*I'm sleepy, and feeling unwell, hence the result.

*Enjoy, and don't mind my real low energy today.

Love has always been a stranger to us. It is something written on the books but explained as simply a chemical reaction within the body, not something that sprang from the heart therefore, should not be taken into consideration when deciding on things that matters in life.

Relationships are basically planned from the beginning; families decide whether they would pair up their offspring with someone who could help them gain financially, or someone with skills that compliment their clan’s ability. Relationships are not based on love, and never was decided upon what you feel is right.

Life’s all about walking forward or climbing up, there’s no room for backing down or turning your back.

“Can’t you hurry up? We’ll be late again if you move slower than your pet slug!”

But that doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything at all, for in times like this, getting angry or annoyed is fine. Though once again, they’ll be told that it’s all bodily functions and chemical interactions that cause these to happen. It is totally normal, and not something to be worried about.

But being attracted to the same gender, well, that is another case.

Love was never taken seriously, since at the end of the day, any person within the city doesn’t have any say to what they prefer in life, or whose finger they want to slip their rings into. Though having casual talks to the opposite or being friends with them and saying you find them amiable or even eye-catching has been part of everyday lifestyle of the populace.

And that includes trying out things that are just part of stories and novels that are only allowed to be bought and read after marriage, which obviously are released by others who are in need of money or experiencing scarcity of needs that others who are well-off in life would never experience.

They know it’s illegal but when times of need come, slacking off or being a picky worker is never an option. And Sungjong, well, he knows this by heart, being born in a family of clay artists and potters who could not sell enough to give food and necessities of the whole family.

And this work, more like a top secret job is totally unknown to his family, even to his brother who is closest to him. He could never tell it to them, or he’ll lose the way he’s coping with his requirements in the school he was forced to apply for, and unluckily passed.

“Seriously Hyung?! Aish, I’ll just leave you here if you don’t move now.”

“Wait Jong-ah, I’m seriously at loss of where I placed my project, and the deadline’s today and I can’t-”

“Fine, just move quicker than that, less talk and more work, or we’ll really be later than usual.”

Usual morning at the Lee household. Sungyeol being a slowpoke and Sungjong being the younger brother who tries to understand him. And just like any mornings toward their school, he’ll be carrying a large backpack and his parents would be proud of how dedicated to school their child is when the real baggage he’s carrying are simply his manuscripts that would be sold to his curious and rich schoolmates who would obviously shut up their mouths or they would never receive any items from Sungjong anymore.

And apart from this, he’s into auctions as well, selling items that his late grandfather has given him, a whole workshop for that matter that neither his brother nor his parents want to trample with, since they fear the things they’ll find there, knowing the job his grandfather have before he died of heart attack, from watching a horror movie which the two of them enjoy secretly.

May his soul rest, Sungjong thinks.

Through these, his savings have grown higher than he expected making him help the household by making them believe of a fake part time job at school, which he actually spends on sales talk and achieving his daily quota. Of course, they don’t need to know anything about it.

“We’ll lose the bus so could you please make use of those long legs of yours?!”

“Yah Lee Sungjong! Respect me as your older brother!”

“Then act your age! Just hurry up will you?!”

“Hey kids, eat breakfast first, I cooked pancakes for you.”

“Thanks mom! But would you please pack some for us since we’ll be late and-”

“Alright, I understand. Aren’t you such a persistent good student Sungjong dear?”

More like, persistent to reach his quota for today, not hearing another boring lecture on math and history, which he had an overdose from his grandfather who was once a professor in college before falling in love with his work outside the country.

“Here, have a nice day, the two of you. And Sungyeol, take care of your brother.”

“He’s big now, so don’t worry mom, he can manage.”

“He’s right Mom, anyways, it’s more like I should be the one taking care of him or he’ll get lost in the way.”

And their mother would just laugh seeing her two sons arguing like any other mornings, for she knows it would just end up with the two bonding together over old movies and late snacks by night time.

What they don’t know is that, this morning is not the same, and Sungjong would soon realize why.

--

The bus is packed and the two ended up standing but separated when a new batch of hurrying citizens joined the pack. And all of a sudden when the vehicle moved, the younger Lee felt his hand slip off the special handles attached to the ceiling yet he didn’t get in contact with the floor, but a warm body owned by the silent guy in his class who he had always took the same bus every morning.

And though he felt awkward when being grouped with the guy and thought of how weird he is for being too aloof around them, he’s thankful that he’s the one there to be a support rather than a stranger who he believes he can’t trust of.

Dusting his self off, he then held tighter to the handle beside him and gave his sincere thanks to Myungsoo when he noticed the playful smirk on his face, unusual of the guy to show that much emotions and this piqued him since he was honest when he said his gratitude. Shouldn’t be the guy simply smile back or just ignore him completely rather than looking rude in front of him?

“How interesting, my brother has bought a novel that I have never heard of anywhere, not even from the small bookstore across our house, and I accidentally saw your name on the book’s last page. With your signature beside it. And how funny that my brother was feeling all giddy after reading it. What do you think?”

Gulping, he looked straight into the other’s eyes and saw that he wasn’t lying. Although he’s gritting his teeth out of irritation, he still felt thankful that it was said in a whispering manner or he would have jumped out the bus’ window, no matter how fast it was running.

“I think, that’s funny. How come I have my name on a novel, I’m not a writer but a simple student like you. Right?”

“That’s right. And we go to the same school, where an auction is held every afternoon in a student lounge where only certain students are allowed to come. Funny that I saw the president of the math club, where I belong, trying to make this so-called abacus fit into her bag. And being a really obedient member that I am, she accidentally shared about this student named Lee Sungjong holding these auctions. Do you know another student having the same name as you?”

Sungjong knows he’s in a very difficult situation, with an investigator’s son suddenly trying to catch him by his own mouth.

“Well, isn’t Lee Sungjong a common name here? Hahaha!”

He wasn’t expecting his self to laugh louder than he should, well, tension does that and Myungsoo kept on looking at him as if he’s a prey he’s been waiting to catch. The sad life of dong illegal for the sake of earning money.

He knows as well that he might have caught his brother’s attention by now, but screw the people’s reactions or looks saying that they definitely think of him as a weird boy. He needs an idea of a clean way out of-

“I have an idea. How about this, you’ll show me personally what you wrote, in private, and I’ll keep my lips shut. For now.”

“Yah! What do you think-”

“I just want to see your manuscripts, the ones you sell, why, what are you thinking about?”

Sungjong’s scrunched face and puckered lips did nothing but pull a hearty laugh off Myungsoo. And if it wasn’t for the fact that they have reached school already, he would keep on playing with Sungjog and irritate the cute boy more for he’s enjoying it.

“I’ll be waiting for you later. Make sure to show up at your own little auction place or you’ll know what happen.”

--

It felt like the fastest hours of his life, and for the first time, he wished for his history professor to extend his class and maybe require them to write an essay on the spot just to have a reason to not see that guy, but unfortunately, he just discovered that his childish brother is actually a good friend of that evil hiding behind a handsome face, and that means he would know if he’s lying.

That’s the reason why he found himself standing on the student lounge ike any other afternoon, hands tightly holding the strap of his yellow backpack, still unsure of whether to enter or not.

When he suddenly heard the voice of salvation, to him, that is.

“Sungjong-ah! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Hyung! That’s great, you found me! Let’s go home?”

“Ah, but aren’t you having a sleepover at Myungsoo’s? I’m quite hurt, you know that? I’m your brother but I should hear it from my friend-”

“Huh?! Why? What did he tell you?!”

“Hey calm down, he just told me that you’re good friends and he wonders why you haven’t shared that to your older brother.”

Sungjong should have breathe easier this time but after seeing the approaching figure he remembered about the sleepover that his brother blurted out of the blue.

“Oh, Myungsoo! Take care of this little boy for me. And tell me if he’s giving you headache while he’s there. I know that he looks like a doll but he’s actually vicious and you should also force him to drink milk if needed ‘cause he-”

“Okay Sungyeol, don’t worry, I’ll keep all that in mind. Sungjong, let’s go?”

“Wait, I just thought of-”

But before he could voice out hundreds of reasons to not go along with Myungsoo, he was already pulled along by his strong hand, and he just want to wipe off the gummy smile of his brother’s face who did nothing but just wave at them before turning his back.

--

“If you’re able to beat me in this drinking contest, I’ll stop following you and your secret would never come out. But once I win, you wouldn’t expect me to stay quiet, do you?”

With a look of determination in his eyes, Sungjong took hold of a glass filled with soju before glaring at the older boy, clinking their glasses together and both gulping down their drinks with a wink of an eye.

And because no one wants to fail they ended up laughing side by side on Myungsoo’s bed, talking about their own predicaments, alcohol slowly taking over their system. And no one’s sure who opened up the topic regarding Sungjong’s writings, and whether he’s the one who offered to actually show it in person or if it’s Myungsoo who asked for the favor of seeing it.

All they know is that, as soon as Sungjong opened his eyes and Myungsoo was still beside him, laughing and pulling him into a bear hug, something was totally off.

“Nothing… nothing happened, right?”

“Aaw, you’re really cute my sweet sadistic-”

“What the hell?!”

“You don’t remember?”

Sungjong’s eyes threw a glance at Myungsoo’s upper body not covered with his shirt or the blanket anymore, and there, what seem llike small bruises have formed all in pretty shades of blue, red, and violet.

“You did all of these. I didn’t expect you to be aggressive. We didn’t go all the way though, all because you fell asleep all over me. How sad.”

If it was anatomically possible, Sungjong’s jaw would have already unhinged and dropped to the floor. And he would not believe this story if not for the reason that Myungsoo looks at him so sweetly and kept playing with his hair as if it was one of the precious things in the world.

But that’s the weirdest part.

“I’ve always had my eyes on you Sungjong… it’s just that I don’t know how would I approach you. Sorry if I brought you fear, but, I was never planning on handing you over.”

“I’m not gay, and this is totally insane. I need to go now.”

He wanted to swallow back his words after seeing the hurt in Myungsoo’s eyes, but it’s the truth. And another truth is that, they could both be caught once other people who would never understand discover their secrets and reveal it to the world.

“But I won, ‘cause you were knocked out by alcohol first. Therefore, I won’t be silent with what I feel for you. Remember that.”

Yet Sungjong kept on walking without turning back. He’s got more problems to face now, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to face it now.

And Myungsoo, well, he’s got all the time in the world to change Sungjong’s mind.

*Should I make a part 2 for this? Should I? I'm not sure, my head is quite spinning so I'll go now. Enjoy the rest of your monday evening, or morning, wherever you are.

*I'll just turn on my Infinite music playlist.

#myungjong.are.adorable