*I'm feeling tired from another realistic dream, aish.

*But listening to music helps in lessening it so I'm feeling better at this hour. Please do enjoy this story.

*I'm becoming less livelier than before, maybe I should watch weekly idol or running man to hype me up.

When his mother told him that she’ll be married for the second time, Sungjong realized how hard it has been for her to live as a widower and raising him for over ten years without any comfort and assistance given by a life’s partner. Sure, she always say that her son’s care and attention are enough to appease her, but Sungjong’s not getting younger but the opposite, which means a much more busy life and having enough time for both his lonely parent and work is something he would always wich but could never have. Nor could he divide his body to be at the school clinic and home at the same time.

So, after being a one-day detective for the sake of her mother’s safety and happiness, he discovered that his future father is such a gentleman and a kind soul, whose passion is focused on touring the world, having the job of an archaelogist.

He knows too that he’ll be an older brother in less than a month’s time, which got him all hyped up, being an only child. Imagining a cute young kid calling him ‘hyung’ once in a while, it wouldn’t be so bad right?

Well, that’s how his mother and future father described this ‘adorable’ child.

But maybe he was adorable when he was much younger, now? Quite questionable. Sungjong then realized why expecting too much could just lead to disappointment.

“Dad, I thought you said I’ll be having an older brother from now on, but this one looks a lot like a high schooler kid.

“Myungsoo?! Show some respect!”

“Right, respect.” And the one scolded just snorted as if saying that he just stated a fact and that he doesn’t deserve to be reprimanded.

Blushing from embarassment, Sungjong quickly dodged the comment and just laughed along with her mother. If he wants to be a really good ‘hyung’, he should be patient, right?

“It’s fine uncle, it’s not like that kind of impression towards me’s new. Ah, Myungsoo-ssi, I’m actually 24 already, not that young but not that old as well. And you just turned twenty this year right? So you’re an adult now. Congratulations!”

“What’s such a good news about being an adult? It just means more responsibility and boring works.”

“Haha, that’s a natural way to think about it I guess. By the way, I’m the school nurse in the college you’ll be transferring to, ao if you’ve got any concern or you need a tour around the campus, feel free to approach me.”

Sungjong answered in a friendly tone, totally opposite of his future brother who spoke with venom and is now sitting arrogantly in the chair facing him. So much for having a ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ dongsaeng.

“No need to be so brotherly-like around me, as if you could watch over me well, when you can’t even take care of your own mother. That’s why she’s seeking for my father’s presence beside her, right?” the younger said in a rude manner that made his father stand up abruptly and bow down to his future family, fuming both from anger and embarassment.

“Bom, Sungjong-ah, I’m really sorry for my son’s behavior. I thought today would be a good day to know each other well, but I think now that it’s a mistake. It’s quite hard to bond this way. I’ll take full responsibility and talk to him. we’ll be going now. Have a nice day ahead.”

Hearing those words, Myungsoo stood up confidently as if he hasn’t wronged anybody, and walked towards the restaurant’s exit like a runway model. His father following behind him, kept looking towards their table and mouthing tons of sorry he could muster to give.

“You know mom, you didn’t need to lie.about him being my dream dongsaeng.”

“Sungjongie, please forgive this mother of yours, I just thought that-”

“Seriously Mom? When did I doubt your decisions? Mr. Choi Seunghyun is a man I would love to call as a father, but his son needs some lesson on good manners. Right now, it’s fine that I’m the one solely attacked, but once he acts like that around you, don’t expect me to not throw him out the window.”

Oh how Bom loves this side of his son as well. It’s nice to see Sungjong being so sweet and well-mannered, but being such a sassy and tough once in a while fits him well too. And it’s too precious, this moment, knowing that he just shows this side of him towards the person he’s seriously attached with. With the persons he feel safe.

“You’re just like your father.”

No more words were exchanged, just a hug from a mother to a son, and it spoke a lot towards each other’s heart.

--

The wedding was not that grand, held at a small chapel and attended by those closest to their hearts, yet it felt more meaningful and memorable.

It was just not a tie between two lonely hearts, but between two families left and have found sanctuary in each other’s presence.

But of course, it could never be that perfect, especially when you got a brother who always find time to bother you in any way possible.

“You look like a kid preparing to do treat or trick with that white suit of yours.”

Instead of a snarky comment, Sungjong just smiled lightly and and looked towards the direction of the newly-wedded couple who are now eating a chunk of the cake he baked himself, laughing after whispering in each other’s ears.

They looked so happy, he can’t help but forget about his own predicaments at the moment. To him, his mother is the most precious woman he could ever have, and seeing her with a sweet smile on her lips is enough to lessen her own emptiness in life.

“You’re probably imagining yourself in their places, right? You really think you’ll be married with that face of yours?”

“Why? What’s wrong with my face?”

Despite of trying to look like an angry tiger, it looked more like a whimpering kitten, making Myungsoo smirk and giggle to himself. It would be nice living with this kitten, he thinks.

“Why?! Am I really that ugly? To let you know, I already proposed to my girlfriend, and she accepted it, that means, you’ll attend my wedding too very soon. Just wait and see.”

His now official younger brother almost laugh at his expression showing his assured self when a girl in a champagne cocktail dress approached their table and asked Myungsoo for a dance.

“Looks like you’ll be left without a partner to dance with, how sad it is that your girlfriend isn’t here, should I accompany you until the party ends?”

Myungsoo said it so sweetly Sungjong almost choked from the cake, but he immediately recovered and act as well. Seeing the girl cooing from their close relationship as brothers, he just wanted to scream to her face that what she believes is just part of her imagination.

“Ah no, I won’t hold you back here of course. Dance with her, you should never keep a girl waiting for long.”

--

The day Seunghyun and his son transferred to their house, it felt more of a hitch rather than a livelier life together. And after seeing the note sticked to the kitchen counter, after being together for almost a month, telling them of a world tour their paremts have planned for months now and decided to do, Sungjong just wants to smack his head with a stainless pan.

“Oh, so they actually went with their plans of going out the country. They’ll probably return after a year. Or more. Dad was like that when we’re together. You’ll get used to it.”

No jokes, no rude gestures, just a statement. And this is the first time Sungjong realized how wrong it was to think ill about this young guy. He’s just a kid feeling empty for eing always left alone, with no playmates at home or tender care of a mother.

“Why? Stop looking at me like that, I know I’m handsome.”

He’ll try to cope with this atttitude. He just needs to understand him more. Maybe, just maybe Myungsoo would slowly open up to him and consider him as a real hyung.

“Yes you are. Wait a little alright, I’ll be finishing this and then I’ll pack your lunch for later.”

He quickly returned his attention to his cooking, that he didn’t notice Myungsoo’s defenses slowly crumbling away day by day.

--

Sungjong was oblivious of the blushing cheeks and clammy hands caused by him and not due to the student feeling unwell. But he was shocked when his hand holding the medicine and glass of water were held by the stiudent whose face looks like a flaming tomato.

“Mr. Lee, I know this may sound wrong but, I really like you!”

“Haha, that’s a funny joke Sungyeol-ssi. Here’s the-”

“I’m not joking! I’m serious! I really, really, really like you! Please accept my confession!”

“We’re both boys, and… I’m actually getting married next month so…”

Seeing him teary eyed, he couldn’t help but feel pity towards a really good student. But there’s nothing he can do more than comforting him as a friend.

“Mr. Lee!”

Before the tall student, who’s currently behaving like a kindergarten pupil who has lost his candy, could hug the now shocked Sungjong, he was pulled backwards by someone he didn’t expect to help him during these moments.

“Don’t we have class Yeol? With you harassing the school nurse, you’re definitely not sick. Or are you just pretending?”

Still clutching his uniform, Sungyeol quickly asked for forgiveness and ran outside the clinic, leaving Myungsoo still releasing a dark aura and Sungjong with his jaw dropped on the floor.

“Didn’t I tell you to cut your hair already?! You look like  a girl with your hair down that’s why male predators keep on thinking you’re an easy target! Stop being pretty okay?! I don’t like sharing!”

Before he could answer back, Myungsoo had already stomped his way out and had closed the door with force, making Sungjong flinch from the sound.

“Have I heard it all correctly? Yah Sungjong, get a grip of yourself!”

--

After that incident, everything felt lighter, as if they were really brothers from the same mother. Myungsoo became more affectionate, always sticking on his hyung and defending him when eyes look at his ‘fragile’ hyung with lust and bad plans. Sungjong on the other hand, liked the attention and became more comfortable with his dongsaeng’s presence, treating him well and even accepting his bad boy side as well.

Everything went well, even their parents kept on sending them postcards and gifts, until the day Sungjong was left hanging on an altar, crying like a lost kid, waiting for a bride that would never come.

It doesn’t help that everyone’s eyes were on him, showing pity, talking loud as if it was some form of entertainment for them, and without his parents to drive them away, he felt the pain squeezing his heart more, it felt unbearable. He sat on the floor, hugging his knees and kept on crying, when a coat was placed on his head, then warm arms pushing him to stand up lead him towards the exit and into a car.

He doesn’t need to see the person’s face to know who it is.

“That girl is stupid for letting you slip out from her life. She doesn’t deserve you, okay? So stop crying already, you look ugly.”

“I thought it was over for him and his ex-husband, I thought they were divorced already, but then I’m the stupid one here to just believe with her every words. To know that it would happen on this day?! That she would call and tell me that the divorce actually did not happen?! That they were back to what they were before?!”

He cried louder, eyes closed, that he didn’t see the hurt flashing on Myungsoo’s eyes.

“Let’s just get out of here.”

--

Heaps of bottles were scattered on the floor. The movie, Fast and Furious 7, long forgotten and seemed to be just a background music to their conversation. Myungsoo has strong alcohol tolerance, yet he decided to finish just three bottles and focused on the bulgogi never touched by Sungjong, who despite of being a petty drinker, kept on chugging down alcohol as if it’s plain water.

“You should eat too you know. You haven’t eaten anything since this morning. Here.”

“No, no. Don’t wanna.”

“Aish, this kid really.”

“I’m not a kid! I’m four years older than you. You’re the kid here.”

“Well, you look more like a kid than me.”

“Right, maybe that’s why they keep on leaving me.”

The atmosphere became heavier in the room, thus Myungsoo decided to stay silent and just listen to whatever would come out of the now teary-eyed Sungjong, with his cheeks flushed and hair popping in every direction. He still haven’t cut his hair, and he even dyed it blonde, knowing that his supposed-to-be wife suggested it to him.

“Back when I was in high school, when I was part of the school’s rock band, I had my first girlfriend, who broke up with me just because I was actually boring and not that someone he expected me to be. My second relationship was during my first year in college, I was actually serious that time and I’ve already imagined us together with our little versions soundly sleeping within our arms. In the end she left me as well.”

“Because you’re really boring?”

“No, because of being pretty.”

Myungsoo’s eyebrow raised in confusion, scooting closer to hear the full story.

“There was a school event, and my class decided to do a mannequin house, so they made me wear a lady’s black and red kimono, they even put hair extension on my hair they dyed pink and put make-up on my face to make me look like a total doll.”

“Then?”

Before he could continue he cried once again, louder this time, and held on to Myungsoo’s arms to stand up, but failed miserably that he just decided to lay on the floor, not minding the coldness and the bottles surrounding them.

“She told me that she won’t accept having a boyfriend who’s prettier than her, that me looking like a girl was absurd and that I was weird and that she should have noticed it from the start. I was serious about her you know that! And now I was left again! I hate it! I hate myself!”

“Won’t you please stop shouting? It’s irritating already. And stop crying over spilled milk.”

“No! if I don’t have this girly face and body, if I was stronger and more manly than I am now, they would not have left me! Right?!”

“Oh shut up please, it was their mistake to leave you, to not cherish  you and not see how beautiful you are that way, so stop whining about them!”

“No! Someone as handsome like you would never understand me! The girls kept on moving towards you, you don’t even need to ask them out, they’re the ones throwing theirselves at you! I’m far away from being like you!”

“You don’t need to be like me! Aish! You’re giving me headache, you!”

“And in the end I’ll grow up all alone without anyone beside me and-”

Eyes closed. Nose touching. Lips together.

When they lost contact with each other, they still feel the touch linger, sending their hearts into a state of confusion. It was unusual. It was wrong. But it felt right at the moment.

Before they know it, they were a mess of tangled limbs, ending into a union of two souls and hearts.

--

“Did… did we… did we actually… did we do that?!”

Lips trembling and eyes wide from shock, Myungsoo couldn’t help but laugh at Sungjong’s image first thing after waking up.

Realizing his ness, he quickly wrapped himself with the linen they were sharing since last night, hiding his pale skin that had turned into a canvas full of shades of purple and red, that he doesn’t want to see at the moment. But then the other was left out in the presence of the aircon’s greatness that left him shiveing due to the sudden loss of covering.

Still, it ended up making him laugh louder.

And Sungjong can’t help but be appalled. They’ve been living under the same roof, going to the same school being the official school nurse and the younger one a student, but this is the first time he has seen him laugh genuinely like an idiot. And if wasn’t because of the current situation, he would have laughed his heart out as well.

Remembering the reality he had witnessed in the morning, he felt more frustrated, that if Myungsoo didn’t stopped his hands, he’ll be walking later that day with bald spots on his head. Now that he had avoided being a laughing stock for pulling out his own hair from his now hurting scalp, he let the screws in his brain process ideas faster than it should be.

The problem is that, it felt like all frozen within, his idea bank buried deeply in a snowstorm.

“Why are you getting all shy now? It’s not as if I’ve not seen all of that. I actually had. Why did it happen? Well, you were so loud last night, complaining about that heartbreak of yours due to your bride who didn’t show up in the church, and ranting about your pasr relationships that failed. The only thing I did was kiss you to shut up that pouty little mouth of yours, and you ended up jumping on me like some wild beast. Who am I to say no?”

Myungsoo answered innocently, but his lips curved up into s smirk after seeing the expression on Sungjong’s face that seems to say ‘Earth, crack up, will you? Then swallow me whole and leave no traces of my existence in this lifetime’. He then realized, it would be nice to annoy this guy every morning after waking up with tangled limbs.

“I was drunk! Obviously. It was practically alcohol talking to you! So why didn’t you just tie me to the bed and stuffed my mouth with a pillow or a hankie or anything?!”

“Eeey, I always opt for the more fun way of spending boredom.”

“Oh please let me die in peace right now.”

*Part one finished! Please be patient for the next part, okay? I know, I've made Sungjong older but I love it that way. Hehe.

*Spread the myungjong love everyone!

#myungjong.is.love