We do have our busy life don't we? :) one thing is that i wish i could see some brighter ones with more hopes... you know :)) it's kind of dim seeing angst too much :p but just write down what you're inspired :3 love you :x
Mishtique
#3
Chapter 78: take your time~ you should write what you enjoy, not what you can prodice the fastest
AdrianaInspirit
#4
Chapter 78: And we love you too, baby !!!!!!
Don't worry ^0^
Mishtique
#5
Chapter 77: read them all and enjoyed them to the fullest <3
32bella #6
Chapter 77: I hope better soon. Thanks for giving us these MyungJong stories. Super interesting I'll be waiting por your updates.
AdrianaInspirit
#7
Chapter 76: Woah woah my girl is back!!! Thank you so much!!!! I missed you T.T
And yes!!! My myungjong heart never dies ^0^
magnoliafrankie #8
Chapter 74: Don't worry take all the time you need. We're grateful whenever you have time to update.
AdrianaInspirit
#9
Chapter 74: Bear hug :) !!!
We will wait for your amazing stories!!! ^^
nlyusha #10
Chapter 73: #love borderline shinee -w-)b
Shinfinote jjang x3