*Another update, because you deserve more myungjong in your life. A myungjong version of a minwoo from winner fic of mine.

Beginnings are usually scary; endings are usually sad; but it’s everything in-between, flowing around us thatmakes it all worth it.

I never drifted away from him.

I can feel his presence; the barrier between us rippling with every attempt of reaching beyond what the hand cannot surge in, like the lake during a drizzle. We will always want each other’s presence, to share every triumph and grief, to show what pure and innocent love really means, love that doesn’t fade despite of having no real contact at all. But, these dimensions won’t become one, nor be an open door to the existence of the other. Each would want to dominate and create their own written history, but the similarities end there.

I’m the wind and he’s the fire.

Though he wants to feel my touch to linger, I cannot stay too long; being two-faced, I can either strengthen the embers, or turn it into ashes.

Completely gone.

Love is something you can speak about, as if it is a mere subject that will never be tackled within a classroom. You’ll come to saying that you don’t deserve it after receiving it without asking, because you believe that special one is just too precious to end up with someone as lowly as you. Yet, admit it, you want to be selfish at times, and just own him (especially when that one smiles genuinely, that it hurts to always wait for long just to see it again). Every sweet action feels like an illegal drug (that I’m willing to consume more even if it wears me off), imprinted on my mind like a beautiful mirage I want to drown myself with (though it fades every time I try to fulfill the hunger for sensation).

“You’re not perfect. You’ll never be.” he said with a smirk while playing with the mist flowing from a small crack in the barrier.

“I know, you don’t have to make fun of me just because I’m all flaws and-” he answered seriously while fiddling on the hem of his red satin suit, showing his skinny arms and frail structure. His red cheeks show embarrassment, with all his failed experiments on activating the human brain to its full capacity without the worst consequences that he foresees. The weak and the needy became mere specimens in reaching success, and it makes him feel all evil, but he’s got no choice. Locked in the world where only the strong survives, being one stepped ahead of others had become not just for the power but for life itself.

 Before he could continue to defend his self from the humiliation, he cut him off.

“By the way, I don’t like perfection.”

Flustered, he seems to digest the words slower than what the other expected.

“So stop trying. You won’t need it. Release the real you within, that’s all that matters. The coming war is not the solution. It’s not going to be the first step in achieving the world’s rebirth. It will just hasten the wide chaos and destruction; it will consume you to your very core. Just please, stop.”

“I’m born for this. You would never understand.”

“I don’t know you well. You’re still a stranger after all. But I don’t need to understand a thing that what you’re doing will be your destruction. You don’t need to be your father’s champion, or acquire that fame. I just… I just need you to live.”

“There’s no room for hiding in my world. Fear is a weapon I have to handle well. It’ll push me out of my comfort zone. You won’t understand because you live in a world of diplomacy and keeping balance and peace. You don’t wake up each day trying to act strong so no one would bother you. Yes, I do want to hide, I want to survive the coming chaos as well. But while I’m a part of this, I definitely can’t.”

“This is not simply a coup d’ etat, that’s a war without reason, you’ll kill just because you want to upthrow each other. From what I know, that is not you. If only you could cross over here… then everything would have been easier.”

“We’ve tried everything we know. We can never cross this wall. And I don’t want to endanger your world by letting others know that you exist.”

“Sometimes, I wish too that this is not real; that you’re merely the creation of my imagination. But I realized, I don’t need to make sure one thing is tangible for me to believe it’s real. I’m sure you’re real.”

“What do you think would happen to us after this catastrophe? Would I still be able to listen to you and share my stories with you?”

“You know what? It’s not a sign of weakness if you admit that you’re scared of the future.”

Their eyes are locked on each other’s faces like they want to memorize each line etched and scars won, their gazes show longing. He tries to reach out his hand to cup his sun-kissed cheeks, his tanned skin making him want to feel the warmth and see the beauty of summer, but retracted after realizing once again that there’s a barrier.

“It’s funny how we became this close, when we always argue about our beliefs and ways of life. I’m the peace-keeper, you’re a tormentor. Then we discovered that each of us has a part of the character of the other. We we’re never that good, nor that evil. You just chose that path, and I chose mine.”

“I’ll admit it, I’m scared. I’m scared for us. I’m afraid to lose you.”

“We enjoy the memories of being together, that’s all that matters. This may sound selfish but… I hope you win. When you think you’re losing the battle, think about those who believe you’ll win, and those who are sure you’ll fail. If you can’t walk anymore, don’t be afraid to crawl. Once it’s all finished, remember that I’ll be here, waiting for your return.”

“I’m a bad guy, but why did I received someone as kind as you?”

“Don’t ask. I don’t know the answer as well.”

A grin was plastered on his face when he saw how the petite guy blushed with all the teasing (just to forget the bigger problem for a while) and he made sure he’ll remember it for as long as he lives.

After saying their goodbyes, they returned to the warmth of their homes, no one’s bothering to ask what took them so long. While Myungsoo prays and prepares for his sleep, asking for cotton candy dreams and not nightmares, Sungjong is already preparing all things for the upcoming fight. He doesn’t need the perfect battle cry or the strongest arms to win. His last words propel him to step forward. He’ll survive.

It’s all worth it. Even the ending is unknown.

*Short as well, I know. Who loves anime as well here, anyone? And I'm a fan of baozi and hana, the cosplayer duo, so if anyone here is a fan as well, feel free to consider me as a friend, alright?

*Lovelots chingu!

#myungjong.'til.infinity