He watched his psychiatrist stand by the tall bay window, peering out at whatever sights laid outside the pane of glass.

The office was posh but old, some of the furniture was covered in plastic with a thin layer of dust and the corners of the room were dark, almost like you couldn't see into them.

They were shadows.

He took a long drag of his cigarette and let the puff of smoke curled around him before he dropped it into the small glass ash tray and turned to his patient.

"I feel at liberty to say that before we begin, there are a few things I need you to understand. Of course, it seems that you've already started things on your own, but it's better to this now than never." He said while walking up to his client.

The man nodded but didn’t speak, the psychiatrist expected as much.

"No one can change what happened to you. Attempting to change it is fruitless and a waste of time. You need to accept that in order to take the steps forward, but know that I will be with you every step of the way. We will do this together."

The man didn't even move.

"Alright, let's start with your first exercise." He set a piece of paper in front of the man and flipped it over to reveal an ink blot test.

"What do you see when you look at this image?"

His head tilted down so that his eyes could see the image through the cut out holes before he whispered his answer out.

The psychiatrist raised his brows in intrigued, "Death, you say? That's interesting because what man is most fascinated by is what lies beyond the mask of death. The unknown draws us in every time.  We don't know what exists after death which makes us want to know about it even more. That's what attracts people to death.

He continued speaking to the stoic man. "Isn't that what you're trying to accomplish? You're trying to expose the unknown of one man in the most painful, destructive, torturous way."

The man was silent as he remained unfazed.

"Does that scare you? Does death scare you?"

He waited for the man to respond before chuckling, "I agree, we're all scared of death, but what's more terrifying? The dead…or what is still alive?"

The man responded and the psychiatrist wrote down his response.

He looked up at his client and flinched.

He would never get used to the terrifying mask of a clown that his client insisted on wearing, but he was quick to compose himself.  

"Isn't that what we all crave? Isn't that why we can't look away when we drive past a car crash? Humans are fascinated with destruction."

-----

Sang Hee raced quickly behind Himchan, trying to catch up with him as he wove through the hospital. He finally stopped in front of one of the delivery rooms, panting.

"Wh-Where is she?" He asked hysterically while looking around.

Seeing Himchan so worked up had rubbed off on Sang Hee and when he told her that his sister's child was due three weeks earlier than expected, she has assumed the worst.

Someone chuckled, grabbing both her and Himchan's attention.

"She's in labour now." Soo Juk said while Ah Young's hair who was asleep on his lap, "Calm down, the baby's fine, they're guessing a few more minutes till the little one is born. No complications."

Himchan let out a long breath before closing his eyes, "Oh thank god."

Soo Juk's withered eyes landed on Sang Hee and without asking he could already tell that she was a blue blood.

It was a skill he picked up.

"Who's this?" He asked.

Himchan bent over and put his hands on his knees as he caught his breath, "She's my partner. Sang Hee, this is my sister's father-in-law."

"Oh." Sang Hee said in surprise before bowing politely. "Nice to meet you."

Soo Juk nodded with a straight face before checking his watch, "We've been here for about an hour, Ah Young's a little tired."

Sang Hee looked at the young girl, no older than 4, curled up on her grandfather's lap, asleep. She was adorable, she didn't think she had ever seen a child that beautiful.

Suddenly muffled cheers erupted in the room and Himchan's head snapped to stare at the room as the curtains that covered the windows were slowly opened.

She watched as her partner's face looked absolutely love struck when his eyes locked onto to the small bundle being handed to the sweaty, dishevelled woman.

Sang Hee could see where the young girl got her looks, her mother was stunning, even in her post-labour state.

"Oh wow." Himchan breathed out as he stepped closer to the glass.

Sang Hee, unlike Himchan and Soo Juk who were gaping at the child, had her eyes on Himchan. She had never seen such a soft and loving look on him before.

He looked like he was watching an angel.

One of the men in the room, tall and lean, that was dressed in scrubs and a face mask looked up and when his eyes spotted Himchan, they curved up into crescents.

He walked to the door and stuck his head out before tugging down on the mask. "It's boy. We're have a little boy."

Soo Juk laughed loudly, startling the little girl who was groggily rubbing her eyes. Himchan was still speechless as he looked from his friend to his sister.

Sang Hee stared at the man who she assumed was Himchan's brother-in-law and squinted her  eyes. There was something familiar about him, but she couldn't put a finger on it.

Maybe it was because he was so handsome that he reminded her of a celebrity or maybe she saw a picture of him at Himchan's house or something, but it still struck a chord with her.

Yongguk grinned at his friend, 'Want to go see the little guy? I'm pretty sure he wants to see his uncle and grandfather for the first time."

Himchan's eyes widened, "O-Oh. Oh yeah."

"Oh come on, this isn't the first time for you. Come in."

 "Um…okay." He said frantically as he tried to clear his thoughts. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet and took a $50 bill and shoved it in Sang Hee's hand.

"Sorry I dragged you here, take a cab, it's on me, I'll see you at home."

Before she could open , he ran into the delivery room with Yongguk close behind. Even though Yongguk's new born son was a few feet away, he still turned and glanced at Sang Hee.

'I'll see you at home.'

That was a new development.

Sang Hee watched the door slam shut, stunned in silence. She looked at the money in her hand before looking back at the door.

It was the first time Himchan had ever apologized to her.

And he was still making her get her own ride in the middle of the night. What did she expect?

She let out a breath and was about to turn away when she saw Himchan's niece sitting beside her grandfather who was anxiously looking at door.

"Um…I can watch her for a while if you want to go inside." She offered softly.

Soo Juk's eyes darted to her and stared at her skeptically before looking at Ah Young, "Sweetie, I'm going to go visit your little brother. Is it okay if Himchan's friend stays with you for a while?"

The little girl's eyes bore straight through Sang Hee, almost giving her shivers before she nodded and unwrapped a lollipop. "Okay."

Soo Juk kissed the top of her head before thanking Sang Hee and ran into the room. She awkwardly cleared before sitting next to the little girl.

She laced her fingers together and set them on her lap as she thought of something to say. The last time she was around a kid this young, one of her school friends had given birth.

That was a while ago.

"So…um…"

Ah Young wasted no time. "Who are you? Are you Chan--"

"Bunny?"

The little girl pulled her eyes off of Sang Hee and looked at her father before her face lit up, "Daddy!"

Sang Hee couldn't move as she stared at the little girl. Was she about to say Channie?

No.

No.

That wouldn't make sense.

"Thanks for watching her."

Sang Hee shook out of her daze and looked at the man in front of her. He had changed out of his scrubs and was now dressed in a sweater and pyjama pants, most likely what he was wearing before his wife's water broke.

"It's no problem." She said as she stood up.

There it was.

That strange familiarity.

Her eyes drifted down his face, to the window where his wife was before it hit her.

Of course!

Himchan's sister was the woman who testified against Ryu, Chin Hwae told her that before, she must've seen pictures or something about her husband in passing.

Yeah. That was it. That's why he seemed so familiar.

Ah Young ran to her father, who swiftly lifted her up into his arms, "I'm going to take her for a little walk, she's been sitting out here all this time and needs a little love, right bunny?"

Ah Young pouted, "I was bored, I want to see my brother."

Yongguk chuckled, "Soon after Himchan and your grandad's done, okay?."

She nodded and leaned against her father's collar. Sang Hee couldn't help but smile at the sight, there was something about warm family moments that always did it for her.

She was a pretty tough woman, but moments like that could have her in tears.

"Are you fine here? Do you need a ride back to your place? Himchan mentioned that he brought you here without giving you much choice." He asked kindly.

Sang Hee declined, "I'm fine thank you. I'll just wait here."

She looked over at the window where Himchan was glaring at his sister whose head was tossed back in a laugh.

But then his eyes landed on the baby in her arms and his face immediately softened as his sister gently handed him her son.

He had that smile.

She'd obviously never say this to his face, but he had this smile that looked like it could genuinely light up the world.

When he was happy, he was happy.

She figured that, that's what he must look like when he stared at people he actually loved and cared for. It was amazing.

She didn't think he was capable of anything other than the way he acted around Chin Hwae and Dong Chul.

Her eyes widened when she saw what looked like tears glaze his eyes.

"It's surprising, isn't it?" Yongguk asked when he saw the look on her face. "He was never like this before. Kim Himchan never cried or got emotional for anything. The only person that could make him cry is his sister and even that is pretty rare. He's come a long way."

Sang Hee didn't know what to say to that, she barely knew Himchan, she couldn't imagine a time where he was more guarded than he was now.

"You're his partner right? On the force?" Yongguk asked.

Sang Hee looked at him before nodding, "Yeah, or at least for now."