*Right, I've been gone for long, but since next week shall be intramurals and that means no duty, I got more time to make and update stories. Kekeke.

*Enjoy this product of lack of sleep.

*Lovelots dear readers...

He was my first love, and he rejected me without any pause, nor thinking twice. Back then, I was a hopeless soul, an outcast, not accepting any company to avoid being treated worse than I already feel if somehow, they discovered this part of me.

But I took the risk for him, since I know that I’ll be moving away from that town once high school is over. What’re the chances that they’ll keep on teasing and haunting me once I disappear from their vision? It was a do or die choice, but I did not regret it, not even the slightest bit.

It helped me a lot.

To be stronger and wiser than others. To be far from being the target. To be able to get their attention without trying, that were the things I’ve learned.

And it helped me survive the life of an unaccepted part of the society. I must say, men tend to try harder when every single thing that their eyes catch just calls for them to give up.

Though I won’t deny the fact I felt like a total trash when they were all there to judge me and say crap about me.

It never faded, the memories of humiliation, and of harsh rejection. I thought it will.

Then I just realized how really thin is the line between love and hate.

--

“Oh, so you’re my roommate! Hi, I’m-”

“If you’ll gonna make fun of me afterwards or pull a prank on me once I turn my back around, let’s not worry about  the greetings then.”

His supposed to be companion in the dormitory and first friend in his new university since he’s a transferee in a month after the start of his fourth year, proved to be a tough guy despite of the weakling image his mind could process at the moment. Though if he were given the chance to choose, he’ll still be happy to share a room with this cute little being.

“Are you aware that you still look cute despite of you trying to look angry?”

Sungjong felt like slapping his new roommate. It was either men despise him, or try to get into his pants, and either way, he doesn’t like it at all. Only a few doesn’t care about his presence at all, and that’s what he wants. He knows he’s gay but that doesn’t mean he just goes with anyone who try hitting on him. Sweet words do nothing but make him think about the flirting guy buried six feet below the ground.

If that wasn’t only a crime.

“Aw, you’re fuming face makes you look like an angry kitten, how come someone would try to make fun of you?”

Before he decides to land a punch on the new guy’s face and make it bloom with violet bruises, he quickly left for some dessert and tea to calm his current irritated self.

--

Keep on breathing despite of the tiredness.

Another note.

A week after the start of his internship as a radiologic technologist on one of the hospitals affiiliated to their school, he began receiving these kinds of short messages printed on small pieces of pale yellow paper, a shade of his favorite color. A month has already passed since he found the firsr message slipped into his locker, but until now, he doesn’t even have the slightest idea of who this person is.

But he wouldn’t lie if he’s asked whether he’s happy that someone shows him care this way, ‘cause every time he receives one, it brings a smile on his dull face.

But he thinks that it really is better to not meet this secret person at all. He doesn’t know how he’ll treat him or her once they face each other.

“Sungjong, please call station 5 and tell them put a clamp on patent Hwang’s catheter. He’ll undergo ct stonogram later at 2:30.”

“Okay Ma’am.”

After accomplishing his task, he then proceeded to prepare the area for another plain ct scan of the brain, knowing that anytime soon the patient would arrive. His body is moving but his mind is still filled with the messages he kept on receiving for the past days.

“Hey Sungjong, let’s have our lunch!”

Jiwon, his classmate who keeps on teasing him and became his friend in the process is now standing on the entrance of the room, left hand on hip and smirking as if expecting to be able to drag Sungjong along.

“I’ll go after we finish this procedure. It’ll be fast, so go first and save a seat for me at the caf.”

 “You’re being dull again, liven up once in a while, ‘kay?”

“Whatever. Just leave already.”

Jiwon just laughed at his friend’s snobbish attitude, since he already got used to it since the first day they’ve met. And he knows about the notes as well, and he hopes that whoever that admirer is, he or she would reveal herself already so the little kitten, as how he calls him, would be able to smile more than usual.

“Right, I’ll check on Jinhwan and Woohyun too so we could eat lunch all together.”

Sungjong just sighed and started to guide the patient as soon as she arrived.

It’s still a long day for them.

--

“Woah, little kitten seems to be grumpier than usual. What happened?”

Their room is in a mess, as always, though it mostly consist of Jiwon’s mangas and used clothes just strewn on the floor. And knowing how Sungjong wants everything to be in place, a kind of neat freak if he must say, the man resembling a bunny expected to be shouted at again or a shower of pillows thrown at him, yet nothing came.

Silently, the smaller guy traversed the floor not minding the clutter and proceeded to fall on his bed, face flat. Seeing this unusual manner, Jiwon kneeled on his bed and flailed his arms like a freed monkey.

“Wait! Sungjong-ah, are you sick?! Is this the end of the world?! What’s happening?!”

“Shut up.”

“Ouch, that pierced my heart. I’m just concerned you know.”

“Right now, I don’t need anyone’s concern. All I need is to get some sleep and I’ll be fine.”

Why did I need to see him again? He shouldn’t be here. He should be living far from here. What the hell is this happening now?!

--

“Hi! Sungjong, it’s me, Myungsoo, you still remember me?”

Stopping on his tracks, he felt his body stiffen seeing the same guy he had confessed to before and the same person who rejected him. And it felt funny how could it make his heart throb with pain when it was years ago.

And if he’s already tired from his duty, meeting this person unexpectedly drained the energy left in him.

“Oh hey, yes, I do remember you. What brought you here?”

“I found out that Sungyeol, my cousin’s got a huge crush on you. But he’s too shy to introduce himself so he requested for me to give this to you, since he discovered that we were acquaintances back in high school.”

After saying it softly, he took a sketchpad from his black backpack and handed it to the waiting Sungjong. But the other’s attention weren’t on the sudden declaration or from the given gift. He thought about how Myungsoo still obviously liked back, and how he remained looking fin ea s always with just casual jeans and a shirt. Looking at him was an understatement. It’s more like, checking out his past love, but Sungjong learned a long time ago not to impose anything on this guy, since no matter what he’s sure the one he likes only has his eyes for girls. Those who are real girls, not someone who just look like one.

“He kept on drawing you, and he’s the one who told me you’re here. Could you please, meet him?”

“I’m sorry, but right now I don’t need any distractions since I’m a graduating student. But do give him my thanks.”

Without looking back, he left him, and he’s not planning on having any form of connection with him again.

--

The alarm clock has long gone off, and he could even hear Jiwon scrambling on his feet, afraid of being late for his morning duty. But despite of the warm sunlight already caressing his cheeks, asking him to start anew already, he couldn’t bear to move his limbs.

“Yah Sungjong, you’ll be late!”

“I don’t care. I don’t feel like working today.”

“Then perhaps you really are sick?! Worry not, I’ll tell the instructor once I arrive. Wish me luck to not have another dose of make-up duty for this day. Bye!”

Opeening his eyes once to make sure Jiwon has already left, he decided to curl up again and sleep.

That’s when he felt cold hand touching his forehead. And realizing that it may be Jiwon checking on him, he slapped the hand away. Then he remembered how lazy his roommate is, he suddenly sat up straight and almost punched the intruder when he saw who it was.

“What the-?! How did you enter?!”

“I’m sorry, really, it’s just that my cousin was so worried that you were not able to go on duty today, so he forced me to check on you. And this might sound creepy, but yeah, he’s got a duplicate of your room key.”

“What?!”

“Sorry, really. I know it seems creepy. So I guess I’ll be seeing more of you these days. I’m not sure what he might do next. So I’ll be taking responsibility for what action he takes just to be closer to you. I’m telling you this now, ‘cause I can’t even trust him now.”

Sungjong felt his head hurt more. And all of a sudden, it seems that everything was swirling on his sight, and then everything turned to black.

*Well, I'm in the medical field yet I find it awkward to write a story revolving on it the whole time, so sorry for not giving justice to it.

*Everyone, let's keep on supporting myungjong and infinite, alright?

#myungjong.lives.on